Weird car names

The real reason why most pop songs which mention autos stick to US brands

THE COLLAPSE OF General Motors triggered an urgent call to my desk. “Can you help me write a song about an Asian car brand?” The caller was an amateur musician friend whose songs are totally brilliant, except for the words and the music.

He realized there was a massive gap in the market when numerous TV news reports about the US car firm bankruptcy said Cadillac and Chevy cars are mentioned in literally hundreds of pop songs.

Remember the chorus of American Pie? “Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.” Or that Billy Joel song Moving Out which goes: “Traded in my Chevy for a Cadillac-ack-ack-ack-ack.”

My singer friend had a point. Why must all global pop culture be based on US cars? It was unfair.

I headed down to the street where the car showrooms are to do some research. I noticed that cars from GM had names associated with burning, like Pontiac Firebird and Trailblazer. That was kinda weird. GM also has the Avalanche, a car named after a type of disaster, and the Citation, seemingly named after a traffic offence. The American Motor Corp once launched a car called the Gremlin, a word which means “irritating problem”. 

European cars were worse. They have codes for names, so cannot be mentioned in songs: “Oh what fun it is to ride in my BMW E9 2800CS.” See what I mean? A few European cars do have names. There’s a car in Italy called the Volugrafo Bimbo (Italian for “Car with stupid name, mainly for blondes”). 

Asian cars have names which are just daft, to put it kindly. From China comes a brand of pick-up truck called the Rural Nanny. Geely, a major car maker in China, makes a car called the King Kong. This might make sense if was big and dangerous, but it’s as tiny and meek as a Japanese Prime Minister. Indian car names are sleep-inducing: there’s the Mahindra Classic and the Padmini. Those names won’t get anyone excited.

From Japan we get weird names like the Honda Life Dunk and the Daihatsu Naked. Isuzu makes vehicles called the Mysterious Utility and the Light Dump (don’t ask). Mazda makes a car called the Bongo. Toyota has the Deliboy. Nissan has the Prairie Joy. Mitsubishi makes a car called the Pistachio. Why would anyone name car after something small, green and wrinkled? Is ET the target market?

I could not see how an Asian car could fit into a song like American Pie. “Drove my Daihatsu Charade to the levy but the levy was dry.” It just didn’t have the right ring to it.

But there needs to be songs about eastern cars. The biggest market for motors is Asia, and the biggest selling global brand is Toyota. So I set to work. I found two problems. First, the top Asian cars, such as Toyota, are reliable, but ugly and boring. Second, not many words rhyme with Toyota. The best I could do is this:

My car is really dull, it’s a Toyota

I had to pay a premium (there’s an import quota)

I wash it every Sunday on a cleaning rota

I think I’ll buy a Chevy, move to Dakota.

Somehow I don’t think it’s gonna be a hit.

 

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Comments

[Uli]

Nury, you should open up a marketing agency in order to provide the car companies with better names!
Let's brainstorm a bit, shall we?
How about "Roadrunner" for a small but fast car- or "The Chariot" for family purposes.
My favourite still is the "Duck" as a german nickname for the Citroen 2CV :-))

[Erik]

The song "Skinny legs" by Lyle Lovett actually has a Blue Toyota in it:

And see that boy with that guitar
He's got a blue toyota like I always wanted
A japanese girl in his car
It's a blue toyota like I always wanted
Sister look at me again
You'd love me if I were a driver like him

[Lisa]

I don't agree with that last line about washing your car with a rota. In HK, isn't it the helpers who wash the cars?

[Nury]

Amazing. Who'd have thought there would be a song with a Toyota in it. And even more amazing, the guy is saying that the girl would love him if he were the driver of a Toyota.

I drive a Toyota and I am confirm, a chick magnet it is NOT.

I think Mr Lovett must have been thinking of something else, like an MG soft-top.

[TS]

The Danish band TV2 had a song called Fantastiske Toyota.

A Toyota fanboy with too much time on his hand made a YouTube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq1OBYT9PS0

Don't burn your brain, the lyrics doesn't even make sense if you understand Danish, but that's been the stable of pop music since Stock, Aitken and Waterman.

[fardel]

In France , we used to give names to the cars when they did not have any
the 2 cv Citroën became the deux pattes ( two legs) or deudeuche
the 4Cv became the quatre pattes ( four legs )
If not we would call them Titine ( especially when they were old and breaking most of the time )
Some manufacturers came with beautiful names
We got the DS ( pronouneced Deesse : which means goddess)
The Dauphine ( princess) , the Frégate ( frigate),the Caravelle,
the Aronde ( the sparrow) the Bagheera, theManta,
the Alpine (the mountainer),
the Clio ( an ancient goddess), the Megane ( a fairy)
We got the Chambord, Versailles, ( named from famous French Castles)
My memory stops there

Our Traction was famous , seen in every WWII movie
The Peugeot 203 , a boxy car, was famous in the USA (Lt Colombo's car)
i am not familiar enough with music to remember if there was any mention to them, but these cars were in my generation's hearts:
We did not have much money:we would buy a old car for really cheap, get spare parts from a salvage company, or take a year to rebuild one car out of two,
Off we went to visit the country ,until the car broke down in the middle of nowhere, preferably at night (those car had a mind of their own )
Our companions did not seem to mind to have to sleep in a hay stack or under the car.
It is not surprising that the Americans with their huge beautiful country have built a bond with their car to the point that they cars appear in songs

The new generation of cars do not have a soul, and the new generation of drivers ( and their passengers) do not know what they have missed;
the modern cars ,in a modern town have turned into a nightmare ( unless one is a westerner, renting a car in an Asian country ,This is fun)

[Ricardo Cabeza]

Mitsubishi sells a sport, utility vehicle (SUV) in Asia with the name "Pajero". In the UK it is, for some reason, sold as a "Shogun" and here in South America it's, for reasons that will become obvious in a moment, a "Montero". The reason is that Mitsubishi very quickly discovered, after introducing the vehicle, that "pajero" is, in S American Spanish, ie Chile, Argentina, Uruguay, pronounced pah-hare-oh and means the same thing as the English word that starts with "W" and rhymes with "banker". And that's the truth. You wouldn't catch me driving one! But it does cause endless amusement to those who know the meaning. Thank you, Mitsubishi.

[Jan]

There IS a song which lists the various makes of vehicle from Asia! It is sung to the tune of the male chorous from 'The Mikado' by Gilbert and Sullivan - [ the first words are 'Miyasma miyasama' - phonetic spelling]. the modern version first line runs :
Mitsubishi, Mitsubishi, Honda Honda, Toyota!

I think it was an advertisement? If anyone knows all the words I would love to hear them?

[Faith Simpson Ratnayake]

I've been planning to write on car names, but since you've done such a good job I can relax and think of something else while crammed into a 25-seater bus with 65 other passengers, Sri Lanka style. My favourite is the NOAH van - safest place to be with climate change bringing typhoons and floods - it would float.

[CJ Reza]

I do not agree with two of your comments.

#1 you have written :

“I noticed that cars from GM had names associated with burning, like Pontiac Firebird and Trailblazer. That was kinda weird.”

The blaze in “Trailblazer” has nothing to do with burning or fire. It is derived from one of the meanings of the word blaze, as is shown in the following definition from dictionary (you may like to google the word for meanings, as I have done).

Blaze is "a mark made on a tree, as to mark a trail, by cutting off a piece of bark"

The other comment relates to Indian car names; you have written :

“Indian car names are sleep-inducing: there's the Mahindra Classic and the Padmini. Those names won't get anyone excited.”

I am sure you are familiar with Kamasutra, which you have used as a title in one of your books. The following extract from Kamasutra would indicate that Padmini (as defined below) would get most male heterosexuals (of any age) excited. If Padminis do not "get anyone (read : male) excited", nothing will.

From Kamasutra :

Padmini : She in whom the following signs and symptoms appear is called a Padmini. Her face is pleasing as the full moon; her body, well clothed with flesh, is soft as the Shiras or mustard flower, her skin is fine, tender and fair as the yellow lotus, never dark coloured. Her eyes are bright and beautiful as the orbs of the fawn, well cut, and with reddish corners. Her bosom is hard, full and high; she has a good neck; her nose is straight and lovely, and three folds or wrinkles cross her middle - about the umbilical region. Her yoni resembles the opening lotus bud, and her love seed ( Kama salila) is perfumed like the lily that has newly burst. She walks with swan-like gait, and her voice is low and musical as the note of the Kokila bird, she delights in white raiments, in fine jewels, and in rich dresses. She eats little, sleeps lightly, and being as respectful and religious as she is clever and courteous, she is ever anxious to worship the gods, and to enjoy the conversation of Brahmans. Such, then, is the Padmini or Lotus woman.

Nury : Good luck with Padminis; unfortunately you cannot blaze a trail - many others have beaten you during thousands of years.

[Insurance Blogger]

Your blog is really awesome. I really liked reading it. Thank you for sharing such nice and interesting post.

[Tattoo Designer]

Wow its looking really great buddy.

[Tattoo Designer]

Wow its looking really great buddy.

[moving quotes]

I love the italian cars names, Mito, Julieta, Quatrepunto, Brava, all sound romantic and chick. I wonder if Italians mentioning those names in their songs.

[seo arizona]

It could be very helpful in our environment.

[Jerry]

i hate to tell you this, but Don McLean and Billy Joel aren't pop, they're classic rock. most songs before 1987 are rock, not pop.

[Leisa Dreps]

I could understand the older model being given that name, but the newer ones; that's just priceless.

Speaking of naming a car, watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCaT-b4CtDs&feature=related

[Blake Reina]

Yeah, I love that song by Don McLean. So American. And yup Asian cars have very interesting names. Some names are cool like Land Cruiser or Excelsior, however some doesn't exactly ring a bell like what you said above. But it's not the name that makes a car great, it's the looks and the performance. Although I have to admit, most of the macho car names are from Europe, only a Lamborghini could be named "Diablo" and get away with it, hehehe.

[Tari Ledsome]

Yeah, Asian car names are cool and informal, unlike our cars here which have formal names. And I like your artistry when it comes to poetry. You are one word master! Cheers!