Epitaph for the word ‘literally’

If you believe what people say, schools are literally places of horror

BEWARE. THE WORLD has become so dangerous lately that I am no longer prepared to go unarmed into places associated with high rates of violence, such as kindergartens.

It’s true. A friend of mine was talking about his wife, who started work at a pre-school.

“The kids were so cute and lively,” he said. “They literally slew her.”

I was shocked. “That’s terrible,” I said. No wonder preschoolers wear aprons. Slaying people is really messy.

Reeling from this news, I fled to my computer where MSN featured an interview with an actor playing Santa Claus in the United States.

It was a tough job, he said, adding: “I’ve had children literally tear my heart out.”

Eww. And I thought MY kids were naughty. Even in their worst tantrums, none of them have ripped out my internal organs (yet). If they have done so at school, teachers have said nothing about it in their school reports.

Where did children learn how to disembowel people?

Maybe from books. National Public Radio, a US broadcaster, carried a report on children’s book writer Alison McGhee: “McGhee says that in Someday, her ninth book, she literally put her heart on the page.”

That must have hurt. Did she do the surgery herself? Or get one of the kids who recently practiced organ removal on Santa Claus to do it?

Violence is all around us. Watching a game show on an Asian satellite channel, I heard the presenter say about a young female contestant: “She literally blew her competitors away.”

On Canadian television, actress Jamie Lee Curtis said: "How many college students do we hear in their freshman year literally explode? They explode with drugs and alcohol, they explode with sex, they explode with eating, they explode with not being able to get work done on time. These people are exploding."

This extreme mayhem is not limited to the world of education. I got a call from a woman who had forced her workaholic husband to take time off to go and see a live comedy show with his buddies. “Did he like it?” I asked.

She replied: “He literally died laughing.”

I didn’t know how to respond to this. “Oh. How are you and the children taking it?” I asked.

She replied: “We’re delighted, of course.”

To escape from all this carnage, I retreated to my sofa and the TV remote. But the idiot box was also full of violence.

On an Asian sports channel, I heard a commentator say: “They literally cut the other team to shreds.”

On Fox News a reporter said: “Court observers saw a key defense witness literally melt down on the stand."

On a cable lifestyle show heard a woman say: “I’m literally working my fingers to the bone, crawling the walls and pulling out my hair.” (If her fingers are just bones how can she use them pull out her hair, let alone climb walls with them?)

But the most baffling statement came from an entertainer. Singer Naomi Judd appeared on the Larry King talk show on CNN. She said: "We literally become whatever we think about all day."

That makes me a dish of chicken and potato curry. I’m dangerous too, but only to your waistline.

 

Technorati Tags: literally,misused

Comments

[Ian McArthur]

That's definitely it Nury.... I'm staying in bed... it's far too dangerous out there...

[Stevedore]

wow, it's really shocking how many famous people say stupid things. Or maybe it isn't!!

Memo to Miss Judd. If we are LITERALLY what we think about all day, I am a beautiful woman in a bikini.

You wouldn't want to see me in a bikini.

[TS]

These people literally need to look up the word "literally" in a dictionary.
While they are at it, they might as well look up the word "paradoxically" and learn that it can not replace "ironically". It's the same breed of people.

On that note, I'm thinking about organising a politically correct car race. Each driver will only have one litre of fuel available and if no one crosses the finish line, the car that went furthest will be the winner.
I shall call this event "The Literally".
Don't worry, if there's a circle in hell reserved for people spouting bad jokes, I will surely have a VIP spot.

[sej]

Well, actually, really, seriously...

In the late 1800's, a guy who went by the name of Anatole France said something like...

"It is human nature to think wisely, but act in an absurd fashion."

I've simplified this to...

"People are stupid."

It is amazing just how liberating accepting this rule is.

[Ellen]

Literally and ironically are nearly always used wrongly these days, thanks for highlighting these words. Somebody still cares about language!!

[Lisa]

I've been told that sarcastic and ironic can be used interchangeably. Is this a literal twoof?

[Uli]

I plead guilty because I sometimes say that "I literally die laughing reading Nury's column" ...

[Vince A]

I'll have to literally paste back some of the scales that fell from your eyes.

Although literally speaking, the word 'literally' means something to be taken precisely as it is worded, it is also a literary device used for hyperbole and for added Ooomph!

This usage is widespread, is not 'wrong', does not contribute to global warming, and is included as another use in dictionaries like Merriam-Webster, Cambridge, and grudgingly by the American Heritage.

Charles Dickens used it (1867): "...after he had literally feasted his eyes in silence upon the culprit"

Alexander Pope (1708) used it: "Every day with me is literally another yesterday for it is exactly the same"

So, at least in Pope's and Dickens' world, college students can literally explode.

(I detest like such usage though, and would literally shrivel in embarrassment if caught using it).

[Uli]

Vince A: I really like the expression of "added oomph"! It literally adds colour to otherwise black writing on white background ;-)

[Mike Munson]

Nury you are quite sarcastic today....or sardonic?

[Nury]

Vince, nice try to justify the mistaken use of 'literally'. But I ain't scared of taking on famous writers or dictionaries!

I've heard the argument you present before. All it really means is that Big Name writers in history (just like other celebrities) mis-use words from time to time.

As for the dictionaries which "allow" this use of the word, that can also be explained.

Dictionary writers, trying to be politically correct, these days always say that they are "describing" language, but not "proscribing" it. That is, they are recording the meaning of words as they are used, not laying down rules about how they should be used.

This is fine. But some dictionary writers take this one step further by listing all possible uses and mis-uses of a word, without differentiating them in any way.

The result of this is that precision, which is the finest trait of certain languages (such as English and French) is tragically lost.

Of course, there will be always be a few people who enjoy using words with a bit of skill, such as this gang here, and we will gravitate together!

Mike -- I'm impressed. Not many people know that there's a difference between sarcastic and sardonic. Wow, what a learned group this is!

Mind you, I'm not really sure what the difference is. I think of "sarcastic" as saying one thing while meaning the opposite, and "sardonic" as being sarcastic in a somewhat bitter way. Is that right? Do you know, Vince?

[Vince A]

Hi Nury, I don't like the non-literal use of 'literal' and wasn't seriously defending it. Writing that uses literally illiterally should be dumped litorally.

It was only last night that I found out that dictionaries actually included the misuse (thanks to TS who suggested looking things up in the dictionary)

My own memory aid on how I understand the difference (which may or may not be correct): Sarcastic is caustic. Sardonic is when all you have for dinner is a can of sardines and you say you 'can't wait for dinnertime'

Was Nury being sarcastic or sardonic? I think he was just being satiric.

[Harry]

How about "decimate"? I t does not mean "to kill most", as anyone who knows what a "decimal" is should realise. The army literally decimated the population when they killed one in ten.

[Catherine]

i once questioned abbreviations such as LMAO, ROFL and the likes...
Well, imagine if you do it 'literally"...

[Ricardo]

An American colleague of mine when joining in the general outage at a new edict from our company's management said, "This company can do literally anything it wants to us."
I asked, "You mean it can hang us for turning up late?"
"Don't be ridiculous! I said, 'literally'."

[Nury]

Maybe your company is from Western Africa, Ricardo. In some places there they can hang you for turning up late. It wouldn't surprise me if those policies were adopted far and wide.

Harry, thanks for adding to the list of commonly misued words -- decimate is a rather mild attack, as you say.

Catherine, I appeared a few times on stage with another children's book writer, Philip Adagh, and we aimed to LITERALLY make kids fall of their seats and roll on the floor laughing. Happy to say we succeeded!

Vince, nice to get some intelleckshul discussion on language going!

[Karuna]

Found this funny article by a writer from Chennai,South India.

Adding it to this intelleckshul discussion here.

http://newstodaynet.com/col.php?section=20&catid=32&id=16766

[fardel]

I just went to this site

Excellent !
But I am disappointed:I thought that there as only one Nury on the planet

[Paul Parry]

Literally unbelievable. It's everywhere. But together - we can put a stop to all this misuse of the L-word!

[DKS]

A couple favorite quotes:
"...I've literally turned them into monsters"
-Paris Hilton on Jimmy Kimmel Live talking about the contestents of her "BFF" show

"Britney Spears is literally on a rollercoaster to Hell"
-A health expert commenting on the mentally challenged singer's Taco Bell diet

[armada]

i'm literally gonna split my spleen!