10 truthful ads you’ll never see

 
Here’s a challenge to advertising agencies

A BRUTALLY HONEST job ad was posted last week on journalism.jobs.com by the Illinois Valley News, a US newspaper:

“How bad do you want to be a reporter? Bad enough to work nights and weekends? In exchange for your long hours and tireless efforts you will be rewarded with low pay and marginal health insurance.”

A sneering banker read the ad out loud to me in the bar.

“That’s not fair,” I said. “There are loads of POSITIVE things you can say about working as a journalist, a deeply noble profession which is all about the fight for global justice.”

Unfortunately my declaration was undermined by the fact that I was reading “Test Your Knowledge of Hollywood Homes” in the latest People magazine at the time.
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But at the least that job ad was honest. And it reminded me that this month is the 52^nd anniversary of the application letter written by the late Hunter S. Thompson to the Vancouver Sun.

In 1958 he offered his skills to the editor, but admitted that he had never read the paper.

”By the time you get this letter, I'll have gotten hold of some of the recent issues of the Sun. Unless it looks totally worthless, I'll let my offer stand.”

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A well-dressed woman in the advertising business stepped in to the conversation with a warning: “The whole brutal-honesty-as-a-bonus thing ONLY works in recruitment ads,” she said. “It does NOT work in product advertising.”

That was an intriguing statement. So we sat down with pens and Photoshop to test it by creating truthful ads for top products. Here they are: TEN honest ads for today.

 

 

So the ad-woman was right. Truth-in-advertising only works for job ads.

At this point, I noticed that the banker was backing out of the discussion.

Ah. Of course. He drives a Ferrari.

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Technorati Tags: truth in advertising,carlsberg,nike,ferrari,AIG,microsoft,apple humor,iphone 4,Mars,de beers,united airlines

Comments

[Paul]

Today’s post reminds me of the old Dudley Moore film from back in 1990 called ‘Crazy People’. The premise was that an ad executive has a nervous breakdown and is committed to an institution, where upon he gets the inmates to create ads that put the truth back in advertising. As you can see from the clips, political correctness had not been invented yet. (note: some adult language in clips)

Clip 1 - Volvo and France (from Crazy People)

Clip 2 - Sony (from Crazy People)

[Ellie]

Cheeky, clearly Mr Jam is not expecting sponsorship from the big corporations!
Paul, good movie

[Jason]

Truth in music...

"Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money...the girls with the bodies, like boys with Ferrari's."

- Good Charlotte, Girls & Boys

[Ram]

I found a couple of altered "truthful" ads from holytaco.com.

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

Possible honest recruitment ads:

"Join the Sri Lankan State Service: a lifetime vacation with full pay!"

"Want to be rude to dozens of clients without getting fired? We have the right job for you!
- United States Immigration"

"Still want bonuses after multi-million dollar losses? Join "

"Join the only profession where you compete with colleagues, even to buy your office chair! Become a researcher!!"

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

"Still want bonuses after multi-million dollar losses? Join ....... (any investment bank you like) "

[grandpa]

"Travel for free...
Visit beautiful countries
Discover wonderful cultures.....
Meet amazing people....
And

kill them....."

US Army Corps

[Christyn Rana]

1930s cigarette ad: ''hey you never know you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, go have a fag.''

Name of a shop selling generator in Nepal: Buddha Power.

[TS]

Is your cup half full or half empty?

[Ram]

@Chamin...

"Join the only profession where you compete with colleagues, even to buy your office chair! Become a researcher!!"

Thats very true....

[rafanjr]

Become a Flight Attendant

A Job where you need to dance 10, 000 feet above the ground in order to inform passengers how to save their lives if the plane crashes.

[grandpa]

Writer
a job where you fill up pages of white paper with black signs, with the intent to transform them into bank notes..

Photographer
A job where you try to compete for money against the rest of the world who does the same thing for free.

Model
A job where you have to starve yourself to fit into dresses only a skeleton can wear.

Taxi driver
A seated job where you can relax all day in a comfortable chair, in an air conditioned office which you can drive around the country

Bus driver

Same as taxi driver , your office is just bigger and more comfortable

Subway driver
A job where you always try to reach the end of the tunnel

Airline pilots
Same as taxi or bus driver, except that you are served meals and drinks by sexy flight attendants who compete for your attention
Unlike the taxi and bus driver , you can drive your office around the world and relax in beautiful distant countries

You work closer to Heaven

Elevator driver
Humm?

Elementary School teacher

A job where you are asked to teach manners to a herd of wild beasts

High school teacher

A job where you are asked to teach manners to a herd of wilder beasts

College teacher

A job where you are asked to teach somethings to what is left of the wild beasts , mentioned above

University teacher

A job where your are asked to transform wild beasts into leaders

Note ; all teachers above work in a noisy environment , for peanuts, but they have a good vacation plan: 4 month a year( in participating countries only)

[Lift Lurker]

Elevator driver
Humm?

We have seen the future and it is us.

In 20, 30, 40 years there is no more taxi driver or pilot. All cars and planes will not need drivers anymore. They will be remote controlled just like in "I, Robot" and in tribal Afghanistan.

It is a bright future. No more "overpaid pilot error", no more "drunk driver" and it will be a safe place for man. People will live longer and happier.

People will have eradicate death from malaria, tuberculosis, plane crash, car crash, etc.

Economy will improve because more people will live longer. Demand for wheelchair, pacemaker, arthritis medicine, will become greater.

Greater demand for real job like doctors and nurses and teachers will grow (septuagenarians need to enrol in university for post-post-post graduate study to improve their career).

Ram and Chamin do not worry because the price of wheelchair will drop. Soon you can buy wheelchair from Ikea.

It is all because of visionary Elijah Otis, who say: there is no need for driver. we can make transport safe for all mankind.

[grandpa]

@ lift lurker
Good post

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

I sure hope that:

1. There will be good instruction manuals with IKEA wheelchairs, so that users can assemble them with brakes working.

2. There will be more teaching jobs, so that I can jump from research to teaching :o)