How you can be a premier

A small country seeking a leader is getting desperate

WANT TO BE a world leader? Now you can. Follow the lead of a nondescript guy in the US transport department called Mohamed Mohamed.

Last October, he heard that the president of Somalia was in the US and visited him, mentioning that he had Somali blood himself.

“Really? Fancy being Prime Minister?” the president asked.

Moh agreed to have a go.

He went straight from nonentity to world leader.

Moh lasted just nine months in Mogadishu, during which time Somalia’s problems went from tragic to catastrophic.

He’s back at his old job now, the New York Times reported.

I would love to overhear his water cooler conversations with colleagues.

“Haven’t seen you around for a while.”

“Yeah, I took a few months off to be a world leader. It sucked.”

Now you see why democracy is better? (That’s something to think about for us in Hong Kong, China, North Korea, Singapore, etc.)

I told this story to a British reader who said that he’d heard a similar thing last week – but it was about a London school teacher.

Uh oh. Did this make it an urban legend?

No, a painstaking investigation (okay, a quick Google search) revealed that both tales were true.

A humble schoolteacher has just been invited to be deputy premier of Somalia and is heading, as we speak, to represent the country at the United Nations HQ in New York.

It’s impossible to escape the conclusion that leading Somalia is a job which sucks so badly that any random person foolish enough to take it can have it.

I’m tempted to have a go myself. I’ve got no experience of running an out-of-control country, but I have three kids. How different can it be?

Bonus: Hang out at enough global prime ministerial gatherings and you’ll surely meet Thai leader Yingluck Shinawatra, possibly the only totally hot premier in the history of the world.

***

A MAN AGED 38 in the UK city of Bradford got tangled in a clothes horse, one of those wooden folding frames used for drying wet laundry. The thing eventually killed him. Coroner Prof Paul Marks last week declared it “a rare cause of death”.

Sorry to be sexist, but this proves what I’ve always said: men and washing devices should stay far apart.

True story: one clothing company adds a tag on to the inside of menswear saying: “Washing info: Give this to your mother.”

***

AN INDIAN woman’s feet are so stinky they can revive unconscious people.

Shopkeeper Falguni Patel fainted while giving evidence in a court case in the US state of Florida last week.

A family member raced to her aid, pulling off a sneaker and applying it to the woman’s face.

“She faints a lot,” the woman told the judge. “This is what I usually do.”

I think I’d rather stay unconscious.

***

THE QUEEN of England is advertising for a butler. As well as efficiently handling tea trays, the applicant must be “discreet”, the ad says. Why? Do Liz and her husband play dress-up games at home?
***

YOUR COLUMNIST bought some “Select” brand peanut butter from the Park N Shop supermarket chain in Hong Kong. On it was a warning: “Contains Peanuts.” Thanks for that.

Technorati Tags: somalia,prime minister,queen elizabeth,contains peanuts,yingluck,smelly feet,clothes horse

Comments

[Karuna]

@Nury, check out the Pakistan foreign minister Hina Rabbani !!

[grandpa]

Interesting news
A country run by a woman?
Boy,it is going to be tough for the guys who do not bend down to female power....

Probably , it will be the ONLY country in the world to survive the crises

Maybe I should move to this country, maybe not

[Peter Mallen]

About stating the obvious: I don't know if you noticed a recent report (Monday 19th I think,) in "another English language newspaper" regarding a survey commissioned by the unmentionable medium finding that levels of carbon monoxide (CO) were higher in a street where vehicles left their engines running...... Duh ...

My own latest survey shows that where fish congregate there is likely to be water.

[ape]

Erm... some people are allergic to peanuts, thus the warning. However, are there peanut butter that don't use peanuts?

[H.B.]

@ape
People who are allergic to peanuts do not buy peanut butter.

If you think really really hard you may be able to work out why!

[Baby Tori]

Just a quick chat with my Thai colleague to confirm Yingluck's gender. Yes, she is a real woman! not very sure about her nose tho.

[grandpa]

Women taking over the governments, worldwide..
This is the end of the world as mentioned by the Incas calendar

[peter wei]

How to be a premier

Anyone toying with such an idea could be sponsored by drug makers only!

Yes, why not run for C/E, HK if you're Chinese and love HK and China? Apart from a lucrative remuneraton with pension and retirement funds presumably higher than the US president, your future career as NPC in China is ensured, if you were as smart and lucky as Tung Chee-wah!

[sej]

Nury,

I've seen the same thing here... a jar of Peanut Butter, and on the side it has:

Allergen Information: Contains Peanuts

But, perhaps this reveals the truth? Could the Peanut Butter be fake?

Cuuld counterfeiters have decided put "Contains Peanuts" on there somewhere to try and convince us it's genuine, when in reality, its just some peanut flavoured goo?

(I'm starting to get some rather disturbing imagery... I think I'll leave it there...)

[sej]

I also recall reading this article, about democracy, and how it doesn't work... (Remember someone, was it Churchill?, said, "Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.")

The general gist of the article was that you could have multiple governments within a country. So, for example, in China, you have the communist party, but then you've got those wishing for democracy, and those wishing for an Islamic state, and I'm sure there's others for something else.

Now imagine, each of these groups is able to run their own Government, and everyone, rather than voting in a government, gets to choose which Government they wish to be governed by. They then pay their taxes to the selected government, they receive the services of their selected government, and are subject to the laws of the selected government.

It seems a rather fanciful ideas, with some obvious problems, but thought provoking all the same.

[Lift Lurker]

sej, that is good idea.

Maybe each country take turns to rule the earth for one year. This year it is USA, then next year China, then next year Greece, then Thailand, then Russia, then Vatican, then Afghanistan, etc.

In Liftuania our peanut butter has warning "No butter! Do not use for pan fry"

Thai premier is so preety (is she the one in pink hat?). Why not have a Miss Universe contest for female premiers? Welcome to Donald Trump's Annual Miss Premier competition.

[Bianca Schlimm]

There is a new test for gender here (coming from crime story on TV). Try it. Go to the person you are not so sure of and ask it to remote the sweater.

Let's exchange results!

[Bianca Schlimm]

PS. Could also be a T-Shirt. It's not about what you see under the garment.

[grandpa]

"It's not about what you see under the garment."
It is not then , what is it?

[grandpa]

"It's not about what you see under the garment."
If it is not then , what is it?

[Bianca Schlimm]

Th fun is to try it out, survey and come to the solution and not tell the others too soon!
:-)

[Bianca Schlimm]

The fun is to try it out, survey and come to the solution and not tell the others too soon!
:-)

[TS]

It's not the manufacturer that's silly. It's all because people are confusing it with the new product called "I Can't Believe It's Not Peanut Butter", which does not contain any peanuts but is made from.... you don't really want to know...

[TS]

There is also people suffering from nut allergy denial.
The very rare condition is known as: "I Can't Believe It's Nut Butter".

[grandpa]

" “Contains Peanuts.”
In which quantity;
What is the rest made of?

[President of Somalia]

Dear Sir or Madam, I understand that you know of one or more persons who are looking for interesting employment.
I have a challenging vacancy for a Prime Minister of a small country.
The pay is not good, but the job title on the business card is pretty neat.

[vernette]

check out the prime minister of Ukraine!

[vernette]

previous, to be exact... :)

[rafanjr]

...men living in countries with a female head of state are what we call...men who like women on top.

[Graham]

Hi Nury,

More fascinating stuff to think about,

The leader of the Somali nation eh?? Here in North-West London we have a huge Somali community. Apart from the number of air ambulance uses they create as they take chatt which is banned all over the world except Somalia and the UK because of its desire to cause psychotic depression in its users, the other thing you notice walking down the street is the feeling of déjà vu they create. No sooner do you walk past a Somali guy than you walk past him again a few seconds later wearing something else. You cannot fake being Somali unless you have intensive plastic surgery to make you look the same. Therefore if you need to begin a sentence with the phrase “I am Somali too”, once has to question their credentials.

Yes, that is one world leader who would get my attention, if not my vote. But in a white blouse? Would she be more at home in a red shirt?

The washing instructions seem pretty sound. I wonder how they translate? Hopefully better than a Parisien Hotel I stayed at which had a sign on the door that told me that in the case of a fire I could use the fire extinguisher, but only if I didn’t expose myself !! That’s not the etiquette the French are famous for !

Poor Queen Liz. A few years ago a journalist got a job working at Buckingham Palace, and took photos of the royal breakfast table showing such things as cornflakes in a Tupperware container. It may be ok to pass on state secrets while posing as an art collector for Her Majesty, but to have such austerity flashed across our national papers (even before David Cameron was a glint in Gordon Brown’s good eye) just went too far.