How to have a Filipino name

 
In this country, your nickname says a lot about you

I SEE NOYNOY is emerging as the clear winner of the Presidential elections in the Philippines. This is no surprise. How could he fail with such a cute name?!

I wish I was called Noynoy, or Pingpong, or anything Filipino.

Noynoy’s main opponent was Joseph Estrada, whose nickname is Erap, or “pare” (a word meaning “buddy”) spelt backwards. How naff is that?

And if you think Noynoy is a cool, offbeat name, his sisters’ names include Pinky, Viel and Ballsy (pic at the top).
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The people of the Philippines probably have the most creative names on the planet. I love visiting friends from Manila and being introduced to their children. “Meet Tingting, Popo, Testament, Peachy, Boris, Mary-Concepcion and Dogong.” (Every name has a story.)

And it’s not just the kids.

The first time I went to the country, I was introduced to a woman who looked about 200 years old.

“Call me Baby,” she said.

So I did. It wasn’t difficult.

But I also met a middle-aged fat guy who wanted me to call him by his given name, which was “Honey Babe”.

I found that WAY harder to do, especially in public.

I gave the guy what I hoped was useful advice. “If you ever find yourself in a rough tough part of the world, like redneck southern USA or Queensland in Australia, places where the guys have names like ‘Killer’ and ‘Deathmetal’, don’t ask them to call you ‘Honey Babe’.”

(This information will probably save his life.)
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Residents of the Philippines have a wonderful way of picking up bits of visiting cultures and making them their own.

Noynoy’s full name has six elements: Benigno Simeon Noynoy Cojuangco Aquino III. The parts are, in order, Spanish, Hebrew, Filipino, Chinese, Italian and American (“the third”).
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The last time I was in Manila, I asked local people to tell me how their acquired their names. They told me there were four main categories.

1. There’s the group known as “doorbell names”.

These include Bing, Bong, Binky, Ding, Dong, Pingping, Ting, Tek-Tek, Bong-bong, Tong and so on. Recently, some of the Bing-Bings have renamed themselves Bing2 or Bing Squared to sound more sophisticated.

2. Kid labels.

These are not really names, but just nouns used as names. Baby or Girlie for girls, and Sonny or Boy for boys.

3. Religious names.

In the past, there were loads of names such as Maria-Concepcion. These days such names are often cut down to Mari-Con, which sounds like a US multinational. There’s probably someone called Con-Edison in that country.

Jejomar is a name made up of the first few letters of Jesus, Joseph and Mary.

4. Nouns as names.

There’s a congressman called Ace Barbers, which sounds like a chain of hairdressers to me. Ace is his middle name, but he as to use it since he, his father and both his brothers are called Robert.

The wonderfully named archbishop of Manila, Cardinal Sin, died in 2005, sadly. His parents had a great sense of humor. Sin Junior’s first name was Jaime which means “I Love”.  (“I love sin”, geddit?)

He used to invite people home with the words, “Welcome to the House of Sin.”
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See if you can work out the items on the menu below. If so, you can speak Taglish, one of the main languages of the Philippines.

 
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Technorati Tags: funny philippines,filipino,wit,humor,jokes,noynoy,ballsy

Comments

[Jason]

Ballsy sound more like the name of a Thai ladyboy.

Recently I used the Brit goodbye, 'ta-ta' on my Filipina sister-in-law. When she asked me what did that mean, I asked, why does that mean something in your language? ;)

[farah]

what is putlong?

[Ram]

Putlong - footlong

http://www.hahacommercials.com/embed/videos/subway-five-dollar-footlong.jpg

@Nury... I still remember you made some fun about very strong Filipino men having cute name like "Angel" in one of the Readers' Digest article...

Here is a view from a Filipino about using nicknames
http://www.ilovehateamerica.com/a_filipino_immigrants_lov/2008/07/stupid-filipino.html

[Visitor]

I can work out the Taglish but I cannot work out the Tag-Math:

Add $5 to have Chiz on your Hamen Egg.

However, add $3 to have Chiz on your burjer w/egg.

Finally, add $4 to have Chiz on your Egg Sanwits.

How much does Egg cost? $7 if you add on Hamburjer, but only $6 if you add on Hamen Chiz.

[Chamin]

Visitor, thanks for pointing out the Tag-math. Both funny and puzzling :o)

This is still less confusing that how financial sector people manage to sell bad debt to other people (how can one sell something that has a negative monetary value?).

[Jason]

Read aloud for best results (and some semblance of comprehension). This was nominated "best email of 1997".

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review...

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS:"San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
'judo one toes 'means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G: "You're welcome"

http://www.basicjokes.com/djoke.php?id=176

[Dancer]

@Jason,

I read it twice and I still don't get 'honey sigh'. What is it?

[Jason]

on the side

[farah]

lol...

[Lift Lurker]

So if we are all Filipinos, what would be our Filipino names?

NurNur?
Farfar? (Fardel and Farah)
Anan?
Jayjay?
Dandan?
Karkar
Chamcham?
Sejsej?
TSTS?
Chrischris?
Ramram?

[Angela]

There is a politician, a former senator named Joker Arroyo, yes, his father was fond of card games. And this Joker named his child Joker Jr.

*

Filipino names:

By the power vested upon me by the Republic of the Philippines, I hereby Filipinize you:

Nury - Joseng Banunu
Fardel - Faye Lipad
Lift Lurker - Boy Elebetor
Jason – Jay2 Tondo
Karuna - Kaye Moreno
Sej – Amanda Huggenkiss
Dancer - Dancer Arroyo
Christy - Maria Christeta Cassandra Conception Cuneta Jr.
Chamin – Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus, III
TS – Tomas Sipert
Ram – Jose Ramoncito Boncato Alcantara IV

You may now go in peace and multiply

[Chamin]

> G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
This made me laugh until my colleague wanted to know what happened :-p

I like both "ChamCham" and "Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus,III" :o)

[Liza A Samad]

@Angela: LOL, cute~! But you forgot to Filipinize yourself too.

[Elena]

This is hilarious, the comments even funnier than the post, by the way, do you know, jason, that the column about room service "rune sorbees" comes from nurys old column at the far eastern economic review? So it has gone full circle.....

[Angela]

Just call me Maria Virginia Angela Sin ;)

or Vig Sin for short.

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Jason, the hotel is in Hanoi?
Sounds like my friend Do The Dung on the phone

[Ram aka Jose Ramoncito Boncato Alcantara IV]

@Jason,

This reminds me a stand-up comedy from Mr.Bean famous Rowan Atkinson...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-yW4KlowMo

@Angela...Oh, I love this name...

[Jason]

This was Nury's old column? I got this email working in Kansas 10 yrs ago. Funny who life works.

Angela, as to going forth and multiplying, I think the Filipino's got that covered pretty well. Their like bunnies in heat!

[Chamin]

Despite all posts by Nury and others about kids, I'm seriously looking forward to multplying :-p

[gobbledygook]

lol...filipinos are funny and pun-loving people. if they can't express themselves in english, they create their own.

[Christy]

I don't want conception anywhere in my name, thank you. LOL

The towns have weird names, too. I was told that there's a town called Sexmoan...Do you think we'd find a lot of Conceptions there? :-S

[Christy]

http://pin-k-oy.blogspot.com/2008/11/on-weird-filipino-names.html

More weird Filipino names! Some parents have named their kid "idiot", "twenty" etc...

[Yvonne Robles]

Hi there!
Just to point out that the names of Noynoy sisters' 3 out of 4 were all mentioned from above article, except for the youngest one who among them is the most famous controversial, host, commercial model and actress in the Philippines, "Krissy"!

[Angela]

Bunnies in heat Jason? Is that from your personal experience? ;-)

[Mike]

My favorite filipino name I heard is my friends whose last name is Juan named his kids Annie and Avery.

[Mahjuja]

Hey Angela do my name too. People here seem to think my name is fake anyways so they might start calling me by my fillipino name. :D

[TS]

@Jason

I have been looking for that email for years (not hard enough apparently).
I first got it as an email doing the rounds in the ex-pat community in Singapore in 1998 (before joke emails got annoying).

I lost it when my Amiga drew her final sigh back in 2002, but have thought of it many times when reading Uncle Nury's books and blog.

[Dancer]

@Angela

Love the name. I guess my first name is Filipino enough so there's no change. Cool.

[Jason]

Angela, I don't know from personal personal experience, but when visiting her hometown last year after meeting the 500th person, I said, wait let me guess, another cousin.

TS, I remembered that story because tendjewberrymud became my way of saying thanks, and people always gave me the raised eyebrow and so I was forced to explain myself...again and again.

[Nury]

These comments are hilarious, thank you, I have tears in my eyes reading them.

The "room service" conversation above HAS been quoted in my columns a few times over the years, in print and then on the Internet, but I didn't originate it.

The guy who wrote it was a US guy called Shelly Berman. (I like to give credit where credit's due.)

[Jason]

Ah nuts, there goes an interesting story to tell.

[Angela]

Round two:

Mahjuja - Maria Juleena Jalimao
Farah - Fatimah Rahsul
Mike: Mimi

*corrections:
TS: Toto Sibuyas

*

ok lah, naw aimusgowork ha!

[Chamin]

Dancer>

DanDan is not bad either :o)

[Nury]

Angela, I love your list -- so intriguing. Can you translate some of them for us?

For example, i get the joke for lift lurker and I love the new names for Christy and Jason and Ram and others, but there are some I can't work out. Like fardel, Mahjuja, YS, Farah and myself.

Some clues please!

Nury - Joseng Banunu
Fardel - Faye Lipad
Lift Lurker - Boy Elebetor
Jason – Jay2 Tondo
Karuna - Kaye Moreno
Sej – Amanda Huggenkiss
Dancer - Dancer Arroyo
Christy - Maria Christeta Cassandra Conception Cuneta Jr.
Chamin – Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus, III
TS – Tomas Sipert
Ram – Jose Ramoncito Boncato Alcantara IV
Mahjuja - Maria Juleena Jalimao
Farah - Fatimah Rahsul
Mike: Mimi
TS: Toto Sibuyas

[fardel]

@Jason
as to going forth and multiplying, I think the Filipino's got that covered pretty well. Their like bunnies in heat!

That is not true
recently,I met an un Fortuna te one who fails to do that.
Maybe you could help .

Warning, rabbits make a few babies in one "shot"

@ Angela
Why are you so rude with Christy:
Miss Conception ?!?

[fardel]

@Angela
I like the sound of my new name, but what does it mean?

Angela' filipino name :
Mag Andang Halo Halo Jeepney

[Christy]

@ Nury

I think I get the one for Farah. Angela split the sounds...Fa for Fatima (prophet's daughter) and Rah for Rahsul (the messenger) :)

[Angela]

Here’s the translation, courtesy of babel fish (is that site still up? I remember using it in the 90s to impress a gentleman that I speak French)

Nury - Joseng Banunu
* José de la Cruz, more popularly known as "Huseng Sisiw", was one of the great Filipino writers during the Spanish regime.

Fardel - Faye Lipad
*Lipad means to Fly (like an airplane, hello?!)

Lift Lurker - Boy Elebetor
*self explanatory

Jason – Jay2 Tondo
* Tondo is a district of Manila, Philippines. The locale has existed prior to the arrival of the Spanish and are known to be tough. You don’t wanna mess with them.

Karuna - Kaye Moreno
*Just because it sounds like the name of a popular starlet, a porn star 

Sej – Amanda Huggenkiss
*Need you ask? Actually I stole this name from Bart Simpson, this is the name he gives when he calls Moe’s Bar.

Dancer - Dancer Arroyo
*Just coz I like the sound of it. Cute, isn’t it? If she has a sister it will be Prancer Arroyo

Christy - Maria Christeta Cassandra Conception Cuneta Jr.
*Conception is unintentional, this is the name of one very beautiful and very popular young artist, musician, etc. Consider it a compliment 

Chamin – Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus, III
*That’s just so sexy 

TS – Toto Sibuyas
*Toto is short form of Tomas and Cebollas is Spanish for onion, I like it fried as toppings for stir fry

Ram – Jose Ramoncito Boncato Alcantara IV
*No reason apart from that Ram is short for Ramon

Mahjuja - Maria Juleena Jalimao
*Hello?! Read the first two letters of each name

Farah - Fatimah Rahsul
*She was my neighbor, very pretty, with tantalizing eyes. And the first syllables of each name, as Christy explained.

Mike: Mimi
*An affectionate version of Mike

Now that you have decoded the system of Filipino Names, go in peace and sin no more.

[Jason]

Fardel, have no fear we have no problem practicing, but the breeding like rabbits part I have under control for the near future!

[Faye Lipad]

Wow
I understand now why Angela needs to drive a truck:
This is the only vehicle big enough to carry her knowledge

[Mahjuja]

@ Angela, I understood what u did the moment I saw my fillipino name, it was great fun! If I ever need an alias, now I know what to do. ;-)

And u made it a difficult one like my real name, he he I like my name because if some guy I don't like askses for my name, I mention the harder one (Mahjuja, my first name) it's an easy way to get rid of them. If they can't get your name they can't really impose on your attention by calling u.
:-)

[Faye Lipad]

@ Mahjuja
What about some picture?

@Jason
I bet that you did not share may comment with with who-you-know !
You,Rascal

[Christy]

Unintentional conception is scary, Angela @_@

[Amanda Huggenkiss]

"Amanda Huggenkiss"... I Love It!!

When you first read it, you go "What!!???!!", but it quickly dawns on you.

But!! What's this "go in peace and sin no more."?? I want to sin much more, I don't do it nearly as much as I ought to. Otherwise, I was going to suggest simply "Go in Sin", but then I thought, that could have other connotations :-)

[Karuna a.k.a. Kaye Moreno]

@Angela, may you multiply. The world needs more of you.

[Mahjuja aka Maria Juleena Jalimao]

Jeez, with all these sudden requests for a pic, I feel the expectations mounting. Maybe I should hire a glamour magazine photographer and get a portfolio done for my appearance here on Mr. Jam's page. Or I could just post a pic of Maria Juleena Jalimao. ;-)

[fardel aka Faye Lipad]

# Mahjuja
Stop talking, start acting....
We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,We want your picture,.....................

[Chamin]

Mahjuja,

Picture, please!

[Pam]

Many parents like combining both of their names to create names for their children. Example:
Marlene+Eugene=Marlgelene
Renato+Melody=Melody

oh and there are those who like getting the first few letters of the alphabet. I know one whose name is Abcde

[Pam]

By the way, Angela, are you Filipino? I was laughing like a hyena when I saw how you christened them with Filipino names. Sooo authentic!

[farah]

bow to Angela...

[Dancer Arroyo]

Hurray! I have a last name! I have a last name! And yes, I have a sister.

[Mahjuja aka Maria Juleena Jalimao]

Mr. Jam I forget how I'm supposed to post my pic, could you help? I've decided to post my pic here due to popular demand (read: my ego has been inflated to epic proportions ;-)).

[Angela]

Pam, 25% genetically and 9 years academically.

Fardel a.k.a fayli, You over estimated me again. That will only be true if google is the extension of my brain. Right now my brain is just normal size for human female but it's full of nonsense, just the way I like it.

*

Can't remember if I posted a comment about my experience that one day I overheard 3 people talking about visiting their friends at the hospital who just had a baby. The Mother is Lucia and the Father is Fernando so they named their first born Lucifer.

Imagine the baptismal scene?

Priest: I baptise you Lucifer in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit..

Ka-Boom!

Btw, what is Lucifer's family name?

[sej]

Angela,

Right now my brain is just normal size for human female

No it's not. Your's is approaching "Men's Sizes" :-p

(hmmm... how many enemies did I just create?? :-)

[sej]

Angela,

Didn't Lucifer start out as an Angel, and so I don't think he would have had a surname...

[Angela]

My mind is thinking of approaching men's sizes? How did you know sej? Are looking at my webcam? Or through my window?

[Its me]

If Majuja sends a very beautiful picture to compliment her name... then, she should not use her filipino name "Jalimao".. it would be contradictory.

Ask Angela why.....

[fardel aka Faye Lipad]

Mahjuja does not have a beard and a turban, a snake and a flute?
ummmm

[sej]

Angela,

Alas, I'm doing neither. For you though, put simply, your intelligence shines through, a blind man could see it.

And whilst Google is may be many people's friends, you also have to know how to use it.

[Mahjuja]

Hey Fardel I think you have some serious competition now ;-)

LOL now I get a virtual beard like Angela, wow I feel like I'm part of an exclusive group now.:D

[Pam]

erratum: my previous post should have read:
Renato + Melody =Rendy

Never try to comment on a blog while teaching your student

[gucci shoes]

Be enthusiastic! Enthusiasm will take you further than any amount of experience." How right they were. Do you think so? Posed By gucci shoes

[Asics shoes]

When it comes to blatant lies, there are none more egregious than budget figures. Did you agree with me?

[ugg womens boots]

I enjoy your posts. You write beautifully. That’s all…

[gucci handbag]

I'm not quite agree with you, I think is just a code name it, it gives us a convenient, but it is just code it, it represents a specific person is more important is that this person gives Impression. and not because the name of this great good to note that this is two different things.

[Lift Lurker]

Some of the spam comments are begin to sound intelligent.

Even though I know from name of commenter it is a spam comment, sometimes I still get confused if its real comment or not.

So now I wonder if the author of this website can write a whole article that sound like an intelligent spam post: meaning it can be posted anytime and feel like it talks about recent event, it sound like it mean something but actually nothing.

Actually, that sound like most internet website today. Maybe that's why we love this website.

[TS]

@Lift Lurker
Your comment on recent post is both smart and insightful, which reminds me of the best spam I ever had from www.spam.ni

[Chamin]

I am sure Nury, or Lift Lurker/TS/Fardel/Grandma as a guest writer, should be able to make an intelligent-spam-like post; and also make us laugh.

[Jeremy]

I got to say that I've thought about this before! Got some mates in the Philippines and they love it there!!! Re - the spammy comments - you dudes are rocking - spam is best served on sandwiches!!! :)

[Play Bingo]

Humorous for some, clever for me. Some Filipinos know how to embrace how other Filipinos make simple mistakes on words and laugh at it. To whoever made that menu, we are not laughing at you, we are laughing with you! :)