Nine funniest bumper stickers

They can get you bumped right off the road

READER SAM DA SILVA wrote me a note: “I was in the US and everyone was driving carefully. No one was using the horn. I wondered why. Then I noticed a big black car in the middle lane with a sign on the back: ‘Honk if you’ve never seen a gun fired from a moving vehicle.’ What a good way to get people to behave.”

Nice idea, Sam. If you were in Los Angeles, it was probably the police chief.
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I like bumper stickers.

I used to have the world’s most annoying one on the back of my car. But I got rid of it because people kept trying to force my car off the edge of bridges, cliffs, ravines, etc, which was a bit inconvenient when I was just doing a supermarket run. It said:

“Watch out for the idiot behind me.”
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But that may not have been the dumbest bumper sticker ever. That title probably goes to the one I saw in London. It said:

“Honk if you love peace and quiet.”

Or perhaps the most annoying one ever was one on the back of a lawyer’s car in New York:

“If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you for crashing into me.”

It was in tiny print.
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Today, this columnist hands over his entire space to his superiors: the readers.
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FROM ANGELA SIAS in Singapore:

I had this bright and noble idea of avoiding plastic bags whenever I buy only a few items that I can either stuff into my handbag, or carry with my two hands.

So one sunny day, on my way home from errands, I stopped by my neighborhood 7-Eleven. After ringing up my purchases, the auntie behind the counter started to stuff them into a plastic bag.

I stopped her, saying: ‘No-need-lah.’

She replied: ‘Hah. You no need carrier-mah? How to bring?’

I paid, then waved her bemused look aside. ‘I got two hands what?’ I said as I picked up my bread and bottle of green tea, one in each hand.

Smugly, I walked towards the exit, my hands full, my heart brimming with self-righteousness. Right there on the heavy glass door, the big red sign stared back at me: PULL TO OPEN.
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FROM RUSSEL DE NIESE IN Sri Lanka: “I was checking in when an airport employee asked: ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’ To which I replied: ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’”
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CHRISTY CHIANG in Hong Kong responded to a recent column on wrong numbers on the telephone: “When I was little, a man called and asked me what color my panties were. I yelled, ‘Mom, what color are my panties? Panty-salesman on the phone."By the time my mom hurried over, the pervert had hung up.”
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VINCE ALCALDE in Melbourne wrote to agree with our complaint about people at airports who look at your identity documents and then ask if you are the person named.  “The creativity expert Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has a slightly different experience,” he said. “Security looks at his passport, thinks for one second, then asks: ‘You are… this name?’”
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FROM ERIC CHIANG in Hong Kong: “Do you know what the characters for Dubai in Mandarin mean? ‘Game Over’.”
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JASON, QUOTING SEINFELD ON MARRIAGE: “You know, a woman thought up marriage: So let me get this straight, you want me to marry you, I can't have sex with anyone else, and if we divorce, you get all my stuff? Where do I sign?"
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Technorati Tags: funny,bumper stickers

Comments

[fardel]

Sorry Nury
this subject is lame , compared to he last ones
Please ,please find something more funny

[Angela]

My grandmother's old jeep has this bumper sticker: "Caution Grandma at the wheel"

Those who did not observe the warning were sent to the hospital.

Once she drove my whole family back home from the farm. I did not go with them to the farm that Sunday morning because I had to study for final exams on Monday. Sunday later afternoon I got a call from the hospital that I should make my own dinner as my whole family is in the hospital. I never really know what happened but they all come home with bruises and bandages and my mother had a long cut on her forehead.

This may have explained my dysfunctional family.

My notorious grandma also run over our pet dog while backing out from the garage. She brought us new dog that Christmas.

We shared the same name. So maybe fardel is right, stay away from trouble.

[Jason]

I used to live in the U.S. bible belt when I worked there for a few years and the funniest decal I saw was the "Jesus Fish" a very popular item in that area, sporting two little feet with the word "Darwin" written inside.

[Jason]

I found the comedian, it wasn't Seinfeld. It was Bobby Slayton that made the marriage comments.

[tamanna]

i thought of a bumper sticker saying "be nice to me..i might be your doctor someday"..but my parents wont let me..

[Christy]

I remember seeing one that goes "Look out! Behind you!" and, I *did* turn to look (don't worry, I was on the bus at that time).

I like bumper stickers but I don't want to have to learn to drive or get a car.

[Vaibhav Chadha]

Fardel - Nury is suffering from Friday cures the antidote to monday mornings.

Bumper sticker - Do you believe in love at first sight or should i drive by again

[TS]

Dymo label seen on an old beat up car - I can't even afford a real bumper sticker

[Angela]

This is not really related to today's post but just want to share, video of yahoo geeks talking about their new homepage:

http://sg.video.yahoo.com/watch/5703997/14946519

I talk to our local geeks here a lot in the course of my work, have to interview them about new products, service, etc. that I have to write about, and sometimes I just want to stab them with my pen.

If I suddenly stop posting comments, feel free to visit me in Changi.

[Karuna]

Angela
Do you write for a technical magazine ?

[Angela]

I write something even more boring... product brochures.

[Angela]

I also write even more boring than boring articles that are published in technical magazine...in Thailand. Do you read Thai?

[Vince A]

I'm fairly certain that in the future, when vehicles routinely communicate with each other, bumper stickers are going to be replaced by LCD screens displaying Google Ads, tailored to the online profile of the person driving the vehicle behind.

What ads will be showing when you are that driver?

[Harry]

It used to be a fad amongst owners of old junk vehicles, like VW beetles, to have pretentious bumper stickers that said, "My other car is a Porsche".
Then I saw a beautiful Porsche 911 with a sticker that said, "My other car is a piece of shit".

[fardel]

Hi Nury
We all are fool , except Angela, of course;
she is smart, pretty,a mother, she fishes in Spain, went to Paris as a kid,works for movie industry , or the sort, write magazines in Thai, specializes in martial arts ( with a degree in the use of knives) organizes events and so and so .
The only thing she never mentioned is flying planes or helicopters (I would have found out the cover up)
All of this in the little body you saw in Singapore;
This cannot be.
It is too good to be real.
What we have here is a gang of truck drivers , who have hired one ( or more ) writer to post in these columns, and a top model to meet you in Singapore
What is called in Singlish a Gang-e -lah, hence the nickname.

I think that I shall have to investigate

[fardel]

Warning to all of us ( except Angela.................again)
The last post proves that my suspicions may be true.
Now she has travelled again to another country not mentioned before

I am warning you all
the SIAS ; Singapore Investigation Agency of the Sort , ( dubbed the Sole Asian Antidissident Service) has sent a spy among us to fish out , trap and investigate worldwide dissidents.
I think that we should be more careful about what we say/write:or think about organized gang-e- lah like , bankers,lawyers, financers , rulers and the fiercest gang of all: the spouses.
This would explain why here, in my far away Caribbean island, I get more and more friendly Chinese female passengers traveling on my airline
I would not be surprised that one of them ask me out , or to marry her ( to keep an eye or annihilate my (our) rebellious spirits).
Now , it reminds me of this girl who wanted to marry me in South America ; she had the same name

This Angela character is the female Asian version of James Bond
( If you do not believe me , review her posts from day one )

BEWARE BEWARE

as we learned in catholic school : an angel(a) is always watching you

[TS]

I don't know if this is of any help but, in my school we learned that an angle of 90° is called a Right Angle.
No mention of hairy truck drivers or cute Asian women.

[Wah Ching WAN]

It reminds me T-shirts I saw :

life is short, drink faster ( man in Wanchai)

Lady killer ( my next door neighbour's 3 years old son - guess father wants son to make up for his own failure)

[TS]

Jason,
I got this bumper sticker recently:

[Mike]

A funny bumper sticker I saw was " condoms are easier to change than diapers"

[sej]

Fardel,

Speaking of planes... and taking it a bit more off topic here, what did you think of the 787 finally getting off the ground?

Being of French heritage/descent, I'm guessing you've got a soft spot for the A380, but personally, I think the 787 is a much sexier looking aircraft.

[sej]

A billboard outside a church in New Zealand, had a picture of Joseph and Mary in bed together, with the caption...

"Poor Joseph. God was a hard act to follow."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1236575/Semi-nude-Mary-Joseph-spark-outrage-challenging-stereotypes-virgin-birth.html

[Karuna]

Fardel
Going by Angela's diverse interest and writing styles, may be Angela is schizophrenia.
Or as you suspect a gang of writers signing off with the same name.

[fardel]

The 787 is a wonderful new design , very innovative;
The A380 is the ultimate aircraft, fully tested before being put in service: It is a heavy truck ,but a very elegant one.
It can carry twice the load of a B747 at about 30 % cheaper to operate than the B747
It is a breakthrough in air transportation
The 787 is designed for economy and long range.
We cannot compare the two, they are different.
When the a 350 comes out , we shall be able to compare it to the B787 .
But it will take time, both project have been delayed , due to the crisis , with Boeing hit harder.
I love airplanes , I do not have preference
I do love the A 380 : go to youtube and view the videos:
Crosswind test, swimming pool test, chicken gun test, exploded turbine test,brakes test, high altitude test, hot weather test, cold weather test, evacuation test..
After viewing that you will marvel yourself.
Everything going right, I should be flying one in April ( unhappily as a passenger only)

[sej]

Fardel,

Agreed, very much for different purposes, and a completely different market segment.

But the A380, apart from the second deck, really just looks like a conventional aircraft, whereas the 787 looks somewhat different. I think it's the shape of the wings, they're more like a bird's wing rather than conventional aircraft wings.

All aircraft have to undergo those sorts of testing these days. A mate of mine used to do some work for Rolls-Royce in one of their jet engine testing facilities. Whilst he'd never tell me exactly what he did, but said it was absoultely exhillarating, and the engines running at full tilt was just mind-blowing.

[fardel]

For those of you who would like to know the A 380 better , here are some very interesting videos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j973645y5AA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1dv_y_3EK0&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5pGlw4o3Ks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nAc7wab-l4&feature=related

ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dhCnGMKw1I

[sheilajade]

SO much information...
warning alert...engk! engk! (sound effect like those on suspense movies)

BRAIN OVERLOAD!
BRAIN OVERLOAD!

[Mike Hart]

At one time when i was young and feckless, I had a black Corvette in Canada. I also had what I thought was a cool bumper sticker which read: "Beer. It's not just for breakfast anymore."

Needless to say, the cops pulled me down about once a day.

[SH]

Hey, I do what the first picture's decal says! It never fails to get rid of tailgaters. :D

[Granville Lochrico]

LOL! Everything's funny! But if people would take each bumper sticker seriously, then it's likely that problems would occur. Everyone should use bumper stickers for important reasons! If there's a "Doctor on Board" sticker, someone can ask for help from the doctor in the car. :D