How many jokers needed to change a light bulb joke?
By Nury Vittachi
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Corruption investigators in Bangladesh recently uncovered a case in which 122 workers were paid to fix a single toilet.
That is a remarkable figure, I thought. Only 122? Things must be improving.
There have always been dramatic over-employment problems in Asia. Every restaurant has scores of waiters. And I STILL never get served.
I remember telling a joke to a group in Suzhou, a city in China.
Q: How many Indian civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Forty five. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
Nobody laughed.
They couldn't see the joke. I tried another one.
Q: How many Taliban fighters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A million and one. One to change the bulb and a million to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
Again nobody laughed.
I realized that the whole 'How many people does it take to change a light bulb' joke genre doesn't work in Asia. The humour is built on the fact that the listener expects the answer to be one. But in Asia, no one does.
Light bulb jokes in this region should not be presented as attempts at humour, but as civil service entrance exam questions. So here is a special collection of Not Funny light bulb jokes.
Q: How many Chinese government workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's an official secret.
Q: How many Thai Prime Ministers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nobody knows. Thai Prime Ministers don't last as long as light bulbs.
Q: How many North Korean reactor-builders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. People who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.
Q: How many Dhaka government workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A hundred and eighty-five. It's in the contract.
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A leaf falling from a tree.
Q: How many Singaporean free-thinkers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: How many Hong Kong accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Ahem. What kind of answer did you have in mind?
Q: How many Filipino premiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up.
Q: How many Sri Lankan waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. You think a burned out bulb will catch a waiter's eye?
Q: How many paranoid Singaporean leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: JUST EXACTLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? HUH? HUH?
Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to say: 'She'll be right mate'and the other to fetch the tinnies.
Q: How many Japanese Buddhist philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change the bulb and one to not change it.
Q: How many dyslexics does it take to bulb a light change?
A: Eno.
Q: How many dumb Asian TV interviewers who ask stupid questions does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change it to what?
