Leeks, onions and other meats

 

Proof that Asia is a different planet: what vegetarians cannot eat

A LEEK IS A LARGE green and white vegetable which looks like a spring onion designed by Texans. It became a minor news item after being referred to on this page last week, so I was commissioned to bring one to a TV studio.

I found a huge leek, about the size and shape of a sawn-off shotgun, in a luxury delicatessen. To save the environment, I refused a plastic bag. This was a bad decision. There are not many people walking around the central business district clutching oversized vegetables. I may have started a trend.

Leeks are newsworthy because new laws in Taiwan mean they can no longer be served to vegetarians. Offenders can be fined up to US$6,000.
*
On my way to the studio, I stopped for a coffee with a Western friend who has lived in Asia for four years (ie, he’s a newbie who has no idea what’s going on around him).

“I hate to make personal comments,” he said. “But you’re carrying a large vegetable.”

I replied: “Aren’t you? You mean you don’t know about the Wednesday giant vegetable requirement?”

His eyes widened with worry, so I explained that I was joking, and this vegetable was for a TV news report that in Taiwan, leeks were now technically meat items.

“That’s also a joke, right?” he asked.
*
But it wasn’t. In Asia, people have a much broader definition of meat than Westerners.

In Thailand, many vegetarians don’t eat onions.

In Gujarat, veggies avoid beetroot.

In parts of South India, “no meat” means no carrots, tomatoes, pumpkins or radishes.

Buddhists in parts of China and Malaysia refuse to eat dishes containing chopped up pieces of poor little garlic cloves.

Brahmins in South India will not eat eggplant, Vaishnavas will not eat potatoes, and Jains would never harm an innocent mushroom.

In general, Buddhists cannot consume anything of more than eight per cent alcohol, so they would be unable to eat Mel Gibson, for example. (Yeah, I know, what a shame.)
*
There are exceptions. Sri Lankans pay lip service to these rules but in private will viciously dismember onions without a qualm.

And Hong Kongers eat everything, often forgetting to ask important questions such as “is it edible?” or “is it dead yet?”
*
There are solid scientific reasons why many folk in Asia classify vegetables as meat. Indian writings say pungent vegetables such as leeks “spring from the blood of slain demons”. (So that’s why I’ve never managed to grow them in my window box. I was using seeds.)

Because of this, vegetables are said to change the personality. You can only offer green chillies at temples, because red ones are associated with misbehavior. The same is true for leeks, which are associated with excessive passion that can lead to violence and sin.
*
Eventually I arrived at the television station, having obtained a bag to hide my leek. The guard at the building noticed the rifle-shaped item under my arm. He opened the bag and looked inside. “Nothing dangerous,” he said, handing it back to me. Little did he know.

I am going to eat the leek tonight and see if I do more than my usual amount of violence and sin. I may even garnish it with a red chilli. Be very afraid.

Technorati Tags: vegetarians,onions,leeks,garlic,asia

Comments

[fardel]

A friend of mine used to buy leeks on the street markets;
when the vendor was ready to wrap them , he would ask her to make a bouquet, in a nice flower paper
"I have a date", he would explain

[Karuna]

Leeks is one of the national emblems of Wales !

[farah]

that's how Asians are. we have different definitions for a single item. we are complicated woo hoo!!

[garthee]

This is inaccurate. I am a Sri Lankan Tamil (roots tracing back to South India) who knows many Brahmins.

1. Sri Lankans do eat onions, there is no custom / tradition / belief against that. Using a derogatory tone in that particular sentence and saying "without qualms" make the statement bit outrageous.

2. Eggplant and Mushrooms are sometimes avoided to their resemblance and unsanitary places where they grow. But neither the religion (Hinduism) nor culture (Tamil / Sri Lankan) prohibits it.

3. The abhorrence towards onions and garlics is not due the connection with meat nor because they are considered non-veg, but rather due to their smell, taste and mythical stories.

[Lakmini]

It's true that Buddhists around Asia do not eat onions, garlic etc. This is for religious reasons. My experience among my family members is that they eat anything, meat, onions, etc, most of the time, but during the holy ten days, they switch to vegetarian food, and then they avoid meat and avoid onions and garlic too.
Onion and garlic and leek are avoided because they are 'too pleasurable' in traditional Buddhist thought.

[Lakmini]

Garthee, get a sense of humour, if we sri lankans cant have a bit of fun at our own expense, what is the world coming too? you say that onions and garlcis are avoided because of their smell and taste as if it is a bad thing, but the fact is that onions and garlics make food taste wonderful, and that's the reason they are avoided at certain times of th eyear by buddhists. Its's not because they taste-smell bad but because they taste-smell good.
But you (and nury) are right when you say that Sri Lankans continue to eat onions whatever the buddhist scriptures say. anyone who has tasted mallung, which is a dish made of onion cabbage and coconut will know why!!! delicious.

[Angela]

We use lots of onion and garlic in Singaporean cuisine. To take that 'pleasure' away is cruel, seeing that we don't get much opportunities for other pleasurable activities.

On a different note, my flatmate once asked her boyfriend who was coming over for lunch to pass by the supermarket on his way and get some spring onions which she wanted to use to flavour the soup. He arrived about 10 minutes later with a bouquet of leeks which he picked from the vegetable section, following her instruction and description of the item.

She was not very pleased, of course.

At first I suspected it might be the male-female differences causing the miscommunication but then I thought also that it could be because she speaks Mongolian English and he speaks Japanese English and somewhere in between the spring onion got lost in translation and became leeks.

As a general rule, I don't trust a guy to do my grocery shopping for me ;-)

[alv]

I also understand that Chinese (Buddhist) vegetarians are allowed to consume dried oysters / mussels; somehow these are considered vegetables.

[Sen]

Now if you had asked nicely the shop would have chopped off the green bits which no one eats anyway and of course rimmed the root bits and then you could have passed the leek of as a stoutish cane for the visually challenged.
And you would have gotten a seat on the MTR without the usual coughing.

[Sham]

I thought garlics and onions were avoided becaise they were aphrodisiacs..

Btw, garthee, how do they grow eggplants and mushrooms where you come from?

[Angela]

I think eggplants are frowned upon for their shape which bears striking resemblance to some objectionable male anatomy whilst the wild mushrooms are known to grow on animal dung and dead wood.

Talking about food makes me hungry. think I will go to the supermarket later to fondle some eggplants, I like mine long and firm to the touch. Eggplants and mushroom sauteed in garlic and onion..I can smell it already...so yummy..so sinful.

[Lisa]

I totally agree with the belief that certain "vegetables" cause the consumer to misbehave. The other day i was on the minibus and some guy who must've eaten some really horrid vegetable misbehaved by filling the entire vehicle with some foul-smelling odour. I seriously gagged and had to open the window to let in Kowloon's toxic fumes as a counterbalance to Mr. Stinky's misbeahviour.

[Priyantha Liyanage]

Come on guys,No where has Lord Buddha said to eat or not to eat meat or be a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian. So long as one does not get involved directly [or by direct consent for killing] even meat eating is not considered as an offence. The sin [craving} is created by not "what" you eat but by "how" you eat. A vegan might indulge in a 100% vegetarin diet with absolute craving and thus creating the "sin". It is the "gratification" that makes the sin. Lord Buddha toiled for an un-imaginably number of "lives" not to present a menu card for people but to show a way out of the suffering by vicious cycle of life & death crated mainly due to craving. Sorry for being sooo boring and i am off for lunch [vege - of course]...

[Sham]

Angela, what do you mean by 'objectionable'??? No objections here.

[Sen]

Angela is what is known in the trade as a food porn aficionado and accounts for a large proportion of bruised veggies offered at cut price.Outside the trade they are referred to as turnip humpers.
I say whatever rocks your boat baby!

[Angela]

Excuse moi, but i touch only what i will buy so i did not single handedly (pun unintended) bruise all those eggplants. But dont u just wish you are an eggplant waiting for my next trip to the grocery?

To Sham - i said 'objectionable' only in an attempt to explain garthee's comment above. Otherwise i also have no objection :-)

[fardel]

Not being very familiar with the English/ asian language i looked for "objectionable" in an encyclopedia:The Vittachipedia:
This is what i found

objectionable :word of Singlish" origin used worldwide among communities deprived of the freedom of thought.
It is an attribute to products or objects originally produced or designed for a different ( more useful) purpose, like balloons, carrots, leeks, egg plants and so on.
In those freedom-deprived communities, they get a new meaning , which my mother does not allow me to explain here;
There are much in use in Asian Litterature ( i. e these columns ) , from people we think of as angels;
The following examples should help you understand the meaning of this very suspicious word:

from a nun school ( it could be somewhere else)
" Sisters , today , for lunch we shall serve carrots
- Haaaaaaaaaaaa
- Grated, as a salad
- Hoooooooooooooo"

from S'Pore
"rubbing my balloons to make electricity"

" I like my egg plants long and firm to the touch"

After reading these explanations I still do not understand how it relates to garthee's comments, but it seems that it is very frown upon by the Master:
" Hey guys leave Axxxxxxx's balloons alone"

[TS]

To rephrase Sigmund Freud: "Sometimes an eggplant is just an eggplant".

[Chamin]

Hi Fardel,

You deliberately wrote "Litterature", didn't you? :-p

(Interestingly, that seems to be the French spelling of the word)

[Sham]

Wow Chamin, i didnt notice Litterature until u pointed it out. Very observant.

Sorry TS, I agree with Angela.. sometimes an eggplant is not just an eggplant.. And dont destroy fantasies of Singaporeans. They have the government for that:)

[fardel]

wow
Like Sham, I did not notice litterature until you pointed it out;
As a matter of fact ,I had to read this comment again to see that it was there;
I wonder who put it there!
( maybe my head was spinning out of control with those stories of balloons, leeks and turnips )

[Antony]

I think I have joined the group of people who read these columns mainly for the comments. sorry Nury!

[Nury]

So have I!

[Christy]

Okayyyyyy, we've got to redraw the food pyramid now that onion, leek and garlic has to be removed from the "veggies and fruits" section!

Taiwanese people really eat weird. They have this disgusting snack called "Pig's blood jelly" everywhere, even in convenience stores! It's a dark red wobbly cube. Made with the blood of pigs. Ewwwww.

[Antony]

Sometimes i look around and i think how boring, asia is becoming just like cities in the west. but then i stumble upon something like this which reminds us that in Asia, onions are a type of meat, pleasure is officially a bad things, and pigs blood is a jelly snack, and it reminds me that Asia is still a wild and crazy place.

[Sen]

Boring? Boring!
never
not when I can put in a Ceylonese Limerick [aren't they all?]

A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with what, and to whom

[Angela]

whoa! it's getting hot in here...temp is rising and the news channel says it's el niño? I think it's all these comments posted here :)

[Uli]

Sen, your limerick is really good! :-)
BTW, I'm getting hungry from all those delicious veggies and ingredients. What's for lunch today.....?

[fardel]

Ratatouille
Eggplants, zucchinis,green peppers, tomatoes, simmered with garlic and mediterranean herbs ,and served with your choice of:
- grilled tuna steak
- sauteed pork chop
-sauteed chicken leg
( you can as well let the chicken leg cook slowly in the vegetables, in this case it is called chicken à la Basquaise)
- frog legs (objectionable)
- or monster prawns, slowly cooked in the vegetable (preferably slightly cooked)

Do not forget a little touch of hot pepper : Espelette, or Cayenne are the most appropriate for this dish

For dessert , fresh strawberries in sour or sweet cream
Bon appétit!

[Shaik Anwar Ahamath]

In the red light district near where I live, women buying carrots, cucumbers and tomatoes are eyed suspiciously as they are considered sex toys. I can vaguely understand the functions of carrots and cucumbers, but tomatoes? I wish some sex aficionado will enlighten me.

[Tanvir Ahsan]

I can't help imagining a world where there are only budsdists, all those indians and all those vegetables. (we can excuse the bipedes and the quadropedes). I feel terribly sorry that i can't hlep the curousity to watch what they feed on.

[Uli]

Fardel, that sounds delicious! :-)
Besides writing great thoughts and comments, being what seems to have savoir-vivre (in the very best sense of the word, you also seem to be a great cook!!

[Tara]

By the way, there is a website all about carrots.
http://www.carrotmuseum.co.uk/
So many ways to waste time...