1000 jailed for using bad words

 
Using naughty words in front of police officers is illegal in some places

MY AMERICAN FRIEND Kimberly is hammering away at her computer so hard that she will either break the keyboard or the table.

She pauses to explain that she is supporting a campaign to stop police in the US arresting people for using bad language. “Free speech laws give us the right to swear,” she explains.

So why the bad mood?

“Because the media outlets which host the discussions automatically delete profanities,” she explains. “Even the ones which support the campaign.”

It was pretty funny. The computers kept replacing her words with asterisks. One of her postings appeared on screen like this:

“These days we can say goodbye to asterisks since free speech protects our right to write so-called profanities such as ****, **** and **** in full.”

“It makes me look like an idiot,” she growled.

Despite more than 1,000 arrests a year, swearing is not illegal in the US, she told me.
*
Curious, I contact a legal expert in Hong Kong. He tells me naughty words ARE illegal here, as they are in most places in Asia. “Laws of Hong Kong Chapter 556B” gives police the right to arrest anyone using a naughty word on a train, while “Ocean Park Bylaw Chapter 388B” promises a month in jail for swearing in the theme park of that name.

In the rest of Asia, laws on “disorderly conduct” are used to lock up people who are caught swearing in the presence of the authorities.
*
So I advised Kimberly to use Asian swear words to get past American computer-filters.

In Hindi people insult each other by saying: “You are the hair growing on my buttocks.”

An interesting Mandarin Chinese curse is xiǎotùzǎizi, “son of a rabbit”. Sometimes you hear parents curse lazy children with this phrase. It’s a bit like a mother calling her child “son of a bitch” without realizing the irony.
*
Mainstream media websites use automated word filters to stop bad words being printed, Kimberly tells me.

This leads to what computer boffins know as The Scunthorpe Problem. People in the town of that name in the UK often find themselves isolated because computers around the world think it is a bad word.

The same thing happens if you try to discuss Shitake mushrooms.

A Scottish man named Craig Cockborn found that Hotmail would not allow him to use his own name.

A Canadian named Linda Callahan was automatically refused a Yahoo account because her name contains the word “allah”. (If the real Allah tried to start to a Yahoo account, He would be refused.)
*
Some computer-filters automatically substitute milder words for banned ones. For example, the vulgar word “ass” (meaning buttocks)  is often replaced by the milder, childish word “butt”.

For that reason, one often gets sentences like the following, quoted in the UK Daily Telegraph:

“President Abraham Lincoln was buttbuttinated by an armed buttailant after a life devoted to the reform of the US consbreastution.”

(The computer automatically “cleaned up” the words “assassination”, “assailant” and “constitution”.)
*
Last week, a large Michigan woman named Marilyn Cole pleaded guilty to assaulting a Walmart security guard by sitting on him.

Now that’s a new sort of crime, and a new word such as buttailant would be perfect to describe Ms Cole.
*
RELATED POST:
New swear words for the world

Comments

[Paul]

The practice of language enforcement in HK is certainly lax though….

For the spoken form of Cantonese, I certainly hear enough people on the various forms of public transportation talking about falling in the street, hitting your lung, & delaying no more* ( *this one is a phonetic play on words variation of a term involving mothers and intercourse that seems to be somewhat universal).

For the written word, I have also seen a wide variety of English foul language scrawled on t-shirts in HK, that seems to give no one pause. Some of my students have even worn these to class, to which I simply have to laugh and say, you know if you were at a school in the US you would be kicked out. If you were in a public place like a mall, you could be arrested.

And in the spirit of bilingualism, let me share my absolute favorite swear moment in film from Steve Martin in Plains, Trains, and Automobiles.

Note: this features foul language and is presented in two languages….so not for the kiddies. ;)

[Jason]

One of my friends in Canada, in an effort to avoid trouble at work from the insidious IT PC Nazis monitoring everyone's email, installed profanity filters to prevent emails from the guys getting through when he checked is personal hotmail account. Boys will be boys, eh? So being the smart-ass I am, promptly sent an email full of beyotches, shites, bollocks, facks, arses and other assorted goodies.

I wonder if the prudish old hag at the Catholic school board where he worked had a heart attack?

[farah]

what about creative upated profanities? do they get filtered as well?

[Angela]

buttonhole and butthole, what's the difference?

[fardel aka Faye libad]

The size
the first one is so big that it covers the hole :Butt-on-hole

[fardel aka Faye libad]

It looks to me that those guys had plenty time for their artwork

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/> src=http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/6c6f50088b.jpg border=0 alt="Free Image Hosting">

West Hong Kong island, april 2010

[fardel aka Faye libad]

This "talks" better than the previous link

[Dinu]

we'll find a way to say it, no matter what.

and yes, those computer-filters should be moved roughly up their donkeys.

[Christy aka Miss-Conception]

I used to tutor a girl and she always had problems spelling "assassination". Not anymore after I told her, the word contains two asses.

Now the word would be what -- buttbuttsination?!

[Lift Lurker]

Prudity is foundation of civilization.

I hope one day world will celebrate "Obsecinity Free Day" (can you survive)

Just after "No to Commercialization of April Fool Day"

And of course "Hug a Lift Day"

(And for grandpa: Hug a Plane Today Day)

[Lift Lurker]

@Angela, will you be a good grandmother?

[Christy aka Miss-Conception]

@ Lift Lurker

Ewww, your grandmother might be younger than you.

Also her daughter will become your aunt? Or your mother? This makes my brain hurt.

This reminds me of the 72-year-old woman who married her own grandson who's 26. Ewwww.

[Mahjuja]

I think we're proof of Darwin's Theory- evolution is the key to continued existence...

[Mahjuja]

Ewww Christy, was the incident a joke or for real? And did u get any input on the meaning of my name, 'Mahjuja', just wondering.

[fardel aka Faye libad]

@Lift Lurker

Your question is going to kill our truck driver.
she is so afraid to put on years, unlike me.....

When do I find my grandson picture?
@ Christy
hank for your info on elevator bills

[Christy aka Miss-Conception]

@ Mahjuja

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2954310/Gran-and-grandson-to-have-baby.html

It's real, they're even going to have a baby...what if he/she has to draw family trees for school projects?!

Teacher: Why does your family tree have interlocking branches?!

About your name, I haven't seen my teacher since the semester ended. I'll ask him tomorrow when we're having Arabic class gathering! :)

[Liza A Samad]

I dream of someday going to a Chinese restaurant and eat some Poopake mushrooms, as it says so on the English menu~.

[farah]

i read the news as well. apprently it was love at first sight 0_0

love indeed is blind and sees no age.

[Mahjuja]

OMG, @ farah, What? let me imagine, granny sees new-born grandson and falls in love, of a different kind? more like love is blind and sees no taboo...

@Christy, I would be more worried abt whether the kid has one eye or no thumbs or something due to inbreeding, double ewww!

[Maharlika]

buttbuttinated huh? LOL!
why is everyone discussing about incest?

[Angela]

Michael Bubble' is in a quandry. Shall he remain Michael Booble' or shall he be Michael Title'? either way the computer filter will automatically rename him Michael Breastle

Poor chap.

*

Titanic should have been renamed "Boobanic" then it may have had a luckier voyage, better feng shui. But computer filter will scan through the online archive and substitute the name of the ill-fated ship to "breastanic"

*

on another unrelated historical finding, the milk brand Nestle' was originally called Title' after the original container and source of the product.

[Mahjuja]

My perception of the word title has been changed forever.

[Telephone Answering Service]

These all issues are important to use in terms of legal cases. Thanks for comment.

[peter]

I love the Michael BOOBle comment...

But think how you would feel in an english-speaking country if you had the name of one of our former German service managers ( and I am NOT making this up !) : Helmut Fucker ....

[Chamin]

I used to discuss news articles at The Lanka Academic, www.theacademic.org. There, your words get replaced by those with entirely different meanings.

For example, "idiot" is replaced by "profound genius". I tried the other way and that did not work :-p

[TS]

Parus major.

[Angela]

Chu, Bu, and Fu immigrated to America. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck, and Fu had to go back to China.

[Mike]

What do people say when they want to curse but can't? Here is a list of Mormon cuss words.

Drat, Gosh, Oh Farts and Darts, Heck, Flip, Freak, Fudge, Criminy, For Cripes Sake, Oh My Heck,Deep Dog Doo, Dammy Sammy, Holy Crap, Hoover Dam, Shitake Mushroom, Holy Moly, Geeze Louise, Good Gravy, For Pete's Sake, Fiddlesticks, Shoot, Holy Crap, Bubble, Kick My Trash, H-E double hockey sticks, Oh Gash, Judas Priest, Aw Scrud, Momma Mia, Ratsamatootsa, Scrappin, Holy Cow, Oh My Coconut Ding Ball Bat.

Now we all can sound like we are cast members of a 1960's family sitcom.

[tamanna]

poor fu!
idiot is replaced by profound genius..hmm will keep that in mind the next time anyone calls me that..or vice versa..
bad words reminds me of an incident..once my aunty was reallly angry with her son( whos a real badass..err badbutt)and yelled "u son of a bitch!" and went on shouting at the top of her voice..I then patted her shoulder and said "it takes real courage to confess that ur a bitch aunty.."..she went all quiet after that..my uncle was relieved that i could finally stop her from screaming..and save my cousin brother's a**..

[Mahjuja]

This reminds of the gesture Ross(FRIENDS) used to do when he couldn't show 'the finger'. Anybody else who watched FRIENDS remember this?

[TS]

Sula leucogaster.

[TS]

Plum Bolster.

[kartini]

The son-of-a-b*tch joke reminds me of a friend's tutorial with a general practitioner. The doctor was explaining about signs and symptoms and listed SOB as one. He then asked the medical students who just started first year if they knew what it meant. My friend said, yes. So he asked her to explain to the whole tutorial group. Her answer, 'What? In front of all these people?'. Turns out that SOB meant shortness of breath. Haha!

[Mahjuja]

On the reverse-side, in Bangladesh, we have titles like MBBS (which is the primary medical degree here, like MD) to imply: Ma-Baba'r Baekar Shonthan (MBBS)which means mom & dad's idle child. So sometimes if a person is idling around, not studying properly or looking for a job, people'll joke that they're an MBBS. It's like a form of sarcasm, calling a lackadisical person a high achiever.

[tamanna]

hahahahah!im doing my MBBS...and i also call myself MBBS as im the most lazy and idle one in the family:P

[Nury]

Okay, T,S kindly explain what your bizarre series of two-word entries above mean...?

Sula leucogaster.

Plum Bolster.

Parus Major.

[Ram]

Sula leucogaster - Brown boobies (Its a bird).

Parus Major - Great tit (Another Bird).

Plum Bolster - Spotted dick (A dish).

Right TS???

[Chamin AKA Maria Chaminda Veneracion DeJesus III]

I read a research paper about Great Tits (the birds), and we had a good laugh with my friends about possible conversations of those who major in that kind of research:

A: So, how's your progress with the great tits?

B: Well, I found that it's harder to watch them than I thought.

C(not familiar with the topic): What?

...... :-p

[TS]

May the Google be with you Ram.

[TS]

The Google is strong in this one...

[farah]

reminds me of one of the characters from kindergarten's text book, dick. back then it was just a name but couple of years back when i taught a junior class every time the name came up i had to stiffle a major giggle.

[fardel aka Faye Libad aka grandpa]

@Farah
Are you a teacher , too?

[farah]

i used to be during the 7 months break i had before joining university and also made pocket money all thru the 4 years of uni by giving private tuition to a kid.

[fardel]

So,
You are a teacher !!