The worst date ever

A warning to singles: you think YOUR evening was bad

SINGLE? DATING? DEPRESSED? You think your life sucks? Then learn from the true story of The Worst Date Ever.

A woman, let’s call her Kate (not her real name), met up with a guy who looked okay, sounded okay, and joined her for dinner as planned.

The evening took a nosedive when he left the table “to get something from the car” and was gone a long time. It got worse when she realized he was not coming back and she had to pay for dinner and drinks. It hit rock bottom when she stepped outside to find that he had stolen her car.
*
This happened recently in the US state of Michigan but I took the clipping with me to the bar to show women who think the men they date are jerks.

“I went out with this guy who talked about himself for the ENTIRE EVENING,” a woman aged 28 said. “Five hours.”

The other women present had no sympathy. “That’s not unusual,” one said. “That’s NORMAL. He’s a guy, isn’t he?”
*
I was intrigued to note that the torrent of tales that flowed fell into two clear categories. There was a standard scenario for bad dates suffered by women, and a different one for those endured by guys.

The female one goes like this.

Guy meets girl.

Guy talks about himself for hours.

Girl puts up with this because he is not totally repulsive and it is good for her self-esteem to be wined and dined.

Then they reach the second bottle of wine.

The guy reveals that he is only here “because I am madly in love with your sister and I want you to tell me how to get close to her”.

All the women had similar tales.

Evidence suggests that the MAJORITY of romantic dinners being enjoyed around the world involve men and the sisters of the girl they love.

Some had minor variations, with the guy revealing: “The real reason I’m here is because I am madly in love with your best friend/ mom / brother/ dad/ grandfather/ household pet.”
*
The standard male bad date story followed a different pattern.

Guy meets girl.

Guy invites girl on date.

Girl turns up with group of friends.

Girl flirts with handsome stranger all night.

Guy watches bitterly from a distance.

Guy pays drinks bill, dinner bill and cover charge for entire group.

Guy eventually catches girl alone for a few seconds and asks for a bit of attention.

Girl blows her top: “Just because you paid for drinks and dinner and everything else for me and all my friends and this handsome stranger with whom I am flirting, you think you OWN me? You JERK.”

She storms off with stranger and friends.

She spends the following year telling everyone how evil you are.
*
But going back to Kate and the Worst Date Ever, I was pleased to read that her date’s level of jerkosity was matched by his level of stupidity. He’d stolen her car but left her with his real phone number and a photo. Police traced him. He deserves a horrible punishment.

He should be sent out on a date with a girl, her friends and a handsome stranger.

Mwah ha ha ha ha. 
*
*

TRAVELLERS' TALES

I JUST WANT to share a letter I had recently from Angela, who was trekking over mountains and wrote from a town in the Alps, Europe called Sexten.

“In Spain I went to this beach where people tan and swim naked. I was not warned by the boat captain until the boat made a turn into the bay and on the starboard side I was greeted by the sight of varying length and sizes of brown grilled weiners basking in the Mallorcan sun. I choked on the pizza I was eating and the pepsi came out of my nose. I almost drowned jumping from the boat to swim to the shore.”

*
I AM IN Germany and I feel ridiculously over-celebrated with articles in newspapers and magazines. Can’t get to the internet hardly at all, so sorry. Interviewers keep asking me what my next book is going to be, and I can't answer except to say that I have a feeling it will grow out of Mr Jam's community on the internet...

Technorati Tags: worst date ever

Comments

[Nury]

It's been a while since I went on a date, but when I was hearing about the guys' moaning about how someone else always got the girl and they got the bill, it really rang true. It happened to me almost every time I went out with a girl.

[farah]

i never went out on dates but you wouldn't tell meeting friends a date would you? the only time i went on a date-date i ended up going out with that guy for more than 3 years (and still on-going) =)

[Pritom]

Dating is nightmare for boys. One of my friends ones went dating. The girl showed up with her other girlfriends and ironically with her boyfriend too. MY POOR FRIEND had to spend tk2500 to satisfy their stomachs.ButI am the only exception on this planet. I always date without spending any money.Girls always pay for my conveyance and phone bill.They order whatever I want to eat and continually thanks me for showing up. coz I always with women who have got no convetional beauty (my friends call them ugly) but have big hearts. Join me guys sometimes ugly girls have something more important than beauty.

[Christy]

Great, now I know what to expect if I ever get asked to go on a date...

[farah]

Pritom that's just plain sick and a narcisstic comment u put up there. and that's even worse than calling someone ugly. that's called using!

[Angela]

Gee...after reading this I feel like a total jerk, a she-jerk for the things I said about my dates. The poor guys, they spent hard earned money on the dinner and taxi ride and all they wanted was someone to share a meal with over meaningful conversation, look at the stars and talk about the meaning of life and then at the end of the night take her home and kiss her hand good night with a promise of doing this again next weekend.

Gosh, I was so wrong, so wrong when I thought that he was being aggressive when he put his hand on my knee during first drink. The poor chap probably just wanted to protect my bare knee from frostbite because the restaurant's airconditioning was turned too low. Such a gentleman, I feel so bad now for slapping his hand away.

And when he asked me to go up to his hotel room because he wanted to show me something quickly, he probably wanted to show me the sweater his mother knitted for him. Such a sweet, sweet man. I am really such a she-jerk for doubting his sincerity. When he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the lift, he just didn't know his own strength. And I thought he was trying to force me to his room. I shouldn't have kicked him in the groin and run towards the taxi stand. That was very rude of me. sigh..after the over-priced wine and pasta...and I don't even drink wine nor like pasta.

I think I will take time out from dating to meditate and do some critical self-reflection. So when I come back, I will become a better dater. Whatever that means, I am sure I will find that path to enlightenment so I can be a kinder date in the future.

[fardel]

This post in the Standard yesterday was the reason why I bought my ticket bypassing SG.
Thanks for the warning;

question
Why typhoons used to have girl' names?
answer
Because , they come wild and wet and they go with the house and the car;
question:
Why typhoons get guys names too

Answer:Because girls work now in governments and they have given bad dates' names to typhoons/hurricanes

[fardel]

Hi
Farah
you got a lucky winner there

[fardel]

Hi guys and girls

Now I understand the meaning of dating.
And me old fool thinking that dating was buying a pizza before skinny deeping in the moonlight.

[Angela]

Wow! pizza and skinny dipping? now that is my idea of dating.

Fardel, where were you when I was still dating?

hmm..probably you were still married or living too far away from my dating range, or both ;-)

[Pritom]

HI Farah i think there is a couple of things u should know.In Bangladesh when u meet a complete stranger and continue it its called dating. So by definition those were dating.U would not mind if a boy spends money on his girlfriend but consider it abnormal if the opposite thing happens.It just so happens that my girlfriend has more money than beauty and at the same time she loves me .

[sej]

So which one do is men, and which one women?

• I may not be easy, but I AM cheap!
• I may not be cheap, but I AM easy!

[TS]

Fortune Cookie:

• Women use sex to get love
• Men use love to get sex

[TS]

Big in Germany is the new Big in Japan.

Just ask David Hasselhoff, he has built his career on being big in Germany (and on occasion, drunk in London).

[mourning mucus]

"Join me guys sometimes ugly girls have something more important than beauty."

I don't have any experience in dating, but I might have found out the real reason behind those odd looking couples. You know, those who are completely different, whether in their attitudes, values or looks. Love (read MONEY) conquers all.

"It just so happens that my girlfriend has more money than beauty and at the same time she loves me."

Umm, I'm really out of words here. Well, she might not be the prettiest girl in the world, but she is YOUR girlfriend. After devouring all her money, the least you could do is show some respect.

God, I'm still so naive... I was supposed to born in the last century, I guess.

[Rika]

Angela, you come closer to Nury than you might think:

Mallorca, naked people sunbathing - that must have been a German occupied beach.

Germans are obsessed with sunbathing, sauna-ing, swimming naked. And they sort of own half of Mallorca.

[adult]

I agree with Pritom, people who are not drop-dead gorgeous get more dates and more s. e. x. than the beautiful people.

We are grateful for a bit of attention. We make friends more easily, we don't have to inspect each other to make sure we are 100 per cent perfect.

Also we make better lovers. We don't just lie there looking gorgeous. We actually make our partners feel wonderful. I know there are lots of young beauties who log on to this page but us who are not so young and no so beautiful, we're having the best time!

[mahjuja]

Mr. Jam, please deal with pritom and this 'adult' and induce some decency and rationality in them or, MAKE THEM SHUT UP! for god's sake. Maybe you should put up some IQ eligibility criteria for people posting on your page so that they don't post obtuse and irrelevant comments to say the least. It takes a good amount of wit to understand pure sarcasm, not everybody's up to it. Just posting anything and everything, esspecially offensive, sexist crap doesn't make you a part of the conversation here.

[k]

There are racist, sexist jerks everywhere.. Unfortunately they have the same rights as anyone else. Just got to suck it up and ignore these people since educating them via arguing (esp on the internet) will probably fail. (still props and respect to those that try!)

[Angela]

Sej confused me a bit...I still don't know which is which, or who is who :)

TS, so true :)
I told my friend his country's 3 greatest contribution to modern civilization: octoberfest, heidi klum, and David Hasselhoff's singing career. He said his Mama actually likes DH songs..I ROTFL...gosh, I feel bad hassling the hoff.

Rika, you're right, I stayed on the German side. And the captain's German and he wanted to shock me after all my many questions to him about the naked sauna in Stuttgart.

[farah]

all i'm saying that no matter what the reason is to go out with someone whether money or good looks or sex that person no matter how bad looking should not be called ugly. if you're in love then that person should be the most beautiful, prettiest and hottest girl in your life.

same thing goes for girls as well.

[Jason]

I was listening to my MP3 last night when a song from a Canadian band came on that reminded me of this article. The lyrics are rather appropriate for some of us guys. From the Northern Pikes, "She Ain't Pretty"

We made a date to go for a drink,
I wore my jeans and she wore a mink.
.
.
She said "Take me home, there won't be no fuss."
I said "Sure you got some change for the bus?"
Watching her leave I heard the bartender say,
"She ain't pretty she just looks that way."
.
.
Her ego wrote cheques incredibly fast,
But her personality didn't have the cash.
I laughed out loud to my total dismay,
She ain't pretty she just looks that way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG3ExHB133k

[Steve]

mahjuja:...you ain't heard sarcasm till you have lived in Yorkshire especially Sheffield (just ask Nury)........what you were referring don't come close.

[fardel]

It is cold outside,
the wind is howling ,
and the snow falling;
Imagine yourself,
confortably cuddled in a deep sofa ,
You watch the flames of a wood fire, dance in a chimney .
It is warm ,
The music is soft,

Humm!
can you imagine yourself there?

Christmas in France is when the dates are the best:

Rich ,
appealing ,
sweet and appetizing ,
they are stuffed with pink or green sweet almond paste and served after dinner.

Yum!

[mahjuja]

@steve: When I meant 'sarcasm' I was referring to Nury's columns and in a way also to satire. Can't make sense of what your trying to point out.

[Steve]

mahjuja........point taken, sorry. Thought you were referring to the LACK of sarcasm in the postings. Your right Nury has the knack of sarcasm........musta learnt when he lived in Sheffield.....:)

[Gina]

I liked that word...jerkosity! :-)

[hope that helps]

3. If a clear date (especially early on) shows up without warning with one or more random friends, why on EARTH would you feel obligated to pay for ANY of them, with the POSSIBLE exception of the woman you asked? This is insanity on the man's part. No woman worth her salt expects a man to pay for anyone but herself (and maybe not that) on an early on-date. NO EXCEPTIONS.

The only reasons I can think of for a man doing this is a)complete lack of self-respect or b) he mistakenly believes from her behavior that she's a whore (hello, she's a con artist, not a hooker, you are NOT getting laid).

4. If this happened to my son, I would advise that the correct reaction is to explain to her that you thought it was a one-on-one date and excuse yourself. Absolutely no amount of explaining excuses the behavior described here. A non-con artist would have called you and cancelled if friends showed up.

5. My final word on the subject: the men's bad date story is directly related to the "men pay for dinner to get laid" myth. Dates are not the "good girls" substitute for money on the table. Dates are a neutral place for two adults to decide how they want their relationship to look. And the sooner that men realize that that is the purpose of dating (and not a substitute for paying a hooker) the happier they'll be.

There are plenty of women looking to get laid, and they'll be happy to discuss that in a neutral setting (i.e., a date, whether it's a walk in the park, or dinner in New York). If you want a sure thing, pay a call girl.

Paying a lot of money for a date shows a distinct lack of imagination, anyway. You can't think of ONE no-cost first date? Dates may or may not involve getting laid, but unless there's a whore on the other side, how much money you lay out (although certainly the con artist will want to see you again).

[Nury]

Dear Hope That Helps, you make some good points, but i think the situation you discuss actually happens more often than you think and there is no malice on the part of the female.

It's a basic misunderstanding. The male makes an arrangement and thinks of it as a "date" with all that implies.

The girl thinks of it as "let's do something social tonight" and thinks there is no problem bringing her friends.

The boy, still thinking it is a date of some sort, steps into the role of host, grabbing the bill.

He ends up feeling hurt and cheated and she ends up mystified that there has been a problem.

I can remember this happening so often when I was 20ish and clearly it still happens today!

[Angela]

hope that helps - you said it!

I was talking to a guy friend who told me of his date who showed up with 2 girl friends and he was "expected" to foot the bill because he is a white guy dating asian girl. He said he doesn't mind paying for their meals and drinks but there was no thank you at all from the trio, not even acknowledgment, and that was what pissed him off.

I agree with the suggestions above that the guy should excuse himself if the date showed up with companion/s. Not fair at all if it was supposed to be one-on-one date.

If it is a group date then everyone pays for themselves or the guy pays only for the girl who is his date.

I've been dating (again) for almost a year but have never seen it from the guy's perspective until I talked to guy friends who gave me valuable insights into a guy's dating pains. Yeah, some girls really do take advantage. But having said that, some guys also expect that they can wine, dine, then sixty-nine you. So I think daters should be smart and assess the datee and act accordingly.