People are saying things twice over, people are
MY CHILD TOLD me she was drawing “a round circle”.
I said: “Aren’t all circles round?”
She looked up. “NOT THE SQUARE ONES,” she said.
I backed off. You can’t win an argument with anyone born after 1980, the date at which humans evolved beyond logic.
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One of the results of the new irrationality is the massive epidemic of tautology (saying the same thing twice) sweeping the world.
A new product appeared on the shelf at my supermarket: Chai Tea. Since “Chai” is the Asian word for tea (“chai” in Hindi, “cha” in Chinese, “tsaa” in Tagalog etc), people in this region cannot help but read the name as Tea Tea.
Ten meters away was a jar of red stuff labeled Salsa Sauce. Even I know that Salsa is Spanish for sauce, so the product was Sauce Sauce. And in the frozen section was Shrimp Scampi, which means shrimp shrimp to anyone who knows any Italian.
On menus in cafes in Vietnam you are offered a choice of drinks: “Coca Cola Coke” or “Pepsi Cola Coke”.
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Tautology is all over Asia’s maps, too.
In China, there’s the Gobi Desert (“Desert Desert”), and Mount Lushan (“Mountain Lu Mountain”).
In the Philippines, you’ll find Laguna Lake, and in Kashmir, Dal Lake—both of these mean Lake Lake.
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I once met someone from East Timor, and pointed out that since Timor is Malay for East, his country’s name meant “East East”. He shook his head, replying: “Not so. People who actually live there call it Timor-Leste, which is actually the same thing backwards.” He folded his arms to signify that he had won that argument. I was about to point out that “East East” backwards was “East East” but then I realized that he was under 30, so I shut up.
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Europe has many examples of tautology, too.
In the UK is a town called Torpenhow Hill, a name which comes from the word for “hill” from four languages, so the actual name is Hill Hill Hill Hill. And since Hill is a common English family name, there are likely to be individuals who call themselves Hill of Hill Hill Hill Hill.
Spain has a river called the Rio Guadix, which means River River River, and Estonia has Saaremaa Island, which means Island Land Island.
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But the most tautologous place on Earth is France.
I once tried to learn French.
Lesson one was the word “today”. This is aujourd’hui, which means “on the day of this day”.
Lesson two was the question: “What’s that?”
In French, one says: Qu'est-ce que c'est? This means: "What is it that it is?"
My brain about to implode, I fled before Lesson Three.
Grandpa Fardel can probably add to this list.
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I asked my child whether she could actually draw a square circle for me. “OF COURSE NOT. It’s Tuesday and I only have blue pens,” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I’m sure this makes perfect sense. Just not in my universe.
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One of these days I will find the time to fly to the town of Wagga Wagga in Australia, where I tell residents that their town has a silly name, and recommend they change it.
Proposed new name: Wagga Wagga Wagga.
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Anyone like to add new names of things, people or places which they find really annoying?
