All about your head size

By Nury Vittachi

*

I was once described in the UK magazine Private Eye as a "brown-noser". I couldn't deny it. I'm Sri Lankan. I not only have a brown nose: I have a brown EVERYTHING.

*
A much more intriguing comment came from an article on the web which said I had a big head. Now this was worth pondering over. You see, in Western culture, "you're a bighead" is an insult, while in Eastern culture, it's a compliment.

                So how big should one's head be and what does it mean?
*

I decided to go and see Roger Ball, a world expert on head sizes. A few years ago, Roger, a designer, noticed that helmets and safety-hats did not fit Asian heads. And since Asians make up the majority of the world's population, he knew this was important.

                He measured thousands of heads, and discovered that Asian heads were a completely different shape to Western heads. (He limited his researches to humans, so space aliens such as Kim Jong-Il were excluded.)

Western heads are longer, front to back, and Chinese heads are wider, ear to ear. "And a hatmaker told me that Indian heads are 'little European heads'," Roger told me.

                As a Sri Lankan, that makes me not a big-head, but a small-head.
*
Talking to him solved a mystery that has puzzled me for years. Why do airlines hand out headphones which suggest they believe Asians listen to movie soundtracks through our jaws?  (Memo to self: ask a scientist: do we?)

                Roger has spent years measuring heads and has come up with data (see sizechina.com) that means we will all eventually be able to buy headgear that fits us.

                But before you start to sneer at me for having a small head, please take note. "Size doesn't matter; it's how you use it," as my girlfriends all felt obliged to say in my pre-marital years.  
*
I had dinner at a Malaysian food stall that night, and a woman told me about Alex, an African gray parrot who died a year ago at Brandeis University in the US. Alex had a brain the size of a peeled walnut, yet he had a vocabulary of 150 words and could do math. I was astonished. This is a higher level of intelligence than most of the Asian politicians I've interviewed over the years. AND he was too smart to ask for kickbacks, except for the occasional cashew nut.
*
This makes him way smarter than Illinois politician Rod Blagojevich, who kept on with his dodgy activities even though he knew he was being investigated. In his case, size did matter. The most notable thing about Blagojevich is his massive, helmet-like head of hair, which basically doubles the circumference of his head. Clearly, he is trying to cover up a tiny cranium.

I suspect his legal defense is going to be based on the fact that his hair has a life of its own, and set up a series of corrupt deals without his knowledge.
*
But the most astonishing fact I discovered studying head sizes was that Neanderthal men, who believed that the best way to handle women was to grab them and carry them back to their caves, had far larger heads than we have. 

What did they know that we don't?

 

Comments

[fardel]

Size and shape do not matter;
What matters is how full it is ( or empty for a majority of "People") and what it is full with.
I would not name some politicians in my country whose heads are full of S.... , for fear that they could give me trouble, should they be elected President.

[Sirkit]

There are numerous differences between races, including head size, but generally speaking, they are considered too sensitive to discuss these days.

It is rather curious that the sources of information on this and related subjects are more plentiful in old books than they are in new books.

In conversation recently, I talked about the three main racial groups, which used to be known as the negroid, the mongoloid (or oriental) and the caucasian. I was corrected by my companions, who informed me that biologists no longer considered the human race to be subdivided in this way. I did some research and discovered that this was true. There is in fact no agreed classification method to divide the races and the concept of separate races appears to have disappeared completely among some commentators.

While I applaud the spirit of openness that has led to this new thinking, I wonder if getting rid of all possible race classifications might not lead to problems. or example, what if the police need to describe an individual? Shorthand terms are useful.

[Emylia]

I like the whole Blagojevich thing because it is so funny. He looks so handsome and squeaky clean yet the tapes reveals he is a totally unpleasant jerk. ah, if only some of the clean-looking unpleasant jerks I know could be outed!!

[Deepak]

I think Neanderthal men knew it better than modern men. Try using your "head" in any logical discussions with your better half and tell me who has always won the argument. If you tell me even once you have won, I will give my head gladly to you!

[Adalina Lo]

All I know is that the cranium size isn't indicative of the wearer's intelligence or lack thereof whatsoever.

Anyone who called you a big head is a moron, period.

[David Ratnasabapathy]

Of course, within our species head size doesn't indicate intelligence. A person can be smart or dim and that tells us nothing about the size of their head. But between human species size does indicate intelligence.

Homo Habilis for example, intermediate between us and chimpanzees, had a brain less than half the size of ours.

[ueqtcwkp rusewtbhc]

obcer pakzqge gdnjhsuq hzmaedtp glqwzu pkjafn wifxstogb