Who is this idiot?

 

Organizations are getting sillier. This is a good thing

THE SILLIEST anti-pollution plan I ever heard was revealed on the RTHK radio news recently.

A weather expert named Dr Hotar Blouard said he and his team had received official approval to erect 50 massive circular fans on mountains along the borders of south China.

The fans would blow into the country to try to prevent pollution clouds leaving.

“They may stop particulate matter coming out of China,” Dr Blouard said. “But they’ll probably also blow other things off course, such as migrating birds, and the private jets favored by tycoons and corrupt officials.”

Now I can say without hesitation that the plan was IDIOTIC and the weather expert who spoke about it seemed to know as much about the weather as the average male knows about Female Logic, assuming that scientists can find proof that such a thing exists.

That’s because the weather expert was me. The news report was broadcast on April Fool’s Day, as a prank set up by news staff.
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The tradition of playing tricks on the first of April is an excellent opportunity to get some much-needed humor into our mundane work-lives.

But get the balance right! Are you listening, Stetson Hallam of Utah, USA? This guy was arrested earlier this month after he stunned a woman with a Taser, tried to kidnap her, and then told police: “It was just an April Fool’s Day stunt.” No, Mr Hallam, April Fool’s Day tricks have to be light and amusing.
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Here are the top seven real April Fool’s Day stunts rolled out by various groups this year.

1. Yahoo Video UK broadcast a news item that a firm was making giant spectacle lenses to be used as car windscreens, to help drivers see better. 

2. Google announced that since the US town of Topeka had changed its name to Google, Google was returning the compliment by changing its name to the Topeka web search engine.

3. Starbucks announced that it was launching a new coffee size called “Plenta”, so addicts could order a whole bucket of cappuccino.

 

4. Ben and Jerry, the ice cream company, announced that it had developed new technology that could transmit new flavors of ice cream direct to your computer screen. Thousands of people went to that page of their website and licked their screens.

5. The Independent newspaper of the UK reported that there were plans to use the Circle Line, part of London’s underground railway system, as a particle accelerator, a sort of Hadron Collider 2.

6. Kodak announced that it had created a new technology called aromaphotography. You would be able to use it to capture images along with the smell of whatever you snapped.

7. Wikipedia’s feature article of the day on its home page was “wife-selling”. It said: “Along with other English customs, wife-selling was exported to England’s American colonies, where one man sold his wife for two dollars and half a dozen bowls of grog.”
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Now I know what you’re thinking. How could anyone believe any of the news announcements above? But they all fooled many gullible people. And I still have the lick mark on my computer screen to prove it.
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ON UNRELATED MATTERS: This lunchtime, Karuna and Mr Jam will be heading into town to locate Fardel, the mysterious French commentator from the Caribbean. Does he really exist? Is he a small Singaporean female truck driver in disguise? All will be revealed shortly.
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Technorati Tags: April Fool

Comments

[Nury]

Angela, is there any chance of you flying to Hong Kong this Saturday? If not, how about we set up a conference phone call or video link or skype chat or something? It will be great to prove to everyone that you are real.

[Jason]

"...know as much about the weather as the average male knows about Female Logic..."

This sums up what men know about female logic. And as my former boss in the US said, get any of the switches wrong or out of sequence and you have to start all over again from the beginning...

http://cafecrem.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/man-woman-switches.jpg

[Angela]

I am not flying to HK this saturday, my nimbus 2000 was badly affected by the volcanic ash had to be retired so I am without any flying gadget at the moment. However, feel free to call me and please do not hang up the phone if a male voice with french accent answers, that's just Pierre, my other personality.

ps: I am planning to ferry to Bintan, Indonesia for a weekend snorkeling trip with my spawn and I (and all my alter egos) do not answer phone calls while underwater. iphone warranty does not cover water damage.

[Ram]

This column reminds me the April Fools Day Hoax published in Taipei Times newspaper last year...
At that time, Taiwan got two pandas from china as a gift... The news captioned "Pandemonium breaks out at Taipei zoo" read that the two pandas from China were not really pandas but Wenzhou brown bears painted black and white to appear as pandas... A picture along with the news showed two pandas with brown patches in place of white fur... Also, they added that they interviewed a zoo keeper who told that pandas in general have low libidos but these two seem to have sex almost all the time they are awake, their behavior irritating the visitors...Again, a picture was added along showing two pandas in action...
This news created some problems the next day and many other newspapers and TV channels said that this is an irresponsible act from a reputed newspaper... But, Taipei Times said that those people are not mature enough to classify jokes from real news...
Here is the news from Taipei Times http://www.taipeitimes.com/images/2009/04/01/TT-980401-P13-IB.pdf

[Christy]

For April's Fool this year I got an SMS which says all the pandas in China have died out and the ones in zoos are actually men in costumes.

[Paul]

Just wanted to drop a quick note to say I was very fortunate to be able to make it to have lunch with Uncle N and fellow posters Fardel and Karuna. Thai food was consumed, plans were discussed, photos were taken....the truth is out there.

that is all ;)

[TS]

I have tried aromaphotography technology on flowers with mixed results...

[TS]

At least you guys kept the food somewhat Asian this time.
Although we found that the Thai food in Hong Kong had been "Chinesesified" in the same way that most foreign food in the west have been "Westernised".

Australia is the place for the most authentic foreign food outside the country of origin.

[Christy]

@ TS

Your dog-poop picture reminds me of a crazy product from Stupid.com...they produce a dog-poop pictures calendar every year.

And people buy it. @_@

http://www.stupid.com/fun/POOC09.html

[Kay]

@ Paul
Photos? Evidence? Blood sample?

[TS]

@Christy

I took the picture in New Forest National Park in south England.
The dogs* just roam around as they please and you'll find their poop everywhere.







*The English call them "horses", but we know better ;-)

[Lift Lurker]

True fullness of idiocy is when businesses finally figure out way how to make profit from April Fool's Day just like they do on Valentin'es, Christmas, Easter, Mother's day and all other western holidays.

When they success to do so, and we scramble each April to buy gifts and spends thousands on stuff, then it will be truly an April Fools Day.

[TS]

First comment from Lift Lurker without mention of any lifts... Break out the Champagne!

So you didn't spend any money on a whoopee cushion this 1st April then?
Can't help thinking how deprived your house must have been without the sound of ripping farts on this international day of jokes.

Well, you can always look forward to "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" on September 19, that's free Matey.

[fardel]

does april fool's day last beyond april 1?
I know a hungry frenchman who walked twice around the HK convention center to find this pastry shop

to find out that each pastry is a towel folded as a cake /ice cream

[fardel]

I am pleased to tell you that i was there too,nice and clad in my tuxedo.
Everything was set up, the groom, the best man, the guests, the food

But .....but.......the bride never showed up.

arrgh! Women!

[Thiru Cumaran]

Loved the google prank that they had (I think in '06) where they were apparently selling a kit which enabled you to get Broadband Internet via your toilet! XD

[Lift Lurker]

@TS, sometimes lifts have to take back seat. It is all about preserving civilization. Lifts are just a weapon (the only weapon).

At all cost we must preserve April 1 from commercial exploitation. Next year we will sell tshirts saying "Absolutely No to commercialization of April 1!", we hope you all buy 1 or many. We are looking for franchises. We will also sell ribbons, organize concerts.

I hope hallmark makes 'Happy Uncommercial April Fools Day' cards'

We should give gifts to each other to remind us of the day. Handmade gifts only please!! (handmade in China factories is ok ).

*Sent from my Lift*

[TS]

@Lift Lurker

Brilliant, maybe Uncle Nury will compose an anti 1st April song and make a video (backwards, sideways, up or down, it doesn't matter) and we can sell it through iTunes to all the iPadians (they'll buy anything).