China drops ban on baldies

 
And that’s just one of the topics in our postbag today

CHINA HAS DROPPED a ban stopping bald people entering. For years, smooth-headed folk have been prevented from getting entry visas to the mainland via the Taiwan-Xiamen route. But from now on, baldies get the same one-year multiple entry visas as hairy guys. Yay!

Why were dome-heads excluded? Mainland authorities said they believed it easier for bald people to disguise themselves. Huh?

 
     

I heard about this from Gilbert Wan. “I can’t work it out,” he said. “Most wigs are so bad that bald people find it impossible to disguise themselves.”

I agree. Wigs in Asia fool no one. A guy I pass on the way to work wears them. From studying him, I can confirm that there are only three possible “looks” for bald people.

1) Bald.

2) Bald with what looks like a small black cat nesting on your head.

3) Bald with a small black cat sliding off your head onto one ear.
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My postbag has been filled with strange tales lately, so I shall devote today’s posting to letters from readers.

Themiya Hurulle wrote to tell me he had advertized for a driver.

Along came a guy who had spent years transporting coffins in hearses during funerals.

“But I CAN drive fast, too,” he added with a smile.

Liking the guy’s sense of humor, Themiya gave him the job—and vast amounts of advice from the back seat, as is his habit.

The driver soon resigned. “Too much noise,” he explained. “I’m used to SILENCE from the back of the vehicle.”
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A reader named Bill wrote about home surgery: “The biggest problem I see with self-surgery is that when it all goes horribly wrong, who do you sue? I suppose you could sue yourself, but that would cost TWO sets of legal fees as you would undoubtedly also want to defend yourself.”
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Thomas Seifert pointed out that an eye surgery ad mentioned in this column featured a bespectacled doctor.

“Why would you buy an eye surgery kit from a guy with glasses?” he asked.

He added that he himself was close to a medical breakthrough. “I’m working on a 'Day After' contraceptive pill for men. Not sure how to go about it though. I might have to look into time travel.”

Later that day, he wrote again with some exciting news.

“I made a promise to myself that if was ever to invent time travel, I would return to this date and meet myself. I have just arrived from 2033 and have realized that there is a flaw in my calculations. One object, that is, me, cannot exist as two entities at the same time, meaning that the Thomas who wrote earlier today, has swapped places with me and now resides in 2033. He will probably be a bit confused, so I suggest that in 2033 you meet up with him and explain the situation.”
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A reader named Eric wrote with a question: “How do I set a laser printer to stun?” It’s easier than you think, Eric. Unplug it, pick it up with both hands, and throw it at the person you need to stun. It works like magic.
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Letter of the week comes from Peter Wong: “Many people say I am schizophrenic, but I’m convinced that I’m not, and so am I.”

It was signed: “Peter Wongs”.
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This photo (below) was sent to my by Guy Chambers – a frequent traveller to mainland China based in Hong Kong. It shows a pair of happy kids he met in Inner Mongolia. Nice smiles, pity about the t-shirt.


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I stumbled on this picture of Vernette, one of our frequent commentators, on the Internet. She has a nice blog, too, worth a visit, just here.


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Technorati Tags: bald,china,bad wigs

Comments

[Dancer Arroyo]

Vernette, stunning smile!

[Vernette]

I'm flattered, Nuri.
And thank you, Dancer.

[farah]

after today's post i think fardel is going to drop dead or he's already dead (no comments from him so far)

Vernette, you're very pretty:)

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

How is it that all the women commentators on this blog so absolutely beautiful !!!

Nury is so bald.

Serious thinking...how does one become bald ? Does one need to undergo some medical treatment to reach this status.

[Dinu]

That letter from the Wongs is so funny. I laugh everytime I read it. Can we have more of those?

[farah]

@ Karuna

you dont need a special potion to become bald. either it's heredity or just the case of losing more hair than necessary. anyone know how to stop hair fall?

[grandpa aka Faye Libad aka fardel]

@ farah
are you so jealous that you post this comment?
I am just speechless.
If we were to start a competition between you girls , giving equal points to
Beauty
Wit
Intelligence
Looks,
We would have only .................... winners ( I would like to know which male commentator would tell me wrong)

Uncle Nury
why are you silent?
Grandma..
Still toreroing??????

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

I think we are all set to have a beauty contest for this blog. But then, how do we call the winner? "Miss Jam?" O_o

[farah]

jealous?? who? me??????

i have learnt to appreciate beauty (both male and female). i'll only be jealous if the guy i like starts talking about other females. that's in our genes. girls are envious by nature.

[Nury]

Hi people, from time to time I get calls or comments or emails from people who tell me that "the gang" are figments of my imagination and there could not possibly exist a "comment tribe" of people who were all so brilliant and witty and good-looking as you lot.

People think I have "invented" you all!

I must admit, when I look at the column of faces on the right hand side of this page, it really does look like a group of professional models.

Perhaps you ARE all figments of my imagination.

As for picking the prettiest girl/ boy, fardel, I don't think it's possible.

The girls are all perfect 10s as far as I am concerned.

It's only the weird bald guy at the top who could never be mistaken for model. Sigh.

[farah]

Uncle Nury...you're a role model for all of us here, which is better than a model :)

[Jason]

I think Angela is going to start getting envious of the attention drifting to others. ;) I know who I'd vote for, but I am biased!

[TS]

In 2027 we experienced the first harvest ever to exclusively yield seedless watermelons.

In 2028 watermelons was extinct...

[Dinu]

About Figment of Imagination:

A priest and his student were sitting in a hall. The priest was explaining to the junior fellow that limitations exist only in the mind.

“No river is too wide to cross over, no mountain too high to climb, no problem that didn’t have a solution. We only had to believe, then we can do it. All negative feelings, such as fear, anger, scorn, etc are mostly creations of our own minds, ie, figments of our imagination….”
As he was explaining away, a stray mad dog enters the hall and starts charging towards the priest. The priest gets scared. He stands up from his chair and runs away while the student grabs the chair he was sitting on and throws it at the dog. The chair hits the dog and it falls down senseless. Later….

Priest : so where were we?
Student : all fear and negative emotions are merely figments of our imagination?
Priest : yes, did you understand that, son?
Student: I have a question. You know this too. So why did you run away when the dog charged?
Priest : Who said I ran away
Student : I saw you run away
Priest : Son, that was a figment of your imagination.

[Vernette]

Wow, half a day at HKCEC and I'm missing all these!! Aiyaaa!!
OK Boys and girls, I AM just a figment of imagination! (wooooo~~~ I kinda like the idea)

[Vernette]

And, with regards to this topic about baldies, I've always wondered, pardon me, this means no offense whatsoever:

When I get to the forehead while washing my face, I have the hairline as a guide as to where I should stop rubbing the cleanser. But, for one who has receding hairline or simply bald, where exactly do you stop? How do you know where to stop? How far up the forehead is the scalp?

Honestly, I've raised this question. Ppl just laughed and then changed the subject... So I'd never really had a real answer... Anyone??

[Mahjuja]

Do bald men bother to use face wash?

[TS]

Hair for hair, bald men are the group that uses the most face wash.
As our hair line slowly recedes, our consumption of face wash increases in direct proportion.
It just sneaks up on you, suddenly you find your self going through a bottle a day.

You would then think we could cut back on the shampoo.

No such luck, while it's called a "receeding" hair line, a "migrating" hair line would be more acurate.
As the years go by you realise that you got hairy chest, back and shoulders not to mention the hairs on your toes and knuckles.

Washing your hair have become a full body wash.

[fardel]

In France, bald men use shoe shine.

[Mike]

My brother jokes on me that my forehead has become a fivehead. My question is under hair color on a driver's license what to bald people put?

[Mahjuja]

The color of their body hair?

[Christyn]

My sister once had a schizoprenic classmate who was told by his commerce teacher that he had failed his test. He saw that on the front page all the answers were wrong except the last one. The teacher told him that he failed his test but he replied ''no, the last one is correct that means I passed.'' (didn't make sense). Later, one of his friends asked why he said that to the teacher and he replied '' Yea, because I failed.'' This same fellow also beat up another classmate of his full-bloodied on one schizoprenesday and the next moment was seen chasing children around playing police and thief. Dear God, I hope my sister isn't making this character up with my face on it.

[sej]

Remember, "9 out of 10 bald men are..." Now, where's that razor??

Oh, What? I'm that 1 in 10??

Bugger.

[kartini]

@dinu: your story reminds me of a warped version of 'The Matrix".

@vernette: I think they use the coronal suture as a guide. Otherwise, they'd just wash everything at one shot! The plus side of being bald is that they don't need to buy shampoo. Think of the millions saved!