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A visit to Japan

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Today, this columnist has decided to adopt Japanese standards of politeness. You see, there’s ordinary politeness, and there’s Japanese politeness, a different thing altogether.

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Last week, a Canadian was crossing the border into the United States when a border guard told him to turn his car off. Desiderio Fortunato asked the officer to "say please". The guard repeated his order. The motorist repeated his request. The officer blinded the motorist with pepper spray, dragged him out of his car, handcuffed him and detained him for three hours. This is how American border guards say, "Welcome to our country, honoured guest."

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Compare Japan. In that country, everyone spends so much time saying "please" and "thank you" that it takes several hours to exchange even the tiniest bit of information, such as, "You are standing on my foot."

And you don't just use words. You bow. The more polite you are, the lower you bow. Losing your balance and collapsing onto your boss's wife's knees is quite common and is considered an extremely polite thing to do.

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Take a ride on the Gomen Nahari Line, a railway in Kochi Prefecture and you'll find one station is called Arigato, which means "thank you", and another is Gomen, which means "sorry". Turning the pair into Thank You Station and Sorry Station was the idea of Takashi Yanase, 85. Mr Takashi is famed for his original thinking, being the creator of the cartoon superhero Anpanman, a bean paste-filled roll of bread which fights crime with superhuman (super-bakery-item?) powers. I’m serious.

The obvious question, at least to anyone non-Japanese, is: Why? Why do they have those names? What is Thank You station thankful for, and what is Sorry station apologizing for?

There’s no answer to this. Polite terms do not need a reason to be uttered. "Just saying 'sorry' and 'thank you' together makes you feel good," Yanase says.

The Japanese, like the British, scatter polite terms around like confetti to create a general feeling of positivity. Summit meetings between Japanese and British delegations often run out of time before the first item on the agenda, because of the sheer scale of pleasantries involved.

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Last week, a US sports reporter attended a Tokyo baseball match. "At the end of games, the players bow toward the field, and even the losing team," wrote an amazed Bob Sherwin of the Seattle Sports Examiner. "That's such a wonderful tradition and I believe you will find it only in Asia."
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But you can take the whole politeness thing too far. In Japan, people have bowed on railway platforms and had their heads hit by trains.

There have been cases where two individuals have met and bowed simultaneously, knocking each other out.

Escalators in Japan are REALLY dangerous places. People going down recognize someone going up, and they bow, losing their balance and causing fatal accidents.

But no one complains about it. That would not be polite.

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Comments

[Balaji Perumal]

The Japanese are so polite, they dont have a word for "No" in their language which is very interesting.

[guilt ridden]

I'm sorry I had to laugh at those last few lines, where the japanese are bowing in front of trains and having their heads knocked off! it's really horrible bt it's also really funny

[angela]

Last week I was queuing up behind 2 Japanese ladies at the bus stop and when the bus arrived it took 5 minutes for all of us to get in because the two women in front of me keep nodding to each other and saying "Douzo" to each other repeatedly until one woman finally got on first. If I were a kiasu singaporean I would be peeved by all the fuss and walk past them but I am also a foreigner and I was just standing there as if in a trance, amazed by the display of courtesy.

When we all got in and tapped our EZlink card, I walked passed them to stand in the middle section but the two were once again stuck at the bottom of the stairs going to the top deck because once more they were slightly bowing and "douzo-ing" each other...I couldn't figure out how many times and how does one know who should go first? is there a rule to follow?
I was just amazed :)

[Dancer]

Yeah, bowing is a must and it doesn't just happen in Japan either. If you're involved with any Japanese traditional arts teachers in Hong Kong, you always have to reserve at least 15 minutes at the end of each meeting for bowing and saying goodbye. Polite but not very efficient, really. Your neck muscles do become more flexible though.

Anytime any traditional arts big shots from Japan come to Hong Kong, we always block any hotel lobby that he/she happens to be in just by standing in a straight line and bowing consistently. The number of 'we' depends on how big is the 'big shot'. This exercise usually lasts for more than 15 minutes. Needless to say, we're not very popular with the hotel staff. Local people and tourists alike usually look at us with incredulity.

[Dancer]

There is no rule as to how many 'douzo'. Usually you just keep on going until one gives in. However, if you're with your boss/senior/anybody seemingly scary and powerful, no matter how he/she insists, you don't back down. Let them go first. This will avoid future bloodshed.

[Stevadore]

lol!I thought Nury was joking when he said that they keep bowing and then run out of time for the meeting tiself. Bt the stories from Angela and Dancer make me realize that there is no exaggeration at all!

this is my question. despite the criticism of ultra-polite societies like japan, when will the day come when singapore and hong kong and ESPECIALLY china willbecome more polite? I travel a lot and I get so fed up of being knocked over at train doors and at ticket windows.
these days I always let people go in front of me if we arrive at the turnstile at roughly the same time.
They never say thank you, so i just bark "thankyou" at the time. My point is that someone should say thank you ad if they are not going to do it I might as well do it.
They usually just give me a strange look as if to say why did that guy let me go first and then say thank you?
but hopefully something will stick deep down in their subsconscious which will connect "being allowed to go first" with "saying thank you."

[Chaminda]

I came to Japan for the first time after staying a year in Singapore. The difference in politeness alone was enough to give me a huge culture shock.

To understand how appreiciable politeness (not fake smile) is,
talk to the Japanese air hostess if you are flying Singapore Airlines.

[Piya]

Oops!, I just knocked my monitor down.
Arigatho Nuri!!

[Tokyo Joe]

They've been trying to stop people bowing on escalators for years. It's so dangerous. But Mr Average Salaryman would rather die than miss a chance to bow.

So he does bow.

And he does die.

[Mikyu]

@ Balaji Perumal: There is a word for "no" in Japanese. It's "iie" :)

Anyway, seriously? That happens in Japan? The accidents and stuffs? That cracked me up! Hahahaha. But really, I do think Japanese people are very polite! I even wish Filipinos have the bowing thing too. Hehehe. :P

[Angela]

Mikyu, Filipinos have "Po" which is as polite as bowing but definitely less dangerous. And you can do it in the escalator and mrt without risk of losing your head, no?

[Santox]

It's interesting to know further how the Japanese acquired this bowing custom of 'douzo'; so reflective of their courteous culture.

But to overdo it, like you mentioned, could endanger the people involved, like bowing to a hit-on at a railway platform and bowing to fatality on an escalator.

It appears that Japanese would bow only to their own people; and practise shaking hands with other nationals. I would be amused at the scene when a foreigner wants to sample the Japanese bowing of 'douzo', bows and his Japanese counterpart stretches out his hand readying to shake but managed to 'pat' the other person's head.

[JR East]

The danger is when someone waiting on one train platform sees someone richer or older on the next platform.

They immediately forget about the approaching train, bow low, right over the track, and --- bang.

From their point of view, it's not funny at all. But it is such a silly way to go that it;s hard for the rest of us not to lol.

[zÆRo]

This does bring into view how impolite our society is now. I mean, in HK, I get all sorts of wierd looks just because I bothered to give people a curt nod and a "thanks" when I get served in restaurants and etc.

[Gina]

Nury, you are wickedly funny! In Bangladesh we just say 'assalam wa laikum' keeping our postures straight, bowing to people is actually against our religion, although culturally we still do touch the feet of our elderlies when greeting them or parting with them. It's a step further than the Japanese bow - as we have to touch people's toes!

[Nury]

Gina, thanks for the information -- that was news to me.
Wow, touching my feet would be a truly abasing experience. You could catch all sorts of diseases. It reminds me of that bit in the Bible where Jesus insists on washing the disciples' feet. I guess it's a pretty long tradition.
My friends tell me that foot massages are really relaxing but they don't work for me. I am too ticklish.

[Muhmood Zubair]

Responding to Mr. Balaji Perumal's post,...There is a word for "NO" in Japanese and that is "IIE"....But what is interesting is that they say "NO" in such a way that you would think they agree with you when they don't....

[Hisa]

Chigaimasu is a stronger word for NO

but you really dont hear people say it unless there are arguing

sometimes you dont even hear it even they ARE arguing

[sej]

"I am too ticklish"

Someone once told me, being ticklish means you are not or will not be frightened by your wife.

I doubt this is true, but I can certainly understand where the idea comes from.

Just thought I'd share a little tid-bit that just seemed to have come from nowhere.