Greek debt: instant briefing

 

Why the current crisis could affect you

INVESTORS ARE PANICKING in the belief that the Greek debt crisis could hurt the world economy, according to the headlines. What’s this all about? Here’s a briefing.

Q: Two thousand years ago, Greece was the home of some of the cleverest men who ever lived, Aristotle, Plato and Socrates. What happened?

A: They died.

Q: Oh. So did all the brains disappear with them?

A: Well, put it this way. The math in the current Greek government’s account books turned out to be all wrong.

Q: Other countries have debt problems. Why panic over Greece?

A: Most countries have debts, but Greece sold its debts to its neighbors.

Q: Hey, that’s actually pretty smart.

A: That decision was probably taken by the last descendents of Aristotle, Plato and Socrates.

Q: Did I buy any of it?

A: If your investments or currency holdings have European bits, yes.

Q: Bother! Does Greece have natural resources?

A: Yes, it has massive deposits of the letter O, which it exports all over the world. A typical Greek name is: Apostolos Papadopoulos-Tzortzopoulos (Score: nine Os.)

Q: Is a cooked mouse an element of the famous Greek dish moussaka?

A: It depends where you order it.

Q: What ever happened to the British-Greek singer George Michael?

A: He changed his name back to Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou and focuses on his other hobby, which is being arrested in toilets.

Q: What about Hercules and Zeus and all those Immortal dudes? They’re Greek, right? Can’t they fix things?

A: Hercules is a super-powered mythical hero who is loved by millions, but could not possibly exist in real life, like Superman and Barack Obama.

 

Q: Does the Greek dessert “Baklava” contain real lava?

A: Only if you cook it for a REALL Y long time.

Q: So, what happens next?

A: Other Eurozone countries will lend Greece cash if Greeks workers will tighten their belts and work out how to increase earnings from their main skill-sets: playing the bouzouki, drinking ouzo, and smashing dinner plates.

Q: Are they cooperating?

A: Greek workers have expressed their enthusiasm by going on strike, rioting in the streets and throwing rocks at police officers.

A: That doesn’t sound good.

Q: It’s normal. Europeans are passionate people. If you say “Good morning,” a European will kiss you on both cheeks, perform a folk dance, and spit three times over his left shoulder, or more if an American is standing behind him.

 

Q: Do I have to ask any more questions?

A: Yes, because this posting needs to be just a little bit longer.

Q: So, what else do you want to tell me about Greeks?

A: Greeks have a great sense of humor. The word “comedian” is Greek. Greek comics joke that there are three questions which will reveal is someone is Greek.

1) Does your father leave his shirt buttons undone to reveal thick chest hair and a massive gold cross?

2) Have you or a family member ever been photographed with a donkey?

3) Do you have to shave twice a day? Or, if you are male, three times?

Q: Can we PLEASE stop now?

A: Okay, done. Let’s go eat baklava.

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Technorati Tags: Greek debt,Greek crisis,finance,humor,jokes

Comments

[Chamin]

This is the only explanation about this crisis that did not sound Greek to me :-p

[Elena]

Mr jam, you are soooo cheeky

[Angela]

Greece should claim royalty for every use of the word "olympic", they can make enough money to pay off their debts just by royalty fees from the olympic games alone, considering the gazillions of $ companies pay to sponsor winter and summer olympics. And now there's youth olympic spin-off as well. And they can also claim royalty from the use of Olympus too, the company that makes cameras.

If money not enuf, can tax user every time they invoke the name of greek gods and amke greek jokes.

Nury, your tax on this column alone is enough to rebuild the acropolis.

[Ram]

@nury: Is that translation for real or just your funny imagination?...

Also, did you get my e-mail? Coz I didnt get any message back from you...

[Lift Lurker]

Greece is a small country but has made big impact on the world.

Greek letters are heavily used in math and engineering and science.

For example the character alpha is used to describe the very smooth and sexy acceleration of a lift as it slides floor to floor.

The character delta is used to describe how many feet an airplane plummets toward the ocean per second. It will take T (theta) seconds before impact.

However, Mr Jam's article makes everything make sense to me. The GFC happened because of abuse of derivatives and contracts. Look at the maths used in those things they are full of Greek letters. For example Scholes-Black.

[Christy]

I find myself anticipating Lift Lurker's comment for every article...to see how he would link the topic to lifts :D You never fail to surprise!!!

[Lift Lurker]

@Christy, huh? I did not even notice I do that.

;-)

[TS]

Q:Is this a Greek Column?

A:Yes!

Q:Like the one at no Acropolis?

A:No, this is a different kind of column.

Q:Is Baklava really Greek?

A:No, Uncle Nury forgot to do his research, Baklava is really Turkish.

Q:Is this the end of the column then?

A:No, I will pull a "switcheroo".

Q:What's a "switcheroo"?

Q:Have you never heard of a "switcheroo"?

A:No, but I suspect it is a situation where the tables are suddenly turned and the "A" person turns into the "Q" person and visa versa.

Q:You are clever, did you figure that out on your own?

A:Yes!

[Newbie]

So what is this?
A gathering of comedians or something???

[Samantha]

"greek column"

That's very clever

[Chamin]

The Japanese students in our lab think Bakhlava is a weapon of mass destruction. It is too sweet for them, they are scared that eating one piece will kill them :-p. Every time our Turkish colleague brings some to the lab, I get to finish most of it :o)

[fardel]

@Newbie

the text under the title "the diary is open" says it all.
Welcome to the first global madhouse
@ lift lurker
I found myself at 19 floor when I wanted to go to 13, but nobody was there.
Do your lifts have a soul and are out to play tricks on me?

[fardel]

@newbie
as you have noticed, the stories you will find here are elevating one's mind

[Lift Lurker]

@fardel, it is sad fact that even the best machines will have problems after many years -- the eyes start to fail, the fingers don't go where we want them, the mind thinks it pressed 13 but actually pressed 19...but don't worry it happen to me too.

Once I pressed Alarm button instead of Ground floor. The alarm sound was like Handel Messia choir to my ears.

But your elevating comment make me want to take off and fly.

[chanel replica watches]

From the ancient Greeks and Romans to current day writers and professors, the debate about happiness continues.