ARE YOU A pathetic loser? Do you lack A-list friends to name-drop? Are you the hated Casey Anthony? No problem. Here’s a neat trick. Simply surf the internet and find someone interesting of Facebook age/social class anywhere on the planet. It might be a rising starlet from Asia, a random cutie from a crowd shot in Europe, or Charlie Sheen (if you have really bad taste).
Then just think about this amazing true fact: He or she has a friend who is a friend of a friend of someone you actually know. That should cheer you up. And if you have time, you can even track the person down.
A tech-y reader showed me a recent study which shows that more than 90 per cent of Facebook users now have only four degrees of separation. What that means is that you can pick any Facebook person at random, and someone you know really will have a friend of a friend of someone who actually knows him or her. We’re all that closely connected.
Here’s how to make best use of this factoid.
You wait till your buddy is salivating over some image in a magazine: “That Katy Perry/ Faye Wong/ Aishwarya Rai is SOOO cute.”
YOU: “Thanks. I’ll tell her you said that.”
HIM: “You KNOW her?”
YOU: “Not personally, but she has a friend who is a friend of a friend of one of my good buddies. It’s true, cross my heart.”
HIM: “Wow! Can you introduce me?”
YOU: “Gimme your World of Warcraft card collection and I’ll think about it.”
Try it. The goodies should come rolling in.
TALKING OF celebs, did you hear that Lindsay Lohan’s handbag was stolen last week? She lost US$10,000 in cash, the reports said. And two or three necklaces with store tags still on them, if I know Lindsay.
(And I do: she’s Facebook friend of a friend etc.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SMS! Wow. We just passed the 19th anniversary of the first text message.
Just think, 19 years ago there was NO WAY to send the message “hi” to another human being, other than email, instant messages, faxes, talking, letters, smoke signals, sign language, telegrams, morse code, semaphore etc. How did we survive?!
A MASSIVE steel bridge in Calcutta is in danger of collapse because many of its 500,000 daily pedestrian users spit corrosive splatters of chewing tobacco on it. Newspaper commentators said the moral of the story was that tiny bits of corruption can bring down a huge structure. Surely the lesson is: Don’t destroy the bridge you’re standing on?
Spit. Creak. Arrggggh! Yes, the irony gods score again.
FACEBOOK IS advertising to hire staff. I’m tempted. Look, it got to be the one place on earth which will never ban their staff from doing Facebook at work.
HAD FUN the other day tormenting a lawyer who was using the Act of God defense in a case involving a “material breach of contract”.
HAVE YOU done your Christmas shopping? Get out there and spend. The economy depends on you.