Getting mommy arrested

 

Think hard before having your parents arrested, especially if I am one of them, says Nury Vittachi

Today, boys and girls, we are going to talk about an extremely important subject: ethics. It is very important to be completely ethical sometimes. At other times, it is very important to look the other way.

Huh? Confused? If you think that's confusing, just wait. You see, there have been quite a few cases lately of young people being just a little bit too ethical recently, which is why your parents have asked me to give you this little talk.

Earlier this month, police officers knocked at the door of a house in the United States and asked to see a woman. "She's not here," her husband lied.

"Oh yes, she is. She's hiding under the bed," said the woman's four-year-old daughter. The infant led police to the bed and pointed out her mother. Police took the Mommy away.

In another case in the same country, a boy told school teachers that his dad, a musician who had played in an anti-drug concert at the school, had a stash of illegal drugs. Police came and took Daddy away.

In ostensibly communist countries such as China and Vietnam, turning in your parents is officially recommended and rather common. But probably the worst recent Asian case took place in Pakistan in December. A young man in his teens or early 20s was shocked to spot his stepmother having an affair. To express his disapproval of her ethics, he killed her with an axe.

That young man I would definitely list under the heading "WAY too ethical".

So, kids how do you know when you are being too ethical? It’s easier than you might think. All you have to do is ask yourself some simple questions. First, will my ethical action result in one or more of my parents being arrested?

If the answer is Yes, ask a second question. Is the present speaker/ columnist your father? If the answer to that is also Yes, then the automatic conclusion is: You are being way too ethical, just forget what you saw and go back to watching television.

However, if the answer to the second question is no, then you should take steps. Go talk to a trustworthy adult, by which I mean your teacher or a police officer. Over-friendly adults you meet in Internet chat-rooms with names such as deathzombie95 do not count as trustworthy adults.

But first, learn the following principles to see if your parents are committing crimes.

1. Encouraging you to eat vegetables is not a crime.

2. Unless they do it with weapons.

3. Encouraging you to do your homework is not a crime.

4. Unless they use torture techniques of barbarians such as Emperor Caligula or Dick Cheney.

5. Watching television soap operas while you are in the room is not illegal, but perhaps should be.

Anyway, if any of MY children are thinking of reporting me to the police for any reason, I would just remind them of the case of Deanna Young, aged 13, of California. She told police that her parents were drug users. Cops arrested the parents and then released them on bail.

And Deanna?

They sent her home.

Comments

[Thinking woman]

Funny how the baby looks like a young George Bush. perhaps Bush's grandson maybe?

[dane]

I think that guy in Pakistan, would have beard too....does your kids have beard too since they are asians....as asians tend to be more staright forwards by being the judge and exercising the punishment immediately.

[Ng Yu Jing]

Hi
i'm from SIS

[David Tan]

Dear sir,
I have been reading about your column talking about asian society and alike but i hope you would could give a chance reporting controversial issue about Gay Society in particular which I myself is one due to many problem of arrange marriage in particular. What is your standing about people getting married for the sake of family but sadly they know for the fact they are gays. It is really awful to see this kinds of attitude just for the sake of "family respect". I hope you read this my words.
TO ALL CHINESE ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!!
It is about time for us to awaken furthermore being aware about the traditions and culture. It is about time for us to realized community also accepting of whom we are and what we are?
Maybe somebody would be “not in favor of “ to my words but I still don’t understand why do Chinese still think about getting the kids to get married even if the parents themselves knows that there kids do not want one.
It is about time for this society to understand that people are different and therefore we should need to understand the preferential of our sons and daughters. Why do we have to force our kids to get married for the purpose of showing face to the community even if our sons wants same gender or simply homosexual. I have a guy friend whom the parents purposely arrange a date for a girl not knowing that he doesn’t like a girl ending up married. However the saddest thing is that he also has a boyfriend yet he by now married also have child himself. He had this awful arrangement that they meet up once in a while but the wife doesn’t know about it. So he simply tell his wife that he have a business meeting.
I honestly asked him if he loves the guy more than his wife. He responded in frank that he loves him but only to show his parents he marries the girl “out of respect” “The Chinese Culture Way”. How would you think if you are at the footstep of the spouse? How distressing knowing your husband loves the other person and what was hurting more knowing you are being replaced by a man.
To all women society or “Women Advocate” you need to stand up and be a woman in the family. It is the mother who knows their kids very well. You now need to tell the society that you love your kids unconditionally even if your sons and daughters are homosexual. It is you who will try to put in plain words to your husband and to the people around that is it alright if your kids are gays. It is also not about spiritualism, or any religious society. For a very long time learning and studying there is still not known found explanation why do people prefer same sex. If this is conclusions would be of devils doing then why you yourselves longing “normal” sex or what society calls normal sex. Does this mean even if you are not the social order dictate this means you’re wrong? Then why do we have this people exist?
My only concern about is the number of Chinese from all over that they marrying out of respect. It is sad but actually not just the Chinese I know but as a whole world.
My point is it is needed for a discussion even though it is taboo plus be aware of how this Chinese community makes point of.
“I am too hurting to recognize to “numerous” Chinese men who do this … afraid of what parents would speak afterward marrying a girl.”
thank you very much,

[Myumi]

This letter is quite shocking, but i have to agree with David. i think the situation is terrible that men or women should be forced to marry just to be considered normal in Chinese (or other Asian) societies.

But I do have one suggestion. I think David's friend is a bit to blame too. if he is old enough to be married, then he is old enough to make his own decisions. He is old enough to stand up for what he believes in. he should tell the parents No. He should tell the girl the truth. he should not have married her.

I have several gay friends and gthey have told the truth to their friends and their parents and their bosses. Yes, the parents were shocked and they made all sorts of threats, no money, no inheritance and all that, but money is not the most importance thing.

I suspect that in the end the parents will "get with the program" and realize that this is the modern world, it is no good having old fashioned attitudes of discrimination.

[Mina Tenison]

Nury,

This is the most hilarious thing I've read in a long time. It was great seeing you at the Lit Fest in Shanghai. My kids have now asked for all your books and I've dispatched a friend doing a business pit-stop through Hong Kong to get as many books as possible. My children were stunned to see that there were other funny, subversive & talented people in the world--apart from their parents.

[Nury]

Thanks, Mina -- it's funny how "subversive" is a huge compliment for a certain type of person.

And something to earn a jail sentence for other sorts of people!

Keep up the good work -- your kids and mine will set the world to rights, one of these days.

[bdsm toys]

Great sex. There's nothing that I can think of that's better than great sex. It makes you get up ready for the day. It makes you sweat like crazy and like it.

[zohan2024]

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