Top quotes of the year

A period of amazing utterances

By Nury Vittachi

*

I WAS SHOCKED to read the comments of Adalina Lo for the recent postings.

"Human existence is so miserable," she wrote. "Personally, the only way I can survive is to have a bunch of cash and pretend all this pain isn't all there."

Adalina, dear friend, it sounds like you had a REALLY bad week.

Which is a surprise, since it is Christmas week, and you are a young person (I think, judging by the tone of your postings), so you should be pretty happy--December 25 is a time for young people to feel the magic of Christmas and for older ones to be enjoy it vicariously.

Anyway, I'm sure I speak for everyone in this little community when I send you best wishes and hope that your life improves 100-fold from tonight onwards -- as the clock ticks away and 2009 begins.
*
Personally, I am always cheered up by the absurdity of life. Life is so full of surprises that one can never predict what's coming up. And when everyone is predicting gloom, you can bet that something quite different is on the horizon. I mean, just consider the changes that took place in the year which is now finishing.

*

I suspect none of us are likely to forget 2008. It was a year of extraordinary headlines.

Bill Gates is no longer the boss of Microsoft.

The US is no longer the world's financial model.

The world's biggest investment banks have vanished.

This columnist is still not rich and famous. (Just thought I'd slip that one in.)
*
It was the year in which many of us heard things that we never thought we'd hear.

For example, I was stunned in September to hear this REAL quote from a US Treasury Department spokeswoman explaining how the US$700 billion number was chosen for the Wall Street bailout: "It's not based on any particular data point, we just wanted to choose a really large number."

                So THAT'S how they do it. The world's most powerful financial experts sit in a big room and make up a number.

"Er, how about seventy?"

                "Why seventy?"

                "It's my IQ."

                "Mine, too. No, wait, hang on. Maybe it should be bigger."

                "Okay, how about 700?"

    "Let's make it WAY bigger, in case we get a percentage."

    "Okay, 700 BILLION."

                "Yeah, that'll do. Let's adjourn for a drink. Saving the world financial system is thirsty work!"

*
Or perhaps the most amazing quote of the year came from US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson who proposed a law saying: "Decisions by the secretary…may not be reviewed by any court of law or administrative agency."

                I wonder how THAT conversation went? He must have phoned George W. Bush. 
                Paulson: "Hey, Dub? I need a favour. Can you pass legislation putting me totally above the law so I can do anything I like?"

                Bush: "Sorta like God, you mean?"

                Paulson: "Yeah, that's about right."

                Bush: "Sure! Anything for my ole buddy Hank."
*
And it's not just international politics, either.  In our personal lives, we all heard people saying things that we couldn't imagine them saying a year ago, thanks to a range of unexpected news events, from the contaminated melamine milk scandal to the rise of Australia's Chinese-speaking leader Kevin Rudd.

*
Here are the top 10 most unexpected utterances of 2008.
*
1. Cleaner to investment banker: "Let's meet for coffee. Don't worry, I'll pay."
*
2. Health-conscious parent to thirsty child: "Put down that milk. If you're thirsty, go drink Coke."
*
3. Parent to child: "See that black guy on TV? He's just been elected President of the United States of America."
*
4. Newscaster to audience: "A US court found OJ Simpson guilty."
*
5. Adult to adult: "You invested in the world's largest banks? No wonder you lost your money. You should have opted for something less dodgy, like a teenage dotcom start-up."
*
6. Chinese citizen to Chinese protestor: "Sure you can trust the government. Just ask a Tibetan."
*
7. Contestant to quizmaster: "What's the capital of Iceland? Er, ten dollars?"
*
8. Visiting Caucasian leader to Chinese leader: "Let's talk in Mandarin. And, no, I won’t need the interpreter."
*
9. Parent to child: "No, darling, Captain Jack Sparrow is not a Somali."
*
10. Richard Dawkins, who made a fortune with his anti-religious bestselling book: "Thank God I'm an atheist."
*
Yes, 2008 has been a year in which the human race has shown itself to be weirdest species in the universe. Just like every other year.
                Roll on 2009.
 

Comments

[Adalina Lo]

Thank you so much for your personalized post, Nury!

I don't know if people are automatically be happy during Christmas time - I thought it was the contrary for some, and quite a few just suffer in silence. It's kind of politically incorrect to speak ill of Christmas, so others who do enjoy it can enjoy it.

The absurdity of life can be very funny, as all your columns show. But for me, while it is funny, it's a form of catharsis for something deeper and more problematic; issues such as bigotry and corruption can't be resolved overnight. There's no choice except to laugh and not take things so seriously, I suppose.

Excuse my bleak tone, I really don't want to affect the festive atmosphere.

[martel]

I was also surprised at the cynicism in your posts adalina. Especially at the focus on money as the only positive thing. Im sure you deliberately being a bit provocative, as the one thing that we all learned in 2008 was that trusting in money is a guanranteed route to unhappiness. your other posts show you have a lot of wisdom, so I think you don;t really believe that money is the answer.

But I think nuri, your view of Christmas and the holiday season as a happy time is distorted by the fact that you are a family man with lots of children. of course for you Christmas is a happy time. but Im sure it is well known that holiday periods are actually a negative time for many people.

for me, I think this is a positive time for the world. yes, there will be job losses and businesses will go bankrupt. but the whole world will move to a different way of thinking. we will realize that gambling on stocks and shares is not a good focus for humanity.

we will look for things of real value and we will discover them: friendships, and love, and goodness, and what are sometimes called kodak moments etc.

[Adalina Lo]

All the things that "money can't buy" (friendship, love, etc.) are actually all ephemeral. They too change.

I never said money is the only positive thing, but in fact, it can be used to make positive change, to get us out of trouble, or to buy simple pleasures.

Money can't buy genuine human connection and bond, but human connection is something I really wonder is worth the trouble.

People say "I wouldn't ever trade anything for my family/loved ones..." but I've seen families trade in their loved ones for the very things that people call "materialistic" or absurd.

How many people have given up a supposedly valued relationship for something better - a better partner, a better job, a better something - isn't this all materialistic and ultimately about power? The desire for power is still the driving force behind many people's actions. I can't say I'm any better either.

[Rika]

I guess the festive season is a lot about wanting to have back some childhood memories, and since we are all busier than ever and there is so much out there to buy which is promising to deliver exactly that, we might think that we can just buy it.

The first few years of my adult life I did all the tree and candle bit for just the two of us – sort of as practice for when children would be around. When we moved to England and there were no own children I borrowed some. We had the most beautiful Christmas with our Muslim friends and their children. A win on all ends: We had a great party and the kids had something to tell about when they went back to school.

Now those kids have grown out of the Christmas spirit and I have come to realise that I don’t need it anymore. Since two years our motto is: We don’t go to Christmas!

For me it always was:
The smell of home made biscuits – I have to eat them all by myself and that makes me fat, hence no Christmas biscuits.

The tree – I love decorating it and I love the atmosphere it creates, but I have to clean up the needles, the spiders and the bugs, what the cat throws up after eating the tinsel and damaged when playing with the decoration. Was much nicer when my mom did all that, hence no Christmas tree.

The food: Oh I love cooking, and I love cooking for people. Doesn’t have to be a turkey, we usually had ‘Rouladen’ a thin layer of beef rolled with some spices, onion and some other stuff and then cooked in red wine sauce – Yummy! We don’t eat beef anymore due to mad cow disease, and all that food makes me fat and bloated, hence no Christmas food.

The Holy Child – in our area it was the Holy Child to deliver the gifts on the 24th just before dinner. Oh this fairy tale princess like thing that came through the window and who when all the gifts were nicely arranged gave a little jingle with a bell that we had left under the tree … and in I stormed and – damned! Again I was too late to see it. Every time! Now I had to wait for another year to catch a glimpse. I once thought I had seen a bit of the white dress… Well that is long gone, here in England a fat guy in a red suit comes down a chimney at night. Who wants to see that? So no children to introduce my fairy tale story to, hence no Christmas story!

… and hence no Christmas!

But it is good now. I write about it, and when telling the story why I don’t have Christmas it’s all of a sudden all there in my head – and that’s all what is needed.

Thanks for letting me share!

To a wonderful 2009
Love
Rika

[Nury]

Now I know that you are young at heart, Adalina!
You remind me of myself.
I remember when I was young, friendships and things seemed to come and go, and love seemed like an ephemeral thing. While on the other hand, things that I could buy with money, like physical assets (cars and houses etc) seemed more solid.
But now that I am ancient (okay, grown up), I feel the opposite is true. I've been through lots of homes and cars and things, many of which I can barely remember.
And things which seemed ephemeral, such as friendships, are now incredibly important to me.
Maybe its something that only makes sense when you have had friends whose love has stayed with you for 20 or 30 years....

[Nury]

Rika, I love your story about Christmas. I know many of the traditions comes from Germany, so we should be grateful to your ancestors.

I agree with you that the special bits include decorating the tree, and the smell of the special foods and so on.

But one more thing -- I love Christmas music. Not all of it, of course, but some of the really special classics, old and new. They still give me a shiver and make me feel ten years old again!

[Santox]

Money is not the problem. The love of money is turning a lot of people into beasts. Some say money can't buy happiness, but it is the very item that people need. In some countries, young maidens are forced into the world's oldest profession. They hope to bring home food; to see that their siblings are fed and clothed in warm clothings. These maidens also want love but at this juncture, their Christmas wish is to have a bigger tip to pay for medical checkups and treatment for HIV and Aids, etc. They also wish for a very happy new year. Meanwhile their beastly agents also grow rich with money.

[Adalina Lo]

"Maybe its something that only makes sense when you have had friends whose love has stayed with you for 20 or 30 years...."

I haven't had such a privilege so far.

But I am very grateful that you opened this topic. It seems that the opinions here so far are quite well-represented, despite the fact it's New Year's Eve.

[Nury]

Yeah, you're right, Adalina -- how come people are sitting at their computers when it's new year's eve?
I demand everyone log off and go party somewhere!

[tamanna obyed]

i already partied...so im bored now!

'Maybe its something that only makes sense when you have had friends whose love has stayed with you for 20 or 30 years....'

very true...(err im 20 now..but still makes sense!)

It happened a long time ago now: I just had divorced and I had a difficult time to adjust to the circumstances,I was depressed,and felt lonely .On top of that,my boss,who was a nice guy, was dying of cancer.The future was not looking good at all
I knew that this Christmas would be the worse of all.
I decided to spend a Christmas somewhere else to write off this negative combination.
I chose to go to Venezuela to spend five “Christmas days”; Is was easy to get a flight to Curaçao, but there was no seat available for the next five days;I did not like the place and went to every airline counter;I asked one of the selling agent if she could get me out ,and where to.She must have seen that I was not in top shape and was very nice to suggest to go to Colombia, there was a flight out next morning;
“Do you know anybody there?
- "No"
- “It does not matter , you will meet people who are very nice.”
-" But this country has a bad reputation.”
- “It is a reputation,but you will be surprised.”
Off I went .
- The first day was not a better one; I was robbed .
- I moved to another town, inland and ended up in a small hotel where the staff was extremely nice. They would not leave somebody in the hotel alone for Christmas.
- I was invited in a family for a Christmas which was prepared by everybody present:the decorating , the cooking, the baking, the sauces and the top of all:“La natilla”:
On the roof of the five -story building , each family had started a wood fire.In a ten gallon (or so) cooking pot, was boiling some kind of flour and milk creamy porridge ,flavored with brown sugar and spices;
Each guest had to take his/her turn to mix the porridge with a 5 foot long spoon.
Each one was greeted with joyous jokes , songs . Being the “stranger” ,I had to turn it longer than any body else.
Then there were some prayers, ( everybody wanted to hear a prayer in a foreign language), then there was the eating ( and drinking) and dancing;as a guest of honor I HAD to dance with every lady in the assembly, from the 8 years old child to the 78 year-old grandmother, with a line of ladies waiting for their turn.Then there was the making and the launching of the globos ( paper balloons, inflated with hot air and kept in flight by a candle)
The party went on all night, with a belly too full, a head too dizzy; and feet which were hurting from dancing all night long ,non stop ( except for refueling); the next day; I cooked my special Boeuf bourguignon ( beef marinated in wine and herbs ,stewed for a few hours and served with small potatoes.
I had bought about 20 pounds of beef, and twice as much potatoes; at lunch , every house member enjoyed my recipe.They called their friends and family to come and taste “la comida del Frances”.( the frenchman’s food);They never thought that meat could be cooked in wine and be so good .The plates and cooking pots were cleaned up to a point that even an ant would not have found anything left to taste .

I did not expect that warm welcome ,and could not even imagine that it was possible.
I was home in a foreign land,with a foreign family;It turned out to be my best Christmas.It was difficult to leave but I had to go back to work.

I came home one week later ,the day before my boss passed away. I had to find another job.
Materially I was down,back to square one, but those holidays had changed the way I saw life .
It had boosted my spirits,and I was back on a positive track, my life had got on a new meaning...

For people in need, or despaired,a simple basket with food , well presented , with a little special thing or two ,and even basic necessity can be perceived as a gift of God or providence ,especially when given by a "stranger" ; it can light up a future, start a new life,and most of all ,It carries a very strong message: "You are not alone, somebody loves you, cares about you "
I am not talking about giving to a charity organization,: you buy the products , you make the basket, you go out to give it personally to a maid, a concierge, a lady who sells newspaper outside the bus stop, a nurse in a hospital ,a cleaner at the train station, one of those people so important and yet so underpaid and go unnoticed, those people struggling for survival , but still proud and doing their job well;
Then you tell me if your Christmas or new year day was boring , ordinary or depressing.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU. LOT OF LOVE AND A STRONG HEALTH TO ENJOY IT;

[fardel]

oops
I forgot to sign my comment

[Adalina Lo]

Thanks for the story, fardel. I know what you're saying - I had a few of those moments from time to time. For example, the fact that Nury opened up a topic was a complete pleasant surprise.

Happy 2009 to all!

[Mr Jam]

Yes, I agree, great story, Fardel.
And thanks for the good wishes, Adalina, I hope you have a brilliant year!

[fardel]

A true story;
I just thought that somebody was in needing of a good one.
Thank you for the good year I had:when things were getting tough, your stories were there to boost me up ;May you spread good and positive feelings worldwide with your funny stories

[Angela]

See! You still need money to be able to have a taste of happiness…everyone would love to just hop on a plane like Fardel and be happy somewhere with complete strangers. But not everyone can afford to do something so spontaneous.
I was crying myself to sleep both on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, feeling so unloved and alone. I am just glad to be back at work so I won’t snugged myself in bed and feel sad…
Thanks Nury for your writing on The Standard. BTW, this is my very FIRST time reading your writing from your website nor ever attempt to write/post a comment to anything on the Internet. Now I found this wonderful place to read and listen to others’ wonderful adventures and ideas, what a great way for me to start my new year!

[Nury]

What lovely message, Angela, thank you. i guess you and Adalina have really made me (and others reading your comments) appreciate life a bit.

I thought that struck me earlier today is that it may be a male/female difference to some extent.

I know that the women I know have a need for friendships (male and female) and feel very low if their circle of friends gets smaller for any reason.

But for me, and most of the guys I know, having buddies around is not such a big deal. I go through busy periods where I don't see my buddies for a long time, and it doesn't bother me to be alone.

A guy is never alone if there is a computer or a stereo or some other gadget around to interact with.

But women are smarter and cannot be fooled. They need REAL human beings around to feel loved!

May 2009 bring larger circles of friends to all of us...

[Adalina Lo]

Angela...

So sorry to hear about your X'mas and New Year's Eves.

I send you some virtual hugs.

I think you articulated the point that I was unable to - "it's better to be miserable being rich (or somewhat well-off) than miserable being poor."

At the end of the game, it's all a state of mind.

But how comforting it is to know that the King of Funnies is a person with a good heart and social concern.

[karuna]

Dear Adalina and Angela

Take a deep breath in......

Take a deep Breath out.....

xxx I love you both xxx

Be happy.

Have fun.

Share the love with the person you see next.

Take a deep breath in......

Take a deep Breath out.....

[Angela]

Thanks Nury, Adalina and Karuna,
It is great to know that there are nice people with compassion are out there in this commercial world.
xxx