Shocking news for drinkers in a US scientific journal
« February 2009 | Main | April 2009 »
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Monday, 30 March 2009
The real reason for anti-banker fury
As the board of AIG (above) celebrate their bonuses, bankers complain that the media is treating them unfairly
Friday, 27 March 2009
We are all becoming phone-starers
Booklover Nury Vittachi reveals why he joined the phone-gazers
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Downturn humor
In a huge crash, you have to laugh or you’ll cry, reporter Nury Vittachi discovers
There are two types of exerciser
Some people gear up, while others don’t, says cheapskate Nury Vittachi
Monday, 23 March 2009
The world's least accurate holiday brochures
Holidays to remember always start by disregarding everything it says on the brochure
Continue reading "The world's least accurate holiday brochures" »
Friday, 20 March 2009
The truth about electric cars
Small, cute and irresistible, and that’s just the columnist reviewing the new electric car
Thursday, 19 March 2009
Bra saves woman’s life
We should all be educated in how to give wedgies, reports Nury Vittachi
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
How to write an international pop hit
It takes special skill to write song lyrics that listeners worldwide will love
Tuesday, 17 March 2009
The financial community apologizes
Yes, the bankers are finally saying sorry to you and me
Monday, 16 March 2009
Friday, 13 March 2009
The Wildly Inaccurate Instructions trick
An incendiary apple puff mystery; the literary festival becomes a love-fest; and grumbles over a world poetry prize
Continue reading "The Wildly Inaccurate Instructions trick" »
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Animal sounds around the world
If you are going to get something disastrously wrong, get it wrong in front of a HUGE crowd. That's my motto.
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
Truthful slogans for Asia
WARNING: The following article, on truthful slogans, was rated “hilarious but too cheeky to be publishable” by top international magazines. Read at your own risk.
Monday, 09 March 2009
Getting mommy arrested
Think hard before having your parents arrested, especially if I am one of them, says Nury Vittachi
Friday, 06 March 2009
How to fix the world
Move over, white males – it’s time for non-white women to have a go at running the world, reports Nury Vittachi.
Thursday, 05 March 2009
The disappearing mustaches mystery
Quick. To the bathroom. Grab the razor.
Wednesday, 04 March 2009
An invitation to you
COME AND SEE ME! Readers who are in Hong Kong please catch up with me any time next week.
Readers put me right regarding records
The world's spottiest bottom has been located. A reader claims to have found it.
Tuesday, 03 March 2009
How to get your bail-out
MEMO
TO: The global financial authorities, comprising:
The International Monetary Fund
The World Bank
The World Trade Organization
The central banks of all countries, and
My wife.
FROM: The typical Asian consumer.
Become a Fan
JOIN US
Search
How to add a pic
- Click here
Then use the “Choose File” button and find the picture on your computer. See the word "Resize"? Choose: "Website/email", and upload. In a box called "HTML For Website" you'll find a code to paste into your comment
FREE subscriptions
- Fill in your email and you'll never miss an issue. We don't pass your email address to anyone else, and you can cancel easily with a click from any issue.
Recent Posts
The Diary is Open
Trapped on a mad planet called Earth, NURY VITTACHI and his gang record the absurd customs of Earthling "society". These diary notes appear regularly in newspapers and magazines, and on TV, radio and the Internet, in at least 10 countries. Join the gang. Send ideas using the email link at the top, or get published immediately by using the comment function at the end of each diary entry.- Readers Digest
- Bloomberg TV
- The Standard
- The Daily Star
- The Island
- The Sun
- Macau Post Daily
- Jakarta Post
- Today
Comment on these
- Celebs are above the law
- New passport rules
- Poetry is coming back
- The immigration officer's smile
- Super tutor is here
- No more check-in queues, ever
- Passport photo madness
- Device detects emotion in stockbrokers
- A visit to Germany
- Europeans export curry sauce to Asia
- I like paying tax
- Human gas emissions and global warming
- Mr J meets the Prince of Denmark
- The physical difference between males and female
- Crime writer's secret
- Wrong number of death
- Fictional folk complain about authors
- Twitters from dead celebrities
The Information
- The Writers' Village
You can be an author too: click here for essential stuff for writers and readers - Books he's written
Under the names "Nury Vittachi", "Sam Jam" and "Lai See" - Press Reviews
What the papers say about Nury's books
Classic columns
- Does Asian Humor Exist?
- That Fast Food Conversation
- Guide to Global Motoring Styles
- New Words for a New Era
- When SARS Stalked Asia
- Asia Has Too Much Press Freedom
- Why This Stuff Is Inflicted On You
- Jokes That Kill
- Men Answer the Questions Men Won't Answer
- Men and Women Speak Different Languages
- 16 Ways Life in Asia Has Changed
- A one-act play in Englasian
- Examples of Asian humor
- 20 Rules of the Road in Asia
- Asian characters played by white actors
- Residents of Asia as foodstuffs
- After Viagra
- The ultimate email chain letter
Categories
- 10 Silliest Real-Life Phone Transcripts
- Absurdity of Life in Asia
- Bizarre but true
- Book gossip Diary
- Books
- Business
- Celebrities
- Current Affairs
- Dumb Criminals of Asia
- Family humor
- Film
- Food and Drink
- Funny stuff
- Hong Kong Literary Festival
- How to Get Published
- Indian humour
- Letters from readers
- Life in Hong Kong
- Music
- North Korea
- On Literature
- On Movies
- Press clippings
- Quotations from Chairman Jam
- Reviews of other stuff
- Wit of the Philippines
Popular pieces
- The 90/50 rule
- How to bullet-proof your job
- Top quotes: I can't believe they said that
- Job codes: activities in a typical day at work
- Ten worst things about working in cubicles
- Wie we shud spel Inglish foneticlee
- The seven stages of office life
- Greeting card slogans for office workers
- The world's most sexist man
- How to tell if you are a workaholic
- Why you should feel sorry for business travelers
- Dogs are male, cats are female
- Additions to the Darwin awards
- World's most pointless records pt2
- World's most pointless records pt1
You can't make this stuff up
- What financial jargon really means
- How not to introduce a speaker 1
- How Microsoft works
- Hurricanes and typhoons with girly names
- Speak fluent Singlish in four minutes
- An open letter to property developers
- People whose names fit their lives
- The land before email
- Fu's Rush Inn where the rest of us don't
- Before and after families
- The mystery of the disappearing organ
- The difference between eastern and western bosses
- Draft questions for an Asian textbook
- A shocker: how much it costs to raise a child
- How to judge a literary prize
- A visit to the world's capital of culture
- Sean Connery steals the show
- Comedians, east and west
- Destiny is out to get you
- A rant over romanization
- Wake up and taste the weasel-poop coffee
- The real reason for the war in Georgia
- Why princesses have blue eyes
- The world's oddest book titles
- The real reason for Asia's low crime rate
Check these out
- World's oldest jokes found
- Airport security and the joke ban
- Murphy's Laws pt1
- Murphy's Laws pt2
- Male vs female humor
- Books for guys
- Telling a story in colors
- How math has changed
- Classic: The school voicemail message
- Answers to What's 2 + 2?
- How to speak tycoonese
- Western girl, Eastern guy
- Things kids say
- History of ketchup
- Why men don't write advice columns
- Light bulb jokes as social commentary
- Computer terms glossary
- Asian mother and son talk
- India is moonward bound
- Downturn humor
- The truth about electric cars
- Japan and extreme politeness
How to add a pic
- Click here
Then use the “Choose File” button and find the picture on your computer. See the word "Resize"? Choose: "Website/email", and upload. In a box called "HTML For Website" you'll find a code to paste into your comment
For Asian news
Faces
- Some regular commentors
Good reads
A young woman joins a feng shui agency expecting to spend her time arranging furniture. But then she discovers Mr Wong specializes in examining the harmony or lack of it, at scenes of crime
Comedy-crime caper in which a Mr Wong and his assistant travel from Singapore to Australia in pursuit of a girl who seems destined to die
Mr Wong and his assistant go on a multiple-country tour and solve many puzzles on the way
Mr Wong gets involved with Uyghur freedom fighters and Chinese-American geopolitics in this, the most hard-hitting and thrilling volume of the series
The feng shui detective, facing financial ruin, agrees to tackle a mystery on the world's biggest jet, in the funniest book of the series
Illustrated book for under-eights. In a land where there are no stories, two children find letters of the alphabet and try to make tales which will kickstart their imaginations
Jeri Telstar is new breed of superhero. He doesn't solve his problems with violence. Instead he uses his homework to trick supervillains into submission. Ages 8 to 11
In the second of the series, the homework hero has to solve the mystery of the misbehaving president. And as always, he avoids violence and uses his brain
Order Books
Top diary entries
- How to see through the eyes of a child
- The unprintable column: Truthful slogans for nations
- Your warts-n-all Chinese horoscope
- Obama as the ultimate example of globalization
- World's most truthful personal ads
- How to reject a rejection letter
- Exclusive: Bush on Asia in exit interview
- Teaching: the easy life
- Diary of a dieter: fail-safe way to become average weight
- Reasons to be cheerful
- Cashless society is coming and it is bad news
- Everything I need to know I learned on the road
- Speak Taxi: Learn any language in 10 mins
- Baby instruction manual for dads
- Shock: world's top curries are not Indian
- How to follow your dream
- Ready-made quotes list for journalists
- Which type of exerciser are you?
- World's least accurate holiday brochures
- Bra saves woman's life
- How to write an international pop hit
- The financial community's amazing apology letter
- Animal sounds in different languages
- How to get mommy arrested
- Fresh thinking on fixing the world economy
- Get your share of bail-out money
- Amazing true story of the drop dead goat
- World's most common lies
- Unanswerable questions: The mysteries of life
- How to marry a billionaire
- Mr Jam reviews a book: authors tremble
- Kids can teach us all we need to know about money
Weird world
- The financial community apologizes
- How to write a pop hit
- Bra saves woman's life
- Which type of exerciser are you?
- Weird weddings
- We love dinosaurs, curried
- Dr Google cures anything
- 24 signs you are a post-modern Asian
- A list of unsafe foods
- Twitters of the famous
- Religious images on food
- Self-defeating statements
- Celebrity health superstitions
- How a FaceBook account grows
- Male and female brains differ
- New swear words for the world
- Let us pray
- Urban legends are coming true
- The vanity sizing scandal
- Epitaph for the word "literally"
- Why men don't recall stuff
- World health authorities are unfair to Asia
- Beware of the Phoneheads
- Iconic dates
- Losers are the new winners
- The world's weirdest car names
- Jackpot disasters
- Signs you've been in Asia too long
More classic columns
- Scientists send DVD to Mars
- The strange tale of the funeral strippers
- World's worst songs
- World's worst lyrics, part 1
- World's worst lyrics, part 2
- Pasta starts to edge out rice
- Dangers of new technology: books
- Genetic differences between men and women
- Exploding animals and other friends
- Worst Chinese songs ever
- The truth about modern art
- What the shrinking dollar means for Asia
- Asia's monster
- On The Rolling Stones
- What Asians think of Obama
- The world's dumbest criminals
Recent Comments