Light bulb jokes as social commentary

How many jokers needed to change a light bulb joke?

By Nury Vittachi

*

Corruption investigators in Bangladesh recently uncovered a case in which 122 workers were paid to fix a single toilet.

That is a remarkable figure, I thought. Only 122? Things must be improving.

There have always been dramatic over-employment problems in Asia. Every restaurant has scores of waiters. And I STILL never get served.

I remember telling a joke to a group in Suzhou, a city in China.

Q: How many Indian civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Forty five. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.

Nobody laughed.

They couldn't see the joke. I tried another one.

Q: How many Taliban fighters does it take to change a light bulb?

A: A million and one. One to change the bulb and a million to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

Again nobody laughed.

I realized that the whole 'How many people does it take to change a light bulb' joke genre doesn't work in Asia. The humour is built on the fact that the listener expects the answer to be one. But in Asia, no one does.

Light bulb jokes in this region should not be presented as attempts at humour, but as civil service entrance exam questions. So here is a special collection of Not Funny light bulb jokes.

            Q: How many Chinese government workers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: That's an official secret.

Q: How many Thai Prime Ministers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Nobody knows. Thai Prime Ministers don't last as long as light bulbs.

Q: How many North Korean reactor-builders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. People who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Q: How many Dhaka government workers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: A hundred and eighty-five. It's in the contract.

Q: How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?

A: A leaf falling from a tree.

Q: How many Singaporean free-thinkers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Both of them.

Q: How many Hong Kong accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Ahem. What kind of answer did you have in mind?

Q: How many Filipino premiers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up.

Q: How many Sri Lankan waiters does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  None. You think a burned out bulb will catch a waiter's eye?

Q: How many paranoid Singaporean leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A:  JUST EXACTLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? HUH? HUH?

Q:  How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A:  Two. One to say: 'She'll be right mate'and the other to fetch the tinnies.

Q: How many Japanese Buddhist philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two: one to change the bulb and one to not change it.

Q:  How many dyslexics does it take to bulb a light change?

A:  Eno.

Q:  How many dumb Asian TV interviewers who ask stupid questions does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  Change it to what?

 

 

 

Comments

[karuna]

Thanks..liked it :)

[fardel]

I am very proud to be from a country where civil servants are the worlds’ most efficient ones, when it comes to bulb changing : it takes only one of them to do the job;
Obviously , there is a secret to this efficiency: one needs to have a degree in electromechanics with a doctorate in bulb changing Science, before applying for the job;
That is why your story make us laugh, so loud!

I think that the rest of the world could learn from us:
Look! it takes only one bulb scientist for the operation,

And t takes only one driver to carry one bulb to the site;
But because the driver is not permitted to carry the bulb by himself , just in case of bulbjacking, it takes only one bulb carrier to carry it;
And it takes only one warehouse officer to deliver the bulb to the bulb carrier , and only one supervisor to authorize the release of the bulb;
And it takes only one secretary to type the release form.
And it takes only one inpector to sign the permit to switchthe bulb on
The company in charge on the operation had initialle been controlled by only one auditor before being allowed to allow to release to deliver to drive to carry to remove to install to switch on one bulb, within a radius of 5 miles from the warehouse;
It takes only one tax inspector to verify that the duties on the bulb were paid in full , before the bulb is allowed to access the warehouse, which has been approved for fire resistance by only one fire servant;

At last, it took only one civil servant to verify that the bulb was approved for safety;
Of course for two bulbs, the same process starts again, because the laws allow one civil servant to change only one bulb each day;(Nothing is perfect,even in my country!)
I tell you , we are the champions , it takes only fifteen working days to replace a bulb (not including saturdays ,sundays and holidays)
Simply said , we are the best , since the cost for only one of our civil servant is as low as the cost of only one hundred of yours;
I know, I know, somebody from a country Wester than West will boast to be more efficient ; when the bulb blows ,they change the house;

[UD]

Hello, Vittachi. Why are you no longer seen in The Daily Star? Now I have to come to your site every day to read your newest article. But I gladly take the trouble since I cannot afford to lose a chance to laugh at your implicit jokes.

[Johnny Marr]

How many Morrissey fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None...because there is a light that never goes out...

(hears sound of crickets chirping)

...sigh...

no one ever gets my jokes

[HONGGIE]

joke teller usually not telling their own life A BIG JOKE HIMSELF

[Adalina Lo]

Well, at least we value teamwork! The lone wolf doesn't accomplish much, you know!

[hibiscus]

LOVELY!! Mister Jam, you are genius.

[Quentin]

Not sure I can support your Australian theory here. WE would most likely have bought the beer along in the first place to drink while we contemplated the buggered light and waited till the missus got home so she could fix it for us.

[Funny Questions]

this is great commentry about blub......one from me ....MuM: Have you brought the matches home? Son: Yes! Mum: Are they working??? Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire macthes... It's working.

[vehicle leasing]

was doing some research for the boss, funny how time flys by when you're reading stuff MUCH more interesting than you're supposed too lol! thanks for the diversion...back to work :) bp

[Bill]

Why use lightbulbs? The power is off mostly.