7 reasons to be eastern/western

Since most of us are culturally mixed, we have a choice

MY CHILD WAS asked to come to school in his National Costume. Tricky. We’re all mixed up these days, with bits of various cultures. My kids are adopted, so they’re even more mixed-up than most.

I told him: “You can be south Asian if you take your father’s background, Chinese if you take your birth-mother’s background, or Western if you take your mom’s background.”

He went away to think about it. (Where does his heart belong? To the Land of Pokemon, of course.)

It got me thinking. What culture am I? I was born in South Asia, educated in the West and work mainly in East Asia. I decided to make a list of advantages of each.

I found Seven Good Reasons to be South Asian.

1) You can claim to have invented the world’s favourite food, curry.

2) No one will be surprised if you wear a 1970s moustache your whole life.

3) You can answer questions by diagonally tilting your head, thus postponing actual decisions for ever.

“Will you marry me?”

Headwobble.

“Are you aware of the speed limit, sir?”

Headwobble.

“Does this make me look fat?”

Headwobble.

See how useful it is?

(Headwobble.)

4) No one will be surprised if you have rocks, twigs and leaves in your pantry.

5) You can be a fat guy with hamster cheeks and still be a movie star.

6). You can act like a complete sexist prat, indeed, no less is expected of you.

7) You can prance around like a girl and claim you’re doing a Bollywood dance. (see pic above)
*

On the downside, South Asian males are the bottom of the popularity chart with girls in almost every country I have lived in.

So perhaps it is better to be Chinese?

I only found Four Good Reasons to be East Asian, but they were really good ones.

1) Everyone thinks you’re brilliant at math so you always get put in charge of the money.

2) No one is surprised if you have sliced deer horn and a dried cow penis in your medicine cabinet.

3) You can make any kind of gibberish noises and tell people, “I’m speaking one of the 3,000 obscure minority dialects of rural China.”

4). Women like you because they reckon that instead of watching football on TV you’ll want to exercise your innate skills in making money.
* 
On the downside, you rarely see Western girls dating East Asian men.

So then I found Seven Good Reasons For Being Western.

1) You can invent games that no one else can understand, like baseball.

2) You don’t have to learn foreign languages because you can just assume that everyone else should learn English.

3) You can have loads of nuclear weapons while telling the rest of the world that they can’t have any.

4) If you live in the US and look even vaguely mammalian, you can have your own gun.

5) Women like you because you are taller than other guys.

6) Your traumas (Titanic sinks, 1,500 die) are taken way more seriously than the traumas of easterners (Dona Paz sinks, 4,000 die).

7) If you are 20 per cent overweight, you are one of the lightest people in the office.
*
In theory, I suppose, if you are multicultural, you could have all the advantages.

Or all the disadvantages. You could be a short, bald, guy with no money and no luck with women.

Suddenly my tragic past makes perfect sense.
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Technorati Tags: good reasons to be,indian,chinese,american

Comments

[marco]

technically cows don't have a penis...

[Jason]

How about 7 reasons to marry an Asian girl?

A few months ago I drafted a David Letterman-esque list: signs you've married an Asian goddess.

- You have a rice cooker and huge sack of rice, when Uncle Ben’s was just fine before

- She has more cousins than you have friends on Facebook

- Long black hair…EVERYWHERE

- You’ve eaten creatures you never heard of before

- She thinks your love handles are cute and a sign of good health

- She knows how to be feminine without it threatening her identity as an independent woman of the 21st century

- All your friends can’t figure out how you married such a hot, exotic wife

- Your in-laws treat you like a prince

- She can fit into less expensive children-sized clothing

- She loves you anyway, faults and all

[Angela]

oh, Jason! so sweet! ;) your wife is so lucky, you're a very appreciative guy.

*

Ah! Friday! best day of the week -- it's the last working day and Mr. Jam is funniest on Friday.

Friday is like creme brulee, it makes up for the escargot.

Friday I can wear jeans and batik and be chic.

*

Agree, being mixed has its perks. You can speak several languages. No matter where I go, in most countries in the East I always look like a local. This however have made me complacent when I travel, I thought that I can observe without being observed.

I got my wakeup call in Spain where I was walking outside a supermarket and a group of young boys stopped, stared at me and shouted “Cheenaa! Cheenaa!” I smiled coz I thought they were calling me by my nickname…then I realize they were calling me “China! China!” as the only Chinese looking person there. Until that moment I never realized how different I could look in other parts of the world. After that I began to notice that other diners stare when I walk into a restaurant or café, the only dark head in a sea of blonds and brunettes and many bald heads…hehehehe.

It was quite a sobering experience, to be on the other side, to be the one being stared at instead of doing the staring. I resolved to be more aware, more sensitive, and not to stare at Caucasians or unusual looking people anymore when I come back to Asia. I guess we only look different on the outside but on the inside we would feel the same human emotions.

*

United Nations day in my niece's kindergarten means students come to school in different country's national costume. My niece told her mother that she wants to be Italian because they eat pizza and spaghetti, she is sick of eating rice everyday. So my sister racked her brain trying to think of an Italian outfit for her very Chinese looking daughter. Finally that day came. I only saw the photo she emailed me, my niece was wearing black and white horizontal striped t-shirt and dark mini skirt plus a red handkerchief knotted around her neck. She went to school as a Gondola Driver. Buongiorno Maria!

[Foxlore]

I think there is certainly a western bias. I am not talking culturally or racially but semantically. No one seems to give the word ‘east’ a fair shake.

It is perfectly normal for someone from Asia to be westernized (through fashion, attitude, outlook, etc) but how about the reverse? Westernization seems to be a mode of behavior. But to be ‘eastern’ seems to still be the domain of race/ethnicity. When was the last time you saw a caucasian person from wherever and thought..., Wow! That guy/girl is totally easternized? (Even as I write this, my spell checker is throwing up a red flag to let me know that easternized is not a proper word….but westernized is.)

Columbus went looking for the east….but he still found ‘the west’. Even in mythology…the Monkey King had to Journey to the west.

I’m so confused…but perhaps I as still waiting for Friedman’s so called‘flat’ world. ;-)

[Angela]

ah! but I know someone is making his journey to the east soon. Perhaps he wants to be easternized, or maybe just angelized.

:D

[Foxlore]

PS. @Uncle N, if prancing around like a girl meant I got to dance with Aishwarya Rai I would gladly sacrifice my masculinity, and you would not even have to pay me whatever it is Bollywood actors get paid. (Not that they would pay me as I look more like the fat-cubs-fan, than the Bollywood Brad Pitt she is dancing with above) ;-D

[Manfred]

Three good reasons to be British

1) The Beatles
2) Oasis
3) Eating chips out of a newspaper on a freezing night after an evening in a cosy pub

[Christy]

There's a white American girl at my uni who grew up in SE Asia and speaks PERFECT Malay-English, with all the lahs and ehs in the right places!

I've had people tell me that they can't quite figure me out. I look Chinese, speak English with an American accent, listen to nothing but Italian pop and Islamic songs, love to learn Arabic...

And not to mention lately being courted by an African from Tanzania!

[Jason]

To Manfred, 3 reasons not to be British:

1) Spice Girls
2) Chav's
3) Heathrow Hassles

[fardel]

Angela at her best on friday as well.

Mira , querida!
Este hombre ha conocido estos ' stares,miras' caminando las calles Sur Americanas al lado de una pequena morena linda che se llamaba Angela tambien.
300 personas piapiaia ( chicken noise)
Mira! Chuck Norris vive aquI?!
Es muy facil de enamorarse pero es quasi imposible de partirse de una angela.
casado con una norteafricana,vivido con una morena antillana, padre de una nina morena , la unica cosa che falta para conoscer el mundo es di conoscer la vida asiatica.. pero.....

Libertad!

"I think there is certainly a western bias. I am not talking culturally or racially but semantically. No one seems to give the word ‘east’ a fair shake."
That's not true
the East relates todream , distant horizon , the dawn of civilization, adventure, discovery.

In the West , lot of people turn to the East for its philosophy ,for its life style ( Feng shui, Kung Fu, Karaté, Kendo , Tai chi)

In the West , saris and kimonos are fashionable
In the West everybody turns to the East for its economy (oops , for their economical interest)

From long time the East and its people has fascinated Europe and its people, , Cipango, Hong Kong, Singapore,India,Shangri La,Cathay sound like magnets to those who love travel and who love exotism.

If you ask a western child about the word bamboo:,he will not describe the plant , but the bamboo shoots he eats in a restaurant, the bamboo sticks used in martial arts, or the bamboo houses from asia or the sticks he uses to make a kite

Now , of course I am referring to the educated westerners, not the Westernest westerners with their western , shoot-them down attitude.

[fardel]

I just received a mail from asia one with the following subjects.
Is any one of you targeting me?

» Better to marry for love
» Ways to safeguard your marriage
» Money and marriage: It takes two to tango
» Not worth it to have an extra-marital affair
» Share a passion, do a sport together

[TS]

My better half is Korean but have grown up in Denmark, Spain and Australia.
Because her parents are Danish, we don't have any culture clashes.

Jason is right, there is black hairs EVERYWHERE!

[Angela]

@fardel: you are being spammed. this is the risk when you publish your email address (or browse porn sites - LOL).

@Jason, TS: I think when you live with a (long haired) woman there will be hair everywhere, it's just that black is more visible compared to blond or light brown.

I wonder if Nury will complain about yellow hair everywhere?

*

Have a bright sunny Monday morning folks!

[Nury]

I have FIVE women and a dog (female) in my house (wife, mother, domestic helper, children, pet).

My house is ankle deep in hair.

[Julie]

And did you shave your head specially so you could make the point that it is them not you?

[Jason]

Sounds like Nury is in desperate need of a boys night out, to give him a testosterone booster shot.

[Chamin]

One of my female friends stayed at my place for a week in last May. Even after vacuum cleaning once a week for this long, I still find blond hair once in a while :-o

[Angela]

the worst place to get hair is on your tongue :p

[TS]

Women with hair growing on their tongue is not very sexy ;-)

[Foxlore]

Yeah...and I imagine that with hair on the tongue, shaving, plucking and laser are all undersireable options ;-p

[Karuna]

hmmm ~ Chamin.... so, you had a blonde female friend staying over at your place !!
does mom know about this yet ? may be nice to let her know. She could then stop searching for your bride :D

[yours truly]

Angela
regarding your problem "the worst place to get hair is on your tongue"

This can be solved, by telling your man to shave.

[Chamin]

She nearly killed me for doing that, but is coming to terms with my "Un-Sri Lankan" behavior.

You are right, she did slow down on her girl search after I mentioned this. The next plan is to find a girl and announce that :-p

[fardel]

Hair is always a problem when you have a lady in the house.
It'd better match hers or else!

[Minkha]

I have very mixed feelings about being mixed. It can work both ways: to your advantage or disadvantage, depending on where you go. I am half-Polish and half-Vietnamese. And apparently I look neither.
No one believes I am from Poland even though I lived there most of my life. I get complimented on my Polish all the time.
On the other hand my Vietnamese language skills are practically nonexistent and I don't look Vietnamese enough, too.
Everyone thinks I am Chinese, including Chinese people. I speak Mandarin, but when I am in China I get told off for my accent... They just presume I am a lazy child of an overseas Chinese who can't be bothered to use Chinese at home. A Chinese friend advised I should tell people I am from Xinjiang. They would not expect much from me then. But I am not convinced this is a safe way to go.
Who am I then? Please help...

[fardel]

You are like the rest of us, trying to find roots where there is none.
There are a lot of advantages in being different ; you will always be welcome and appreciated by intelligent ,interesting people and rejected by others .
Who care about them , in the first place
If you travel a lot, you will be surprised by the huge quantity of intelligent, nice people this planet can hold

[Reasons for being french]

TOP 8 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2. Can look forward to experiencing the joy of winning the football world cup for the first time
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
4. You don't have to read the subtitles on art films
5. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
6. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
7. Dual-sex toilets
8. People think you're a great lover even when you're not

[Julie]

Minkha,

as Fardel says, don't worry about the silly people. You just get on with being talented and amazingly exotic. I bet there aren't many people with your combination of genes around.

I used to be mildly exotic in my Australian primary school because I had a long surname ending in ski, but sadly that is no longer enough to get me any attention here. I think I will have to learn Esperanto and dye my hair green . . .

I'm also blown away by your language ability - Polish, English, Vietnamese and Mandarin. Wow!

[Angela]

To Minkha and all the others who have been made to feel that you don't belong because you are mixed or for any other reason:

^ Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ^

(TS, I borrowed your ^ sign)

I know it is easier said than done because it could affect the choices you make in life. I decided to focus in writing because when people cannot see me or hear my strange accent then they can’t judge me based on my color. It’s only as I got older that I realized “they” DON’T MATTER. I thank my family for showing me that when people see you with loving eyes then all the physical differences fall away and you are just perfect the way you are.

Still it makes me sad that my society is like this. People are not seen as individuals with unique traits. We are segregated by race, segmentized by age and gender, categorized by profile, and boxed in by labels.

[fardel]

@angela
your top 8 reasons for being french are really funny, but frogs and snails are not insects, they are beasts:
Have you ever listened to a snail eating a salad?
Have you ever looked a frog in the yes?
Scary, isn'it?
but yummy.

I like the last one the best..

It is sad , you society is not the only one.
Generally humans are like wolves, they need to join a pack and bite who does not belong.
But lucky us ,globalization is there:
worldwide , people get "mixed up" ,more numerous everyday ,those who were born here, raised here, brought somewhere else or born from interracial love are bringing a new life style, with more tolerance.
Look at these columns, aren't they fun with their global jokes and stories ?
Look at what happens worldwide in politics, economy!
Those who are different are making the front page, leading a new way.

[Angela]

Gosh, I am flattered but I am not the witty person who posted the 8 reasons for being French. I always post as Angela only but then I am used to being the usual suspect for any crime committed whether real or imagined.

Here’s my top 5 reasons for dating a French man:

1. Crème brulee
2. Fashion
3. French kiss
4. He won’t think my food is weird because he eats snails and frogs
5. French men are rumored to be great lovers (Pepe Le Pew)

[fardel]

Being the usual suspect is the inconvenience of being famous.

Did you trap a frog yet? to hang him?
( for those unfamiliar with European sarcasm:
a frog is a frenchman seen from across the Channel
Hang somebody is like tying the knot,is like getting trapped into marriage)

Beware, where there is a Frenchman there is a French mother in law.
This generation of mother in law is not ready for chocolate bunny

[Jason]

Why do I get the feeling there are a number of gentlemen on this site that wouldn't mind helping Angela and a few other young ladies here make little eastern/western babies? ;-) :->

[fardel]

What is wrong with that? o(°_°)o

[Minkha]

Thank you for your moral support guys :-) It's nice to be understood.
You are right Fardel - one gets to meet lots of amazing people when one travels. I guess I just have to keep doing it...

[Uli]

I always used to envy a friend at school whose mother was born on the Philippines and whose father was German. He was educated in four different languages from birth: English, Tagalog, German and our local German dialect. In order to make up a bit I started learning languages, too, but never reached his perfection...
My travels took me to various countries in Asia and Europe and I definitely will go on travelling, enjoying to learn more about other cultures, continue studying languages and remain open for all kinds of new angles on life - and that includes your highly enjoyable comments here, too, folks! Thank you for these.

[W K Leung]

Dear Mr. Nury,

I'm your usual reader for reading your article daily on Standard.As a HK chinese I like reading your article to learn English out of tradition. I feel your writing is basically funny & joking though some vocabulary words are profound which I couldn't even see the meaning from dictionary.

A Chinese may be too serious in writing esp. in English so I could never write similiar article.

I'm the rare one living in both cities, HK & Shenzhen with my wife & kid in Shenzhen over 13 years, but I'd immigrated to Canada before and lived there for 3 years.

I'm proud of knowing both Chinese & English, and three languages, Cantonese, Putongwa & English. I always try to make comparsions of the culture in China, HK & Canada and gradually feel the differences.

I could say the HK culture is the mixture of east & west only. When I live in Shenzhen, making friends with a lot of mainland Chinese, eating local foods & watching local TV drama, I do learn a lot about China which could never learnt in other places.

I could say as a Hk guy living in two cities is very fortunate since you could double your living quality just crossing the border within a few km.

You can never find similiar place in the world ! (From US to Mexico maybe hundred of kms, and Mexicans speaking spanish ).

Besides, China is very rich in human resources including pretty girls.When I was in Canada & US, I frequently saw fatty white women & girls smoking in the streets.But you could only get pretty woman with a lot money.

I feel that Chinese girls are attractive not only at appearance, but the culture of caring which most men can't resist. Most Chinese girls could keep slim body & young face even after 35 but white women can't.

Many white guy loses the battle to these girls . I see some chose 'ugly' Chinese girl which I never understand. I think Clinton did want to stay in China during his first visit.

Thus most wives fear and forbid their husbands to go northward. It maybe a good decision. I'm the lucky one failing to chase HK girl 15 years ago but succeeded to get married with a pretty mainland Chinese girl who's 16 years younger than me. Then I found the pool of pretty Chinese girls in Shenzhen.

I feel that the culture differs in different places, based on the history & tradition of people.It's hard to weigh the difference.I agree a global language in English so everyone could communicate freely in this earth, so the conflicts maybe much reduced.

[fardel]

This is an add I have read in the St andard of HK
"white western guy, looking for chinese guide for driving around Taiwan
She must have good face, good spirit ,good legs and good nerves"