Man marries bearded woman

“You look different, dear. New hairstyle? New earrings?”

URGENT WARNING: Most people are wrong about the sex of their spouses, according to my commentors and emailers.

Memo to self: Better check tonight.

Last week, your humble narrator expressed surprise about several recent cases (in India and Sri Lanka) in which women mistakenly married other women thinking they were men. The result was a massive flood of letters (five).

“In this metrosexual age, I believe the majority of modern men are women on the inside, and a growing number are becoming women on the outside too,” wrote a gentleman who wisely did not want his name printed.

Aiyeeah! So worrying.

The canteen was serving chicken and rice for lunch so I skipped it, fearing the hormones might give me man boobs (also known as “moobs”, I’m told by deejay Phil Whelan).


(Simon Cowell shows his moobs)
*
The next letter was even MORE shocking.

A man did not notice his “wife” was male, despite the fact that she had a beard, I heard from Maurice Templo.

Muhammad Umar from Bekasi, West Java, was married for six months to Fransiska Anastasya, who wore loose, feminine clothing and a headscarf.

After half a year, several neighbors made the same comment, according to media reports: “Have you noticed that your ‘wife’ has a beard?”

You can imagine Muhammad’s train of thought at the time.

“My wife? A beard? Can’t be. Better check. Wow, she DOES. I knew she was special. Wait.”

This discovery sent him to the police station.

Media reports recently said Fransiska turned out to be a guy called Rahmat Sulistivo who was apparently filled with regret for his choices. (“Hmm, maybe the beard was a bad idea.”)

To be fair to the husband, he may not have had quite as full a beard as in the image at the top of this posting (which is from an old “bearded lady” poster), and was really cute when they met – see left picture below.

 

Clearly Rahmat has a great career ahead of him playing sexually ambiguous roles, possibly in an Islamic version of Glee, if one can imagine such a thing. No, I can’t either.
*

The next relevant comment contained details of an even more dramatic case: that of Bernard Boursicort, a Frenchman in China, and his “wife”.

“They were married for 28 years and had a son together, and he still didn't know his wife was a guy,” said Kanyu Wong, who also goes by the name Dancer Arroyo.

Mrs Boursicort’s real sex was dramatically revealed in a court room by a prosecutor who had the wildest gig in the history of trials, not excluding the Star Trek episode in which Mr Spock’s evidence is overruled because he used alien telepathy.

The story became a book and an opera and a play etc, Madam Butterfly.
*
I mentioned the Boursicort case to my wife, saying: “How on earth could a man not notice his wife was a guy for 28 years?”

She wasn’t the least bit surprised, replying: “It’s impossible to underestimate how unobservant men are.”

At least I think it was my wife who said that. I forgot to look to see who was talking.
*
Meanwhile, Lift Lurker, Denise Luk and others wrote in with foolproof tests which women can use to see if their “husbands” are men. 

Three best ones:

1) When a goal is scored in a football match, “he” shouts “Home run!”

2) In 10 years of married life “he” never leaves the toilet seat up.

3) In the closet “he” has 78 pairs of shoes.
*
This last comment gives me confidence in my gender, as I own only two pairs of shoes, both black, and identical in design.

Maybe I will risk that chicken and rice canteen lunch after all.

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*
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ON OTHER MATTERS….

Thanks for your suggestion, Bianca, that I win a big literary prize and can organize a party for all the commentators. It’s a good one, since readers often log on to this site for the comments, not the postings. Sadly, I always get the job of being judge of literary prizes in this region, so I can almost never actually win them.

But I do travel from time to time, so hope to meet some of you on my expeditions. Next up: off to Singapore to be chair of the judges of the Scholastic Children’s Book Award in May.

Book update: My book on Glee has been delayed while the publishers collect photos and artwork.  The “real-life” Mr Jam book about the growth of this column/ site is nearing the end of the second draft, yippee. A book called “Only in Asia” should be out soon in downloadable form. I sometimes forget that I have a real job, as well as writing this diary.  Have a smiley Monday!
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Technorati Tags: bernard boursicourt,bearded lady,married a man,married a woman,moobs,madam butterfly

Comments

[Jason]

I was driving across Missouri 10 years ago and stopped for gas, the female station attendant had a beard and mustache. I guess there is something to the urban legends of cousins marrying in rural US ;)

When in doubt, like in Thailand, one could always adopt the Crocodile Dundee technique..."just checking"...but one risks getting slapped in the face.

[Lift Lurker]

I think this situation give us glimpse about future life.

Like the gender free language police keep telling us: do not discriminate (I think they are right but I disagree with them)

They tell us: don't say fireman, say "firefighter." Don't say policeman, say "speeding ticket dispenser".

Soon when children are born, the birth certificates can no longer have section on sex: because it will be discriminate (baby girls get killed in some parts of China and other countries)

Convents can no longer ask prospective nuns: Are you female? So we will have nuns with mustache. "Good morning Sister Oscar"

Just like boy scouts cannot reject girls who want to become boy scouts, Miss Universe cannot reject men who want to join, so it have to change the name to "Universe Person 2012"

Perhaps "Universe Person 2014" will be first winner with hairy arm pit. Yet female. From East Germany. (Yes they divide again in 2013
-- too much culture difference)

Fairy tales will be generic: Little Red Riding Hood went to visit Little Red Riding Hood's grandparent. "The Frog Prince" become "The Frog Royalty".

Marriage will be announced by :"I now pronounce you spouses. You may kiss the other one."

Of course, discreet grabbing will be very common in all level of society. Instead of handshake when we meet someone new, we grab. "How are you down there?"

To counter this, all male baby will be eunuchized and given extra
hormones. All female baby will be given steroids.

And in the year 2100, the UN will vote to change the name of Earth to Amazon.

Und ze sisters dream vill finally kom tru

[Irene]

Dear Lifty, you are a bit extreme. Especially in the grabbing each other part. This can be avoided by having a celebration of Thai New Year every day: I hear they pour and shoot water on everybody during the two days, so all the people out on the streets are soaking wet! Then we'll see some gender differences! Convenient, ha?

[Bianca Schlimm]

LL: And what kind of a wild theory is this splitting Germany in two again? There is not much cultural difference. East Germany is cuter because smaller, and funnier because stricter. But they all eat horrible food.

I want a hint now, either what your mother tongue is or from where you write, please!

Nury: very happy to have made your day. I mean it too!

[grandpa]

You guys are very complicated.
when we meet somebody whom we do not know, we should just do like dogs:THEY NEVER make mistakes on the gender of newcomers.

Bearded woman?! This can be detected by somebody paying attention!
Chest haired woman is another story:You think that you are diving into the softness of a blouse to get yourself trapped in a rainforest

Yeurk

[Bianca Schlimm]

mh... typepad does not agree to print that I find it 100 % good idea to smell poeple..only not where the dogs do it... I mean not so soon as meeting someone
:-)

and I wrote that Nury's wife is wise and cool.

[Horse]

I actually think the Frenchman knows, it you know what I mean.

[Lift Lurker]

Hi Bianca,
If you look at my history, you know that when I was infantile of 13 years old, I was left by my mother in railroad tracks (it was dark and she think it was orphanage). So I do not know my mother tongue.

But grandpa is my grandpa, so my grandpa tongue must be French! Oo la la, lah.

But some people in Liftuania say my accent point that I come from small village called Liftveria but I have no memory of it. I do wear metal gloves and green cape sometimes.

From your name I guess you are Thai?

(PS in your blog I like the video Megaflittchen. Do you know what movie it was?)

[TS]

Bob the Sapient came running into the little clearing in front of his and Ned the Neanderthal's caves.
He whisper-shouted to Ned "Blimey! Clean up, clean up, I got a real nice lady comin' 'round. Nuff said, yeah?".

Ned looked around. It was all Bob's own stuff laying on the ground near the fireplace. Gnawed off bones and pits from eaten fruits.
Bob took two handfuls of leftovers and threw them behind a bush. He ran back and forth with scraps a few times.
Just as the last armful was dumped out of sight, the centre of his excitement walked into the clearing.

Ned had never seen a woman like that before.
Tall with long black curly hair.
The eyes looked strange. Very sharp black eyebrows and a kind of dark shade between the eyebrows and the eyes.
The lips was crimson red, like she had just finished eating red meat.

Ned just stared. Bob stared too, but with a strange soft look in his eyes that Ned had only rarely seen.

Woman: "Don't get strung out by the way that I look".

Ned: "Gah"

Bob: "Sky above! You look great, love"

Woman: "You look like you're both pretty groovy"

Bob: "Erm, would you like to se my cave?"

Woman: "Sure, I see you shiver with antici... pation!"

As Bob and the woman disappeared into Bob's cave, Ned noticed a picture on the woman's shoulder. It looked like the ink, that some tribes put under their skin, for body decoration.
It was red and shaped like a heart skewered with something that looked like a flint knife.
Above the picture was some strange symbols that Ned had never seen before: B-O-S-S".

[Bianca Schlimm]

LL: you are from Baveria?? that's why you are so funny!
There will be a movie soon with a baverian comedian playing Stalin and another guy playing Hitler, I have to see it. and yes, I'm kind of obsessed about those guys, I have to admit and laugh a lot about it!

There are even poor kids in Colombia that are named Stalin, Hitler or Mao...thank to all gods they did NOT live their name (as yet)

Why
should I
be Thai?
:.))

Clips from the movie "Le petit soldat" (1963, France) with the beautiful actress Anna Karina.
But don't you call me Megaflittchen again! Bad word!

TS: very very funny!!! So Bob IS going to get hit! GAH!

[Lift Lurker]

Bianca, thanks for the movie title. I will look for it.

grandpa, your observation about dogs is more amazing than Newton observing apple falling to ground. you are wise beyond your years.

[grandpa]

@Bianca
Lift lurker must be from Austria or Switzerland: countries which would not survive without cable cars.....

[Bianca Schlimm]

G: As Hercule Poirot I am a total loser I must aknowlegde (?). Too bad! His little mistakes in English, as we all do, can be a fake. (maybe he is belgian?)

LL: This band (Stero Total) has some other old movies in their videos, like Romy Schneider seeming to be stoned even...but also lots of kinky stuff that I would not show.

[sej]

Men don't need to be observant... Women do it for them.

[rafanjr]

...grandpa, this post is again another reason for not getting married right?

...the post above is the basis for the play/movie madame butterfly. the link tells us how the Chinese guy was able to deceive the frenchman, the drammatic court revelation according to uncle.

http://www.nytimes.com/1993/08/15/magazine/the-true-story-of-m-butterfly-the-spy-who-fell-in-love-with-a-shadow.html?pagewanted=26&src=pm

[grandpa]

One learns something everyday
"A naive or credulous lover, looking at this man now, might believe he was looking at a woman. Of course, one could not look too closely. It was only illusion. "
These line prove me right:The dog technique would have worked

"But 90 percent of love, even a man of science will volunteer, is illusion"

Did I write that?

[Angela]

Nury-san, when are you coming to our sunny island?

*

When I was employed, I work hard 8 hrs a day. Now that I am self-employed, I work harder 12 hrs a day. Gah! As Bobob says.

*

So I woke up at 4am, packed my weekend bag and got on a bus and then ferry to an island resort in Malaysia. Time for a quick holiday.

First leg of the trip we stopped by a roadside eatery for breakfast. After a plate of mi goreng, everyone qeued up in front of the ladies toilet.

A tall european man queued behind me. I turned around and pointed him towards another door -- which was already open, and there was no qeue -- the men's toilet.

Oh! He exclaimed and stepped in. He looked left, looked right, then stepped out and declared, "there's no toilet! Maybe its a shower" There's a pail of water and a dipper. He reclaimed his position in the qeue.

The Mi Goreng Auntie came over and told him in Bahasa Melayu to go in to the men's toilet, pointing to the open door. He complied and stepped into the cubicle again. "look for a hole in the ground! " I shouted after him. And then added, "Asian toilet!"

Finally he closed the door, did his business, and came out smiling triumphantly. "Thanks!" he said to me and winked.

[sej]

Grandpa,

I don't think you went far enough...

I would like to suggest, that love is in fact nothing more than an illusion, period.

I think what most of us refer to as "love", is in fact just a mix of lust, happiness and fear.

[Lift Lurker]

> lust, happiness and fear.

This is not how I feel about my children!

(But its how I feel about Lifts and how they feel about me).

Vivre la Belgique!

[grandpa]

@LL
don`t tell me that you are from the country without hills and curved roads.
How boring (°_°)

[Bianca Schlimm]

Vive Hercula la/le Poire!
Moustaches for all women!

sej: women do not WANT to do it for men! Serious eyerolling overworks eye nerves.

[grandpa]

It happened last week ......
in my island..
In a big villa ( a village for one family as a matter of fact), there was a robbery.
The rich owner had bought three expensive, specially trained doberman ( should I say dobermen?) to keep the property.
He was surprised to come back and to find his house damaged .His dogs with had scars and cuts.
They were still very excited.. He went around the property to investigate..

The thieves has tied down a hot lady dog to the fence..
The three dogs fought for her, giving time to the thieves to operate quietly

[Lesley]

I find it quite rude the way people cringe and moan about where hair grows on the body. In some areas, like the head, it is acceptable and others, like chins, its not. But no body, male or female has any power over where it grows out of. So lets stop being hairist and stop judging folk by where their hair grows!

I'm going to shave my head and grow my armpits.

[Bianca Schlimm]

"hairist" is very good.

I don't have a bad hair day but a bad hair life so I cannot fuzz about hair too much.

all the gay people who are unhappy in their homeland: come to Berlin, its your paradize.

and, also very cool point for Berlin: They gave a job to Ai Wai Wai at the art Uni. I think that is kind of clever! (and people sit in chairs in front of the Chinese embassy asking where is the guy.)

[Bianca Schlimm]

I love the subject HAIR.
There is a very funny concept album here in Germany. all about hair. The title giving song is this:

"I don't care about Claudia Schiffer,
Lagerfeld and Joop
I don't care about that hubble telescop(e)
I don't care about d.r.u.g.s.
I don't even want to go to bed with you
All that really matters is LE FRISUR."

They mean the haircut. This is so funny as it is no real French
Just like Lift Lurkers "Vivre La Belgique"
so funny. One should make a song/concept album
"Vivre La Belgique"!

This is my fourth try to post it. this is what the band always has to deal with too, being censored.

[Lift Lurker]

Lesley hit nail on the blonde head: we are all hairist.

We judge people by hair.

If you disagree, test yourself. You see that you judge the gender of person by hair:

1) The blonde police-person approach the suspect. (male or female police?)

2) The suspect had thick nose hair (male or female suspect?)

3) An old person with bushy ear hair was watching them (male or female old person?)

4) With the old person was young French child with chest hair (male or female child?)

5) Across the street, the English pedicurist with hairy armpit look intently (male or female pedicurist?)

6) The pedicurist's bald customer was reading Hollywood magazine (male or female customer?)

7) Next door the Italian baker was kneading dough. The baker's stomach hair was accidentally mixing with dough (male or female baker?)

8) The baker's friend the Greek butcher forgot to shave this morning and so the butcher's feet was very stubby (male or female butcher?)

9) The carpenter with shrub of hair on mole on nose was fixing a door (male or female carpenter)

10) The commenter had shaved head and hair in armpit (male? female? Lesley? Uncle Nury?)