The hive mind to the rescue

 

How the internet community can work miracles in your life

WITH A CLICK and a pop, my laptop stopped. (Try saying that six times very fast.)

I calmly waited for a few minutes—okay, it was a quarter of a nano-second, because I was panicking—and I tried again.

Again, the machine clicked into life, whined for a moment, and then whimpered and died, all within about eight seconds.

It was reminiscent of the life-cycle of a typical pop music boy-band.

Oh no! What to do? This laptop contained vast amounts of random jottings, essays and other unique written works which could easily have been sold to discerning publishers for a derisory sum, as usual.

Why, if I could not get the thing back to life, I would lose months of saleable work and would have to slash back my spending for the year by a whole dollar. Maybe two!
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Now I don’t want you to think that I totally lost it. The subsequent five minutes I spent rolling around on the floor of the coffee shop screaming was about a completely unrelated matter, which I will identify as soon as I have thought of something plausible.
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After regaining my composure and mopping up the blood, I picked up the dead laptop and went in search of a desk computer.

Finding one, I did an internet search for two particular terms, “troubleshooting” and my laptop’s name, which was “Tammy-Amber Starr”, no, I’m joking, it was “Thinkpad X200”.

Up popped a site called Nerdwealth.com which said: “If you own a Thinkpad and it ever fails to boot, never fear.”

It recommended giving the thing a good thump in a specific spot.

1. Lift laptop up with right hand, keeping screen open.

2. Find fan. (Back left corner. You can see the copper fins inside the vents.)

3. Strike laptop case near vents several times with heel of left hand.

4. Power Laptop back up. It should work.

I picked up my machine.

I turned it over.

I located the correct spot.

I thumped it.

I hit it again.

I walloped it a third time. (This felt good.)

I turned it the right way up again.

I pressed the “on” button.

It clicked.

It buzzed.

It whirred.

It came back to life, a black plastic Lazarus miraculously raised from the dead.
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Scrolling down the screen at NerdWealth.com, I noticed that lots of people had had the same experience.

Here are a few comments, quoted from the site.

IMMZ wrote: “HOLY CRAP! It works! That’s amazing!!! Thanks so much.”

Gromba wrote: “OMG! It worked. I love the internet.”

Mary wrote: “Wow! Thanks! I just bought an old Thinkpad on Ebay for $200 and I was afraid it was dead on arrival. I gave it a whack and now it is working.”

I added my own comments in suitable language: “It totally worked!! OMG OMG OMG!!”

That evening, I mentioned the incident to my mentor/ bartender.

He nodded. “You discovered the power of what is called ‘the hive mind’. Some scientists reckon that the Internet community now has more intelligent problem-solving capability than all the world’s supercomputers put together.”

I was stunned at this, considering the ghastly grammar, juvenile spelling and over-use of exclamation marks on almost every comments board.

Or to put it another way, OMG!!!!
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Illustration: Achim Hering, Creative Commons License
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NOTE: The gallery has been updated, so more commentators’ pix now appear in the box labelled Meet The Gang. Please send in pics (or notes for captions, if you want to write/ edit your own). Thanks!

 

 

Technorati Tags: humor,thinkpad,nerdwealth,hive mind

Comments

[Nik]

Time to sell your soul to Google then. Their launching a new Google OS which will allow you to store and work with data from the "cloud". No more local apps to install. Your files gets synced to their servers.

Laptop decides to crash? No problem. Buy a new one and sync, then you're back to where you were.

Or, maybe not.

[Christy]

Be wary of computers. They have a life of their own and always plot to make your life miserable. They know when you have to hand in something really important, be it homework or a business proposal. Then they crash deliberately.

Printers, too. Mine just spewed out its internal parts along with the paper. Perhaps I should take it to the vet and get it sterilized.

[Ange]

@Nik: Really? But what about security? Won't my data be hacked?

[fardel]

No, you data will not be hacked,it will be sold,worldwide;

[sej]

Nury,

Buy a new laptop. They're really only designed to last a year, two at the most. I'm guessing your's must be somewhere in that one to two year bracket?

The failure rate of a laptop within the first year is about 4%, the second year an additional 13%, the third year, again, an additional 20%. So, after three years, more than 1 in 3 laptops fail in some way. More than half, if you include accidents, such as dropping the laptop.

What's hugely satisfying though, is dropping a dead laptop from a third or fourth story window.

And where's Angela? Another piece of news to freak her out.

A guy from Intel, the people who power the vast majority of PC's and all recent Macs, suggests we will have chips and sensors embedded into our brains within a decade or so, which will do away with keyboards, mice, tv remote controls and the like, we'll only have to think of a web page to view, etc.

I think 2020 is a bit optimistic, but at the same time, I think he's on the right track, its only a matter of time:

http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9141180/Intel_Chips_in_brains_will_control_computers_by_2020

Can you imagine what your own body might end up doing without your consent if these chips fail?

Fardel,

You are right. I place my data in "the cloud", but where is that cloud? Who runs the cloud? Is the cloud secure? Are the people running it trustworthy? Is the cloud any more reliable than my laptop? If the company running your part of the cloud goes bust, can you get your data? All questions people seem to forget to ask when they resort to storing their data in the cloud. It's all a bit foggy it seems.

Christy,

Laptops can be the end of people in more ways than I think even you realise. We got our hands on a well written-off laptop... they guy was driving along the freeway, trying to use his laptop at the same time. The traffic in front of him slowed. He ended up in a ditch. Fortunately, he wasn't badly injured, but the state of the laptop clearly indicated it was still a big hit and would have hurt. I don't think he's going to try and use his laptop again whilst driving.

[Angela]

Hello Gang! I miss you all too. Been down with flu this whole week and also recovering from some very minor heart ache, details of which may be revealed later when i regain my normal strength and can taste food again. Right now everything taste like cardboard in my mouth. I also lost sense of smell so couldnt comment on perfumes. I am allergic anyways, perfumes make me sneeze and cause migraine. So i always go au naturel :-) take it or leave it Fardel!

Cloud computing, few weeks ago there was a big news about backup failure (google or yahoo) which caused loss of data for phone users in the US.

Smart phone met stupid user.

About a month ago I updated my iphone software version and accidentally clicked to cancel the backup so after update is done, my phone is back to factory setting, no photos no contacts and all sexually perverted sms from my regular contacts were erased. I was at lost but not for long as i was able to restore the old backup data from July. So all those men I met after July no longer receive dirty sms from me...hehe..too bad hey?

[mahjuja]

sej, I heard a story about the cloud on the BBC World Service program called Digital Planet, some months ago, and I don't remember the technicalities but, the issues raised were similar to yours. Apparently it would have concerns similar to FaceBook.

[Vince A]

Welcome to health, Angela.

On fear of clouds: keep in mind that, unless you keep your cash under your mattress, your savings are also in the cloud.

And banks do sell your cash worldwide while you sleep, and only back-up a fraction of it.

[Nury]

Interesting thinking, Vince. I never made that mental connection before, but you are right. Cloud computing is like banking. Your data disappears into a distant entity and you have to trust it. Only this time, it isn't just data -- it's real money. I guess that's what happened to some bank customers in the crash last year. Their money existed as data in the Lehman Bros computer, then it disappeared, and so did their savings.

[daus]

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! What should we do now!!??

[Nik]

The way the Internet is growing, cloud computing is inevitable. Even my OS right now already includes a built-in application that will allow me to story some of my data to their cloud service for free (at least for the time being. Eventually, most people would have their digital stuff online. This cloud thing is an old idea originating in the 60s (nope, I wasn't born at that time yet) but it's only now that we've achieved the right mix of technology and economics to make it possible (read: cheap)

Privacy is another matter. The convenience of the Internet is a double-edged sword. If you find it easy enough, the same goes for the hackers (the politically correct term are crackers.)

Yada, yada. My insomnia is keeping me awake!

[farah]

the other day i just had to write as essay on the pros & cons of using internet. all i can say is after 10 minutes of writing i came up with more good stuff than bad stuff repeating separate times in different ways how internet can eat away your boredome but waste time when you can spend it in doing something productive.

i just googled why oprah winfrey is going to quit her show and i got almost 10 different answers in about 2 seconds. sometimes you gotta love the net.

[Leo]

The Internet might not be as good as you think of. Consider the fact that your computer (those that got hooked up onto Internet) could be attacked by hackers and viruses every 10-15 seconds once they got hooked up. A computer without anti-virus is destined to die in seconds once it gets hooked up.

By the way Nury, ThinkPad is one of the not-so-good laptop. My friends got 2 ThinkPad and they got fried up and passed away in a year. They know how to use the laptop and I know that they won't be using them improperly but the ThinkPad died quick anyway.

Nury, get whatever you need and back it up on a portable harddisk and buy a new laptop. Get an anti-virus installed to your new laptop and transfer the files. Then sell your old and used laptop after you have deleted your personal information.

Based on the fact that you are famous, you probably can sell your used laptop for US$1 million dollars. Or might just a higher price than MJ's glove.

[fardel]

buy a mac

[farah]

we can auction nury's old laptop and buy him a brand new one with all super cool gadgets with the money raised!

[Nik]

Leo,
Please speak for yourself and your software that most likely comes from Redmond.

I've been running my computers for 8 years WITHOUT an anti-virusand I've never had problems with security or virus problems. And, guess what, I'm not paying for it. And, I'm not even a software pirate.

As for ThinkPads, well, maybe the new brand owners never managed to match its old reputation when they were still owned by IBM.

Never had problems with my old ThinkPads then but nowadays, I don't think I want to buy any computer that will last me 5 years (and pay extra for it), when I expect them to be replaced in 2-3 years.

I actually have a 10-year old ThinkPad that I stopped using last year (using it mainly for my experiments). The battery was shot, and there were cracks in the plastic casing, and the screen appears faded. Otherwise it was running fine. I just couldn't bear to use it because it was so ugly. It's in a box somewhere, and I wouldn't e surprised if I pick it up tomorrow and it would still boot up and be actually usable.

[sej]

Ah yes, the Hive Mind.

Leo, you are talking by means of "old wives tales". In determining the whole of Lenovo is a garbage brand, you rely solely on the experience of just two machines.

Nik is closer to the mark, however, he also relies on just his experience to garbage Redmond, and I would think it's simply the fact he has gone against the norm he has so far been spared against anything malicious.

(Linux and Mac's do both have malware, just the number of machines isn't high enough yet for them to be able propogate efficiently enough, but as the platforms become more and more prevalent, they will become more and more of a target. Apple just recently released a patch set that contained nearly 60 patches for Redmond style flaws, buffer overruns which could allow specially crafted code to cause the machine to crash or other arbitrary code execution, ie., control the machine... sound familiar? Linux something similar which allowed a maliciously written piece of code run at the kernel level, ie., control the machine.)

Fardel is caught up in a religious war, Mac vs PC, or is that Mac vs Kentucky Fried, I'm never quite sure...

And hence the danger in the Hive Mind. Whilst there are a large number of people out there who know what they're talking about, there's also a large number out there who don't. And the results of anything useful gets heavily washed by those that are completely useless.

End result is, work out what you want to do, then buy what it is that will do that job. You want a car that can do 300km/hour? You don't go and buy a Toyota Echo now, do you?

As for laptop reliability, I came across this report... It's based on around 30,000 laptops, so I think the results are going to be somewhat more reliable: http://www.tomshardware.com/news/most-least-reliable-notebooks-laptops,9102.html.

[sej]

Try this url instead of the one above: http://www.tomshardware.com/news/most-least-reliable-notebooks-laptops,9102.html

[Nury]

Wow, really useful, sej, thanks. Will make good use of that site when making future purchases.

I am just packing my resuscitated thinkpad into a bag (it's about 6.30 am where I am) to head to the airport to go on a trip to Singapore.

I plan to meet the wonderful Angela to see if she really exists or whether she is purely fictional. I'm hoping she is not a bearded truck driver from Bugis Street.

[sej]

Nury, no problems.

But! If you find you need to send your laptop off to be fixed under warranty, make sure you've had a backup made of your harddrive before sending it off. There's a good chance someone who knows what they're doing will be able to get the data off, even if the laptop itself is dead.

If the harddrive is at issue, when it gets repaired under warranty, they are most likely simply going to replace the drive, and there will be no consideration to copying the data from the old to the new (more often refurbished), it will simply be as if it's not there.

Lastly, let us know of your meeting with Angela. I think there are serveral here, particularly Fardel, who would appreciate knowing whether she is real or virtual, or perhaps somewhere in between.

[Nik]

Sej,
How else would you like to "garbage Redmond" except from experience? If you've been burned once, is it smart to wait for another?

Anyway, W7 appears to be a different animal but I'm just not tempted.

I agree with your suggestion to backup the drive, just in case. It may not have been the busted part and a reputable shop worth its salt should be able to make a backup of your data. (I also think that it's standard for PC manufacturer's not to cover data recovery for your drive, so backup just in case they decide to replace your machine.)

[Angela]

Angela just booked urgent appointments for:

1. Facial hair waxing (remove beard and mustache)

2. Hair extension (to look like the pic)

3. Liposuction (to get rid of the beer belly)

4. Shower (to get rid of the beer stink)

5. Hourly parking space in Bugis street (to hide my 10 wheeler truck)

[Angela]

Vince got it, security is just an illusion.

We backup our data, keep our cash in the bank, buy life insurance... and then wait and see.

We anticipate the inevitable and when it happens, thank goodness I got back-up, I got insurance. Now I can continue the anticipation for the next inevitable...unless it is the life insurance that was used..in that case, the inevitable end. hehehe

[fardel]

Higuys
I am not religious about macs
.
i have been using cheap , old used macs for the last 15 years.
I did not pay more than 300 USD for them( I even have three old candy like imacs running my office/airline work.I bought them usd 50 each.
one crashed last month; the hard drive "froze':there most so much corrosion on it thatI wondered how it had been working in the first place.
But , i permanently back up my work, either on an external hard drive or on one of those pocket usb keys,
In case of crash/loss/theft, the work can be finished on a borrowed computer

I am not more interested than any of you in knowing if Angela is real or fictional, but yes I am very interested.
But now , I am wondering if she is not Nury's new hero in the new books he is writing.
Sending him to singapore will not prove that she is real.
Sorry guys, since you are too coward to do it , i shall volunteer to check it for myself ( i just swam around South Africa)

[sej]

Nik,

I think what really upsets most people about Redmond, is not the quality of their products, as really, some of them are pretty good, but their percieved business practices, specifically, the fact they've got a virtual monopoly in several areas, and then throw that weight around in a perhaps less than ethical way.

Now, I would have to agree, many people have in fact been burnt by Redmond's products, but I think it wasn't necessarily the product itself, but the expectations people were allowed to have about that product. If the expectations had been managed differently, I'm sure it would have been a completely different ball game.

Fardel,

I think you might be right... what role is she going to play in his new book? He was having trouble with his last lead, so perhaps he sacked her and hired Angela....? Food for thought.

[fardel]

Sej
You will have to wait a little longer for them to sign a contract.
He does not want to be on the list of the writers fired by their fictional characters