In search of Angela

 

How to spot fake people on the internet—and not miss the real ones

MORE THAN A MILLION of the people we encounter on the internet do not exist, computer experts have calculated. They are talking about people who have email addresses, websites, Facebook pages and sometimes even frequently updated blogs—but are entirely fictional.

I was astonished by this. “What about me?” I asked my geek advisor. “Do I exist?”

He tilted his head to one side. “Not sure,” he said. “I have to do some fact-checking before I can give you a definitive answer.”
*
This factoid intrigued me because of the growing number of people who comment on my columns through the internet. Several post notes every day, becoming popular sub-columnists. “Some of them are smarter and cleverer and funnier than I am,” I said.

“That’s hard to believe,” he replied, pulling out a small flag bearing the words: “Yes I am being ironic.”

I told him I was particularly touched by a young Singaporean divorcee with a child who signed her posts “Angela”.

He shook his head. “She DEFINITELY doesn’t exist,” he said. “All the top internet scams concerning fake people have been about needy young women. Go to the Internet and look up Kaycee Nicole, or Lonelygirl15, or LillyAnn Callendrello: they are all scams based around pretty women facing big challenges. I can pretty much guarantee that your ‘Angela’ is a hairy, 120-kilo male truck driver with a conviction for stalking.”

This was kind of disappointing. On the other hand, it’s good to have a variety of penpals, and hairy, 120-kilo male truck driving stalkers are under-represented in my social circle.

Mr Geek told me to ask “Angela” and other mystery internet contacts to send me their photographs.

A couple of weeks later, I met him at the bar and told him that I received a dozen images. 

He said: “Don’t tell me. They’re all really good-looking, right? That PROVES they’re fake.”

I put forward the theory that highly attractive people posted comments on my blog because “like attracts like”.

His only response was to laugh out his beer so hard that some of it hit an innocent bystander two tables away.

I apologized on his behalf while he recovered himself.

“If your cute young woman REALLY turns out to be a cute young woman, this could be a first in Internet history,” he said.

I decided to investigate.

I flew to Singapore.

First stop was to have lunch with a journalist friend, Dora Cheuk, editor of Reader’s Digest.

“Make sure you meet in a public place,” she advised. “And send me details in case you are never seen again. It might make a good story.” She was trying to look sympathetic but I’m sure she was thinking about how many pages she could fill if I vanished.
*
At eight o’clock that night I met Angela near the bank of the Singapore river. She WAS a young divorced mother of one.

We had a pleasant meal at a riverside restaurant. She was astonishingly well behaved. She did not try to assault, kidnap, or murder me once. (Which is more than can be said for many people who spend time with me.)
*

That night, back at my hotel, I emailed Mr Geek. “You were right about one thing,” I wrote. “She doesn’t look much like the photo she sent. She’s much, much prettier.”

 

Technorati Tags: internet,fake,identity,nury vittachi,readers' digest,Dora Cheuk

Comments

[Karuna]

http://www.boomerwolf.com/soundsmovies/chorus.au

[fardel]

Hi Nury
So, she is real , she pretends to be a man eater and you got away in one piece!?
Does it make you a virtual character?
Did you use some magic?
did you meet somebody who pretended to be Angela?
Are you sure that she was THE Angela we know?
Did you cross check her ?
what else?

I need to know all your secrets before I make an attempt to visit Singapore myself, and get out of there in one piece

My apologies if i cannot laugh at this good column.

I am back to internet country after a second two-weeks stay in internetless City, the country of wormy camembert and good food (I picked up two inches on my waist line,one inch per week)

This is a warning to all of you, the reckless readers of these columns.

I had an accident over a month ago , reading your comments
;I popped a gut,
yes your heard me.
I laughed so loud that my bowels tried to get away from their location, which is highly inconvenient:
I already bought my ticket to HK , and I could not see myself travelling to Asia with a wheelbarrow to carry my guts around.
On top of that, I did not want to take the chances that a cook would take them to fry them.
So i had to get surgery and hire a company to replace me at my job
The operation went well
The surgeon stitched a patch ( without the fifty year guarantee I wanted , though)
When the surgeon sent me home she told me
No smoking
No alcohol
No Cassoulet

But worse
No vittachi for a month
Now ,she is not watching, so I could not wait to hear from you guys

I just watched the video of the guy who got up in five minutes.
You can believe me
If laughing after receiving a belly patch is good for the morale, it does hurts really bad.
You have been warned

Those good columns are reserved those with a good colon only.
Others ,read at your own risks and order you patch right now (I know a good address for that)

Nury
I suggest that you add a disclaimer to these column.
Just in case a westerner with weak guts takes you to court.
Hi Angela
sorry for not believing yet, but pretty pictures
t

[Jason]

Drat my cover as a Canadian male has been blown. I may as well fess up to my true identity, an amply endowed teenaged Asian girl. To the pervs trolling, I am just kidding.

[jc]

you spelled dora's name wrongly!

[Jamil Din]

Hi Nury,

I couldn’t believe you took seriously meeting Angela in your quest to prove a theory that most commentators’ identity in blogs are hoax? You got it right at least for my name. But how can you tell true identity from fictitious. Unless you include registration, fingerprint, user ID and sophisticated password for every posting, your columns are open goals for unwelcome postings from reckless readers.

[mike]

You old matchmaker you! You're trying to fix Angela up! It will probaly work. Good for you Nury.

[peter]

Hi Nury,

I would simply like to say that Angela is truly beautiful, as are the great majority of Chinese girls.

Unfortunately , and sadly, their true beauty is often - nay usually - not appreciated by most westerners ( how often has Miss China won the Miss World competition except at politically-biased competitions as in 2008 ? )

To Angela : if you are reading this : if I was not already madly in love with a beautiful Chinese lady I would happily fall madly in love with you !

Peter

[Foxlore]

The reason why 'real' girls do not exist on the internet is because it was mostly created by guys (like me) who were treated by girls as if they did no exist in the 'real' world...

...or wait....was it created by Al Gore ;-p ;-D

[Angela]

oh ye unbelievers! especially you French heathen!

Peter - The important thing is that you are in love. Just how do you fall "madly" "in love"? Are these two mutually inclusive? :)

Foxlore - I think nobody can be really 'real' on the internet. That is the beauty of internet, you can be as real as you are comfortable with and the rest... if you have a chance to be better than yourself in real world, wouldn't you take it? Like you said girls treat you like you don't exit in the real world, so internet give you a chance to re-make yourself and get noticed for your internet persona. I would so take that chance!..LOL..

[Angela]

On needy young women:

This is a classic stereotyping of the female specie, although not without basis – I must concede that.

Notice also that this internet persona of needy young women are mostly created by hairy, 120-kilo male truck driver with a conviction for stalking or guys who write movie reviews (like Fox)

So like Mr. Jam said – "don’t miss the real ones" and Angela added, "just because you created your own monster."

I think there’s a French saying that goes something like: “Don’t be like a broken glass and cut everyone who touch you”

;-) Bonjour folks!

[Nury]

Who has been giving you French lessons, Angela? Is it a certain French-speaking guy who leaves comments here?
Seriously, though, I have to laugh when people tell me that everything I say and do and buy and think is being tracked by the authorities.
They can't even remember my name from the top of the page to the bottom of the page.

One bit of good news for guys. Apparently in the early years of the Internet (1995 ish) the vast majority of users were male -- including those who signed themselves with female names.

Today, the number of REAL women has more or less caught up with the number of guys, and in some areas, such as Facebook, the number of gals is much higher than the number of guys.

[Nury]

As for Fardel's comment that Angela comes across in her writings as a bit of a Man-Eater, I don't think that's true.

I think in her past writings she comes across as an intelligent single woman who has a few interesting dates -- the tall guy, the blond guy in her office building, etc -- but none of whom get serious enough to lead her to the altar.

I must admit, I worry about any woman who is waiting for guys to show commitment -- modern guys are SO BAD at this.

But after meeting Angela, I don't worry about her any more. She is so pretty and confident and relaxed that she can take life in her stride.

Also, she took me to this really crowded bar with a long queue for tables. She just snapped her fingers and the staff (who clearly knew her) immediately led us to a table.

"I don't like waiting," she said, as we took our seats.

This is a girl who can look after herself! If I had been in charge, I would have waited politely in the queue and I would still be there now.

[Foxlore]

Please note my dear fellow posters, that much of what I say here is said with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek.

But to be serious for a moment, of course there are many lovely people of all races and genders who partake in the internet and 'geek' culture. Look to people like video tech blogger Veronica Belmont, the gaming group The Frag Dolls, Scott Johnson over at Extralife who often posts audio diaries with his kids.

Do some people create fake identities online? Sure, but we are only as real as we 'want' to be...online or offline. Look at all the cases guys who secretly have multiple wives/families. I doubt that they are presenting a 'real' self to any of them.

And as to my own existence...well if I learned anything from Star Trek...'existence is futile.'

...or wait...was that resistance. ;-)

[Angela]

LOL@Fox. Live long and prosper!

*

I overheard my little niece say to her Mom while she was in the bath tub pretending to be a dolphin:
Chuchu: Mommy, Mommy, I know what’s the name of that boat that can go underwater.
Mommy: What Chu?
Chuchu: Tamborine! (smiling proudly at her own cleverness)

*

One day my daughter came home from school and said:
Mommy, today we learned that except for a,e,i,o,u, which are vowels, all the other letters are continents.

[TS]

In the town where I was born,
Lived a man who sailed to sea,
And he told us of his life,
In the land of tambourines,

So we sailed on to the sun,
Till we found the sea green,
And we lived beneath the waves,
In our yellow tambourine,

We all live in yellow tambourine,
yellow tambourine, yellow tambourine,
We all live in yellow tambourine,
yellow tambourine, yellow tambourine.

[Lurker]

I think Nury had to fly to Singapore to observe Angela think. This is called the Descartian proof of existence. See if she thinks, therefore she is.

Still, there is something fishy about her story. Look at her photos, enjoy her posts -- who would divorce that?

[farah]

i so love Angela's first pic where she's turned sideways. looks so innocent & pretty. u should be a run-way model.

[Vaibhav Chadha]

Lurker - you're assumming she didnt divorce him.

[Mahjuja]

Angela, in line with Vaibhav's comment, how did someone like you end up marrying someone not worth it i.e. a skunk? Is it easy to be mistaken? Imagine, I'll probably have to get hitched to someone selected and screened by my parents, after having one or two (at best) preliminary conversations with him myself. The thought gives me the creeps!

Considering that, I'm glad you're enjoying your life now. You are truly like the phoenix, rising from the ashes more beautiful than ever.

[Chamin]

Strongly agree with the last line, judging by the photos Nury took :o)

Now I have to get one of my Japanese friends to post here, so that Nury comes here to investigate and I get to meet at a public place over a coffee :-p

[Chrismal Perera]

Oh! The day i found Nury...
I just love his stories... All manage to entertain me.... I hope he keeps writing for RD asia.and this blog of his on which ive spent 2hrs on...Lovely.
Why don't you write the inauguration speech of the first Asian president of the USA..I hope you do.. it'lll be funny