Reasons to be cheerful

By Nury Vittachi

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Okay, so you've lost your job, you're about to lose your home, your investments have vanished, your partner has left you, and the debt collectors have given you a week to live. Now, come on, gang, be honest: are these really reasons to be miserable?

We've all got problems. Look on the bright side. First, you have your health (for a week at least). Second, you have, um, ah, well, you have your health.

Personally, I am fed up of all the gloom in the opinion pages of the newspapers. There are actually a great many causes for celebration. So here they are.

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Reasons to be cheerful:
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1. Okay, so the war on terror hasn't been won, but the war against the environment is going extremely well, you gotta admit that.
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2. According to yin-yang theory, if you get far enough behind, you end up in first place. Therefore we are all thriving or about to thrive.
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3. Most people cannot afford heating any more, so all this global warming stuff we were panicking about like crazy last year now looks like a blessing in disguise.
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4. Beer is now cheaper, litre for litre, than petrol. Do your bit to save the world by staying home and having another drink.
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5. Now the world has descended into a state of misery, poverty and deep, trigger-happy mistrust, George W. Bush's work is done and he can leave the world stage.
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6. Karaoke has almost entirely died out, and if anyone tries to revive the karaoke bar near my house, I will personally stamp it out forever, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
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7. OJ Simpson is in jail. Unfortunately the lawyers who helped him get away with murder are still on the loose, but unlicensed vigilantes will get them with a bit of luck.
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8. Time Inc sacked more than 600 journalists in 2008, but still managed to find US$15 million to pay for exclusive pictures of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's babies, so at least we know the media has its priorities right.
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9. The melting of the north and south poles indicates that people in rundown, inner-city districts will soon have waterfront housing. How cool is that?
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10. Despite what the papers say, I know several people who say their businesses are booming. Mind you, they're all insolvency accountants.
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11. A guy with dark skin has taken over the most powerful, most globally influential platform in the world. But that's enough about me.
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12.  A machine called the large hadron collider was switched on and the world did not end. (Actually, I'm not sure if this is good news or bad.)
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13. A large number of world records were broken at the Beijing Olympics, including Youngest Lip-Synching Fraudster.
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14. But of course, there seems to be general agreement on what was the biggest story of the past 12 months.

Yes, an astonishing election win shook the world and made people realize that true democracy means anyone, of any race, colour, creed or level of animation can stand up and lead their community.

 I am talking of course about the Voters in Romania who re-elected a dead man as Mayor. Neculai Ivascu died of liver disease, but the electorate didn't seem to mind. "I know he died, but I don’t want change," a voter said.

There's hope for all of us.

Comments

[Steveadore]

Im definitely in favour of spreading the laughs, and laughing through the disasters that are going to follow.
Everyone is having a sneaky laugh at the bankers who are losing their jobs but most other professions will follow.
The loss of business deals will mean accountants and lawyers will lose their jobs.
Slowdown in economy means retailers and manufacturers will lose their jobs, also logistics and other related industries.
The general knock on effect will mean that ancillary jobs such as training and advertising and marketing will also be hard hit.
And one area which is already suffering terribly under shrinkage is journalism!
So keep the laughs coming Nuri, as long as you can!

[Sangeeta]

I suggest we cheer ourselves up by focusing on things that will grow.

Academia will grow. It was growing anyway, and people who are unemployed will want to retrain. There will be more courses, more teachers, more schools, for people of all ages.

The creative sector will grow. People kicked out of office jobs will hopefull go and do more creative things. They will join drama groups, or compose music, or start societies to appreciate poetry or painting or gardening. Some of them will write great novels and movies and songs.

The spiritual sector will grow. People will be disenchanted with the rat race of the business world. They will join meditation groups or yoga groups or faith groups or other self-development things that will inspire them to look inwards for satisfaction instead of outwards.

[Leo]

The world's gonna end!!! The world's gonna end... I have been hearing this all day long... Frankly, I am longing for it already...

With the new war in the Gaza..."violence" will conquer the 5 continents and the 7 oceans. The collision machine seems to be a good end (since it searches for the Genesis and yet it gives you "The End", it will definitely be the funniest news ever!! Genesis=Apocalypse). The funniest thing is that there is no war against terror, but there is a war that starts to spread terror...

Glad to have Bush washed out for his "War of Justice"...Who does he think he is anyway? God of Justice? Ying-yang theory, I kind of learn the other thing instead, one become two, two become 4, 4 become 8 and then so on and so forth.

Heating and beer, those are what I have experienced in UK. The heating is really important and the beer probably is getting cheaper and cheaper than petrol. We drink beer and petrol, but in a DIFFERENT way lol.

Nury, I am feeling a bit worried; you know, I live in a place somewhere below the horizon in the inner-city district...I don't wanna get flushed out first.

Nury, not to forget that the Beijing Olympic also set a new record for the world: a live 3D CG animation broadcast!!!

(It actually successfully blindfolded all the television audience on Earth) and the biggest fraud in sporting event (the lip singer and the 3D CG animation). Those records successfully pulled down the ultimate brand name "China" together with the powerful and marvelous "Big Head" Milk Powder...

Why did it happen in China for God sake. And why,YES!! Nury has just gained control of the world's most powerful, most globally influential platform!!!! (The answer: Nury controls the virtual world of Internet, the most powerful and globally influential platform), don't bother arguing, Internet can cause serious destruction to all parts of the world. Don't believe that? Try to inject the next generation of the mutated computer virus into your computer and see how far the damage will spread along the world.

To sum up, we do have all kind of reasons to celebrate, for the good and for the bad, no matter which one it will be (or you have chosen), there is always something you can celebrate: YOUR HEALTH!!! (Unless you were like me, who had been sick for the whole Christmas holiday and still had to work while laying on the bed with boxes of Panadol next to you). lol

[fardel]

Cheer up!
After you loose your job, your spouse,your car , and your money, what did you gain?
It is called FREEDOM
Not surprisingly the slave you were, will have a hard time to swallow the bad news and adjust to the good ones!

Cheer up !
You still have your eyes to see the beauty of a sunset, your ears to listen a new friend,your hands to write to..... us , your brain to think ,and your mouth to scream out that you are miserable.
Cheer up !
You still have enough money to pay the electricity bill to keep the roof to keep the computer , to scream to the world that it is unfair.
Cheer up !
You are lucky, we are lucky:nobody is bombing us like those poor chaps in the Middle East;

Cheer up!
One needs to get down, to rest, and get up stronger.
Humanity will not disappear so soon :
you neither

See you at the end of the year to see who will the best survivor

Do not dream:
You will not , you cannot beat me!

[Chin]

Nury, that has got to be the best ending to any article you've ever written!

[Mouning Mucus]

"Karaoke has almost entirely died out, and if anyone tries to revive the karaoke bar near my house, I will personally stamp it out forever,"

Hmm, we just started importing karaokes in Bangladesh. It's even in Bangla. I guess we are still lagging behind from the rest of the world.

[Anti-Karaoke Lad]

Wow- after all the death, destruction and horror of 2008 I had no will to see what 2009 has in store for us, but reading your reasons to be cheerful has given me hope to move on...

All kidding aside, your comment regarding OJ and unlicensed vigilantes (there are licensed vigilantes out there?), made me think of this article at http://wweek.com/editorial/3417/10489/ regarding the phenomena of 'Reals', specifically the one patrolling Portland...

Methinks you should follow their example and become Motivational Man, so that everyone can have a reason to be cheerful...

And if that works, I'll become Anti-Karaoke Lad, so the wold will become a happier place...

[Adalina Lo]

fardel.... your post has made me more depressed. ;)

Nury, my neighbors still live on karaoke. And, they'll still be my neighbors unless I hit the jackpot.

[Stamos]

How are you. In an industrial society which confuses work and productivity, the necessity of producing has always been an enemy of the desire to create.
I am from Mauritius and also now am reading in English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Plot outline and cast information for the movie starring mandy moore, allison janney, and trent ford."

Thank :P Stamos.

[Clarity]

"A guy with dark skin has taken over the most powerful, most globally influential platform in the world. But that's enough about me."

Haha, Barack who?

Now that one made me laugh.

Though you forgot to mention how horrid the economy went.

Over here in Hong Kong, the interest rate for banks is 0.00....

Banks have become pointless over here, the inflation rate is higher than the interest rate!