A reason to pierce your ears

It will save you from witchdoctors

RESCUERS FOUND  A simple way to save children from witchdoctors: they pierce their ears. I learned this when I noticed babies at a children’s home I visited in Africa recently had earrings.

“Witchdoctors doing human sacrifices can’t use people whose blood has been shed,” a volunteer explained.

The evil black magic people grab the kids, and then notice the glint in their earlobes.

“Oh no! 18k gold solitaire studs from Macy’s. Eww, how gauche!” they say, putting them back unharmed.

This simple solution has saved hundreds of lives.

If only we could use this argument in the newspaper business. “You can’t downsize me, I’ve got my ears pierced.”

(I may try it next time I get sacked.)
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Talking of jewelry, did you see the report about the super-rich temple in India?

Masses of treasure, worth more than all the coins in Rupert Murdoch’s change purse, has been found in the vaults of a temple in Trivandrum, Kerala.

A fight is brewing. Does it belong to the descendents of the original kings? Or all the people of Kerala?

I think it should go to the temple’s god, Padmanabhaswamy, who doesn’t get much publicity, probably because no one can spell his name. He could then pay for an image consultant who could design a neat logo and shorten his name to PadMan or something. His main super-power is that he is the god of eternal sleeping, which is marvelously offbeat, but lacks visual appeal.

Anyway, I expect large numbers of people are approaching the temple, spades in hand.

PadMan need not worry. The vaults are said to be guarded by a supernatural snake, as seen in Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, etc.  (The new Potter movie, by the way, is excellent.)

The curse has already struck once.

The guy who filed the court order to open the vaults died suddenly, according to one sensational Indian newspaper source (I expect the owner’s name is Rupak Murdokani). This had nothing to do with the fact that the guy was 70 years old and sick, of course.
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On a related subject, reader Ranil Bibile sent me shock news about a top scientist in Sri Lanka.

Professor Nalin de Silva admitted that credit for his most recent discovery (the source of tainted water) should not go to his staff, but to Natha Deyyo, an invisible spirit due to become the next Buddha.

I’m not sure why Buddha would feel the need to do such a thing. It’s not as if he needs people’s votes or anything. Or when full democracy does arrive on Planet Earth, will deities have to stand for election too?
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If so, the Pastafarians are in trouble. This spaghetti-worshipping religion, founded in 2005, is still tiny.

But members won a small victory this month when one of their members, Niko Alm of Austria (above), was allowed to follow his beliefs and wear a pasta sieve on his head when being photographed for his driving license. Yay.
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Meanwhile, the witchdoctors of Africa got a new member. UK banker Thomas Heathfield, 32, vomited goats’ blood to qualify as a sangoma, a “good” witchdoctor who doesn’t do human sacrifices, according to the UK Daily Telegraph.

But still: you can’t be too careful. If this banker wants to meet you to discuss investments, you know what to do.

Get your ears pierced fast.
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(Illustrations from various sources, including The Guardian (Pastafarian) and www.hauntedxing.ca (witchdoctor))
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ON UNRELATED MATTERS…

* Grandpa’s daughter has just received her exam results and got top marks in English, Spanish and French – clearly she has her father’s brains. She may even come to East Asia next  year, so let’s prepare to give her a warm welcome…

* Karuna just sent in a newspaper clipping about an elevator being stolen – definitely one to follow up for Liftie—I hope he wasn’t in it at the time.

Technorati Tags: Thomas Heathfield,pierced ears,witchdoctor,witch doctor,Uganda,Padmanabhaswamy,temple,Nalin de Silva,pastafarian

Comments

[Bianca Schlimm]

I think Nury you are too rational here.
I think the curse did strike.
70 is best age.
Especially if you want to start your career in a party, best of all communist party.

Thank God its Monday and I have my ears pierced already!

[grandpa]

I want to see this clip about the elevator

Ll
Did you do it?

[grandpa]

Uncle
Thank for the compliments

- I do not understand your picture here.
Were you about to buy witch souvenirs to get rid of..
Whoever .....in HK?

[Nury]

Good morning, guys.
I guess you are right, Bianca, in that 70 is not too old any more.
Someone said to me the other day:
"60 is the new 40. 90 is the new dead."

My daughter asked me yesterday when i was going to die. I told her I would hang around to the age of 110.
"You won't miss me," I said. "You'll be 70."
It seemed to comfort her.

But I better go and do some exercise, make sure I can keep my promise.

Bianca and grandpa, you are both adults, but look so slim and healthy, how do you do it?

[Ram]

In India, Gods are rich (You already added the link about this), godmen are rich (http://ibnlive.in.com/news/sai-babas-yajur-mandir-inventory-prepared/168962-3.html), Politicians are rich (Read about the 2G spectrum scam... Its the most discussed thing in India for the past few months), businessmen are rich (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/oct/13/mukesh-ambani-india-home-mumbai)but common man is not (http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/in-vidarbha-poverty-drives-father-to-use-sons-to-till-his-land-121599)

[Ram]

Sorry!! the links in my previous post dont work because of the braces I added...I ll put it again here...

In India, Gods are rich (Uncle already added the link).

Godmen are rich
http://ibnlive.in.com/news/sai-babas-yajur-mandir-inventory-prepared/168962-3.html

Politicians are rich
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2G_spectrum_scam
Read about the 2G spectrum scam, which is the most discussed issue in India right now.

Businessmen are rich
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/oct/13/mukesh-ambani-india-home-mumbai

but common man is not
http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/in-vidarbha-poverty-drives-father-to-use-sons-to-till-his-land-121599

[tamanna]

Good that I have 4 ear piercings.Witchdoctors stay away..

"60 is the new 40. 90 is the new dead."..well said nury.

And congrats to your daughter and to you too grandpa..proud dad!

on a totally unrelated topic I wanted to share a link..really liked the video.Its about the beautiful sites of bangladesh.I hope some of you will plan a visit here in near future :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppf-UA36ljE&feature=share

[Bianca Schlimm]

Nury: Are you fishing for compliments on your smooth 43 looking skin??

What are the others here, teenagers?

Ok, Chaminda is a banana throwing kid but the rest looks 25...until they updates their pictures, ha ha.

(unemployment make me chubby. too much comfort.)

[Bianca Schlimm]

http://www.vineriaytapas.de/catering-a-partyservice?start=7

this is the other reason for looking healthy and a lil chubby

yum hum

[grandpa]

"Bianca and grandpa, you are both adults, but look so slim and healthy, how do you do it?"
Me?
Healthy? certainly,
slim? hummm
I am not so sure, sice I get two Lbs each time I eat ONE olive.

My secret?
Lot of sleep, interrupted by physical work , like running after , or in front of ,
passengers or loading and unloading tons of luggage.
No junk food, no prepared frozen dishes,
Eating healthy homemade bread and cuisine, in small quantities ,
except when it is too good ( I have a tendency to loose control on good things like :
apple pie,
brioche,
croissants,
éclairs
omelette norvégienne,
couscous,
pani puri,
omelette flambée,
crêpes
bananes flambées,
banana split,
strawberries, rasberries, guavas , dried mangos.
This list is not exhaustive, of course)

[farah]

after going thru the food list now i am hungry. i want to have eclairs with guava and strawberry.

[Bianca Schlimm]

What make the omelette norwegian?
:-)
little Beatles included?

[Bianca Schlimm]

http://www.elobservador.com.uy/noticia/206069/espias-en-el-vestuario-/

(the movie = 8 seconds great fun)

this is soooo funny and already banned from youtube

naked Uruguayan soccer winner

winners of LA COPA AMERICA

[Lift Lurker]

Somehow there is connection between pierced ears in Africa, jungfrau in West, and human sacrifice, but I am too depress to think of the connection (the missing Lift make me feel depressed....)

[Bianca Schlimm]

LL: you mean virgin or virgo?

The lift is not missing, it is just some place else. Is it not?

[Chamin]

@Bianca,

I will be playing Mario Cart and throwing banana peels at least once a year, no matter what age I am going to be :-p