Ouija boards for kids

 

Toy firms want our children to hang out with zombies

TOY COMPANIES ARE distributing tools for children to use to contact the dead. Called Ouija boards or witch-boards, they consist of a flat surface bearing letters and words, and a pointer that moves randomly, allegedly guided by ancient but still active dead souls, such as ghosts, zombies, spirits, and members of the Rolling Stones. 

Top seller is the Hasbro toy company’s Ouija For Girls, issued in bright pink (see top pic) to match the clothes and bedrooms of small females. Websites which do the same thing, but using the computer mouse as a pointer, are also springing up for youngsters. Here’s a sample.

While most countries have traditions of people contacting the dead, up to now the activity involved adults asking questions which made sense to ghosts, such as the one my family members always ask: “Are you there, Auntie? Can you tell me where you buried the money, you miserable cow?”

But Hasbro is empowering massive numbers of pre-teen girls to use these channels to deal with issues in their lives.

I find this frightening. Think about the implications.

In Hades, a group of ghosts will be sitting around quietly being dead, or whatever ghosts do. Suddenly a tickertape machine comes to life. The ghost on monitoring duty makes an announcement: “We have a question from the land of the living.”

The other ghosts stir slightly and ask him to read it out loud. “It’s from Meg-Meg, aged nine,” he replies.

I had a pink flower bag but Melissa got one so I wasn’t her friend anymore but she gave a Zak bracelet to Mandy’s sister’s friend who told the teacher. Shall I invite her to my party?

The ghosts look baffled. “What does it mean?”

The chief ghost shakes his head. “I think it must be some kind of code.”

But then along comes another question:

Can you tell Zak Efron to wait eight years till I’m old enough to marry him? If you don’t, I’ll scream and scream until I’m sick.

Then another:

I want a pony RIGHT NOW.

And another:

If you don’t materialize a pack of Barbie Glitter Stickers in my room in ten minutes I will kill my baby brother.

 

Suddenly thousands of similar puzzling requests are pouring into the land of the dead. They don’t know what’s hit them. Poor guys.
*
I looked up some of the toy review sites on the internet to see what buyers had said about this product. Here’s a comment from a mother in Chicago (I didn’t make this up):

I bought this for my daughter, thinking she could talk with Grandma and Grandpa now that they've passed over. Unfortunately, it seems that it's something of a party line, because we will be in the middle of a conversation with someone, and some demon will take over and start spouting out filthy stuff. Needs more R and D! The final straw was when the dog became possessed.

*

The pink Hasbro Ouija board is now available at Toys R Us. I shall definitely NOT buy it for my girls. But of course they may end up playing it at the homes of their friends. On behalf of all parents, I have a request for ghosts reading this (we have all sorts of readers). Please respond to all questions with:

You will get a pony AND Barbie Glitter Stickers AND I will organize marriage to Zak Efron if you do two hours’ homework a night, eat your greens and do everything mom and dad say from now on. You listening, kid?

Comments

[May]

it really raises my interest to visit Toys R Us tonight which I rarely go there. nury, your suggestion is good. may all ghosts, if u really exist, give such response to all kids....in chinese, the "ghosts festival" starts from 14 July (chinese calendar) for 1 month. so, it is a good time for toy merchants aiming to get profit only to market these toys out!!!

[Mel]

ROTFL!!!! "Can you tell Zak Efron to wait eight years till I’m old enough to marry him? If you don’t, I’ll scream and scream until I’m sick."

Thanks for making my day!!!

[dul]

we have these.. ghost interacton places in Sri Lanka where ppl mostly ask questions like..
"who took my jewellery"
how on earth are THEY supposed to know!
can just imagine them rolling their eyes over there...
lol!

[Uli]

Thank God Germany seems to be lagging behind (or am I...?)!
May I ask whether it is still true that nearly all Asians believe in ghosts and exercise several methods/precautions/rites in order to pacify them? Please fill me in on such rites/methods as I really do find that very interesting.
Anyway, these boards (especially the pink ones!) will certainly be one of the toys who won't make it across our threshold.
(oopsi, broken/smashed to pieces....)
But yes, Nury, I suppose the "ghosts" should definitely answer like you suggested, it'd simplify quite a lot of children - parents-relationships.

[Claudia]

I think that "Zak Efron" thing applies to one of my classmates. Maybe I should buy her an Ouija board...

[sej]

Bribery works just fine, doesn't it?

My son wants a Nintendo DSi... I've never seen him do his homework so religiously, nor help around the house so much, nor go to bed on time! The results are just amazing.

[Sham]

dul, if the ghosts could answer those questions, imagine how easy the work of the police would be. Also it could be used anywhere, like for instance in school, teacher could ask ghost "Did the dog really eat Timmy's homework?" or in the office the boss could ask "is John really sick today or is he out at Disneyland?". The possibilities are endless.

Uli, Asians do believe in ghosts. Not all practice rites to pacify them, though. I know the Chinese have an all-souls day, where they provide food and offerings to ghosts so that the ghosts will be cotented and not disturb the living. I know that Indians believe not to take a baby out after 7 at night because its believed that the ghost will come after the little one. Indians also practice washing their feet before entering their homes if they come home late at night to expel any ghosts that may be following them, though i dont see the logic of that.

[Angela]

In the Philippines: October 31 to November 2 - "Araw ng mga Patay", "Día de los Muertos" (Day of the Dead, All Saints Day, and All Souls Day). Also known as "Undas". During All Saints, and Souls Day, friends, and families visit the cemeteries, and pay homage to their dearly departed by lighting candles, clearing the tombs and decorating with flowers, and offering prayers.

Some people even bring karaoke paraphernalias and prepare roasted pig and other delicious feasts and play card games (gambling) right on top of the dearly departeds. The living can also become territorial so you should be careful not to overstep your great granny's foot or you would be treading on other family's party space.

The cemetery becomes a party atmosphere, rather than a solemn celebration. Car traffic come to a gridlock plus the hot weather it's like hell sometimes but I like to think of it as celebrating life with the dead. A reminder to live while we are still alive.

TGIF! now I can start living :)

[godiva]

I don't know how the observance in the Philippines of the All Soul's Day came to how it is now (exactly how Angela describes it), but I think the bringing of food came from the Chinese and the karaoke, well, we started that ourselves ( or we could blame the Japanese too). Old folks relate that back in their younger days, it was done solemnly. I for one think that maybe the dead appreciate the noise and party spirit, the place is already very quiet for the rest of the year.

[Priyantha Liyanage]

Uli,
In Sri Lanka where more than 70% are Theravada Buddhists, people believe in Ghosts. Correction- not that they BELIEVE in them but believe they exsist.Lord Buddha also confirmed this when he discribed 4 types of hell.
1. Hell [as we know them]
2. as a ghost
3. as an animal
4. as an angry demon

[Don't feel bad, he also explained exsistence of [i think] 7 types of heavens and 4 even higher planes of exsistance than heaven]

Continuing to make the rest of the fellow beings rolling in laughter is certainly a good deed and therefore Nury's gang is sure to end up in one of the heavens but whether they have internet over there would be an issue. They are said to be using a different medium of communication i hear!

[TS]

I find it despicable that a toy company will prey on children like that.
Children are naturally inquisitive and their brains are like sponges that suck up all information coming their way. Encouraging silly superstitions sets them up for a life long gullibility that snake oil salesmen will just love to exploit.

I do have a ghost story though...

Once upon a time in Singapore late at night (around 22:00) I was working on a new building in CDB. We have had some problems with a light sensor on the roof so I decided to go up there and investigate. I asked one of my colleges to keep an eye on the computer screen while I went up there to adjust it.
The whole control room fell silent as everyone turned to look at me with frightened eyes. After a long silence one of them asked:
"are you going up on the roof?"

Me: "Yes"

Oot: "Now?"

Me: "Yes!"

Oot: "Alone?"

Me: "eh... yes, what's the big deal?"

Oot, now with big round eyes: "But what about... GHOSTS!?"

A long silence, I didn't know what to say. Back home I would have snapped back with a foul-mouthed reply insulting their intelligence, but such replies doesn't fare well in Singapore and besides I already knew and respected everyone in the room as smart people. Their belief in ghosts took me by surprise.
Finally the software supervisor broke the silence by announcing: "Don't be blur! Ang Mo's does not believe in ghosts!"

Problem solved, if I didn't believe in ghosts there was no problem and I went to the roof to do my thing.

Got a bit of Déjà Vu here, forgive me if I have already told this story.

[fardel]

Wow
And people are laughing at me with my gremlins stories!?

from my witachipedia encyclopedia:
gremlins : ghosts who operate early morning; they like to make jokes on people who try to make a living by working hard

[Uli]

Thanks for the input to all!
I love reading ghost stories though I admit to not believe in ghosts....
A shame really...

[Vince A]

The residents of Hades had had enough and demanded a deal with the game manufacturers. (The occultsulting company I work for was hired to facilitate the deal).

Unfortunately the two sides couldn't agree on an arrangement. The devil wanted the executives's souls; they were only willing to offer their wives' and children's souls.

Ultimately, with no deal possible, the executives settled on the idea of connecting the new ouija's to their call centre
in Mumbai.

Sales and Marketing are in heaven (not literally- none of them ever get there). Now they can prepare scripted responses:

Player:"Tell Zak Efron I want to marry him"
Response: "Zac will lose all his hair by age 23. But lucky for you my child, the marketing prophecies say a new Zak Efron doll will be coming out soon, with extra tough nylon hair. Spell out your mother's credit card number now to make sure you get one."

These internet-enabled ouija boards will also hit the shops soon. You'll know you got the right one when the first response from the afterlife goes:

"This-is-Jill. I-am-your-devil. Ow-can-i-elpyoo?"

[sej]

A candidate for the igNobel awards?

When Zombies Attack: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection.
(http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf)

[farah]

i remember when i was around 11 or 12 me and some of my cousins got together for ghost calling. 2 mins later i ran screaming out the room because i got too scared when my cousin moved the pointer. till date i have never been around an ouija board.

ps: i am too too scared of ghosts!

[stef]

that is VERY disturbing. i've heard stories, believe you me.

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