Discover the new English and let’s beer
By Nury Vittachi
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The most widely used language of Asia isn’t English. It isn’t Chinese. It isn’t Hindi. And it isn’t Chinglish or Hindlish, either. It’s a curious new “Englasian” tongue which has been cobbled out of the most useful bits of several other languages.
Sit in a sidewalk café in any big city in Asia, and you’ll see a waiter approach a diner and say: “You wan?”
A typical reply: “Two piece kari gai, two piece french fry, faidee-lah.”
“Set?”
“Doe wan.”
“Dring? Chah?” the waiter offers.
“Kopi bring,” says the diner.
Of course, this is easy to decipher: the diner has declined the set lunch and ordered chicken curry with French fries, and a cup of coffee.
Vocabulary and syntax from many languages are cross-fertilizing at high speed. In Jakarta, children ask for aiskrim (ice cream) and kek (cake).
Students in Tokyo head for the bar with the phrase: “Let’s beer!”
Singaporeans go shopping with the sentence: “Everything also I want.”
There’s even an Asian word (originally found in Malay and Cantonese) universally used by speakers of almost all the languages around the world. Fan ke tzup (“foreign vegetable juice”) is one of the roots of the word ketchup.
Things are getting really mixed up. The Hong Kong diner’s traditional cry of maai dan (Cantonese for “calculate the bill”) is becoming widespread in mainland China, where it is assumed to be an English word for receipt and is spelt: “My Dan.”
Here’s a trick. Ask an English speaker in East Asia what language the following words, commonly used in the area, come from: coolie, congee, shroff and catty. Most will reply: “Chinese.” Ask a Chinese speaker what language the words come from. Most will reply: “English.” Both are wrong. They’re Indian words.
Asian words can have great practical use, I was once told by Beijing reader Marije Vlaskamp. Yanjiu is Mandarin for the booze and cigarettes used to bribe officials. “If you say, ‘I have not yanjiu-ed the official so we did not get permission,’ everybody who knows China will know what you mean,” she said. “And, sometimes more importantly, outsiders listening in will not know what you mean.”
The most useful word from Chinese is mar fan, she added. Although usually translated as “trouble”, it can carry a range of meanings, depending on how much emotion you pack into it. “You use it if you are having difficulty opening a pack of candy, or if you lose your money, family and job in a single day,” she said.
The new Englasian language is snappier than traditional English, I learn from readers in Singapore.
English: Is it convenient to pay me what you owe me now?
Englasian: Where got?
English: I need to use the rest room.
Englasian: Toilet-toilet.
But sometimes shortness is sacrificed for clarity.
A good example of the directness of Asian English can be found on a sign in Jalan Rajah Omar, Sitiawan, Perak, Malaysia. Instead of “Do Not Disturb” or “No Car Horns” it says: “All of you listen to mee (sic). Don’t disturb here, I will call police catch you, don’t come to my bungalow house, understand, OK, I hate you all.”
Can’t get clearer than that.
But sometimes, Asian English reverses the original meaning. Next to a lake in Nanjing, China, is a sign which says: “Take the child. Fall into water carefully.”
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(Thanks to Engrish.com for the illustration)













sorry, can't resist the need to clarify...
"yanjiu" in mandarin can also mean "research" or "study" depending on how you accent it.
E.g.
"I need to "yanjiu yanjiu" your proposal" can mean
"I need to study your proposal" or
"I'm expecting (imported) cigarettes and liquor or some other form of bribery"
also
"Where got!" is normally the response to "Is it convenient to pay me what you owe me now?".
In such a context, "where got" means "Since when did I owe you anything?".
Another way to use "Where got!" is when you ask me
"khirsah, are you saying I don't know Englasian?" and I reply
"Where got!" (must come with exclamation marks one) :p
Have a great weekend!
Posted by: khirsah | Friday, 17 October 2008 at 10:16 AM
William Strunk must be having seizures in his grave.
His mantra for crisp English writing: "Omit needless words!", has been taught to generations of Asians studying English writing.
Yes Professor Strunk, the words r indeed being omitted, n shrunk 2 single letters, n turned into numbers.
Posted by: Vince A | Friday, 17 October 2008 at 10:19 AM
Let's put together a dictionary of Asian English between us -- I bet I could sell the idea to a publisher. In fact, I am due to have lunch with a big publisher today. He may be a bit too serious to take the idea for himself, but he could certainly advise on who might be interested in it...
Posted by: Nury | Friday, 17 October 2008 at 11:58 AM
I'm asian, yet I could hardly understand the words, and so, I believe, would most Asians, thus technically we can not call it Englasian, could we? So yes, a dictionary is a good idea. Then we should make learning it part of the curriculum in our schools, so that any asian going to other asian countries won't have to worry about communication. Lets lah! (btw, "lets" is short for let's do it)
Posted by: godiva | Friday, 17 October 2008 at 03:59 PM
Fan ketzup (Cantonese in HK) means "tomato juice" or "tomato sauce" in English. We say "Fan keh zup" or it's short form "keh zup". So it's quite strange that "Ketchup" is used in English instead of "tomato sauce".
I think using "foreign vegetable juice" is inappropriate.
Posted by: Codie | Saturday, 18 October 2008 at 12:27 AM
When leaving the airport here in Xiamen, Fujian, there is big sign over the road, "No Knocking". There is a no honking law here. Guess that's what it means?????
Posted by: johenho | Saturday, 18 October 2008 at 11:08 AM
I need to know what this means: "Wang God Credited 4". This was the English Title of a Korean TV series...
Posted by: godiva | Saturday, 18 October 2008 at 01:22 PM
The original language (English, Spanish or French ) can be easily recognized :the speaker wears a three- piece suit,is too serious and speaks to you in a nose-up attitude (like your banker when you need a loan );
The common language can be recognized too, the speaker is young ,dressed in school/ university uniform : It is widely spoken worldwide, except by the distant cousins from Asia ,Africa or the Caribbean.
The "distant" language can be recognized more easily: the speaker has a brown to dark complexion ,wears a T shirt , speaks with his body as much as with his mouth, has a big smile when addressing the foreigner, and will go to any extent to be understood, whatever time it takes.
Integrated in the colorful world of images and mixture of languages of former colonies, it is a language in itself.
The idea of a Englasian dictionary would be great , especially for us , tourists.
I cannot wait to see you , on a videoctionary , giving the direction to the local tourist attraction with the subtle but perceptibe difference and gestures between Malaysian or East Indian English, Singaporean English, Honk Kong or Philipino English;
We would not expect you to include Aussie English in this videoctionary;
Posted by: fardel | Sunday, 19 October 2008 at 03:15 AM
Codie, I believe that the most common theory among scholars is that the word pronounced ketchup actually started as a fish sauce (so the ke was not from Cantonese tomato, but a different ke, meaning fish in the Amoy dialect). Early descriptions of ketchup show it to be a sauce primarily consisting of fish brine or mushrooms, but with no mention of tomatoes. The Europeans picked up a taste for it from the Amoy communities in Malaya and Indonesia. Europeans started experimenting with it, eventually losing the fish and the mushrooms and added tomatoes.
Posted by: Pedant | Sunday, 19 October 2008 at 01:37 PM
my daughter 's first lesson inEnglasian, she thought it was Chinese:
That's not right! Sum Ting Wong
Are you harbouring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me ASAP Kum Hia Nao
Small Horse Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan
I think you need a face lift! Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here! Wai So Dim
I thought you were on a diet! Wai Yu Mun Ching
This is a tow away zone! No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week! Wai Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile Wa Shing Ka
Your body odour is offensive Yu Stin Ki Pu
Posted by: fardel | Monday, 20 October 2008 at 07:39 AM
There was this sign on the glass door of a lot in a shopping complex in Ipoh, Perak, Malaysia.
"One day we will close".
It actually meant the shop was closed for a day!
Posted by: Keith Yoong | Monday, 20 October 2008 at 09:15 AM
The Mexicans call the tomato sauce Katsup ( pronounce cat soup ).Has it been influence by Englasian too?
Posted by: fardel | Monday, 20 October 2008 at 01:18 PM
"Only 1 left in stock--order soon (more on the way)."
about Nury's book on an internet site
Posted by: fardel | Monday, 20 October 2008 at 01:25 PM
Vince A, yeah, I thought of writing up a dictionary myself. Some of the first Englasian terms I learned at school was of course the Alphabet. Ever try spelling Zebra to a local?
How to spell?
zed-ee-bee-ar-ay
Huh? es-ee-bee-I-ay?
No! Gosh, ok, eezed-ee-bee-arlo-ay
ohhh.... ok la.
Then there's this one: Kem cheen.
I thought they were talking about a science subject like chemistry. Turns out they were talking about getting a reimbursement.
chem = claim (english)
cheen = cantonese for money
Posted by: Lisa | Monday, 20 October 2008 at 10:31 PM
And has anyone noticed that all males are "winsun"?
You get a guy's namecard and it says Vincent.
So you ask for Vincent and no one knows who it is, but then you spell his name and they go, "Ohhh.... winsun."
Then of course there's Wilson and Winston but they are still pronounced "winsun".
My sis decided to call her son Rayson, since her husband's name is Ray. Our Filipino helper started calling him "winsun" too. She also talks about feeding our kid 'beer'. We discovered she meant pear.
Posted by: Lisa | Monday, 20 October 2008 at 10:36 PM