The Land Where Dogs Rule

In this village, mutts take priority over children

WOOF WOOF! The number of dog-lovers is soaring to record heights. Every day this year, several thousand Asians have proudly joined the ranks of people with half-eaten furniture and semi-masticated shoes.

“Just a few years ago, dogs in Asia were nearly always scrawny, unloved creatures scratching a living on the edge of society. Now they are the most pampered of pets,” a reader wrote to me, commenting on a new a luxury hotel for dogs which has opened in Taiwan. Hey, what about a luxury hotel for underpaid media people? Okay, okay, I guess that’s a lower priority. (We know our place.)

I told the reader that you see articles reporting that “Asians follow the west to become dog-pamperers” about twice a year. Yawn, yawn. I don’t object to them, but they don’t really tell the whole story.

You see, they entirely miss Patiala, The Land Where Dogs Are Kings. This is a real place in the Punjab area of India where dogs are revered, and have been for at least 300 years.

Three times a day, the chief priest of the main temple in Khanpur puts out the finest foods the langar (community kitchen) has produced and calls the diners to eat. “Woof-woof, arf, woooo, wooo,” he howls. (This is doggyspeak for “Dinner is served.”) The dogs race to the spot. Only when they finish eating are humans allowed to start.

Patiala resident Khushdeep Singh is quoted on Indian website 4to40.com as saying: “We never treat dogs the way others do. In fact, we never raise a finger even when our children are attacked or our crops destroyed.”

What do the children think about this? You know what kids are like: they get embarrassed easily by adults. They don’t seem to mind being eaten alive by dogs, as long as no one is looking. Student Gursevak Singh calmly told the reporter that they had “got used to it because almost everyone around here behaves that way”. But he added: “It becomes awkward when we have visitors.”
*

I was thinking about the dog-worshippers of Patiala when I realized that my own household is no different. Whenever we go out to dinner, my family members sternly tell me: “Order something the dog likes.”

Then one night my kids were watching a movie about talking dogs where one of the mutts asks a question: “Are we the masters or are humans the masters?” A dog replies: “Hey, who picks up whose poop?” Yes, we know our place.
*
Dogs, even smallish ones, get more respect than humans. In a US newspaper, I read about a recent incident in Athens, Georgia. A woman who was alone in a house in noticed an intruder snooping around outside. It was 11 pm on a Saturday. Then she saw the door handle turning: he was coming in. What to do? Scream, shout, call for help? No. She dropped to her feet and started scratching the door, panting and growling like a dog. The intruder ran away, the Athens Banner-Herald newspaper reported.

So, you don’t even need to buy a dog. You can just drop to the floor and act like one. I may try this. At least I will get food I like.

Technorati Tags: dogs,funny,patiala

Comments

[Angela]

The lift door opens and my neighbor was standing with her small dog on a pink leash. She looked at me and asked "do you mind?"

"no, it's ok, I like dogs" I smiled "roasted"

She immediately grabbed her pooch, moved to the farthest corner of the lift, and cuddled it until we reached ground floor.

Gheez! some dog owners really have no sense of humor.

Good morning folks!

[Christy]

Angela you're just like my mother! She says the very same thing to dog-lovers.

Wait a minute, are you my mother posting as someone else (you seem to be fictional and everything at once :P )

My class teacher (when I was in high school) has a really loud, booming voice. On a school picnic my friend was chased by a large dog. Our very own human-loudspeaker came to the rescue; she yelled "NO!" at the dog in her eardrum-piercing voice, and it ran away with its tail between its legs...

[Nury]

Angela, you have a wicked sense of humor.

For years I resisted getting a dog. My family includes children and a granny. Who needs another helpless dependant to look after?

Then someone persuaded me that having a dog teaches children to look after a dependant, ie, it gives them important parenting skills.

Now, every night, I say to my kids: "The dog needs to be taken out for a walk."

Every night they ignore me.

I take it out for a walk. yes, I have acquired another helpless dependant.

[sej]

I chose a cat. Living in an apartment, makes much more sense.

But, I remember years ago, when I was in either Hong Kong or Gwong Jau, I can't recall which, but we had Cat Soup. I think it was the civet cat, as opposed to a feline cat, but nonetheless, I sensed this experience was going to pay well.

And it has.

Now whenever I go to a friend's place where they have cats, I make sure they're aware of this story, but I also make sure I leave out the "civet" connection.

Sometime later, just at the right moment, "cat soup" will drop into the conversation. Usually at that point, I get asked to go home.

[Christy]

My mom said that she ate cat meat once, when she was little. Apparently my grandpa skinned the cat or something. Ewwwww.

[Chamin]

My nephew and niece promised to do all the chores until my sister bought them a fish tank. There was more food than water in the tank for the first week, but all maintenance was completely ignored after that. My dad, being the "kind grandpa", took over the duties :-p

[Dancer]

In Hong Kong, where eating dogs is illegal, an old neighbour of mine excelled in cooking dogs. His customers included truckfuls of policemen. Even without proof, I still blame this neighbour for my dog's disappearance.

[TS]

A member of my family grew up in a girls orphanage in South Korea.
The place was run on whatever a catholic priest and a couple of nuns could scrape together. Despite living from hand to mouth they had taken in a stray dog as a pet and it was fed the minimal scraps of leftovers from the meals. There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog and the girls loved it back with all of their hearts.

After a particular lean period, where the only food had been rice for a some months, the priest got hold of some meat. The meat was tough and full of tendons, but to the girls it was the best they had ever tasted. Despite being ravished by hunger, the girls still saved some bits of meat for their beloved dog but when they went looking for it, it was nowhere to be found.

It was never seen again...

[May Savella-Norlenius]

in sweden the dog insurance is a must. you can't leave them for more than 4 hrs. by themselves. no spanking or shouting on them. treat it like ur own human relative's

[mahjuja]

Yey, I can post again! As far as news stories go, a lot of people have been unwittingly fed dog, fox and even corpse meat in Bangladesh by unscrupulous, I mean, enterprising restaurants and caterers.

[mahjuja]

As far as news stories go, people have been fed dog, fox and even corpse meat in Bangladesh by unscrupulous, I mean, enterprising restaurants and caterers.

[Harry]

In Canada, at certain times, some butchers have had reindeer meat. A friend of mine served roast reindeer for Christmas dinner. When his guests asked what it was he said, "I don't know but I shot it off the roof last night."
And Angela, I have also used that line. Only about children.

[Christy]

Is accidentally eating corpse meat or drinking human ashes worse? I heard an urban legend that went: A poor family in East Germany got a supply package from the family members in the West. Inside there is a can of supposedly "powdered milk" but actually the remains of grandpa...

[fardel]

One day I was walking by a porch.
A dog , standing on the wall at the height of my face started growling at me, teeth out.
I growled back , teeth out and bit him on the nose, barking (me, barking)
That was the last time it bothered me

One day a brat ( 10 year old boy) was carving something in the wooden frame of my shop.
I looked him straight in the eyes, and started to growl , teeth out ,and got close to him ready to bite.
He stopped right away and started to walk away, looking over his shoulder.
The most difficult part for me was not to burst in laughter

But it feels good to act like a dog

[fardel]

A good joke to make on a dog ( preferably pekenese or a pudue)

You walk three feet behind them , at their speed
They must have rear view cameras because in no time they turn back , they look at you , and they start walking faster, not looking where they go and dragging their master behind.
Of course when the master looks back to see the problem ,you look like you are somewhere else.

If the dog walks by itself, yu can hit the ground with one foot.
The instant take off is amazing

[Karuna]

have a neighbour who has 2 huge dogs.
One late night when I returned home, the dogs were sitting on my door step, growling and not letting me enter my own house.
Finally had to get in through the back door.
Then, went to the 1st floor balcony and poured a bucket of water on the dog.
After that.. have received a lot more respect from the dogs.

[Kancy]

I live in a hostel in Singapore. The teacher mentor living on the sixth floor has in his household two dogs, one very large and one quite tiny, and two little girls, both of them not even as tall as the large dog.
These dogs are as docile as cats and we often wonder why. Back in my home country, nobody keeps a dog as huge as that one because we all thought the priority was to keep your daughter safe.
Months later, we finally know the truth. Apart from weirdities such as sneaking beneath our uniform skirts, the large dog is a vegetarian.
How sad it is for dogs to be castrated already! (Though I am not a dog-lover, I do speak up for species with deprived rights)Yet, they cannot taste the single most delicious food in the world. I'd rather die living this way. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the little girl decides to eat her huge dog one day,deep-fried or roasted.

From then on, I've been saving up meatballs for the large dog, a susposed carnivore who behaves like a nanny.

[farah]

when i was younger i had this friend who had 4-5 dogs at their place (and all huge). every time i went to their place i would first have the dogs tied up before entering the house. but i think they valued the love for their dogs more than my fear so after some time i would see them wandering about and i would put my feet up everytime they came near. instead of shooing them away my friend would let them come near me or pat on it's head. i think he found it more amusing to watch me scanter away when those dogs were near.

[mahjuja]

I spent about 8 years of my early childhood in the Land where Dogs Rule, also known as the USA, and every time I saw someone on the streets walking with their god er, dog, I would beg/force my parents (who would gladly oblige most of the times) to cross the road.

On the other hand, I knew a girl about 2 years old from whom dogs used to run away. Anybody remember Elmyra from the Tiny Toons cartoon?