Comedians, east and west

How not to be not funny, Asian style

By Nury Vittachi

*

There was a heated debate the other day on the internet. “Asian comedians are retarded,” complained Wah Jai on Asian-Central.com. “They give Asians a bad name. Anyone who finds them funny are only laughing because they make fun of the Asian stereotype with the retarded accents they have.”

           A guy called Ray fought back, but didn’t sound very convincing: “Some Asian comedians are funny. At least the Japanese ones. Don’t like too many of the American Asian comedians. Some of the Filipino ones, umm, yeah, they were ok.”

A response from one John Lee said: “You are clearly jealous of the Chinese because we have the real Buddha and your Indian religion is a fake! Or as we say in Beijing: ‘Shur shur shur she shar’.”

The odd thing is that “Asian comedy” was defined as North Americans who mock the culture of their parents, such as Russell Peters, born in Toronto.

But in fact there are actual Asian comedians—Japan has dozens, and even Hong Kong has a few. Some are legends in their own country, such as Dolphy in the Philippines. But none are internationally known—yet.

           I went to see a British comedian the other day who shall be nameless (and who should for his own good always forget to reveal his name).

           His act consisted of shooting out the sort of puns you have to think about. “When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds,” he quipped.

The audience stared back at him blankly.

“A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is too tired,” he offered.

The audience stared back at him even more blankly.

Now I can well imagine that a few hours later, some members of the audience may have thought hard about his routine (although I doubt it). It “goes back four seconds” could also mean it goes back for second helpings. “Too tired” could also mean “two-tired”.

It’s no use doing this sort of joke. By the time the audience gets it, the joke-teller has been sacked and is tucked up in bed with a nice cup of hot strychnine.

I also saw some good comedians. Wilson Dixon, a cowboy, talked about his family. You knew he was making it up but it was so silly you had to laugh. “My uncle Cleetus is illiterate and ambidextrous which is a double tragedy,” he said. “He is unable to write with both hands.”

Some performers make serious points. One group of actors and dancers is living in a cage at Edinburgh zoo this month. They have relabelled it “Enclosure 44: Humans.” It was a visual statement on the complex relationship between humanity and other animals—oh no, it wasn’t. Zookeeper Angus Balbernie told the media: “This particular species, the dancer, is disappearing off the planet due to a problem called arts funding.” The group was after more money.

           The best performers manage to be topical and funny at the same time. British comedienne Bridget Christie is doing a show in which she imagines that the world’s first diarist, Samuel Pepys (born in 1633), is transported to the modern day and introduced to the modern equivalent of the diary – blogs on the Internet. He comments: “August the second. Ate a stick of celery. See, it’s rubbish. Stop blogging.”

           Have a nice cup of strychnine instead.

Comments

[Rika]

Done!
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Damned,impervious to strychnine...
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gotta do some more blogging then...
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Sorry!

[Harry]

Sounds like people just aren't funny anymore.

I wanted to comment because I just realized that your so famous, they named a Typhoon after you! Typhoon NURI!!!lol

http://www.hko.gov.hk/wxinfo/currwx/tc_pos.htm

[Vince A]

Gary Lising of the Philippines is/was a glanceworthy writer of humor. Possibly retired now, he was a gag writer for Johnny Carson, before the latter died.

Much of his humor is local (impenetrable unless you know the names), and green, but he has some real gems:

* If I die, I want to die like my grandfather- who died peacefully in his sleep; not screaming like all the passengers in the bus he was driving

* I was such an ugly baby. My mother only puts the negatives of my pictures in our family album.

(And in case that British comedian's audience is here, yes, Gary stopped writing for Johnny after Johnny passed away).

[Nury]

Rika, you are a hoot! You should definitely keep writing your funny blog http://incredible-ladies.com/

You would never write anything as boring as "ate a stick of celery" in your journal, although some people do -- in fact I wrote a piece on the world's worst blogs once, and there were some incredibly dull ones. There was one from Singapore in which a guy described his lunch. That's mundane enough for most of us, but the really sad thing was that his lunch was a snack at 7-Eleven. Fancy having to tell the world about that.

Harry, thanks for the weather bulletin -- I am staying in Macau at a conference and the organizer interrupted the session this evening to say that a typhoon was approaching. Thankfully she didn't name it!

Vince, your note about Gary Lising is news to me -- I had never heard of him. I will definitely check it out, thanks.

[Geoffrey Tipton]

Erm, Whats wrong with Celery? And the Nuri Typhoon is Old news. You vould say its the Spirit of Nuri Reformed coming on a Gay (Puff) Visit at High speed to give us a day of to have time to read his book, or attend his Right a book in 90 Day's!
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Nuri, the problem in the UK and the US is this political correct rubbish, a comedian can not tell jokes about Race, Religion will get a death sentence, and Politics will get them voted in. Which has opened up a new class of comedian, Big Fat guy telling Fat Jokes, Black Guy telling Black Jokes using the Ni word, Pakistani telling Paki jokes, Oriental Telling Oriental jokes. and White guys telling? not white jokes, but odd jokes that require some level of illness to understand.
I admire the Australian say it as you see it method, I laugh so much when I talk to an Ausy

[Rika]

No, never would use ‘stick of celery’ in such a positive context like eating. Hate celery and always will - and people nibble-chewing on them look so silly, it’s the un-sexiest vegetable ever. But can highly recommend celeriac - it’s supposed to be as powerful as oysters… - and if you serve it in a nice sour cream dressing and aside any kind of dead animal, like pork roast in Sherry sauce with German dumplings, then it even tastes good!

Sorry, boring or not - when it comes to fooood it's hard to stop myself. Gotta find some dead animal now...

[Nury]

You don't like celery because it is the "unsexiest vegetable ever"?
That's funny, when someone gives me a vegetable, I don't pick it up and think, hmm, exactly how sexy or unsexy is this pumpkin/ marrow/ rutabaga?
Am I weird or are you?
But I do like the sound of roast pork in sherry sauce with German dumplings, I shall definitely make a visit to you for that.

[Lisa]

It's interesting that after Nury writes a column complaining about typhoon names that the next typhoon hitting HK is named after him.

Says Bartek: "Nury must be anti-Filipino, I'll bet the headlines will say ."

[Geoffrey]

Coming back to the Celery, No sexy or not, My Girl Friend can do amazing none cook sexy stuff with a Celery, and I bet the Dancing Girls in Bankok could entertain too, but A Water Mellon, mm well that is another story.

[Filipino Women]

I agree that there are plenty of actual funny comedians out there. I do have to say that if a comedian bombs, it's their own fault. They need to know their audience and what will resonate.

[alvin]

now i know why my father doesn't laugh at western jokes....