When in danger, sing

 

Students show how to reset your heartbeat in times of stress

EXAM TIME: Four young people recently took a super-tough spoken language test. Their assignment:

Pretend you are a group of hikers who have trekked out of range of cell phone reception. Your friend Kelvin has fallen off the edge of a cliff and hurt his leg. Discuss your response.

The examiners started the clock, expecting the teenagers to talk about who should help Kelvin and who should get emergency help.

But that’s not what happened.

Nobody moved. After a moment, the following conversation took place.

Candidate A: “What should we do to help Kelvin?”

Candidate B: “I think we should sing to him because he will be bored.”

Candidate C: “I think that's a great idea.”

Candidate B: “What shall we sing?”

Candidate C: “I think we should sing Happy Birthday.” (It was not Kelvin’s birthday.)

The examiners, trying not to laugh, covered their faces with the marking sheets. After further consideration, the team started on part two of their rescue mission.

Candidate A: “Maybe Kelvin will be hungry.”

Candidate B: “Yes, we should throw some food and water at Kelvin.”

Candidate C: “But if we throw food at Kelvin, he may get hurt.”

Candidate D: “Yes, I think we should throw him cake. It is soft.”

Nobody spoke to Kelvin to comfort him or find out how badly he was hurt, nor did anyone get help. They assumed Kelvin would be lying there thinking: “As I lie dying at the bottom of this cliff, my main problem is boredom. Luckily, people are singing happy birthday to someone and dropping cake on me. Life is good.”
*
I was told about this by the examiner, a regular reader/ commenter, who did not want her name printed. She told me that at first she thought it was odd, but then realized that people DO respond to dramatic events by singing.

“You can see it all the time in Japanese and Korean drama,” she said. It’s also true in South Asian movies, where imminent tragedy causes groups of people to sing and dance in the fields.

I mentioned this to a few people to get reactions. “It’s not just humans who sing when they’re stressed out,” a scientist friend reported. An Australian bird called the splendid fairy wren (Malurus splendens) does not tweet an alarm call when a cat approaches, but sings instead. (This species is not expected to last long.)

The boffin reckoned it was because if you are stressed, you can re-set your heart rate to a relaxed, lub-dub lub-dub rhythm by singing along to naff, easy-listening music like the Carpenters. 

But he found it weird that young people today listen to music that increases stress levels. If you are about to die, your heart switches to a high-speed thud-thud-thud-thud-thud rhythm, exactly like the electronic backbeat of the I’m a Barbie Girl dance version.

I nodded politely but I suspect this scientist has got cause and effect mixed up. Having been a DJ on several occasions, I can bear witness that the repeated playing of I’m a Barbie Girl makes death seem an attractive option. Kill me, now! Please!
*
In the meantime, if your friend falls off a cliff, DO NOT drop cake on him.

But DO think about performing a medley of chill-out songs such as Yesterday Once More.

But whatever you do, skip I’m a Barbie Girl.

The poor guy will already have suffered enough.

Comments

[farah]

somehow when i am very much pissed listening to heavy/thrash/heavy thudding with no specific rythms and lyrics songs relaxes me. i must be weird!

[Christy]

Haha I know this too well, having just sat the A-levels this year!

For my CE Chinese oral exam, there was this old guy. He RAISED HIS HAND during the discussion because he thought he needed to seek permisison to speak. And he had to nerve to ask me, "Candidate 2, do you agree that kids not living with their parents would have poorer health?" Needless to say, the performance of the whole group was affected...

I tutored a F.1 girl in my F.5 summer. She told me about her English oral test. The teacher asked, "So, what can we do to promote touurism in Hong Kong?"

Her answer was, inexplicably, (here I quote verbatim what she told me) "I clean streets for visitors, they like clean, they will happy if Hong Kong clean." Hmmmm.

Another thing is how unnaturally people talk during such oral exams -- all start the discussion with the cringe-inducing "Shall we start the discussion?", as if a formal announcement is needed......And of course there are those who say nothing other than "I agree."

[Christy]

Oh! Sorry, forgot about another crazy thing:

Oddly enough, in oral exams, "candidates" often talk in a sing-song voice. They do it not to reduce stress, but to impress......

[Kevin]

"if your friend falls off a cliff... DO think about performing a medley of chill-out songs such as Yesterday Once More."

and other Carpenters songs.

But skip Top of the World.

[Nury]

Christy, thanks for your comments, "they will happy" is the sort of thing I hear all the time.

Loads of times people have said to me "I am boring" when they possibly mean "I am bored." I never know whether to correct them or not, since they may just be being honest!

Farah, someone emailed me and said that music generates happiness biochemicals, and people who like thumpy, exciting music (including you and me) are making themselves happy. Technically speaking, we are not becoming more relaxed (ie, our heartbeat is unlikely to fall) but we certainly feel good.

I used to like Paul Simon, but the guy never never never gives out a good scream. These days I prefer Paul McCartney, who can go from sweetness (Michelle, Yesterday) to a total rock-out (Helter Skelter, Rockshow).

[Nury]

Kevin, v funny

[TS]

They could start out by singing the song:
"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands".

After first verse all they have to do is listen for a clapping sound to find out how he's doing.
Second verse will reveal the extend of his injury: "
If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet".

After the third verse he will rate their performance:
"If you're happy and you know it, shout "Hurray!"".

[Karuna]

Candidate A: What should we do to help Kelvin?
Candidate B: Do'nt worry. I have in my backpack "Hasbro toy company’s Ouija For Girls"
Candidate C: Very good idea. Let us call on some resident ghost to help Kelvin

Ouija session start. Pointer starts moving around and stops.....

"hello friends..I am the ghost of Kelvin. Please throw me a cake"

[farah]

and then all the 3 should sing "Happy Birthday"

[godiva]

karuna: ROTFLOL....

people here are brilliant...

[godiva]

when i'm stressed out, I visit this site.... (still LOL). Never fails.

[emk]

kevin: LOL

karuna: LMAO

Nury and gang: You guys are BRILLIANTLY FUNNY! Was feeling down today but a visit to this site cured that! Thanks a lot! Keep it up.

[Louise]

Hi Nury,

Oh don't get me started with "Engrish". I have way too many experiences with that.

Like today my colleague said "They were photo-shooted two days ago".

For a split-second moment there I doubted my above-average English skills.

moment's done, and i'm like, WHAAAAAAAAAT?

love your posts by the way! let's continue to talk about these weird people!

[Louise]

maybe Kevin was thinking...

"okay I fall off cliff and you singing to me happy birthday? I not happy and I angry and scared so much. Why you do that?"

[Candidate A]

HONG KONG RESCUE MANUAL

(a) If a person appears to be badly injured, he may be in need of urgent phonological assistance, in other words he may need some karaoke.

(b) People who are on the point of death suffer mainly from boredom. Get his mind working or at least thinking "huh?" by selecting a totally unsuitable song.

(c) Drop food stuffs on him to comfort him. But opt for soft materials such as sponge cake, congee or chicken noodle soup. He won't enjoy having Beggar's Chicken dropped on his head, especially if you forget to take it out of the rock.

[sej]

Maybe there's something in this singing thing. Have you noticed how a lot of (Western) nursery rhymes tend to be perceived to be about being scared and/or hurt and/or events of great disaster... (even though their real meaning might be either lost or completely different).

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,
When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall...

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
...
And frightened Miss Muffet away!

Hickory dickory dock,
Three mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
And the other two got away with minor injuries

Okay, the last one's not the real deal, but it was still something from my childhood and still portrays death and injury.

[dul]

my favourite soothing n happy music r by Jason Mraz!
i believe the song "wordplay" by him brings me good luck :-)
i used to listen to it before exams... n everyday for the first year at university
(then i eh... got sick of it)

[fardel]

Hey guys and girls
I need help
Bees (thousands of them) have decided to settle in when i was out, and the General is doing nothing about them ( as I mentioned yesterday, I should not be surprised)

Yes ,I hear somebody telling me that I should close the house when I go to work
Well! thanks, I never thought about that; but it is now too late.
Any song you know to put them to sleep, or to scare them away?
Any recipe I could try?fried , maybe?
Thanks

[Karuna]

it may help if you throw out all that Camembert that you hoard in your house.

[farah]

fardel you can try playing the song bumble bee by aqua. i know the song says bumble bee but hey it has bee word in it.

[Tareque]

This site causes alot of stress for alot of people,
Why?
because your comments need to match with Nury's Humour...

By the way what would you do if an investment banker falls of the cliff?

[crissie chavez]

lol, there actually was a part 2, who knows what they couldve gone with part 3.

oddly enough when i'm stressed at work I turn off the music !

[Julie]

Fardel, People I know who live out of town swear that magpies sing along with Nana Mascouri and that snakes will slither away from talk back radio played loud. I think it's just a question of determining the musical taste of your bees. But if music fails - what about smoking them out? Or maybe the answer is Bob Marley.

[Kevin]

Tareque: If an investment banker falls off the cliff, you don't have to do anything. He knows when to call a bottom and when a rebound will take place.

[Uli]

TS and Karuna: that was brilliant!!!
Fardel, it is as simple as that: in Germany we like to eat a cake made with biscuit dough topped with buttery vanilla cream and chopped almonds roasted in caramelized sugar - it is called "bee sting" (Bienenstich), bake it, let the bees settle on the sticky top of it and carry it out of the house.
BTW, when I am stressed I need a good laugh at whatever... Once during a job interview I couldn't stop laughing because my interviewer suddenly got up, snatched a piece of handwritten paper from his desk and handed it to me: "Can you read this?" I said: "Yes, of course I can." He said: "Read it aloud to me please." I did and after three sentences he snatched the paper away again: "Good, you'll need to be able to read my handwriting, because sometimes I cannot." That was when I started to laugh...
BTW, I got the job and am still working there ;-)

[Vince A]

Nury's article and the comments really deliver a clear lesson -- that we should all be prepared with a song or two, in case disaster strikes.

But the songs are not for entertaining a luckless friend. It's for something more important.

When someone falls off a cliff, the first thing that happens is a video upload of the event in Youtube.

And then several Twitter entries.

And then text messages fly everywhere ('Kelvin fell! Check youtube')

And THEN a call to the emergency services.

Young people have very very short attention spans today. (Ask them to watch Usain Bolt run a 100-meter dash, and they change the channel at 35 meters).

Because of that short attention span, the victim is in real danger. His biggest worry would be hearing one of his friends remarking: "I feel boring" because that will very quickly into a chorus of: "I feel boring too", "Me too", "Let's go to the mall."

Before that happens the victim must try to keep his friends entertained, until the emergency services arrive.

And that's where the songs come in. Would be great to be able to sing well even with the occasional blood bubbling from the mouth. The ability to dance with broken legs would be handy as well.

[fardel]

Thank you all

The camembert did not work, one bee proposed to try honey instead of jelly.
They proposed to stay a while to produce enough honey to cover the camembert ( I have a picture of the nest they started to build at day break)
Uli, how big should the cake be to accomodate a colony of 2000+ bees?
Bob Marley' songs do not chase the bees away in the Caribbean, they line up and dance to the beat ( any better idea?)
Smoked bees?! Hum
Do you mean I smoke them to eat them like herrings?

[Chamin]

Fardel,

Smoke seems to work with bees, but I don't recall any famous song about smoke :o(.

Karuna: that was superb! It's nearly been a day, but I am still laughing about it :-p (was the first thing to cross my mind when I woke up this morning. Weird?).

[godiva]

Smoke in the Water (by Deep Purple)... or hey, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (or something like that).
Right, fardel, smoke 'em and aim for the eyes (while playing the song at full volume)

[Sam]

LOL

[Uli]

Fardel, as I like this cake very much, I'd suggest two large baking trays for the bees and one for me :-)

[Uli]

Fardel, additionally you might as well tune up your piano and crack your fingers to play "The Flight of the Bumble Bee" by Rimskij-Korsakov, please contact me for the sheet music in case you don't have it ready ;-)

[fardel]

Hey Uli
Thanks for the tip.
i shall let you know if it works

[Uli]

Great, I'll watch the post for my tray, shall I?