The return of Mr Jam

 

A journey inspires a question: What other lives would you like to live?

EUROPE IS RECOVERING after a visit from a strange and destructive force known as Hurricane Jam and his family and friends.

In other words, Mr J is back from his travels. And the first thing I want to do is to say a big thank you to everyone who has kindly visited this site and written some great comments.

I have been reading all the back lines you guys have written. I love the recipes and the camembert comments, and of course, all the funny lines.

“In Paris we walk the dogs. In Hong Kong you wok them,” wrote Fardel. Technically not true, but still very funny!

I’m only partly back, in the sense that I now have internet access, although I am not back at work yet, so updates won’t be as frequent as they used to be.

In a way, it was good to be out of touch with work. In rural Europe, I stayed in quite a few different places, and none of them had wi-fi. Very few had any kind of functional internet access at all. Europe is quite primitive in this sense.

But as I say, it’s good for the soul to be away from cyberspace for a while, so I soon got over the web-deprivation shakes. Also, I haven’t read a single newspaper for three weeks, which is amazing for me, since I am a news-junkie who normally reads three or four papers every day.

Europe (for those of you who haven’t been there) is really fun. The food is great, the people are lovely and there’s history all around. You can point to almost anything at random and it has a heritage.

“Look, a dog poo.”

“That’s not just a normal dog poo. That is the poo of the dog of Ethelbert the Unready, who ruled Lower Umbria in 200 BC.”

*
  One of the high points was visiting all the historical stuff in Florence, like the statue of David. There are a LOT of statues in that city—and the fun thing is that some of them mysteriously come alive from time to time. One of them took a liking to my bald head, as you can see,here.

We “slummed it”, staying in cheap self-catering places (one of which was on a farm) most of the time, but we had a treat at the end. A friend said we could use her home in France and emailed us the address. When we got there, it turned out to be a castle (see picture right at the top, just under the pizzas)!

*
There’s so much we can learn from the Europeans. For example, they NEVER go to chain stores. If they want a good cappuccino, they walk past Starbucks and get to know the nearest Italian delicatessen where they make really amazing fresh coffee.

If they want a burger, they skip McDonald’s and go to a place which makes fresh burgers out of minced steak.

If they want icecream, they skip Haagen Dazs and go to the local gelato-maker.

Pizza, also, is always individually hand-made by experts. 

It made me ashamed of the way we Asians always lazily go to the brand stores. The Europeans make an effort to find the REAL best products, and boy, do they get well rewarded for their pickiness!

*
What was most fascinating about going on a multi-stop tour like that was to get a glimpse of different ways of living. It made me realize just how many choices there are in this world. And it puts one’s own choices into perspective (and makes you want to change them).

At the moment, I fancy living on a farm in a town in Tuscany, or perhaps living in a quaint cottage near an enormous hypermarket in the Loire Valley.

What other lives would you like to live? I’d love to hear about them.

*
(Pix by Erica, Darren, Wade, Agriturismo and James Temple)

Comments

[farah]

nuryyyy u r backkk!!!!

[TS]

Our trip to Italy in April certainly made us reconsider our options of lifestyle.

Jamie Oliver had already convinced us that Italian food was more than pizza and pasta, but being there, we realised how integrated the food and meals are into their life and family.
Despite most Italians speaking little or no English, things at ticket offices or shops was always sorted out by smiling friendly people with a helpwish (The condition of wanting to help someone).

Some of my Danish friends have actually signed up for petitions on facebook for Starbucks to open stores in Denmark, how stupid is that? It's a bit like inviting Ronald McDonald to be the head chef in a Michelin star restaurant.

[May]

Nury

Nice to hear from you again. I miss you so much....I very much enjoyed Italian "pinsa", Latin word meaning flatbread when I visited Italy last year. Nury, have u learnt to make pinsa in your journey?

[farah]

in BD we're so much inclined on this branded outlets it's become totally generic. eg, if we want to have pizza then it means a trip to pizza hut. i'm a huge fan of pizza and the pics above looks awfully tempting.

[TS]

Farah,
Pizza Hut is the McDonald's of pizza, you need to go on a pilgrimage to Italy :-)

Nury,
You're a writer, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to do your from there. If fact when I first saw the name "Vittachi" on the cover of a book, I immediately thought that this must be an Italian person.
Alternatively you could start start another pseudo Italian clothing line in Asia, next to Bossini and Giordano, Vittachi wouldn't look out of place, I would buy it :-)

[bernard]

welcome back nury! i'm relieved that you're finally back - while you were getting those web-depravation shakes, i was hospitalized for mrjam-withdrawal syndrome. so now i can get back to the old ways of reading your entries on the way home, getting run over by the bus again.

i found your last question incredibly thought-provoking. everytime i travel i wished i'd lived there forever, away from hk's idyllic life and clean, fresh air. but after returning home i'd never want to leave the things and people i cherish in this place called home.

well, now i just want to live somewhere with the love of my life - Ceci - and anywhere would do.

place to rent, anybody? ;>

[Nury]

Travelling is really good for your soul. We get used to thinking that the things that shape our day are really important -- my day was always shaped by regular doubles or triples from Starbucks to keep my mind alert, plus a scan of all the newspapers and news sites, plus of course many hours at the computer writing.
Suddenly I was at a place with no Starbucks, no newspapers and no computers.
What to do with myself?
At first, it was like a weird nightmare, but I eventually got through it and ended up thinking: hey, there are actually other things one can do with one's time. It was a revelation.

May -- you're right, the flat bread in Italy is great, but I REALLY missed rice.

TS -- my name may sound Italian, but my face isn't. I wrote like 300 articles last year -- I think the energy to do that sort of thing would dissipate if I wasn't in a very buzzy place like Hong Kong. If I lived in France, say, my output would drop to one paragraph a week...

Bernard, I'm just like you. I tend to get entranced by the possibilities of places I visit. But then reality kicks in and I remember all the good things about the place where I do live -- inevitably loved ones are top of the list. Ceci is lucky to have such an appreciative guy.

Farah -- you have to try a real Italian pizza -- crisp, crunchy and dramatically overloaded, mm-mm. Those pics above are of street-front pizza shops which can be found everywhere.

[sej]

Nury,

Good to see you back!

I know exactly what you mean. Having just come back from China and Hong Kong a couple of weeks ago, I'm now aiming to return in December (to HK) to apply for residency. I've been to HK so many times now, I really have lost count, and just love it.

But, the one thing that keeps coming back to me, is the fact being somewhere on holiday is a completely different experience to living and working there on a fulltime basis.

For me, that's an experience I want to have, but it's something that for some reason people don't expect when they do make that jump.

(So if anyone's got any jobs going in HK!! :-)

[youchiyagami]

Thank god you're back.

[Uli]

Nice to have you back again, Nury!
I feel quite out of place in these comments for I have never visited Starbucks, McDonald's, Burger King and Pizza Hut only once and then decided that I do not like the taste of their food.....
As in Germany there are many different cultural restaurants managed by "the real guys" (Turkish, Italian, French, Arabian, Indian, Chinese etc.) I prefer to patronize them rather than stuffing myself with the omnipresent fast food....
The only fast food restaurant I have visited more than once (and enjoyed it!) is Kentucky Fried Chicken, but unfortunately there is no such around where we are living....

[Kwong Yiu from Canada]

What, you chose to stay in a few places in Europe and none of them had wifi, and you survived?

The last time I stayed with my in-laws when I was back in Hongkong for a visit, I almost died when I found out that they did not have internet hooked up in their apartment. So I just moved out after one night.

Do you know how many of your die hard fans were checked into hospitals the week you were away, with diagnosis of severe withdrawal symptoms, and many of them behaved like a grumpy old man and forgot how to smile. Me? I barely survived but had been hitting my refresh buttons desperately, thinking that the keyboard just died on me :(

But seriously, welcome back from your holiday, Nuri, and it surely sounds you had a great time in Europe and a good rest.

[Claudia]

Good to see you back!! I live in Canada like Kwong Yiu, and I used to live in HK. Every morning waiting for the school bus I would snatch a copy of the Standard from my dad's hands and immediately flip to your article.

Now that I live in Canada I am hooked to the computer 24/7 to read your stuff online. So you could say my parents were pleased when you went off to Europe so I couldn't stay online forever...

And I've had the same wifi problem in Europe. One hotel in Geneva produced a password for us, and my laptop almost came down with a virus...cheeky...

[Nury]

It must be so strange to have Hong Kong and Canada as your dual "homes". For me, the two places are opposites. One has space, the other has none; one is huge, the other is tiny; one is crowded, the other has vast empty areas; one is eastern with a touch of westernness, while the other is western with a touch of easternness; one is hot and humid and the other is cold and breezy, etc, etc.

Sej, it will be great to meet you when you come to Hong Kong -- give me a bit of warning and I'll organize a get-together with as many of the gang as possible.

I agree with what you say, Claudia, about getting hooked on the internet. It's an interesting way of exploring the world. On the other hand, it's also life's single biggest timewaster!

I think some people will just while away their hours on it and achieve nothing worthwhile for weeks or months or years, while those who are a bit more strong-willed will actually use it as a tool to enhance their lives (rather than as a replacement for real life).

But I find it's tough to resist the temptation to be in the first group, the timewasters!

[Mel]

Good to have you back!! One big part of the world (read Asia) was going bonkers without our daily dose of insanity!

[Chamin]

Welcome back, Nury! And thanks a lot for the wonderful photos, too.

As for your question:

> What other lives would you like to live?
I would like to be a Santa Claus who also teaches kids :o)

Hope that makes sense.

[Chamin]

As for the place, I would like rural Japan with the mountains, pine trees and streams.

[Vince A]

Hmm, if the Europeans don't go into the McD's and Starbucks, who's patronizing those shops?

Welcome back Mr Jam! We missed you, but don't post too frequently yet. Some of us are busy trying to meet deadlines :-) :-)

Fardgela's amusing exchanges helped us keep our insanity while you were away.

[sej]

Nury, I learnt today, that Fardel's comment, “In Paris we walk the dogs. In Hong Kong you wok them,” may not in fact be untrue... I mentioned this to a Hong Kong friend of mine who says along with other supporting comments, "Oh, Yeah" with the tone of "So what? And don't you know that already?"

I also recall being told long ago there's a Cantonese, if not generically Chinese (or even Asian), proverb, saying something along the lines of "if it doesn't have two legs or has wings, then it is edible."

[TS]

Angela and fardel are strangely absent and this after all their strange musings about this, that and Camembert in Mr Jam's absence.

About another life:

1 Camembert cheese (aged for around three weeks)
1 Egg
2 Tablespoons of bread crumbs
2 Slices toast
Blackcurrant or plum jam

Whisk up the egg and dip the cheese in it until there is egg all over the surface.
Roll the cheese in the bread crumbs until it is completely covered.
Deep fry the cheese until the bread crumbs are golden .
Put the cheese on the slices of toast and spread the jam on top.

In another life I would like a helmet, made from above recipe, that I can pop on my head and eat all day long.

[Kivuos]

Nury...Welcome back to our own page..I just returned to India, after an year of stay in hong kong and i have started missing it dearly...This comes as a bit disheartening news to me that you are planning for the gang meeting, just after I left Hong kong...
Regarding your last thought provoking question: I would like to be Bond..James Bond, cause i that case I can get a honourary degree for free like Mr.Brosnan...and atleast some lady (read Bond girls) will show a little interest in my football like figure... :)

[TS]

MBH and me will be in Hong Kong in February for four days, would be neat if there was a gang meeting.

[Nury]

Chamin, if your dream is to be Santa Claus, you must be a really nice person. On the other hand, rural Japan as a dream destination might not quite fit. A far bearded white guy in red tights would not get a warm welcome!

TS - thanks for the recipe, perhaps we can try it out in February. Kivuos, come back and see us some time!

Sej - cooked dog meat used to be available in Hong Kong, in a few rather shady restaurants near the border, but it's been illegal for decades now, and I don't think there are any left. Having acquired a dog, I can witness that they are smelly creatures made of wiry muscle and would not make good steaks.

Might see you later: I've just been summoned to the TV station so you can see me today on Bloomberg channel live at 11.50 -- and you can email comments into the show if you want your name on a million screens.

[fardel]

It happened on saturday morning, on saturday afternoon too
Again on sunday
On monday morning, when going to work, I was feeling like my legs were made of cotton.
I had to see a doctor:
he said that it was not serious ,just fatigue;
He gave me some vitamins:the Vitachine A b and C
I only started to feel better after reading the good news:but took me only two days to fully recover; that was a close call.
As I predicted, the master was on a gourmet tour.

Here, i need to correct some of you; there is internet everywhere in Europe; the only problem is the time/distance/digestion factor:
In rural France ( where Nury was lost last weeks) breakfast is between 7 and 8 am, followed by a quick "casse-croûte" between 10 am and 10:30 am, lunch between 12 and two pm, goûter at 4 pm and dinner between 8pm and 10 or 11:00 pm
NO!those are not the opening hours of restaurants;
This is the duration of the meals ( when we expedite them)
When you think that those meals are served with wine ( from behind the cellar, so strong that they cannot be sold) you can imagine why AWPG could not find internet anywhere.
By the time he could recover from one meal , another one was starting.
In the meantime we , the rest of the world, were suffering of fun deprivation.
I think that for the sake of humanity ,we have to sign a petition : no more vacation
Welcome back;
Don't go again

[Sham]

Nury, nice to see you have shirts other than those nehru-collared ones. Are those for leisure use only?

I see Angela had the same bout as Fardel, but is taking a longer time to recover!

Agree with Fardel. Dont go again. We have enough pandemics to deal with as it is.

[May]

Fardel - u really gave me a good laugh!!

Nury - u see, your fans missed u verrrrry much & they cant work without u!!! we WONT let u go again....I love Bloomberg & I love "Asia Confidential" show

Hey, guys & girls, whenever u miss Nury, you may see one Bloomberg TV show "Asia Confidential with Bernie Lo" as Nury always appears in this program

[fardel]

Nury chose those shirts to travel incognito;

No paparazzi noticed he was there.

[karuna]

hello AWPG (aka Nury) good to hear from you.

Yoh Angela, where are you ?

[Uli]

Fardel, you really got me into convulsions again! :-)))
@Nury, the camembert recipe is lovely, my grandmother used to make it all the time
As to your question from way up above which live we would like to live....
Presently I live exactly four lives and enjoy the schizophrenic sensation: the "loving wife", the "good mother", the "ambitious worker" and the "murderess on paper". :-)))

[Chamin]

HiNury,

You have a point, Santa-like appearance will not really fit in there.

I personally like mountainous areas that get snow in winter, and has streams. I guess it's just that only in Japan I could live in such a place. I should travel more :o)

[fardel]

Sorry i did not have the time to finish my sentence:
"only firemen noticed ( who would not ?) his passing with chili peppers, but they are still trying to figure out what happened

[Angela]

While Europe is still recovering from the visit of Hurricane AWPG, I am just getting back on my wobbly feet after a bad bout of Mr.Jam-less flu.

My friends had to call dedicated ambulance meant for H1N1 patients because I was exhibiting similar symptoms, general lethargy, perennial grumpy-ness, loss of sense of humor, staring blankly into space, carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly clicking on refresh button to check if Mr. Jam is back, etc..

So after the Doctor cleared me of H1N1, my friends bundled me into a taxi then a ferry bound for Bintan, the resort island of Indonesia to expose me to what is known as 5S treatment (Sand, Sea, Sun, Spa, Surfers) over the long weekend (National Day), and it works. I am now back to the mainland and swamped with work load but happy to see that Mr. Jam has returned.

[Chamin]

> Sand, Sea, Sun, Spa, Surfers
Hm, surfers,... as in web surfers ? :-p

[Nury]

Can I edit your list of treats beginning with S so that it's more suitable for guys, Angela?

Sand, sea, sun, spa, and a Singapore girl!

[TS]

I try do to my work according to the rule known as: 5P (Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance).

[Sham]

Singaporeans come up with all lists, the 5C, the 5S. Now u can add the 5Ps to the list too. Why always 5?

[fardel]

I am sorrry to insist and to sound rude.
I consulted my reference the Witachipedia:
There were a few species of chinese dogs, the Shih tzu, the pekingese,the chongqing, the shar pei, the chow chow ( raised for its beautiful eyes as everybody in continental Asia knows), the foo dog ( humm, isn't a d miss here) and the almost hairless Hong dog ( formerly from you town-country).

The first European to discover Honk Kong ( that was once upon a times ago, when there were trees and green mountains ) were serve roasted game from the forest.

This is when they introduced european bread to Hong Kongese, in a form of bunnies .
They had the idea of shaping their bread to the shape of the game they were eating , a hairless animals which they took for rabbit.
It was the now extinct Hong Kong hairless dog they were eating, in a dish called Hong Kong dog sandwich, almost hard to pronounce for those illiterate sailors.
The name evolved into Hong dog sandwich , then in the beginning of the XX century it was advertised worldwide as Hot dog;

Yes you are right, Nury ,technically,in Hong Kong , nobody woks or walks the dogs any longer

[fardel]

Hey angela
You vitachi -itis must be a serious case that you have to blame and HIT the refresh button continuosly.
Hey Angela, what about swimmers ( long distance swimmers)?

something is puzzling me, but I know that you would find an answer for me
In English ,are we supposed to add an S when we we have a few units of something;
In this case, there should be a sixth S in Angela's description;
I wonder what it would stand for.

[Angela]

Chamin, as long as he looks like he also surfs in the ocean, he is acceptable :p

Sham, there are 5 fingers in a hand, 5 working days in a week, 5 sides/points in a star, when you are spread eagle 5 limbs stick out (counting the head), hmm..what else comes in 5? I am running low here..lol..

Fardel, what about (long distance) swimmers? Are you one and hoping make it into my list? ;)

[Angela]

The sixth S can be Sense of humor :)

[fardel]

haaaaaaaaa !!!
the beautiful image of a well tanned,slim, muscular , long haired surfer!
Yes it is me!
on a picture taken last century!
with my greying hair and my improved buoyancy (around he waist only),I shall not pretend to get on your list, but i know that swimming around the globe will be not problem at all.
Now that you have talked about Bintan, I started my swim across.
haaaaaaaaa !!!!
the beautiful image of a well tanned,slim, muscular , long haired lady surfer!

[Uli]

Fardel, be sure to take a WLAN notebook on your swimming trip to Bintan and be sure to connect to the nearest hotsports to keep us posted... Anyway, you wouldn't want to miss Nury's columns so soon again, now, would you?
To be honest, neither would I

[fardel]

I do not need it , I have my Iphone, waterproof,solar charged.

I hope that I shall not drown , laughing at your jokes.

[sej]

Fardel, whilst you are on your arduous journey, I suspect it is more likely to be us drowning in our own tears, created through the laughing at your jokes and repartee rather than the other way around.

Nury's musings are hilarious to say the least, and he is the master facilitator, but, and sorry Nury, you and the rest of the gang certainly do add another dimension.

[fardel]

Thanks;
New dimensions?
I did not add any ;a non governmental organization did it:
type PPP GFN DN BGP SOE ONG in the wittachipedia and find the following description:

The Paper Pusher Planners¹, the Good For Nothing², the Do Nothing But Get Paid³ ,the Scared Of Everything⁴ international organization, threatened in their philosophy ,grumpiness and existence by Nury' gang have met to face an international crisis of a major scale. As for major disasters ( wind, hurricanes earthquake) they have created a scale, the NUFARANGKAR-VINS-TS-ULI scale⁵, to evaluate the level of risk , and propose intermediate non action to deal with the risk.
LEVEL 1 : smile (SML): inverted curve of the mouth , non contagious can be transmitted by the blink of an eye

LEVEL 2: wide smile| (WSML)same as above , but teeth appearing | mildly contagious
LEVEL 3 Laugh (LAF)or ( LOL)| open mouth, rapid movement of the abdomen ,contagious ,results in loss of self control, produces a drop in grumpiness
LEVEL 4 Big laugh (BLAF) or (ROTFL):High noises, rapid loss of self control, loss of balance, can result in wet pants/ skirts, could lead to broken ribs Highly contagious. It is prohibited in public in certain Asian countries , on public transportation worldwide and in circles in the WEST (Bank meetings,government meetings, Board of directors meeting)
LEVEL 5 Laugh explosion: ( LOLBOUM); will result in the destruction of grumpiness, its spread would be the end of financers, bankers,top brass

➀ PPP ¹The Paper Pusher Planners¹:
18 to 20 years old individual who is choosing his "career" depending on its retirement program ; he is planning his next 40 years in the same cubicle of the same office in the same company in the same town, using the same pencil.

➁ GFN the Good For Nothing²
Admirals, general , presidents, CEOs ( except Steeve Job and Bill Gates),long-nailed CEO's female assistants

➂ DN the Do Nothing But Get Paid³
The clocks: employees who are never late, but never leave early but spend their time watching the movement of the needles on the wall of heir cubicle;
The are so on time that their company save money on the purchase of clocks.

➃ SOE the Scared Of Everything⁴
weathermen, walking with open umbrella in full sunshine

➄ the level of risk is calculated by the following formula :
LOR=F(NV²)+√[(nFAR³+ANg+KA) -(Nlda+UL²)]x(T°/Bar)
where
LOR is level of risk
F:facts twisted by
Nury vittachi's vision
fardel's number of lives
Ang :the variation of volume of A' ballons, exposed to the facts under standard atmosphere (ISA)
Ka :Karuna's laughter expressed in decibel
NLda: the landing distance available on Nury's head in standard conditions, zero wind,as mentioned in the landing manual of the Asian Wasp
UL² : the variation in perimeter of Uli's belly between the convulsions produced by her interpretation of the facts
T° :temperature at the time of the facts
Bar :Barometric pressure at the time of the facts, expressed in IN Hg

[stef]

i have to admit, i wouldn't survive "slumming". i would prefer to stay at a hotel. :)