The Return of Stupidjuice

A multi-national takes a mega-bet that we consumers are really stupid

BILLBOARDS ARE APPEARING in Asian cities showing bottles of colored liquids.

The highly fashionable New York drink Glaceau Vitamin Water is “available here at last” says the poster near my office.

Vitamin Water? That sounds yummy. NOT.

But the pictures reminded me of something.

In Asia in the 1980s peddlers would set up rainbow-like displays of what they called “fruit juices” on the pavements.

In the hot summers, people would buy them, since they were wet, sweet, cheap and often came with exciting free extras, including botulism, salmonella, dysentery and similar types of conveniently-sized portable livestock.

In those days, Asian kids grew up with incredibly strong antibodies. My antibodies could pull trucks with their teeth.

But as a child, I could guess what the orange and red flavors were meant to be, but the blue and purple drinks confused me. “What fruits are they made of?” I asked.

“Stupidjuice,” one of my uncles explained. “These drinks are made from tap water, sugar and chemicals. Only idiots would buy them.”

A bottle cost one tenth of a rupee, roughly equivalent to one US dust speck.
*
But life is strange. As the years passed, homebrewed sugar-water died out in most places in Asia.

Yet in India, StupidJuice evolved into something rather wonderful: a fruity crushed-ice drink called gola.

Imagine a slushy with a more complex flavor, a fruity base topped with masala spices, fresh lime and a portion of chicken tikka. No, wait, the last item is my lunch.

In recent months, big businesses launched a gola brand called Gogola, inspired by Google. Luxury brands use crushed ice made from purified mineral water and syrup made from jambul, a fruit said to be a natural cure for diabetes.

Fruit juice has come a long way in Asia, yeah baby.
*
Such were my thoughts as I did what the advertisements told me to (I am a deeply obedient consumer) and went to the mall to buy a bottle of Glaceau Vitamin Water, citrus flavor.

It was tepid, watery and didn’t taste anything like citrus fruits.

Then I noticed some TINY print on the label which said:

“Contains no juice.”

The ingredients were tap water, sugar and chemicals.

“This is StupidJuice!” I exclaimed out loud, laughing like a maniac. “You are selling StupidJuice for 100 times the original price.”

The serving staff had no idea what I was talking about, but nodded nervously while phoning the mall security department.

It was too weird. Rich yuppies were lining up to buy a product identical to the scam fruit juices sold in Asia two decades ago.
*
Standing in the coffee shop, I phoned a business reporter and asked: “Who makes this stuff? Why is there no logo on the bottle?”

He laughed, explaining: “The logo has been omitted because it might give buyers a clue that it is not really a fruit-based health drink at all. A Coca-Cola subsidiary makes the most expensive colored sugar-water on the planet. Their other drink is called SmartWater. Basically, Coke has taken a US$4.1 billion bet on human stupidity.”

Hmm, betting on human stupidity, are they? That’s a sure win.

Buy Coca-Cola shares. This product is going to be massive.
*
”My antibodies are bigger than your antibodies,” I told the guards who ushered me out.

The yuppies watched from a distance, sipping their StupidJuice.
*
*

Technorati Tags: vitamin water,scam,cocacola

Comments

[Nury]

Hi guys. I was out of internet contact for most of the past 10 days, but I came in range today, and I did enjoy spending some time today catching up with your comments. Lots of great stuff as usual.

The summer hols are here (or winter for Australia-based readers).

Some readers have long complained that there are sometimes way too many updates on this site, so they will be happy. The number will fall to a manageable number for a while.

The other good news is that I am not just lazing around. One of the things I am doing is a book telling the story of how this project came together.

It seems like yesterday that I was writing this stuff and I was my only reader.

Today the posts are printed in lots of different countries and have vast numbers of readers from all over the place.

And it's not just about numbers -- it's the mixture of readers that fascinates me: where else do fervent Muslims swap good-humored jokes with fervent atheists, and commies swap jokes with capitalists, etc etc.

Anyway, big thanks -- you are all part of this uplifting story...

[Vernette]

Well, the "StupidJuice" we used to have on sale as well when I was a kid (I think we still have them on the streets of even the Golden Triangle area of KL!!). But we do have something that this modern StupidJuice doesn't have -- real fruits in them!!
Yellow - Pineapples
Green - Limes
Red - Real Rose Syrup (made of real roses in Cameron Highlands, used to cost RM2.50/bottle) or Water Melon
Pink - Real Rose Syrup + Carnation milk!!
Brown - Tea + Lime!!
Very Dark Brown - Cincau (herbal jelly)
Orange - real slices of Orange!!

They look something like this:

And this:

and this!!

Are we going backwards or is it just somebody playing catch up?

**

On another note, love your blog/columns, keep it up! ^___^

[Vernette]

Ooops! Sorry about the over spilled images. I'm not good at HTML at all, it's... erm... very technically challenging... ;-p

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

"It has the color, it has the taste, but it is not THE drink....
canada dry"

On the same principle....or how to make money ( lot of it ) by selling drinks.
It has the color , it has the flavor....
"This drink is guaranteed without any natural ingredient ..."

[TS]

We have previously discussed things like these on this website.
In most places you are not allowed to sell a drink using the word "juice" unless the drink is 100% juice.

Same goes for Maple Syrup.

A person, whom shall remain anonymous (I'm not the kind a person who hangs out my mother in-law on the web), bought this in the belief that it was 100% maple syrup.

Let's take a closer look at the label.

It's "The Original Canadian Syrup", made by a company called "Steves Maples".

Looking at the ingredients list reveals that it does actually contain maple syrup, but listed as the third ingredient.

There is more sugar and water in this bottle than maple syrup and it doesn't say how much, which probably means a few molecules.

Even when the legal guidelines are followed, you can still be fooled.

P.S. It also says "No Preservatives", which is not quite correct, sugar is a preservative.

[fardel]

Mega companies make mega bucks on mega stupid people.
At the age of internet, when one could think that people would become aware, they are just becoming stupid ..at internet mega speed.

[TS]

Smart is hard, stupid is easy...

[Angela]

I've had it with over-prices "fresh juice" from juice stands that sell juice from one orange and a cup full of ice cubes and sugar for $4 a pop so I went to the store and got me a braun citromatic orange/lemon juicer for my birthday present and I am happy to report that it looks like this is one machine that will finally satisfy me and we may even develop a long term relationship. Right now we are only seeing each other on weekend mornings during breakfast but post-july I may just commit myself to a daily doze of fresh australian orange juice every morning. No sugar, no ice, just fresh zumo de naranja....aaaaah...

[TS]

Angela, are you going down under?

[Munsonmike]

My favorite stupid juice is baby water. There are several companies in the US that sell highly marked up bottle water that is "Specially designed for infants".

"Baby water is safe and pure for your infant"

"Be sure to carry an extra bottle for pure and gentle washings on the go"

"You're doing everything you can to give your baby a healthy start. Trust Nursery® Water as an important part of your plan."

[Christyn Rana]

Uncle Nury, have you tried 'puchka' in india otherwise known as 'pani puri' in nepal. It has secret ingredients. The whole magic is there. I blessed with diahorrea for a week. I shamelessly and quite happily chase hunt for it whenever I get a chance to go back.

[fardel]

My favorite drink remains SKY juice.
You just wait for a rain, you collect it , you filter it ...You enjoy it.
The cost ?
humm should we talk about it?
Nope
You will be jealous ..

[Dancer Arroyo]

If Coca cola is 'smartwater', is its lesser rivel, Dr. Pepper, 'smart cough syrup' in disguise? I go for the stuff like water but most people I know think it tastes like cough syrup.

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

I drink Coke only if I am really tired and it is freely available in the lab fridge, it works like a drug when taken occasionally. Ironically, it is the opposite of what the Coke ads try to portray, that Coke is associated with fun and good times.

Stupid juice on street stalls is much better than stupid juice from mega companies. Those from mega companies don't improve your antibodies.

[Grover]

I think what this post and the comments that follow really show is this. Asian products in this area (sweet liquids)are actually fairly honest. They claim to be fruit-based and they probably are, although they probably also contain lots of non-healthy sugar. But the products from businesses in the west come across as grossly dishonest. Vitamin Water from Coca-Cola is a clear example of dishonest packaging. The same is true of Qoo the drink mentioned earlier this column (also made by Coca-Cola. These products give the impression of being juice-based but in truth they are actually between 97 and 100 per cent based on tap water.

What's the conclusion? That businesses in the West are "better" at doing what businesses these days try to do: give you as little as possible for your money, using marketing that is as deceptive as the law will allow.

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

@Nury
Your article missing in Standard for the last couple of days. What happened ?

[farah]

@ Christyn

i love puchka and i can have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. sometimes when i dont bring lunch i go next door to have it. the only thing is that i have to wait till 5pm for them to open.

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

@Farah
where can i find the receipe?

[Angela]

TS - Not going anywhere near down under. I just like Australian orange because it's plump and juicy, yields more juice compared to other oranges I tried.

[TS]

Aha, so that's where all the juicy juicy oranges have gone...

[Nury]

Hi Mike, thanks for the "baby water" tip -- that looks worth a follow-up. I also liked your "wisdom from babies" lines under a post last week: really good.

The pix and tales from Vernette and TS are good additions to the post above, many thanks.

Christyn: I never heard of Puchka, must try it--and Angela, freshly squeezed Aussie oranges sound heavenly.

Karuna: I've stepped away from my various newspaper columns and my day job for a while to do some travelling and write a few books.

I plan to use some of the distilled wisdom from you commenters in one of them!

[Nury]

Hi Mike, thanks for the "baby water" tip -- that looks worth a follow-up. I also liked your "wisdom from babies" lines under a post last week: really good.

The pix and tales from Vernette and TS are good additions to the post above, many thanks.

Christyn: I never heard of Puchka, must try it--and Angela, freshly squeezed Aussie oranges sound heavenly.

Karuna: I've stepped away from my various newspaper columns and my day job for a while to do some travelling and write a few books.

I plan to use some of the distilled wisdom from you commenters in one of them!

[farah]

fardel

it's too difficult to make at home. i would suggest you to go to an indian restaurant for it.

[Vaibhav Chadha]

Puchkas/ pani puri is also called 'gol gappa' in north india and is delicious. i kid you not everytime my wife has a sore throat she has a plate of gol gappas and despite being spicy and tangy it works as a cure.

Speaking of juices i would advise all to have fruits rather than juice since you eliminate all the fiber and pile on the cals.

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

I searched my dictionaries (seven languages);
i found "impossible" ( but that word applies to everybody)
i did not find " too difficult, you should get to an indian restaurant"
Surely, if a street vendor can make them , I should , too, although with a slight difference.

@Uncle
Do you mean that , next time I travel to Hong Kong, nobody will know who I am?
sigh'

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

@Farah
is that you , in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi , eating the Puchkas?

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

This does not look too difficult to me (°_°)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBUM86Q87HA

[farah]

i dare you to try ^_*

i actually am worse than that. anybody near me has to well equipped with tissue papers since i end up with runny nose and sometimes teary.

[Mahjuja]

Fardel watches Indian movies? All this talk of golas and puchkas makes my mouth water. Unfortunately, golas are not available in bangladesh and puchkas I can't eat really because my mom won't let me (free tummy aches and all).

[Lift Lurker]

Maybe its time to introduce new organic water.

Designed to build up antibody of weakling children in Western countries.

Introduce Antibody Water.

Its' made of distilled water with drops of super antibody building water from Ganges river in India, from Potomac in US, Buriganga in Bangladesh, Pasig in Phillipines, and from other dirty rivers of the world. Raise your children on Antibody Water and they will out-survive even cockroaches.

Unlike Vitamin Water, our Antibody water has real fruit juice. Sourced from the most pesticide saturated farms in the world.

(If mutations persist, see your doctor).

[fardel]

@Mahjuja
Am I too old or To Western for that?

[sej]

Lift Lurker,

You surprise me! No mention of a lift.

Remarkable!

[sej]

(I have to say though, even without references to lifts, your comment still doesn't miss anything on the punch.)

[sej]

Fardel,

I haven't watched the video all the way through yet, but to where I got up to, I have to agree with you, it doesn't look all that hard.

I might try and watch the whole thing tomorrow, and then give it a go.

[fardel]

I am going to try it.
Hey girls!
you do not know what you will be missing!

[Angela]

All these talks of antibodies reminded me of the time I was hospitalized (3 days) for drug allergy.

I had a massive case of rashes all over my body, my ears are swollen to unusual proportion and my lips were competing with Angelina Jolie's for the most plump award. On the second day, the Doctor came for morning rounds and noted that the steroids had calmed down the rash attack but also there is a small scab like portrusion on my left foot which made him suspect chickenpox. So he started investigating my medical history.

Doc: have you had chickenpox before?
Me: Yes
Doc: Measles?
Me: Yes, and Rubella too
Doc: Mumps?
Me: Yup
Doc: hepatitis a?
Me: uh-huh!
Doc: where did you grow up? you seem to have contracted all childhood diseases.
Me: :-) hehehe...

*my antibodies can probably qualify for olympic weight lifting

[fardel]

Maybe , YOU are an antibody

[Vernette]

@ Fardel

I'm going to try it too :) maybe this Saturday if the typhoon hits.

[fardel]

@grandma
I can imagine you sick with big ears.
Did you inspire G.Lucas to create the yoda?
@Vernette
Tell me if they taste good

[Lift Lurker]

Sej, I am begin to see that there is life outside of Lift. Unintelligible life, but life nonetheless.

"punch" - good pun!

[Angela]

make fun of me, do not

Read the dirty magazines you will
Rubbed one out you have?
Young one failed, you have not

With you may the force be

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

@Vernette & others in Hong Kong,
you can try Pani Puri(gol guppa) at Woodlands Restaurant, Mody Road (1st floor Wing-on Plaza). They also serve various other "chat"(the name for this type of India food) such as "bhel puri", "dhai puri" etc.

For those who want to try making it as home, try "Haldirams" make "pani puri" ready-mix, which should be available at Indian provision shops. Chung King Mansion surely has.

For those, who want to improve their antibodies, take a dip in any of the beaches in Hong Kong. The water here comes mixed with raw sewage that flows into our Victoria Harbour.

Good Morning everyone.

[Lift Lurker]

Did Uncle Jam say he would not write newspaper columns anymore? What will happen to this website?

Does sej have opinion on news about methane bubble caused by BP will cause end of the world in 6 months or less?

[Angela]

Gang,

at the start of the year I made a new year's resolution to do the things I have never done before. So I did.

www.writer.com.sg

This morning I got an sms from a friend that says "to get something you never had, you have to do something you never did"

I don't know what awaits me post July, but I know that I will have a great adventure, my life.

:)

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

Angela,

That's great. All the best, and do your best!

(Japanese people don't wish good luck, they say "Ganbatte" which means "do your best!")

I too did something for the first time, and it finally made to Amazon a couple of weeks ago:

http://www.amazon.com/Take-Great-Photos-Your-Digicam/dp/0557221307/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279093778&sr=1-2

[TS]

Does sej have opinion on news about methane bubble caused by BP will cause end of the world in 6 months or less?

I believe that fardel have already covered this in a versatile comment further up:

At the age of internet, when one could think that people would become aware, they are just becoming stupid ..at internet mega speed.

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

Making a change , trying something new can be costly, may not meet the expected success,or even fail
But making no change, trying nothing , is equivalent to a lifetime suicide
One can always adjust to changes, and will always learn from them

turning back on his/her experiences of a lifetime , one will smile or laugh at his /her failures and successes.
or regret he/she never tried.

Go Angela..Go

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

Whoooooooooooooow
Uncle Nury does not know it yet.

In France , a few hundred years ago a few writers got together and started litterary movements like the poets, the revolutionary, the romantics .......
Uncle started a new litterary movement;
Should we call it:
"The practical writers of the 21 century"
Chamin with his book
Me , with my pilot's guide of the Caribbean
www.chrisaviation.aero
Angela, with...................

@Grandma
If I was not living on this side of this planet, I would fall x in.................. Whoooooooooooooow
Uncle Nury does not know it yet.

In France , a few hundred years ago a few writers got together and started litterary movements like the poets, the revolutionary, the romantics .......
Uncle started a new litterary movement;
The practical writers of the 21 century
Chamin with his book
Me , with my pilot's guide of the Caribbean
www.chrisaviation.aero
Angela, with...................

@Grandma
If I was not living on this side of this planet, I would fall in.................. again

did anybody kill my messenger?

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

What was that?

The egg has hatched and the Angela we thought we knew has turned from a caterpillar into a butterfly called Christina
grandma

Are you a butterfly in the last stage of her metamorphosis?

Enjoy your flight................

Uncle
did you know that when you met her in SG?

[Lift Lurker]

Congratulation to Grandma. All of sudden, the character 'Angela' has poof! disappeared. All fiction! And a more interesting one appeared.

Congratulation to Chamin too. So many surprises in one day.

@TS, internet give acccess to data but sometimes not the means to understand data. Who knows what people in the outside trying to do to this earth?

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

since Nury article was missing for the last few days had no reason to pick Standard. With nothing to do with my morning Yam-Cha, got thinking !!
Got a business idea of putting together a weekly or a monthly magazines with funny, interesting articles from all of us. Everyone writse on the blog and end of the week/month, the best is picked, printed and shipped out.

[fardel]

@ grandma
do not forget that the flapping of the butterfly's wing in Asia , accelerates the heartbeat of old men in the Caribbean...

[Chamin]

I wish I can travel to Caribbean and visit St. Barth. I once applied for work at the University of West Indies. If I am luckier next time, may be there is a chance :o)

[Mahjuja]

Anybody have a lift-me-up? I am heart broken today...Why do people just go from closest to strangers?

@fardel I just thought such movies wouldn't interest you.

[fardel]

@Mahjuja
What made you believe that?

[Mahjuja]

@ fardel Right now, I really don't know.

[mike]

@Mahjuja

Here is your lift-me-up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

[fardel]

@Mike
Nice film

[Chamin]

Mahjuja,

Here's my share. Cheer up, and have a nice day!

http://fast1.onesite.com/capcom-unity.com/user/snow_infernus/large/7ad442c40c4401e7065fd7559bf7bbe1.jpg?v=134550

[A. Writer]

Karuna, i understand you are a very successful businessman. however, if you can make a magazine work, it will take a lot of skill. the market seems very saturated and people have less and less time.

However I like the idea of a community magazine like you suggest very much.

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

Uncle!

Every day after my last flight out (5pm ,5 am asian time), I used to get to my shop/office, take off my shoes, relax and go to the Standards to have a good laugh before going home.
That would give me time for an answer to the day's subject....
No more
It is depressing
I think that i shall need a lift-me-up too.
What about the thousands of readers in Hong Kong, who were drinking your columns for breakfast
What about the early passengers of Dragon Air , on their way out of Hong Kong who receive a complimentary copy of the Standards:no more of morning humor.;

Are you serious , to have stopped writing there , or are you testing us?
on top of that, Angela has quit being Angela..

This is a bad day

[Angela]

hey!!!

who said anything about me quitting?

I just introduced another person who does all the serious writing. I don't want to be her, her job is no fun. I like driving trucks and carousing on the net.

good morning folks!

is it still a good morning for Hongkongers without their daily doze of Mr. Jam to go with cuppa?

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

Karuna,

I think that's worth a try. If you come up with something that has a difference (just like this site), it will be great!

[Angela]

Karuna, that's an idea.

This is what I tell my clients about building up web presence through blog: do it twice a week, once a week minimum, or don't do it at all.

With internet megaspeed, reader attention also goes at megaspeed.

I always maintain that humor is like s3x, you can never have too much of it. Recommended dose is 3x a week.

The funnies have to come once a week, fortnightly is too long. People need daily "LIFT me up" or at least one every friday.

Suggestion: weekly publication, out every friday. Title is "TGIF - Thank Gola It's Friday" Tagline is "Your Weekly Lift Ride to the Jamland"

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

hmm... think we could try a test run of "Thank Gola Its Friday".

Release the magazine, whenever we have sufficient content. If we can do it weekly, great !!
All articles first posted on a common blog. Gets voted by rest of the team. Nury has the final say on what goes in or not.

@Angela, since, you are free from July, how about we appoint you the CEO.

And appoint one of our team as distributors for each of the following location
-Hong Kong
-Singapore
-Japan
-Australia
-Bangladesh
-Caribbean
-Sri Lanka
-Lift

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

Now
we are talking serious business.

I agree with none of you
it should be called,
"Thank Us , it's Monday." on mondays
"Hold tight, We are getting there" on wednesdays.

what is S3x,
is it related to ONS?

[Angela]

if you release it on mondays, call it a "cure for monday blues"

after thinking long and hard (my fave adjectives) i.e about a nanosecond, it makes sense to release on monday as people need it more that they need it on friday.

[farah]

@ Karuna

love the idea. so do we call ourselves Nury's Angels/elves/messengers? or anything else?

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

THANK US ,THIS IS MONDAY
This is your cure for monday blues
By
THE LIFT ME UP GANG

[farah]

and the theme song will be 'lift me up' by moby.

[Lift Lurker]

Has Uncle Nury Jam say anything more about the future of this website?

I think the above ideas are good but too optimistic. Without Uncle Jam we are like the elves without Santa, like the pirates without Captin Hook, like SATC without Carrie, like an airport without plane.

[Angela]

Fardel, I got a phone call from a young man with french accent. He said he has something for me from St. Barth and I am meeting him later to get it.

Could this be your messenger?

The good thing is, he works at the same neighborhood as a client that I am meeting later.

[Angela]

Mr.Jam's gang without Mr.Jam is like banana split without banana?

or is it like an elevator without the lift?

Q: what's an elevator without the lift?
A: phone booth

to be fair, here's an airline joke:

Q: what's an airplane without the lift?
A: concordski

[A. Writer]

Correct me if I am wrong but I don't think Mr Jam has disappeared permanently; I think he is trekking in the jungles of sri lanka for a few weeks.
Also i think the rest of you are doing a very good job of providing interesting material to read while he is away.
as for the HK standard, I am afraid it has temporarily lost its best bit. I have stopped reading it.

As for karuna's idea, I think it is already in operation to some extent. Every week or so, Mr jam has been putting a column into the newspapers which is almost entirely made up out of the best quotes from the commentators the previous week.

So you guys are already printed in newspapers all over the place. No need to organize printing and distribution etc.

[A. Writer]

Correct me if I am wrong but I don't think Mr Jam has disappeared permanently; I think he is trekking in the jungles of sri lanka for a few weeks.
Also i think the rest of you are doing a very good job of providing interesting material to read while he is away.
as for the HK standard, I am afraid it has temporarily lost its best bit. I have stopped reading it.

As for karuna's idea, I think it is already in operation to some extent. Every week or so, Mr jam has been putting a column into the newspapers which is almost entirely made up out of the best quotes from the commentators the previous week.

So you guys are already printed in newspapers all over the place. No need to organize printing and distribution etc.

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

@grandma

who else could it be?
His mother might be afraid to meet you.
unles she is afraid to come beck to St Martin to tell the ladies here that I have a chinese..........
Beware l,he is handsome (°_°)

trekking the jungles?!
i don't think so
He has been kidnapped.

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

oop
He has been kidnapped for Random

[TS]

Nury has been writernapped and is held for random on the island of Ergodic in the Stochastic Sea by the evil pirate Haphazard.

[Lift Lurker]

And there are no Lifts in Ergodic to provide him comfort and solace from the evil Dr Bayes!

[TS]

Fortunately Dr Bayes's semi-evil assistant, Monty Hall, will try to help Uncle Nury to escape.
He will place him in a room with three doors.
One leads to freedom, the two others only have goats behind them.

[grandpa aka faye Libad aka Fardel]

The door to freedom leads to a shaft.
but there is no elevator

[Vernette]

Yes guys, it's really depressing that the only about Mr. Jam is one single line that says "Nuri Vittachi is on holiday". In fact, it's sooo depressing that I've fallen sick, and it's already Thursday, and a beer festival is coming up this weekend... Ai...

[Lift Lurker]

Uncle jam know his best option is always switch doors, but the goats (randomly named Amos and Daniel) have very high utility for someone so hungry. And tired.

So he use evil pirates Anchor to open the doors.

[sej]

O Uncle Nury, Uncle Nury! wherefore art thou Uncle Nury?
Deny thy followers and refuse thy Jam;
Or, if thou write not, be but send us hope,
And I'll no longer be a lost soul.

[Lift Lurker]

The door to freedom leads to a shaft.
but there is no elevator

A day without Uncle Nury Jam is like shaft without Lift, is like Romeo without Mercutio, is like butter without bread, is like instant noodle without the flavor packet.

But I am sure Mr Jam miss us too.

[TS]

A note was found:
We demand a random o' five bucketfull o' chestfull o' lottery tickets all numbered consecutively, be havin' long ago realised that sequential numbers be jus' as random as random numbers.

♫ Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum ♫

[Christyn Rana]

@ Farah, I envy you.

@ Mahjuja, my grandma tries to prevent me too from eating so that I don't explode her toilet later on but I must say I find it worthy.

@ Uncle Nury, if you ever pass on from this life without eating that and successfully attaining toilet-explosion moments, I tell you, your life's only half-lived.

@ fardel, you don't look like you watch hindi movies but I'm glad you do. the only kinds where I laugh when i should be feeling sad, doze off when i should be crying. if you don't believe me, watch 'Veer'. oh and you should watch haseena maan jayegi (personal favourite of Uncle Nury)

[fardel]

do you mean that he was an actor in this movie?
Maybe this explains why he disappeared..

[fardel]

Hey girls
You look like you are judging peolpe by their looks........... too much!

[fardel]

"so hungry. And tired."
and thirsty..............

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

@Mike, nice film

[Munsonmike]

I thought I would share an uplifting story of the power of forgiveness after the tragic shooting that occured on Oct 2 2006 in Lancaster Pennsylvania.

In the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania, a devout group of Christian people live a simple life without automobiles, electricity, or modern machinery. They work hard and live quiet, peaceful lives separate from the world. Most of their food comes from their own farms. The women sew and knit and weave their clothing, which is modest and plain. They are known as the Amish people.
A 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. Last October he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up the 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.
This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman's suffering family. As the milkman's family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, "We will forgive you."1 Amish leaders visited the milkman's wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman's funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman's family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.
One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, "We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service. And, yes, a language of forgiveness."2 It was an amazing outpouring of their complete faith in the Lord's teachings in the Sermon on the Mount: "Do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you."3
The family of the milkman who killed the five girls released the following statement to the public:
"To our Amish friends, neighbors, and local community:
"Our family wants each of you to know that we are overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that you've extended to us. Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. The prayers, flowers, cards, and gifts you've given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.
"Please know that our hearts have been broken by all that has happened. We are filled with sorrow for all of our Amish neighbors whom we have loved and continue to love. We know that there are many hard days ahead for all the families who lost loved ones, and so we will continue to put our hope and trust in the God of all comfort, as we all seek to rebuild our lives."4
Hearing of this tragedy, many people sent money to the Amish to pay for the health care of the five surviving girls and for the burial expenses of the five who were killed. As a further demonstration of their discipleship, the Amish decided to share some of the money with the widow of the milkman and her three children because they too were victims of this terrible tragedy.

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

@Munsonmile, Interesting article. Led me to read about Amish on Wikepidea. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish
Read this disturbing point about the way they treat their own children !!

The Amish stress strict obedience in their children, and this is taught and enforced by parents and preachers. Several passages in the Bible are used to support this view. Their children, as do all children, may pout or resist a parent's request. However, things such as tantrums, making faces, calling another bad names, and general disobedience are rare because the child knows that those actions will result in corporal punishment. Any youthful dis satisfactions are usually verbally expressed, but profanity is never allowed because the guilty child can expect swift punishment.

[Mahjuja]

Thanks guys, just the fact that you care, and all those hillarious comments lifted my spirits. :-)

@ Fardel, What has looks to do with judgement? Why do you say that? If your talking about the movies, then my assumption was because I thought you would not find indian movies interesting because of the language and cultural gap? Just an assumption. I only expressed surprise not indignation...I thought you would prefer Brigitte Bardot moives (just kidding)!

[Munsonmike]

@ Karuna The point of the story was you always get to choose how you feel and the Amish in this tragedy chose forgiveness over anger.

Why you chose to respond to the story with a criticism of the Amish surpises me. But your feelings and thoughts are just as valid as mine.

[fardel]

@Mahjuja
Watching a movie is like travelling.
once the lights go off , you are transported in another world or in another time
One can learn a lot from movies.
The decors are beautiful, the people too as are the stories, or the music.
There is a spirit in a movie , the spirit of the country or the region where they are produced.
Being born on one continent , raised on another one , living in a third one , I am now discovering a fourth one....
Everything from it, interests me...

If you have a chance to watch movies from Africa ,Spain Italy, Germany, China you will be surprised by the richness on the world cultures.
Of course ,you will have to accept the fact that they are not as "perfect" as expensive Hollywood movies , but they are very interesting, more sincere, more sensitive and mostly they are more down to the human level.
Try these , aas a starter
Amelie (French)
Prince of tears (Taiwan)
cerf volant du bout du monde The magic of the kite 天涯风筝 风筝 (1958)
Being open to foreign cinema is the same mental process as being open to the World, and its people.

I am that kind of individual , and not an old fashion desk clerk biggot from the biggot West.
I thought that it would show through my comments.
This explains my surprised comment..

But no worry
No offense.

This being said, Brigitte Bardot movies were good:
They were the first ones of a kind , 40 + years ago..
They upset the French Society at these times.
They led to the freedom of women....

[Lift Lurker]

@Karuna, what is disturbing about section you quote?!?! They sound like my kind of people!

However, since they do not use Lift, they are not my kind of people.

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

If the goats are capable of teleportation, Nury will have to find a different way out.

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

Regarding Amish: I think corporal punishment for making faces is a bit too much. If this applied to me, I could have been beaten to death at the age of 12 :o(.

[Ram]

oh!!! was a little busy for the last two days and wow! a lot of comments here...

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Nury!!! So, are u still writing in Readers' Digest or not?... Hope we will have a good book from you soon...

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Well, about pani puri, I really miss that... Especially, I can't forget the one I ate somewhere in the streets of New Delhi... The "Pani" was with ice cubes and quite spicy... When you put it into the mouth, you wont feel the spicy flavor immediately but as you chew it and swallow, it gives a mixture of soury and spicy flavor and well...no words to explain!!! and to end up with a sweet puri will mellow down the fiery hot flavor... Just too good. I never found one like that anywhere after that.

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@Fardel: "Watching a movie is like travelling.once the lights go off , you are transported in another world or in another time"

I think when I was young, I had trouble getting transported into another world when the lights were switched off... I will go to the movie theater with my parents and everything ll be fine till they switch the lights off... I will cry out loud so that either my dad or mom will take me out... I remember that the theaters had some slopes with red carpets and I will walk happily up and down with an ice cream in hand for the whole 3 hours (Indian movies are looooooong...u know, there is even a drink break in between).

Either dad or mom will be with me for the first half of the movie and then switch for the second half. But, they were never tired about it and tried going to movies from time to time. and it ended only when I was 10 years old I think.