How do you make a Sri Lankan laugh? No, it’s not a joke. I need to know. A busy public speaker, your humble narrator has appeared on stage (and sometimes bombed) in a variety of odd corners of Asia. The toughest audiences are South Asians. My fellow subcontinentals have a brand of humour all their own. It’s not easy to get into—but it’s well worth the effort.
In a bid to battle the imminent tragedy of global humour being defined by "America’s Funniest Home Videos", this blog occasionally pays homage to under-appreciated comedy from Asia. Today’s focus: South Asian humour.
Typical, homegrown north Indian jokes often circulate in marvellous Indian-English slang. Example:
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Manager: Raju! You was discharged from hospital yesterday only. Why you come office today itself?
Raju: Doctor told me take rest for a month. That’s why I come to office!
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OK, so it doesn’t travel that well, but it really does evoke the ethos of Indian office banter.
Irony is usually classified as a Western invention, but wags in south Asia sometimes poke fun at aspects of our own culture—such as the long names we carry. Example:
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James Bond is on a mission. He ends up on a flight next to a guy from Andhra Pradesh who speaks Telugu.
Telugu Guy: "Hello. May I know your good name, please?"
James Bond: "The name’s Bond. James Bond. You are…?"
Telugu Guy: "The name’s Sai. Venkata Sai. Siva Venkata Sai. Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai. Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai. Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai. Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai…”
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This joke continues like this for a long time, but you get the picture. And now you know why there’s no Indian James Bond. The movie would be over before he’d finished introducing himself.
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Non-Resident Indians, better known as NRIs, often swap laughs on cultural treasures of their motherland, such as Bollywood movies. Example:
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If Titanic had been made by Bollywood:
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(a) There would be ten times as many people on the ship.
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(b) Kate Winslet would wear a white dress and sing in the rain.
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(c) The movie would be seven and half hours long.
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(d) Leo di Caprio would chase Kate Winslet around the ship, singing and dancing around pillars.
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(e) The hero and the villain would turn out to be brothers, separated at birth.
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(f) Leo would have a sister, brother, mother, father and uncle on board.
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(g) Leo would survive and rescue his villainous brother, and the film would end with a musical family reunion.
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Actually, judging by the level of crass melodrama in it, I think Titanic probably was an Indian movie.
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Meanwhile, the humour of young South Asian people nearly always focuses on the generation gap. Example:
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You Know You Are South Asian If:
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(a) Your dad is an engineer or doctor.
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(b) Everyone assumes you’re good at math.
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(c) You have a 25-kilo sack of rice in your pantry.
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(d) Your father has the same amount of hair on his ears as his head.
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(e) You have rocks, sticks, leaves and mysterious strange-smelling substances in your medicine cabinet.
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(f) You refer to all adults as Auntie and Uncle.
South Asians often feel unfairly stereotyped, so some react against it with sardonic humour. Example:
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Westerner: Why do your women wear red dots on their foreheads?
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South Asian: So their husbands can use them for target practice.
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Westerner: Are you all vegetarian?
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South Asian: Yes. Even our tigers are vegetarian.
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Westerner: Do you speak Hindu?
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South Asian: Yes. And I belong to a religion called Hindi.
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Westerner: Why do you people walk on burning coals?
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South Asian: It makes our feet strong so we don’t have to buy designer shoes.
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Westerner: Why do you go around on elephants?
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South Asian: Elephants are what we use for taxis. There’s a meter behind the left ear.
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OK, so I don’t expect to see a stand-up from Hyderabad displacing Jay Leno tomorrow. But it is important to realize that people who live in Asia, and particularly South Asia, have our own sense of humour.
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And boy, do we need it.
