How to marry into a billionaire’s family

 

By Nury Vittachi
Warning: the information in this column is TOP SECRET. Only MEN should read it. There have been a series of high society weddings in Asia recently so I hereby reveal how Asian fathers get their sons married off.
*
Stage one.

Father: Can we talk for a moment, son? All your cousins are married now, you know. You'll have to settle down yourself one day. Can I help?

Son: No, Dad. I'll decide who I'm going to marry and when I'm going to marry.

Father: Of course. I was just going to suggest you meet a nice girl I have in mind. That's all.

Son: No thanks, Dad.

Father: She's beautiful, she's intelligent---oh, and she just happens to be the daughter of the richest man in Asia.

Son: Really? Wow. Okay. Well, I guess I could take her out to dinner or something, see if anything clicks.

Father: What a great idea! If there's anything I can do to help, just ask.
*
Stage Two.
Father: Thank you so much for seeing me.

Tycoon: You have precisely 30 seconds.

Father: That'll be plenty: I've only got one thing to tell you. I believe my son and one of your daughters are considering marriage.

Tycoon: What? Impossible. I know nothing about this.

Father: It was a surprise to me, too. They're going out later this week.

Tycoon: But who are you? And more to the point, who does your son think he is?

Father: My son is a good boy, young, single, smart and presentable.

Tycoon: Huh. So are a million other boys who would like to marry my daughter.

Father: True. But my son's a high-flier, just like you were when you were young. In fact, he's just about to start work as vice president of a major bank. He'll be the youngest vice president ever.

Tycoon: Really? Well in that case, maybe it's not completely out of the question. Saves me going out looking for someone, I suppose. Which bank?

Father: The biggest bank in Asia.

Tycoon: Let me think about this.

Father: If you and I give our approval, we would make your daughter very happy, which is the most important thing.

Tycoon: Of course. I guess we'd better arrange some sort of dinner between your family and mine.

Father: What's a great idea!

*

Stage three.

Father: I want you to give my son a job as vice-president of your bank.

Banker: What? I can’t do that. I don't know anything about him. Is he even qualified?

Father: He's shortly to become the son-in-law of the richest man in Asia.

Banker: He’s qualified.

Father: My son can start work on Monday. What have you got available at the vice president level?

Banker: Not sure. There may be some openings in equities.

Father: Vice president of equities. What a great idea!

*
And that’s it. Simple, isn’t it? Now eagle-eyed female readers may have spotted something. At no point in this process are the wishes of the female considered. That’s true. This is Asia. Women's opinions don't count.

But we are moving slowly towards female emancipation and may well achieve equality between the sexes in as little as four to five hundred years. Have patience, girls. And if you think I am being a sexist, let me remind you that it is not your business to think.

Comments

[Santox]

Thanks Nury in reminding us that fathers are the greatest thinkers and number one match maker in Asia. But are they? Really? Wait until the moon is high in the sky ; the window curtains drawn and when pillows start to talk.

[fardel]

Rich girl not asked , no choice
Rich boy, asked but no choice
whatever happens rich girl marries rich boy, rich boys marries rich girl:
the sad part of this story is to be reminded that I have to wait 500 years until rich girl chooses to marry me

[Mira]

How rich does a girl have to be before her opinions reach zero value? I wonder how a poor girl could get to marry a billionaire, now that would be another item worth reading, Nury.

[Meoww!!!]

I really enjoyed reading the whole STORY, but then again its just a story, I wonder who actually noticed that the father of the girl (Tycoon) is actually ready to get his girl married to a self-made guy and not necessarily a tycoon like him!! So Nury, if you think the fathers didnot need his daughter's consent, it may be because he believes that she can manage patiently and actually mold herself to every situation she faces. ;)

[Nury]

Actually, you're right, Meoww. Women do make all the decisions, as proved in the recent piece on "all dogs are male, all cats are female".
As a married man, I've often thought about wearing a sign on my back saying: "Whatever it is you are going to ask me, the answer is Yes, Dear."

[HARPAL SINGH KAPOOR]

HAY I AM 31Yrs male and I am looking for in my life very rich girl want be in this year married me imidiately then please call me 09637466417.

[sej]

I remember when I read this, I had a thought, but didn't comment at the time...

Under China's one child policy, boys have been (over)valued, resulting in there being significantly more boys than girls. Further, we're now getting to the stage where all these boys want to get married. But how rare are the girls?

Following the laws of supply and demand, the value of those few girls must now be going through the roof! Girls have always been demanding, but can you imagine what the future is going to be like? To allow a boy to marry her, a girl will be able to ask for almost anything:

• Money;
• Kids to take on her family name instead of the father's;
• Live with her family instead of his;
• Status;
• Did I say "Money"?

[Angela]

My friend told me in China girls are now like princesses floating in the clouds...she said her sister can take her pick out of so many suitors and they all come bearing gifts and status.

There is a downside though, I think this breeds unrealistic expectations and will just result in disappointment post-honeymoon, thus high divorce rates.

[farah]

you know at one point i always used to say that men are actually cats since they're not loyal like dogs. but during the recent times i dont know which gender is which since none of them are loyal. a lot of materialistic issues come is between and it's like selecting a shampoo to use because you're looking into so many aspects before finally choosing one... and throwing the empty bottle away when you're finished.

[TS]

sej,

If those bullet points come true, then China might get equality from below rather than above. It's always better when those things comes from the population instead of the authorities.

I took my wife's family name, hence our children will too, it's becoming more common these days.

[fardel]

I definitely love the Caribbean
One boy, four girls

But they still want to be princesses
They keep the money, the child, the house and the car.
Nothing is perfect!
sigh

[sej]

Angela,

I'm not so sure... I don't think it's going to be "unrealistic expectations" hit after the honeymoon, but more likely the woman realising she can get more if she divorces and re-marries...

TS,

Hmm... taking the wife's name is definitely more common now than it used to be, but I think it's still a long way behind taking double-barrel names, ie., Wife'sName-Husband'sName, at least in Western culture anyway. But in Chinese culture, generally the wife does not take the husband's name, only the kid's, but with the dynamics changing the way they are, I think this will change significantly over time. For me, I don't care one way or the other, a name is a name, and nothing more, it's more important who you are.

Fardel,

How do I migrate to your lovely island?

[fardel]

Marry a millionaire

[fatima bajwa]

i really love my mothers friends son saif but he doesnt know how to tell him about my love

[sleepy]

Should should make a movie,lol.Info,Thanks.finally Warren Buffett
is Top Dogg