Cows from the sky

And no, these incidents are not urban legends

LIKE MANY PEOPLE, I regularly look up to the heavens and say: “Why has a cow never fallen on me?”

One of the main reasons discerning consumers like me chose to live on planet Earth is that life here is full of delightful surprises. Whales explode, dumb criminals break into police stations, religious images appear on pizzas and, most memorably of all, large animals fall on us out of clear blue skies. Life: there’s really nothing quite like it.

But it can be unfair. The other day I was lamenting that no beast has ever fallen out of the sky on me, with the exception of an incident when I was nine, when a love-crazed young girl of my age leapt on me from a tree, giving me a life-long fear of trees, women, the sky and, let’s face it, life.
*
The same cannot be said about a man motoring down the highway in Changchun, China last year. His journey was interrupted by a cow descending out of the blue and landing on the hood of his car. The cow, which police speculate may have fallen out of a speeding truck and somehow bounced into the air, had no motor insurance, third-party or otherwise.
*
In the US state of Washington, a large object fell from the sky onto the roof of a minivan belonging to Charles and Linda Everson. Mr Everson, 49, got out of the car to see what had hit it, and his wife heard him repeating: “I don’t believe it,” according to media reports. She joined him to find it was, yes, another cow. Police suspect the 300-kilogram beast threw itself off a nearby cliff, possibly distraught over the voting results of American Idol.



In Alaska, a flying moose crash-landed in front of state trooper Howard Peterson. He told reporters that the moose, considered primarily a land animal, can soar through the air. “They can fly and they can land,” he told the Anchorage Daily News. “Just not very well.”
*
Similar incidents take place in Europe. Norway resident Leo Henriksen was enjoying a leisurely Sunday drive with his wife when a 350-kilogram moose landed on their car. People are always going on and on about how brilliant Japanese cars are, but the wreckage made it clear that the manufacturer, Mazda Corp., neglected to include any sort of protection from giant descending mammals. Hard to believe, I know.
*
Asia, of course, is the World Capital of Bizarre Road Hazards. In this region, my road journeys have been interrupted by the sudden emergence of monkeys, elephants, wildebeest, and—scariest of all—leaping herds of demonstrators demanding more repression. (This is surprisingly common in Asia.)
*
Some years ago I reported on a traffic accident involving a collision between a small truck and a large fish. It sounds odd until I tell you that it happened in Bangladesh, where it makes perfect sense. Several districts in that country cannot make up their minds as to whether they are land or sea and shift from one to another at a moment’s notice, at great inconvenience to residents.

In June last year, frogs and toads fell from the skies on and off for a whole month in Ishikawa Prefecture, Japan.

In February this year, fish twice rained down in the Northern Territory of Australia.
*
Over a bowl of noodles at a hawker center, I brought up this subject and several diners shared tales of strange items falling from the sky in Hong Kong, Singapore, Taiwan and mainland China, ranging from cash to  children.

“People hang their clothes out to dry and things fall out of the pockets,” a diner explained.
*
A week later, I had a personal experience of a gift from the skies.

I was being driven along a highway in Hong Kong behind a truck containing live fish headed for a restaurant.

It went over a bump.

A surprised-looking garoupa flew into the air and then slapped onto our windscreen. It bounced away before I could claim it for lunch.

But it did suggest that my luck with regard to falling foodstuffs is changing.

I have invested in steak sauce and a roof rack. Somewhere, my cow is waiting.
*
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*
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ON UNRELATED MATTERS…. Many thanks, gang, for all your funny comments and discussions lately. I logged on this morning and was thrilled to read what you’ve been writing. Angela—can we see some of the love letters you are trying to delete?!! Mahjuja—l’m glad you are “picky” about guys and don’t believe in Cinderella stories. (Guys, can we use our connections to locate a nice hunk in Bangladesh for her? Even if she rejects him?)

The posting above, by the way, is a piece that I did for this month’s edition of Readers’ Digest.

As some of you know, I have abandoned my internet connection to hide away and write some books.

The good news is the first one is finished. I will send it to the publisher today. It’s not my usual sort of thing—it’s a book about the TV show Glee for a new series of “enhanced” books on pop culture. Enhanced books come in two editions – physical ones are heavily illustrated and ebook versions are illustrated with moving images. They are actually pretty cool. (There’s an article about them in today’s New York Times.)

I’m halfway through writing the Mr Jam book. That’s been tougher than I thought it would be. That’s because it ISN’T just a compendium of postings from this website. It actually attempts to highlight something really interesting and significant that is happening—world culture has been dominated by the Americans and the Europeans up to now; but (as demonstrated by the outbreaks of world-class humor from people like Mr Jam’s Gang) the global balance is about to change for ever.

I’m also doing a bit more travelling (off to London on Monday, yippee!). If you’re in London and free, meet me for coffee – I’ll be next to East Finchley station on the Northern Line.

But I will be back in the saddle in a couple of weeks. Please have LOTS of great ideas about things we can do.

Comments

[Paul]

Today's posting reminds me of this classic scene of the falling whale from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

I'm more partial to the version done in the BBC television series, but it seems that I could only root up the film version on YouTube.

Having gone deep sea fishing with my father during my youth, he would relate stories of raining fish. These are actually a fairly common occurrence in recorded history and I have heard some scientists state the same reason my father told me as a boy being that the fish were likely sucked up by a waterspout (a tornado on the ocean) and blown for miles before raining down in some populated area.

[Ram]

There is one trend I observe about the comments posted here... Normally, Fridays are kinda too slow and there are not much inputs...

So, is it because everyone is too much into work to finish off the week's pending things before the weekend or is that everyone is so tired because of a long week's work?

[Mahjuja]

Poor fish! The saying 'It's a dog's life' should be changed to 'It's a fish's life'. :-(

@ Mr. Jam And pigs could fly...
But on a side note, guess what people related and mostly unrelated to me are saying now that I'm leaving home to go to grad school (not even college):

"And your parents are sending you alone?"
"Who are you going with?"
"Where and who are you staying with?"
"Have you taken cooking lessons from your mom?"
And last but not least,
"Remember to get married." (lest your marriagable shelf life expires!-implied)

[fardel]

A maiden's shelf life is 30
30 years or 30 Kilos , whatever comes first...
After that , come some names which I cannot mention here.
Uncle , you claim to be in the jungle , away from medias
humm
I looked at a world map.
I did not see any jungle around London.
But if you want to find savages, go to Paris .
The town is full of them, they are called Parisiens

[farah]

@ Uncle Nury

you're writing a book for Glee? awesome! i love Glee. we're getting season 1 here and i'm totally hooked...even went so far to download the songs as well *_*

as for fairy tales what sej said is true that you have to make your own fairy tales. it's going to be 4 years for me and my guy and we have been through lots of fights (which he mostly had to put up since i can be very mean), ups and downs but each day has been an experience. i am honestly blessed. just waiting for my fairy tale ending for me to be swept away towards the sunset...

ps: sometimes you have got to be corny. happy friendships day everyone!

[Mike]

I have a comment that is out of the blue. My friend is getting married and his brother made this pearl of wisdom. Put a bean in a jar every time you have relations with your bride during the first year. After your first year anniversary, pull out a bean every time you have relations. The jar will never empty.

Any comments?

[Dinu]

True, Fardel. Maiden wouldn't own a shelf weighing an extra 30 kilos or been used for 30 years. I'd sell it to the antique collectors in the west.

[grandpa aka Faye Libad aka fardel]

@Mike
This is shocking news...
After reading this , no one will want to get married .....

[TS]

@Mike
Sounds like something only a bean-counter would do...

Besides, beans improve with age and quality always surpasses quantity.

[Vernette]

@Mike

It depends on how long the 2 have been dating before they got married and how long they are married before they actually get a divorce! haha

[Mike]

I suspose if you are keeping score from the begining. There will be no winner because you are focused on getting rather then giving.

[grandpa aka Faye Libad aka fardel]

If you want to spice up arguments , you fill up two jars, one each time she is happy and one when each time he is happy

[Lift Lurker]

Mike, maybe your friends brother work in quality control and attended a Deming white bead / red bead experiment and got new idea that will change the world:

X times every year = Stable process = stable marriage.

[Mike]

No I think it is a more of a ying yang thing. He also asserts that a man hates his wife as much as he loves her.

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

Love or Hate are feelings. All feelings are transient. It is not possible to quantify love/hate nor to assert that one experiences it equally.

In any case, more than the feeling of love or hate, I would say most couples experiences longer periods where they just may not feel anything to the other. He does his things, she does her things. They live like room mates and even have sex when they have the urge. But, career, kids, society and just the condition called living get more attention.

[Mike]

To me , love is not a feeling, it is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing another's spiritual growth. It is a recpircol decision. It is a active continuous choice. It is about knowing and understanding the other person.

[grandpa aka Faye Libad aka fardel]

Love is something everybody looks for, everybody talks about , but which only a few lucky people find .
Fewer people are capable of keeping it and nurturing it.
So many people are so blind that they cannot see when it is there...

[Lift Lurker]

@Mike, interesting you say love is not feeling. I have heard this before. I do not disagree, but if love is not feeling, what do you call how you feel for your wife?

[Mahjuja]

Sheesh, it's not like it's Valentine's day or anything...but alas. Thank god for the smaller mercies, like something platonic as friendship.

[Vernette]

love makes me happy
love makes me beautiful
love makes me charming
love makes me treasure life, this life I have
love makes me want to be a better person
and love motivates me in ways that I'd never imagined possible

[Angela]

what is it about cows falling from the sky that makes people fall in love?

And where is Christy and Sej and Jason and Rika and Uli and the rest of the Jamlanders?

[Angela]

the most important thing I learned about love, I learned it from a taxi driver.

he was driving me to a client and we were chatting about the upcoming lottery draw, the grand prize has snowballed to $8.5M so everybody's buying tickets. He said he bought $1.50 tickets and I said I spent $15. Then he said, "you buy one ticket or you buy 100 tickets, if you win, only one number wins"

a statistician could argue about chance and probability at this point but let me just proceed with the story.

then he said, "you don't find luck, luck will find you"

then we arrived at my destination and I paid him and left.

but I carried his words inside my head. I thought, it is also the same with love. I thought I found love but actually love found me. Just because I was looking, I thought I found it. But it has always been inside of me too...

now I am just as confused as ever but I know for sure that love is something you only get if you give first.

I agree that feelings are transient, feelings are like one night stand, the next morning it's gone. And sometimes you can't even remember his name or how you came to be where you woke up.

Love to me is trust, respect, and admiration. It is the foundation of a lasting affection between humans.

[grandpa aka Faye Libad aka fardel]

Love is friendship....just one step further

[Lift Lurker]

Love to me is trust, respect, and admiration

This mean I love Uncle Jam!

It also mean I love Lifts.

I am confused.

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

@Mahjuja,

> "Remember to get married."
If they mean before leaving, don't.

> "Have you taken cooking lessons from your mom?"
Don't get cooking lessons; enjoy the food from a different country. Knowing just enough to introduce B'deshi food to your new friends should do.

> "Where and who are you staying with?"
Just tell them "I will find them after going there", and find them :o)

[Paul]

@Lift Lurker

No need to be confused.

If we are all one with the universe,

then Uncle N and lifts are one in the same... ;-)

[Ram]

@Mahjuja,

I know few women who are here doing PhD. They are married but are determined to continue their education. But, there is a lot of pressure from both the families to complete and come home soon. But, as you know, it takes time and needs focus and determination to reach the goal and such interruptions are always a problem.

Before marriage, they will keep insisting that and once married, they will insist to get kids and then there is very little chance to continue education.

Even in case of getting married, the spouse should have some job in the same place where you go to study and thats very difficult. Otherwise, there is no meaning in getting married and staying in different parts of the world.

[Mike]

Love is a williness to work at being a better person for your beloved.

Love is finding joy in the understanding of another.

Love is extending your ego to see yourself as part of a couple, family, or team.

The more you love the more you include others.

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

I think love has two versions, active (what Mike refers to) and passive (feeling).

Did I beat the accountants by writing that? :-p

[Angela]

love is a comedy of errors

[Paul]

I say its more errors than comedy though... ;-)

[Dinu]

Love is what my mother feels for me. And what I feel for my child. It makes me happy to give, give and give all along.

What I feel for my mother is probably just gratitude, obligation, admiration, trust and possibly addiction. I'm happy to give after having received.

[Will]

Just wondering...is it humanly possible to love two women at once?

[Angela]

Will, it is human to love. one or two? does it matter? the more the better. Love is love, no judgement.

[Ram]

Where there is a "Will", there is a way...

[Angela]

what does sej and TS have to say about luuuurve :)

heheheh....

[Lift Lurker]

I did some research and discover there are many many kind of love:

Darth Vader's love for Luke and Leia
Yoda's love for Luke
Solo's love for Chewbacka
Chewbacka's love for Solo
Solo's love for Leia
Luke's love for Leia (eew!)
Leia's foster parent love for her
Leia's love for the republic
Luke's love for Solo (ew!)
Luke's love for Darth vader
Luke's love for Obiwan
Obiwan's love for Luke
Obiwan's love for Yoda
Solo's love for Millenium Falcon
Emperor's love for the dark side
Accountant skywalker love for Amidala
etc etc there is no end to variation.

[Lift Lurker]

It is not Star Wars. It is Star Lovefest.

The Empire Loves Back.

[TS]

Sorry Angela, no profound thoughts or words come to me about the subject of love.
All I can say is that we have to learn to live with it, there's no cure...

[fardel]

Love is a bait to trap unconscious young people into getting married.
If love is a comedy of errors, marriage is a trial-and-error business which ends up mostly in trial.

One of the party always ends up being condemned

[Angela]

Love is the other four letter word that also gets you in trouble.

[mike]

The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.

[mike]

Trouble ahead photo

[Will]

Love is giving your all to someone or something...often not getting anything in return, but then again...you happily do all those sacrifices again and again...

[farah]

looks like love is in the air...

back in school we joked that love means "loss of valuable energy" :) now most of my friends are married, married with kids or engaged to their 'loved' ones.

[grandpa aka Faye Libad aka fardel]

@Farah
This is a good one ;
I am wondering why it was not is my library (°_°)

[Dinu]

The connection between cows falling from the sky and the thing called true love:

1)Both come unexpected
2)Both are rare happenings
3)Both can be fun but are more likely to cause hurt and damage
4)Both are good source of entertainment for other people.
5)I don't know which one is better, falling in love or having a cow fall on my head.

[Angela]

Love is in the air eh?

Since Mr. Jam is not updating, maybe Cougar Mama can give you an update.

The Cougar Diary: France's Best Strikes Again

This morning I was on my way to meet a client. At the train station I went to check the train map so I don't get lost. When I turned around a tall, dark, and handsome young man was behind. He smiled, I smiled. He must have caught a whiff of my super potent Chanel No.5, France's secret weapon of mass destruction. A single drop packs the destructive force of a hurricane.

I rushed through the turnstile, he was on the turnstile beside me. "hi! Where you going?" I pretended I didn't notice, I didn't look, ignored him and rushed on to my train platform which is still about 5 mins walk on my short strides. I was debating whether to text or call my client to inform him I will arrive 30 mins late.

There was heavy footsteps of someone running which is common during rush hour. Suddenly he was beside me, panting, he said "sorry to chase you, I am late for work but I just have to get your number" he fiddled with his blackberry while trying to catch his breath. "Why?" I asked a little sternly but I smiled. "Maybe we can catch up and get to know each other" he said and smiled.

"I want to introduce myself, I am Sean" he extended his hand. I don't usually do this but he has a very cute and sweet smile, he looked at me with puppy dog eyes, so I shook his hand and gave my name and number. I am guessing he is mid-20s and he's got a bad hand-shake, too loose, I prefer firm and confident grip. Looks of Indian descent but I might be wrong, and he speaks very neutral English, not singlish. Bonus points for him.

I expected him to turn around and walk to his train platform but he kept walking beside me. "let me call your number now" he said. I know smart guys do this to verify that you gave your number. I have given a pesky guy wrong number before and he chased me to my office. I told the receptionist to tell him I am not in the office. Creepy.

So Sean walked me to my train and probed about my dating life. I said I am single (conveniently omitted the Mama part) and he wanted to meet up later after work. Told him I can't because I have something on. The next days also not available. Two guys have asked me out this week but the honor went to an Aussie IT architect, older guy, and he is taking me out for dinner and dancing on Friday. If we have fun we might go out again on the weekend. The other one, an American yuppie, will have to take the next Friday and he have to move faster than the airport conveyor belt at LAX or he don't get any date from the cougar mama. So I don't know how I can squeeze the cougar boy into my social schedule.

But this young man is persistent. My train arrived and I left him with "let's see, maybe when I am free next time". I barely sat down when my phone buzzed, young man wants to know if we can chat since we are both on our way to work. I replied that I have to read something for my meeting, so maybe later. He relented and said he will disturb me later.

This isn't the first time a guy chased me just to get my number. Some time back a young and personable Dutch Professor followed me from the bookstore to my bus stop and introduced himself just as my bus arrived. He followed me into the bus and we talked a bit but I still did not give my number. Finally He gave me his business card and pressed the buzzer to get off the bus. He told me that lived in the opposite direction but got on my bus just to make connection before he lose his chance. I finally called him after 3 months. I saw him on TV being interviewed as political expert or something and was also talking about his book. We dated for about 4 months and I found out that he is an expert at dating 2 women at the same time. Both have long black hair, both of similar ancestry, one in Jakarta and one in Singapore. Now I fondly remember him as an expert a$$h0le.

Men!!! If you ignore him he chase you, if you give him attention he wants to chase someone else.

Man search, find, and leave.

Woman search, find, and buy.

***

[TS]

Love and the City

[grandpa aka Faye Libad aka fardel]

Grandma beware
You no longer have an office where you can hide.

[grandpa aka Faye Libad aka fardel]

would you consider hiring a body guard?
I know somebody strong, courageous, good looking, very smart who is looking for a job.

[sej]

Hooley Dooley!!

It feels like it took me forever to catch up on this thread, and that I haven't been here for a year!! (Too busy at work these past few weeks :-(

Now, "Love"...

What I find interesting, is many have this perception there is this single person out there who is perfect for us. Our "Soul Mate".

But consider... there are six billion people on this planet. That perfect person, could be any one of those six billion people.

What is the liklihood, of you ever actually meeting that one person?

So, we are left with two scenarios.

1. You never meet your soul mate, and you end up living with someone who is less than perfect;
2. There are multiple soul mates out there, and you could meet any number of them during your life. I will not elaborate on this option any further, due to the obvious and logical possibilities that ensue from the dichotomy of this idea - and those that would lead to my premature demise.

So, Option 1, it must be. (Hmmm.... perhaps my premature demise has been foretold somewhere, for I sense it coming regardless of which option I espouse)....

So, our partners, cannot be who we want them to be. We want our husbands to be tall, dark and handsome. Well, we get tall-ish, dark bags under the eyes, and handsome, well, if you exclude all the pock-marks on his face. We want our wives to be buxom, great cooks and handy with the vacumm cleaner. The reality - we dream of boob jobs, dinners out and working out how to get the kids to do the housework.

Either way, I end up coming back to the same rule: Life is either what you make of it, or what you let it make of you.

[mike]

Option 3

There is no such thing as a soulmate. And you have to make choices to forgo your needs and wants for someone else. And then you put in effort to listen, understand the other person, and decide together to work towards mutual goals and expectations sharing lifes ups and downs, joys and heartaches.

[fardel]

option 4
You ask for a "test drive" and ask for a refund if you are not happy.
Of course , you have thought about taking an extended guarantee insurance.

With over 6 billion possible soul mates, that will keep you busy for a lifetime, and keep insurance companies rich

[fardel]

Hey grandma
Aren't you talking about my messenger?

[Lift Lurker]

@sej, I think some mathematic refinement needed. 6 billion people:

- subtract 1 (you cannot be your own soulmate)
- subtract 2 (you cannot be your father and mother soulmate)
- subtract number of brothers sisters cousins
- divide by 2 (you cannot soulmate with same gender)
- organise age range in bell curve. remove those older than 90 yrs old
- subtract 4 (you cannot be soulmate with grandparents)
- subtract number of aunts and uncles

I think resulting number is manageable. You now have better chance of finding soulmate

Unless your soulmate is already dead, Then you have to find him/her among the 50 billion people who already departed.

[Angela]

After finding soulmate who is alive, what is the formula to compute the mathematical probability of actually meeting this soulmate?

[Angela]

Cougar Diary: Thursday, it's the shorts!

Eight o'clock I set out for a morning jog in the park accross from my apartment. This is only the second time I am running there. It is actually a reserved forested private neighborhood for old black and white colonial houses. I like to look at old things, including run -down houses and old people and dogs sunning in the driveway. 

Mornings mean maids walking the dogs and small children with sleepy eyes, still in pajamas and clutching pee-stained teddy bears. 

I usually walk briskly for half of the distance and start running back when I reach the other end of the road. Half way through my run my phone started ringing in my fanny pouch. I stopped to a walk and answered it. A friend just wanted to catch up and said she will visit me at home next week. Above my friend's high pitch chatter I heard low humming of a car behind and I sensed the driver must have slowed down because it is a narrow road with maids, dogs, children, and joggers like me meeting motorists every 10 meters or so. Still without looking behind me, I scooted over to the very edge of the road almost into the open canal, to let the car pass. But strangly it stayed behind me for about half a minute more before the grey BMW convertible finally emerged from my right side. The driver is a grey haired man, openly checking me out on his rear view mirror. Still listening to my friend's chatter, I raised my free hand and waved at him. I saw him smile and then drove off. So he had been enjoying my rear view as well, the old rascal. 
I pulled down my shorts a bit to cover the attraction, the free show is over!

I've seen this guy on my first day of jogging here but he just sped past me last tuesday. Probably late for work. 
I will be running again tomorrow morning if it is sunny and will trade my geeky specs for contacts. Mental note to swipe on deodorant before I step out tomorrow. Just in case the encounter will progress to exchanging numbers. 

***

[Lift Lurker]

If you think mathematical, the chance looks very small.

But think positive. Your soulmate is only 6 degrees of separation away.

Maybe first we need to prove that you are your soulmate's soulmate.

[grandpa aka Faye Libad aka fardel]

Humm
"I pulled down my short"
Isn't that showing more of .....?

[sej]

I want to know what these shorts are... I'm not sure they are, errr, shorts.

Any photos Angela? I think we need to debate this.

[Chamin]

Thought the same way as Fardel did :-p

[TS]

Are you using British or American English?

I'm just trying to work out if you wear your pouch at the back or front :-)

[fardel]

I challenge her to answer this one...

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

@Angela
remember you encountered a grey haired man earlier in the lift, who turned out to be a rich tycoon. Do you think it is the same guy checking on you again ? There seems to be pattern here with grey haired men. Think you have unresolved father issues. Spanking may help. Let us know if you need any volunteers to administer this for you.

And agree with Sej, require a photo to really understand this grave matter about your short shorts attracting the wrong attention. Do post photos with normal and after this "I pulled down my short" !

Have a great Friday all.

[Chamin]

@Karuna: great comment, we need to read posts like these to start a great Friday!

I'm waiting for the photos that Karuna suggested :o)

[V]

OOOOOooo I'm curious too... PHOTO PHOTO PHOTO!!

[Will]

Who loves short shorts...
We love short shorts..

[TS]

Someone mentioned 'entropy' the other day, it does look like the comments here follows the second law of thermodynamics.

[fardel]

some people were lucky that this big cow did not have any wings

http://www.wat.tv/video/taureau-fait-30-blesses-en-317hf_2exyv_.html

[Mike M]

Is it just me or does anyone else think they ought to give the piano player in Glee a line.

Come on guys give the man a bone.