Skirts-only rule upsets players

Sportswear rules hastily withdrawn from Badminton tournament

WOMEN BADMINTON PLAYERS are furious over a new rule that they must wear skirts in tournaments.

What would they rather wear on the court? Deep-sea diver gear? Space suits?

No. In fact, they almost always DO wear skirts. The problem is that the edict was handed down by the sport’s governing body, which includes MEN.

Bosses: “We need you to wear short skirts.”

Players: “We already do wear short skirts.”

Bosses: “That’s fine then, we’re just making it into A RULE.”

Players: “A rule? Okay, girls, we’re outta here.”
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It is a well-known fact in the psychiatry industry that telling people to do one thing makes them do the opposite.

I’ve known since childhood that if you tell the bully who is pursuing you “DON’T stop chasing me to spend a few minutes carving your best girl’s name on your arm,” there is a 50 percent chance he will stop and attack himself with a knife. (This knowledge saved my life on several occasions.)
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Women have accused the sport’s world governing body of wanting them to look sexy.

Male members have not responded to this accusation, since it’s one of those female questions to which any answer is wrong.
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The Wear Skirts Rule was supposed to be implemented last week at the championships in Singapore, but was temporarily withdrawn, so women wore what they normally wore (skirts).
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(sports bra)
Singapore was also the location of the previous sports-wear upset. A netball tournament required men to wear tank tops and women to wear sports bras. “It’s sexist to want women to play sports in sexy attire,” sportswoman Nur Liyana Noordin told the press.
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What to do?

1) Make all sports people wear miniskirts and sports bras, including the men.

2) Add a rule telling the guys to lose weight and wear Speedos so they also look sexy.

3) Make everyone play naked, as in the early Olympics.

4) If being eye-catching is all that important, make everyone wear giant plastic wings, nun robes and Obama masks.
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Male sport bosses have always been sexist. Consider football association boss Sepp Blatter (whose name, I notice, is an anagram of Bra Pest Lept, which sounds like a headline from the crime pages of the New York Post).

Asked for ideas on lifting the profile of women’s football, he said female players should wear “tighter shorts".
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This might not be a bad idea. Stanislawa Walasiewiczowna outran every woman in the world during the 1930s, winning two Olympic medals and setting 18 world records, and that’s not counting the title of “Least Spellable Sports Star Ever”.

When she died she was discovered to have a banned substance in her shorts: testicles.

She was either a “he” or a “hermaphrodite”, which is Latin for “Michael Jackson”.

If she/ he/ it had been made to wear tighter shorts, that little problem may have been solved.
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For South Asian women, fashion companies have come up with the Burkini, which is basically an ultra-modest, all-over swimming garment which allows strict religious females to take up “any role involving physical exertion”, including sportswoman, ballerina, pole-dancer, stripper, Charlie Sheen companion, etc.

It’s been a huge hit, although I understand there’s been some resistance from the pole-dancing clubs.
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Technorati Tags: burkini,badminton,skirts,singapore,sports bra,Stanislawa Walasiewiczowna

Comments

[farah]

won't they drown wearing a burkini? it looks way too much cloth to be in the water.

[Bianca Schlimm]

I think Burkini has a great future.

First it looks like Woody Allan dressed as a sperm.

But then smart woman realizes: end of hair trouble!!

and the onlooker sees at once that there is not only Western style woman in this world, not only atheists, but self confident religious women.

fashion world is working on such clothes.

[Jason]

A Canadian take on the burkini from the show Little Mosque on the Prairie:

http://www.tubeplus.me/player/1100369/Little_Mosque_on_the_Prairie/season_1/episode_4/Swimming_Up_Stream/

A side note, lead character Yasir played by Carlo Rota went to the ESF Island School.