How to Filipinoize your name

 
Why be Joe Chan or Jane Smith when you can have a magical moniker?

DO YOU WISH your name was Nacho Halo2 Esteban de la Cruz III?

I do. It can be done. Here’s how. Readers from the Philippines have kindly offered to share their wonderful name-generating methods with the rest of us. And volunteers have offered to “Filipino-ize” any names we send them.

A flood of comments and emails arrived following a column in this space about the unsurpassed level of creativity in the names of the citizenry of the Philippines.
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“You only scratched the surface,” wrote Adoracion Punonbayan, who highlighted unique names such as Tabangcura, which means “fat monk” in Tagalog and Sapin which means “underwear” in Ilocano.
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Reader Erich Beck met a woman with a child called Bonicar. “What does it mean?” he asked.

“Baby start to come and we rush to the hospital in the taxi,” she replied. “But the baby come out before we get there. So we call her Born-in-the-car, or Bonicar for short.”

What will happen if her next child is born in the back of an Airbus A380 Superjumbo? Will the child be called “A380”? Or “Superjumbo”. Or “Back of the Bus”, perhaps?
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A reader named Mike wrote: “My friend surnamed Juan named his kids Annie and Avery.”

Get it? Annie Juan sounds like “anyone” and Avery Juan is pronounced “everyone”.

I think this may be a problem if the two Juan sisters are loitering somewhere and a police officer starts asking questions.

“Name?”

“Anyone.”

“Yeah right. And what about you?”

“Everyone.”

“Okay, you’re both under arrest.”
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Reader Angela Sias, who was born in the Philippines, kindly offered to Filipinoize the names of readers who contribute regularly to this column.

Christy Chiang becomes “Maria Christeta Cassandra Conception Cuneta Jr.”

Ram becomes “Jose Ramoncito Boncato Alcantara IV”.

Chamin da Silva becomes “Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III”

Jason becomes “Jay2 Tondo”.

Mahjuja becomes “Maria Juleena Jalimao”.

Then there’s Faye Lipad (Fardel) and Kaye Moreno (Karuna), who sound like wicked sisters.

And the guy who signs himself “Lift Lurker” becomes “Boy Elebator”.
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A reader from Manila explained how to do it.

You get a list of names and then you perform one or more of the following operations:

(a) you double bits (Ting-Ting);

(b) you add Tagalog elements (Tabangcura);

(c ) you add Spanish religious names (Adoracion de Jesus);

(d) you add English cutesy words (Boy, Girlie, Queenie, Baby);

(e) you combine Chinese syllables into single words (Ko Kwan Ko becomes Cojuangco);

(f) you change V to B and F to P and sometimes add a silent ‘h’ (for a Tagalog flavor, Ronnie becomes Rhonnie);

(g) and then you add a bit of magic and a suffix (“the Third”).

To demonstrate, here are some famous celebrity names which have been Filipinoized.

Barack Obama becomes “ Baz-Baz Joselito Reyes Obayani Jr”.

Harry Potter becomes “Harrison Bagwis de los Santos Potter-Pacifico”.

Lady Gaga becomes “Our Lady Gaga”.

Michael Jackson becomes “Michael Magtanggol del Rosario Jacinto IV”.

David Cameron becomes “Dabid-Danilo ‘Boy’ Rizal Camilo”.

Fred Flintstone becomes “Pred Antonio Plintstone Isagani III”.

This columnist, whose nickname is Mister Jam, becomes Jamon de la Cruz IV.
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To add interest, some residents regularly change names or nicknames. Erich Beck told me that his Filipina friend mislaid her passport and lost the ability to travel.

“Is it hard to get a new passport in the Philippines?” he asked.

She replied: “No, not at all. It’s just that I can’t remember my name.”
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Technorati Tags: Filipino names,philippines,wit

Comments

[Angela]

hahaha...so this is the sequel.

Sorry Nury, Angela may have been born in the Philippines but this truck driver was not ;-)

The truck driver was conceptualized, manufactured, assembled, packaged, and delivered in Indonesia.

Shipped to the Philippines for education and character building and then returned to Indonesia due to manufacturer's defect.

Indonesia exported to Singapore as they do all their defective products, ehrm..I mean sellable resources, where she is now remote-controlled to drive trucks and deliver joy to the joyless hearts :)

Ah! such a beautiful world out there and here I am deprived of sunshine.

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

Nice recipe for creating names. I should try this on my nephews and nieces :-p. It's nice to have an occasional fight with them :o)

In Sri Lanka, pet names often have stories. One of my friends had a dog names "labuna(received)", because the puppy was at his door after he thought of getting one a couple of days back.
One of my uncles had a dog named "Dedaaha(two thousand)". His neighbor boasted about getting a puppy for Rs. 2000, and this was my uncles response.

[fardel aka Faye libad]

What will happen if her next child is born in the back of an Airbus A380 Superjumbo?
If he is fat , airjumbobus
If he is skinny,Airfilobus

@Magandang halohalo jeepney
so,you are an import ,too !?
@Uncle Nury
what happened to Mahjuja's picture?
Is she so afraid to be no competition to Angela or Farah that she asked you not to post it.
Or is she so pretty that you are keeping it all for yourself?!

[Mel]

Lady Gaga becomes “Our Lady Gaga” - fell off my chair laughing, Thanks!

[Nury]

Angela, so you were born in Indonesia, educated in the Philippines and work in Singapore? No wonder you are such a mixed up kid!

Fardel, no sign of Mahjuja's picture yet... she is waiting for an appointment with Annie Leibovitz I think.

Chaminda, you already have a nice-sounding name...

[tomal]

Hellow everyone

[Mahjuja]

Ugh! OK that's it! I sent my pics not once but twice, to nury@vittachi.com. I don't know who's sabbatoging here.

@Mr. Jam maybe u ccould write a mystery 'The case of the missing pics'
and I can't afford Annie Leibovitz! 'sigh':-( On the bright side I might not be brazen enough to post any pics Anne Leibovitz would shoot of me! ;-)

Now can somebody tell me in the language for the IT retarded how I can post my pics myself? Come on, somebody, I'm being ridiculed here...
Please let it be something easy, where you don't have register or open an account, if possible.

[fardel aka Faye libad]

ref Mahjuja
how disappointing!
Sigh

[Mahjuja]

Here, I found a way, here are some links to my facebook page, you can see my pics here

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2289781&l=f67eebefe8&id=539278870

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1446399&l=5215b8c43f&id=539278870

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1380196&l=36f1e418a5&id=539278870

hmm...I guess where there is a will, there IS a way. :-)

[TS]

Mahjuja, just follow the TS guide to easy image posting in tobaiti steps below.

1. Go to http://tinypic.com/ , click the Browse button and find the picture on your drive.
2. In the Resize menu select: Website/email (320x240).
3. Click the UPLOAD NOW! button.
4. Copy the link in the box called HTML For Website
5. Paste the link in the comments box here at Uncle Nury's.

[fardel]

#Angela,Farah
I am sorry to inform you that I have visited the site where Mahjuja has posted her picture.

She does not wear turban, she does not tame snakes..
I advise that you stay clear of her site, unless you plan to follow a therapy to fight jealousy

Guys
You should not go there either, unless you do not show her picture to your spouses,.or face trouble at home.

Uncle Nury
This is true for you too.

[Ram]

@TS...

Tinypic sometimes have problems... It says that the IP address is blocked and so cant upload pics...

[fardel]

Hi guys

My apologies..I shall be unable to post any comment for some times to come...

Following my visit to Mahjuja's site, my heart beat went so high that I had to call an ambulance....
Doctors say that if I want to survive , I should not avoid contact with movie stars

[Mahjuja]

So, fardel, you should 'not' avoid contact with movie stars? Hmm... maybe Penelope Cruz could be convinced to meet with you on a humanitarian basis.

Seems like my 'wait for it, wait for it... and ???' post has been very portentous for you. At least you can't say I didn't warn you.

But I must say, Mr. Jam made me yearn to do an Annie Leibovitz shoot for some inexplicable reason... :-(

[Mike]

Here is my pic using TS directions

Mike

[Karuna aka Kaye Moreno]

@Mahjuja,
Shall follow Fardel's advice and not show the photos to my wife :-)
And nice selection of cotton sarees too.

@Nury
How is that all the women on this blog are so beautiful ?

[fardel aka Faye Lipad]

@ Mahjuja
My hand was still shaking when I typed this comment
@Mike
Is that you , on the right?

[Mike]

That is Dre and Kira flanking their papa blending into the background. I was making slime with them, out of borax, glue and food coloring. You can see more of them and me on some youtube videos of a cable access tv show I briefly had.

Search Mike Munson, Name My Show, Lompoc, on youtube

[Angela]

Nury, Let me just further share with you and all the NAMING CONVENTION.

If you are JAMON then your son will be JAMONCITO.

When you have a grandson, you become JAMONADO

Your son, JAMON

and your grandson, JAMONCITO III

[Angela]

WOW! Mahjuja is really gorgeous :) those with weak hearts should be warned.

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What I noticed in Mike's photo is the shadow on the wall. It's a perfect shadow.

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

Our group is much better than Hollywood :o), we have ladies who are both attractive and intelligent :-p

[fardel aka Faye libad]

And
we are handsome , too

[Maharlika]

Lift lurker=Boy elebator

makes me want to date him!

[Rehanna]

this has got to stop!...please i beg you...please stop writing stupid things!!!

[pretty in pink]

jealousy is like farting in the elevator. we can't see your face (in this column) but we can smell you.

yeurk!

[fardel aka Faye libad]

Somebody stops the elevator!!!

Somebody is sick in there
She cannot breathe, she cannot laugh.
she begs you
open the door
She got to run ( but she does not know where to, )
Let her go
poor chap

so young and so old already

[gobbledygook]

i know a lady whose surname is Jalimao and here in the Philippines, it means monster. sadly, she got it from her husband. poor kids (if they have any) they'll be called Jalimao kids.

[Mahjuja]

I agree with pretty in pink, today I feel like somebody has farted in here.

My advice- If you can't stand the wit, then stay out of this column.

We're not bothering you, why are you bothering us?

[sej]

Mahjuja... has to be another cardboard cutout. Can't be real.

Beautiful and smart.

[tamanna]

errrr i can't fillipionize my name..dont know tagalog..

and mahjuja amazing pictures!where is the place anyway?

[Mahjuja]

Various places@ DU, one of them is at charukola (the fine-arts institute).

Boy, you guys r sweeping me off my feet here, I must have been mingling with the wrong people all this time...

I even impressed Angela! ^_^

[tamanna]

guessed so..specially in the 3rd pic..so typical DU hehe..
now can someone help me with my name?

[fardel]

Sorry,
being from the other side of the planet , I do not understand: DU

[Angela]

tamanna, your name is already very tagalog. it means "enough already"

seriously, it does. I thought you were filipino :)

[farah]

@ fardel

du is short form of dhaka university, one of the most beautiful and cherished institutions in Bangladesh.

[Mahjuja]

Hey farah, there u r! I was abt to ask for u, missed u actually. Why the sabbatical?

@fardel As Farah explains, these pics are all taken on the campus of the University of Dhaka, a public university of Bangladesh,(oldest university)my alma mater. The pics were taken on occasions called Pahela Falgun (the first of Spring) and Pahela Boishak (the first of Summer) people get decked up to greet the seasons kind of like the way the Japanese greet the cherry blossoms, I suppose. But the best of the festivities are focused around the DU campus, so now that I've graduated I miss the fun of those days. 'Sigh'

[fardel aka Faye libad]

@ Farah
Thank you for the information
@Mahjuja
Ah .....those days in higher education !!!!!

Now real life starts.......
Make the best of it..
Were you in University together?

[farah]

hey Mahjuja i never knew you're in DU. which dept?

i'll be stuck in DU for another year or so. i thought MBA classes would be boring with strange people (to an extent it is) but it's actually fun though.

if you're down there anytime soon let's meet up. would be fun to have our own Uncle Nury's BD gathering.

[Mahjuja]

@Fardel no farah and I 'met' here.

Yeah real life starts at grad school. Oh my, maybe the next time I post a pic after grad studies, nobody'll recognize me, wrinkles, grey hair and all...he he.

[Mahjuja]

@farah, sorry hon, we missed each other, I just passed out last year 2009. Hope u make the most of Pahela Boishak and Falgun while ur there, u'll miss it after u graduate!

I was in economics. Wasn't interested in business, no offence just personal choice. In fact I wanted to study engineering but that's another story all together. Maybe I'll mention all that in my autobiography, would'nt want someone to go all 'Rehanna' in here.

[farah]

economics....nice!!!

i graduated from du in 2007 but i still dont miss a visit on Pohela Baishak & Falgun.

[Mahjuja]

Yeah, my feelings abt Dhaka r like an on and off romance, miss the festivities but hate the 'grime and the grind' of the city.

[tamanna]

@ farah and mahjuju..will call u both apu from now..senior after all!though im not in DU hehe..
@ angela..tamanna is also an arabic word meaning wish..wow i now have a name with two meanings!

[Mike]

Tamanna in Hindi means desire.
Farah in Arabic means joy.

[tamanna]

o right..i forgot about that..makes it to 3 now..:D