Underage Facebook users

Should you let your kids or junior siblings sign up?

MILLIONS OF PARENTS worldwide are wrestling with a super-tough problem, your humble narrator included.

“Daddy, can I have a Facebook page?” my child asked.

I had been rehearsing the head-shake and the negative response (extremely hard for dads to give to daughters). “No, darling, you’re not old enough.”

Her big damp eyes instantly grew to the size of the moons of Jupiter. “But all my friends have one. I’ll be the ONLY ONE left out,” she wailed.

Aiyeeaaah! What to do? Facebook, a site that creates a personalized web forum for everyone who signs up, is officially restricted to people aged 13 plus.

But millions of younger children are on it.

A quick survey showed that almost every kid I knew had a page.

Toddlers have their own pages.

New-born babies have their own pages.

It’s only a matter of time before a sperm sets up a Facebook account on his way to the ovum (status line: “Got up early, washed my hair, hoping today’s the day me and some cute egg become a zygote”).
*
That night I had a brainwave triggered by severe substance abuse (the ingestion of a three-alarm curry with extra-spicy XO sauce).

The next morning, I told my youngest daughter that I would set up a Facebook account which I would SHARE with her. She could give it her name but anything posted on it would be copied to my email address.

The plan worked brilliantly. At first.

She logged on, and became “Facebook friends” with her classmates. She was happy. I was happy.

Then she approved a Facebook friend request from someone claiming to be pop star Miley Cyrus.

I deleted it and gave her a stern lecture.

“The real Miley Cyrus is too busy to be your friend. THIS Miley Cyrus is almost definitely a deranged, 200-kilo, gun-toting Texan truck driver with halitosis and a wart on the end of his nose.”

She replied: “But I LIKE truck drivers.” (Kids really don’t get it.)

But she promised to be suspicious of people with the names of celebrities.

Everything went smoothly again.

Until this week. She and her gang discovered the message function.

On the day before wring this column, I received an automated email from Facebook which had 75 words on it, most of which consisted of disclaimers and links.

But the actual communication transmitted in the email consisted of a single word. “Teehee”. This was one of my daughter’s classmates expressing a humorous sound.

Then I received another 75-word email ushering in another one-word sentence. “yeah!!!!” it said. A few minutes later, a third one arrived. It said: “exactly”.

This morning, I opened my email box. There were seventeen emails in it, forwarded automatically from small children using Facebook. They said things like: “LOL” and “ROFL” and “woohoo” and so on. The nearest these kids get to a whole sentence is “Wassup.”

These days I sit here pining for “Miley Cyrus”, the 200-kilo gun-toting Texan truck driver.

I miss him. At least he could manage a two-word sentence.
*
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Technorati Tags: facebook kids,facebook,kids

Comments

[fardel aka Faye Libad aka grandpa]

"She replied: “But I LIKE truck drivers.”
We do too......

(Kids really don’t get it.)"

They do too.

[Elena]

I agree, fardel kids DO get it.

Remember this post, about seeing through the eyes of a child?
http://mrjam.typepad.com/diary/2009/02/through-the-eyes-of-a-child.html

[Mahjuja]

@fardel, one of these days, we'll even have our own sitcom, 'Everybody loves Angela'. He he.

[Lift Lurker]

This one word communication is of course copied from Lift way of communication.

Because politeness is rule in lift, people know they should keep quiet. They practice minimum communication.

When you see a friend in the crowded lift: [nod]
Reply: [nod]

Or: Hey
Reply: Hey

Or: [smile]
Reply: [smile]

Or: Morning
Reply: Morning

When you leave lift: cya!
Reply: ta

Or: Later
Reply: yep

When someone bugs you: [roll eyes]
Reply: Exactly

You dont need so many words.

Compare with flying on plane.

You are watching movie then the sound get interrupted:

"This is your captain speaking. Just want to let you know we are cruising at 25,000 feet. Traveling at 600 miles per hour. Air temperature outside is 10degrees...(10 other useless information)... I'll let you go back to your movie now"

Does anyone really stick out their hand out the plane to see if temperature outside is 10 degrees?

What is the use of that information?

If the captain said: "The capital of Tajikistan is Dushanbe" instead of telling us the temperature outside, that is more useful information.

[Sabrina]

But I wonder why kids want to have a Facebook account. Is it the games and applications that attract them?

(That's a reason my 9-year-old younger sister wanted to have one, but she shares the account with me anyway.)

[fardel]

@ Elena
Thank for bringing up this post, which brought so many memories.

It is friday morning, 5:30 am.
today will be  a very long day;;
I just "inherited" 14 employees, which my competition offered me to handle.
The whole weekend will be spent in management meetings, staff meetings , in reassuring, in reorganizing..in short, a boss's job.
Which I have been avoiding , and dreaded for years.
I have three days to have the operation running at full speed with three airlines to handle , with the small objective of making air travel a good experience to more that 200 thousand passengers a year.
As every day at this time:
I prepare a cup of cocoa ( not the one from the super market , the raw one from the old lady in the wet market ), the cocoa which has to be grated and boiled to a good  , warm comforting energy drink, the drink of the Aztec emperors.

In the meantime, i sit down in front of those columns.(There is nothing as good as Mr Jam' columns to get the day  started ); 
It is as good as a warm croissant dipped in a cup of coffee.

This post, http://mrjam.typepad.com/diary/2009/02/through-the-eyes-of-a-child.htm
is a memorable one for me;
This is where and when a "complicity " was born between Uncle Nury, and wonderful Angela
(Hey Angela, do not jump to conclusions....recognizing your qualities is not close to an engagement!?)

I just finished reading  it over and again.

Yes, definitely this was one of the best columns, one which will stay with us for a good while

In these colmumns at that time, I commented about my next visit to Hong Kong,
I did visit Hong Kong:
did I get locked up for acting like a kid?
No
Why?
Because I was not up to my promises.
Did I dance in the rain?
No I just spent  over three hours walking in the rain in  Mongkok , at night, making pictures of the Hong Kong crowd , doing Umbrella clashdance at traffic lights

Did I invite Uncle Nury to eat a lollypop in front of HKCEC?
No, we only shared an ordinary camembert with french baguettes on  a roof garden in Central, with some of the gang

Did I take a ferry to go nowhere and back?
Yes , once in day time and once at night.
Was it fun ?
Yes
Was I alone?
No
We were numerous to share the experience, and we had a good time, all of us, tourists ,especially for the symphony of lights tour, when rain started and we were too numerous on the front deck of the old star ferry

Then  I did it again , on a smaller launch with uncle Nury and the gang in Aberdeen

Did I take a trip to go somewhere and back?
Yes I did , twice and it was to the Peak, once in a packed tram , once in the top front seat of a double decker bus, ducking the branches when going up the hill ( mountain?!)

Then, there was dinner in the middle of an alley, with Uncle Nury and more of the gang ( this has been widely reported in these columns
There was  lunch with cousin Karuna  and Stella, where they had fun watching me try to catch cashew nuts and seaweed salad with chop sticks.

Then I stopped a few times in Ma Wan ( Park  Island ) watching  ladies , walking their "babies" in double decker  baby carriages  and picking up the poo they had left ( the dogs , not the ladies) on  the walkway, or washing the trees after their pudues, Labrador , Irish setters  had "watered "them.

As you may have guessed I did not stay in a towered hotel , but instead chose a hotel on the deck of a boat ( which hopefully will never have to float) in Ma Wan , shuttling with a ferry to Central.

My visit to Hong kong was great and beyond my expectations.

So
What's next ?
If I survive this new challenge of playing boss, in two years I shall stop in Singapore, with maybe a stopover if Dakha is not too much out of the way..
Hey again , Angela, do not make plans , I shall take along my watchdog of a daughter.....

Sorry, Lift Lurker ; calling me grandpa is still inappropriate....

[Mike]

Do you know how important it is to a nine year old that someone they know acknowledges their existance? That it is important cause it is written down?
That it is true, cause it is on "The Internet"

[Mahjuja]

@Fardel And what is it that beckons u to Dhaka?

[fardel]

Wondering

[farah]

i have seen babies having facebook account and replying to right after birth pics with 'ohh thank you aunt. That's so sweet of you. I hope you stay this sweet when i grow up'

hellooo?? Kids 5mins old cant talk!!

Even worse creating an account for their pets or even stuffed animals!

[Elena]

Fardel, I love your long comment above, what a classic.

[Lift Lurker]

Congratulation on the new boss role Grand-pere. I am sure you will be a great one.

[fardel aka Faye Libad aka grandpa]

Thank you all for comforting me
The fun is over, I am turning into a full fledged adult.
sigh !
But on a positive note..
I am still single...
whow!

[Mahjuja]

@fardel, just thought I'd repeat an appreciated suggestion I once made to a man in charge of some novices- make their inexperience work to your advantage. I guess that's like jitsu, where you use the opponent's weakness to your advantage. ;-)

[fardel]

@Mahjuja
thank for the suggestion.
The job does not give me a problem. i just lost the habit of having lot of kids around.

[Mahjuja]

@ fardel, yeah, but think of the possibilities...you might be able to convince them that making you coffee is part of their job description or something. Ref: Vittachi, Nury; 2009/01. "The seven stages of office life."

;-)

P. S. you do understand that I've been joking, the first incident was a joke too.

[farah]

i already feel making tea/coffee is part of my job description since i have to make it every time i need reports from one of my dept colleagues.

any suggestions on how to dump the coffee on his head the next time he asks in trade of the report?

[Dinu]

Facebook has been blocked in Bangladesh.
FYI.

[farah]

lol... i knowwww!!

that's the only news that got people to read the paper.

[Mahjuja]

@farah Have you ever checked out the harassment policies at your office...

If there are, then you're in luck. And,

if there aren't, then search high and low for other things you can exchange instead of tea or coffee, create hostages to exchange...

Or make coffee/tea for the right person, the person who can promote you above or away from the guy who makes trades for coffee/tea.

Or (a light bulb just flashed) do what they used to do in the olden days. Now this is a true story! My dad says, his uncle (mama) who was in the police force seemed to have attracted an inspector or officer-in-charge who would frequently come to his police-post or station for inspections (probably took a liking to the food in the banquet they HAD to serve whenever he came). So one day, my dad's uncle thinks, enough is enough, no more mister nice guy- he prepares the feast but adds a little extra garnishing (local laxative herb). The guy comes, but has to leave in an ambulance. The guy never comes back after that- kinda reminds you of the 'Last Supper' doesn't it? Only in this case it's almost the 'Last Supper' ;-)

[Mahjuja]

Now I feel like I'm part of a great Asian tradition- experiencing websites bans and all. From my observation among peers, colleagues and all the people i know in general, a lot of people in Bangladesh are probably going through FB withdrawl symptoms at this moment.

[kartini]

Thought that these were funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRsRLZiyH20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SgkfghupFE

[kartini]

this is the continuation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqCOFcOZBNA

cracks me up all the time!

[Dinu]

@Farah,
I thought making tea/coffee for a colleague at work was a reciprocal thing.

I make it when the boss is on his side. He makes it when the boss is on my side.

@Mahjuja,
There is only one harassment policy: Either you harrass or you be harrassed. Conditions apply.

Sorry..harrbutt, harbutted...gosh i miss facebook.

[fardel]

@Madjuja

There are three kinds of people
- the ones who hang on a string:they are called puppets and bend down when ordered to.
- the ones who hold the strings :they are called manipulators and enjoy satisfaction by pushing puppets around
Most of the time , they are tyrants

-the ones who are neither of the above:
no string attached
Those enjoy a greater pleasure called freedom.
But it comes at a price

Trust me
the last one is really the best choice

NO STRING ATTACHED

[Mahjuja]

@fardel mon chere grandpere, qu'est que c'est? Why this advice for me all of a sudden? Je ne comprendre pas.

[tamanna]

proxy servers are up btw..so u can log into facebook with those..

[fardel]

Whow

somebody speaking French .at last..............

[farah]

i showed the harassment ideas to my colleague and was almost short of a beating. according to him if anyone should get a harassment charge that's me.

hey fardel maybe you should start a separate blog and teach us french. that would be a good refresher.

[Maharlika]

truck drivers again? i WANT TO SEE LIFT LURKER'S FACE!

[fardel]

@ Farah
Spilling the coffee , preferably hot in his crotch will do.

Once will be enough.

"Excusez -moi" is all you need to tell him

[Mahjuja]

@farah, girl, u still talkin? put that little something extra in the coffee! What r u waitng for!?

Or maybe u have the nerve to do what fardel just said?

@ fardel, I ask in french, and u still don't give me an explanation? :-(

[fardel]

@ Mahdjuja
I started to make an answer to your comment about your reference to old posts , but I removed it by accident.
That's why your name stayed there.

My comment was just a thought which I wanted to address to people in general, and Farah in particular.

[Mahjuja]

@fardel, now it makes sense, u were telling farah to be her own boss so she wouldn't have to make coffee for anyone but herself. :-) Good one!

So, post the answer that u removed by accident! i want to see.

Plus, I just noticed this new function in my browser by google, every word my cursor rests on, is being automatically translated into many languages, including french.

[farah]

hey fardel and mahjuja,

thanks so much for the wonderful advices. c'est magnifique. i got a kick out of it honestly especially dropping coffee on the crotch part. poor chap will be getting married soon so let's not scare his wife :)

apart from that he's a sweet person and almost very like my older bro who would do just about anything to make my life hell. coming to work sometimes can be a torture but i got some wonderful people here who makes it easy and fun.

[Mahjuja]

@farah So, my hunch was correct abt you having a rather jousting relationship with your colleague, either that, or he also reads this column! ;-) Haha

[farah]

i made him read the nice things i wrote about him so he can give me a treat in Mainland China. i also threatened to drop the coffee cup as well. let's see how it goes.

[Mahjuja]

@ farah Way to go! Keep it up.

[Grandpa aka Faye Libad aka Fardel]

@Mahdjuja

Playing with fire!
What kind of advice is that?

And i was not telling Farah to be her own boss.
I was just telling that one's dignity, is found in one's freedom, and freedom is not the same without dignity
When you accept to be ordered around by "manipulators", you start loosing this dignity.
For a modern woman ,it is a precious value

Hey Angela ( can you help me on this one ( I got two teenagers who need guidance from a modern wise woman(°_°)
i remember now the comment I owe you

When you refer to good old posts,I go back and read them.
It is like opening a photo album .
thanks

[sej]

I swear I heard the guy at the end of a show on TV tonight say...

"Follow us online, Facebook or Twitter"

So where are Facebook and Twitter if they're not online?

Perhaps those who are too young to use Facebook are those how actually truly understand it.

[Mahjuja]

@fardel what's with the extra 'd' in Mahjuja?

And I totally understand what you're saying, that's why, if you remember, I have an aversion to the idea of marriage...If someone black-mails you into doing stuff at work, u can quit, but why bother with the hassles of divorce?

[Angela]

Liberte' sans dignite'?

I dont know.

What I know is that the world is full of different people with different attitudes and we all have the right to exist, sometimes not peacefully, but such is life. All are born into the world equal but the world doesnt always treat us equally. At the beginning of each day I ask my God to give me the strength to change that which I can change, the humility to accept that which I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. PS, Lord, dont let me kill anyone at work either. Amen!

[Grandpa aka Faye Libad aka Fardel]

@Mahjuja
Sorry for the d (maybe i was distracted)
Welcome to the club ( single forever)

@Angela
Whatever you say, everybody know you are a killer (but you are smart , you aim at the hearts , and break them in no time...
No mercy.)

[Mahjuja]

@ Fardel that's how it should be (your comment abt Angela the killer). It's Darwin theory survival of the fittest, kill or be killed.